Ottawa judge cites single father's obesity as factor in ordering his two special needs sons, 4 and

Headline: "OTTAWA — An Ottawa man whose obesity played a factor in whether he was fit enough to be a father has lost custody of his children after a judge ruled Wednesday that his two boys will be put up for adoption."

www.ottawacitizen.com...

This is sad story. The father is reported to have been a heavy online gamer and, in the past to have run a grow-op and been a marijuana smoker. He was reported by children's aid workers to not know his own strength as they have said he caused them some pain when shaking their hands. The mother is not in the picture at all according to the news story, and the children have unspecified special needs.

Both children are now in foster homes, one with a single mother with five other children.

While the family court acknowledged the man has been a loving father with no history of abuse or neglect of his children, the judge determined that, based on the recommendations of the children’s aid workers and doctors, he would be unable to maintain his weight-loss program and also remain a good father. Apparently, he would not have enough time to do both.

Recently, the father is reported to have lost 185 lbs through his own diet and exercise changes, but these were done without accepting recommended medical interventions (i.e. bariatric surgery).

Apparently, the man's decision irritated one or more physicians who then recommended to the court his unsuitability as a father citing his anti-authoritarian behavior and unwillingness to accept medical advice.

Are there unreasonable biases here? The parent’s gender? Because he is fat? Because he smoked pot? Because he didn’t follow his doctor’s advice? Because he got on the wrong-side of children’s aid workers? Because it was reported he used to fight with his ex-wife? Because he spends too much time online gaming?

I also wonder about extended family, relatives etc. but that is sometimes a support system that isn’t available or worth much depending on the circumstances. For those who have it, it is a blessing.

We will probably never know the details. My guess is that his combined gender and obesity, and the fact that he rubbed some influential people the wrong way, probably tipped the scales of family justice against him and his children.

There is too much unknown to point fingers, but this story seems somehow unfair to the children and their father and reeks of bias against single fathers who are struggling.

Originally posted by surfin4it
Are there unreasonable biases here? The parent’s gender? Because he is fat? Because he smoked pot? Because he didn’t follow his doctor’s advice? Because he got on the wrong-side of children’s aid workers? Because it was reported he used to fight with his ex-wife? Because he spends too much time online gaming?

edit on 21-6-2012 by surfin4it because: corrected a mis-spelled word

I dont think there is any unreasonable bias at work here, although I will say the bit about the handshake was ridiculous. The guy has special needs children, which require a lot of time and energy. He was morbidly obese and got winded walking short distances. No way he could keep up with them. The gaming is a huge problem as well. I mean you cant possibly spend long periods of time playing a game and give your children the attention they need, much less special needs children. Forget the weed both of those things alone would be enough for me to think this guy isnt yet ready to care for his children. It sounds like you're trying to make a case that hes a victim, he is not. The fact that he threatened to go on a hunger strike if he doesnt get his kids just makes him sound immature and stupid.

reply to post by surfin4it

Apparently, the man's decision irritated one or more physicians who then recommended to the court his unsuitability as a father citing his anti-authoritarian behavior and unwillingness to accept medical advice.

Hmm Doctors are now reporting people as anti-authoritarian? Not accepting medical advice is anti-authoritarian? Since when is a Doctor an Authority of any sort? A Doctor cannot make you do anything, but they can take away your children if you don't listen to them. I guess they are the front men for our new increasingly nanny state government.

I sympathise with any parent having their children taken away and I feel sorry for the children being removed.

However his children are special needs. That requires more care and attention, that he might not be able to provide no matter how loving he may be. Bringing in housemates isn't always a stable environment. On the other hand it could have been extra assistance for him. If he is so overweight he's in danger of having a heart attack or developing other diseases, that isn't good.

So basically if your overweight,smoke weed and play video games you not worthy to be a father, based on someone's recommendations. Obviously their is a personality conflict between CAS workers and the Father. Who the !@#$% are they to suggest he will fail at his goals. He has already lost a substantial amount of weight. SO the courts can see the future now? Is that it? I question the judges statement from the article quote: The judge noted that the father never abused the children and used to run two businesses — a marijuana grow-op and a lucrative computer business. end quote. He used to run two businesses? One legal and one illegal?? Both Legal? HE was at his maximum weight when these kids were in diapers! How did he mange to run two businesses and raise from birth to present, two children? The mother was obviously there in the early years. Where's the mother in this mess? now? She gave up custody? When? WAS she overweight and unfit to mother, too? BOTH biological parents removed from the children's lives and the siblings themselves split up!! WHAT was the payout JUDGE JAMES?
How did the law serve these children?

Are any of you actually parents? Not heard so much crap in my life. You are effectively saying he is overweight so should loose his kids because they are "Special needs" I have never heard so much BS in all my life. Did you actually bother to read the post.

The judgement stated there was NO abuse or neglect, therefore the children were looked after, and there is no reason what so ever to take the children away. And of course the situation is going to be so much better for those kids now that "Both children are now in foster homes, one with a single mother with five other children. " If they are special needs how is taking a child away from a loving father and putting them with a single mother with 5 other kids going to help them? They will be getting far less attention and care in that situation.

So the guy is fat and cant get about as much, so what, does that mean people have to live exactly how others determine? What if some has kids, become involved in a accident and become handicapped, does that mean they have to immediately give their kids up?

They are his kids, he loves them obviously and unless they are neglected or abused they should NEVER be removed from their own parents, its disgusting.

You people really disappoint me sometimes, you come on here and complain about governmental control and then say something like this is right...

reply to post by PrinceDreamer
I completely agree with you. This story is nothing but sad. If he has already lost 185 lbs on his own he's obviously very motivated. He should be left to his own devices because it's working and it's the cheapest route.

We have a friend who has the lap banding, he's still gaining weight. More adjustments had to be made/visits to the Dr. etc. before a little weight finally came off. This procedure guarantees nothing if the patient isn't motivated. It offers no long term solution for why the weight was gained it in the first place.

Our friend is more motivated in finding ways to work around the banding than actually losing the weight. Btw he's on social security disability because of his weight. I think some of these doctor's prescribed methods in theory sound pretty good but in practice they become little more than a huge money making scheme for the already bloated, out of control medical industry.

As it is foster parents are in such short supply some kids are forced to live in group homes. The fact is these kids are now a drain on a system that should've been exclusively for children who've been abused/neglected/abandoned. This situation is disgusting.

When I was a kid we had a close family friend who was obese. I stayed at their house all the time and that woman was amazing. She would come down to the basement and push each one of us kids on a motor-less go cart that the boys were working on. She'd huff and puff but she was always right there when we needed her. I've never seen such a big person move so fast. Complete BS heavy parents are just as capable/loving as skinny ones.