Deciding Between Love, And Comfort.

There is a definitive line between love and comfort. Not many have the unfortunate opportunity to have to decide between the two, and I fully understand this.

There is a time where you have to take a chance. When the chance arises to have to make a choice. Do you want to remain in something comfortable, familiar? Or does the prospect of new love make you want to wonder?

This is mostly for those that have realized that they may have settled. Its hard to admit I know, but when something new comes your way.... unfamiliar, exciting, and fulfilling. You dont want to emotionally cheat, but you "know" that there is something more.... do you take the leap? Or do you remain?

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
There is a definitive line between love and comfort. Not many have the unfortunate opportunity to have to decide between the two, and I fully understand this.

There is a time where you have to take a chance. When the chance arises to have to make a choice. Do you want to remain in something comfortable, familiar? Or does the prospect of new love make you want to wonder?

This is mostly for those that have realized that they may have settled. Its hard to admit I know, but when something new comes your way.... unfamiliar, exciting, and fulfilling. You dont want to emotionally cheat, but you "know" that there is something more.... do you take the leap? Or do you remain?

Peace, NRE.

LOVE...I will always take the leap...because all is worthy of LOVE

ETA
Everyone is worthy of love and it needs to be placed...it needs to be spread...LOVE FOREVER, ALL IS WORTHY OF LOVE and EVERYONE IS FOREVEVER WORTHY OF LOVE
People just need to wake the hell up. We all love one another...don't we

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
There is a definitive line between love and comfort. Not many have the unfortunate opportunity to have to decide between the two, and I fully understand this.

There is a time where you have to take a chance. When the chance arises to have to make a choice. Do you want to remain in something comfortable, familiar? Or does the prospect of new love make you want to wonder?

This is mostly for those that have realized that they may have settled. Its hard to admit I know, but when something new comes your way.... unfamiliar, exciting, and fulfilling. You dont want to emotionally cheat, but you "know" that there is something more.... do you take the leap? Or do you remain?

Peace, NRE.

It all depends on the person. If you're the hopeless romantic who has always been looking for love, never found it, and see an opportunity to have it.......you leap. Keep in mind though that even if all signs point in the direction that this "new found love" is something that may have been meant to be, there may still be work to be to done towards that end.

There are a few people left out there who have been "hold outs" and don't have much of a personal life because they've been waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but for the rest who for one reason or another "settled", they're going to have to work their way back up to where the hold out is. The hold outs are at a place where they are ready to make a life with Mr. or Mrs. Right, right away. The people who settled don't have that luxury. Especially if they're married with children.

I could go on and on about this, but I think my point has been made. Sometimes you have to take care of the business end of life before you can get to that emotional heaven you've always been looking for.

NoRegretsEver
I think when a marriage becomes perfect roommates its easy to fall into the comfort zone and not want to move on everything you have worked hard for and all your personal belongings becomes your world and you tend to just settle for that...

I know many that just settle and are not happy but don't move on maybe out of fear of whats out there or of just being alone or financial reasons..

I went through a divorce in December not one that i wanted but i had enough so i took the leap and it wasn't for someone else..

Now that its over I'm glad it happened there is a whole new world out there that is exciting, and fulfilling if the chance arises and a person is feeling like there suffocating and there is more out there take the leap don't spent the rest of your life in the comfort zone its not worth it to me..peace,sugarcookie1

reply to post by ThePublicEnemyNo1

People just need to wake the hell up. We all love one another...don't we

What happens when you walk in on your love who is "loving" some other girl?

Loving people sounds all nice in theory. Try doing it in real life, people end up dead or worse.

Eventually the new and exciting will turn into familiar and comfortable.

Originally posted by Night Star
Eventually the new and exciting will turn into familiar and comfortable.

And let's also not forget that "love" is a biochemical reaction in the brain no different than that which results from eating chocolate.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver

So new spontaneous love trumps trust, loyalty, and sacrifice? I see people who leave long-term relationships for the new shiny thing as immature children. They'll never grow up. They're always chasing something that will dwindle because they don't understand that love is growing appreciation for another human being when things are hard.

I have zero respect for any person who consciously throws away their past like it was toilet paper. Such people are the very definition of fair weather friends. The only thing that matters to such a person is immediate gratification. Everything else is thrown to the wind. No story was ever written about a pet that ran away from home that didn't come back to its owner. Even animals are capable of a more steadfast friendship.

reply to post by Xtraeme


Well said.

People often think the grass is greener on the other side when in reality it isn't. If you speak to some people who have been married a number of times, they will tell you that they should have stayed with their first marraige, but by then it is way too late. If you are wise enough to marry someone who is also your best friend, you'll never fail. If you don't take your spouse for granted and always leave the lines of communication open, you will have a solid and lasting relationship.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I can relate to your OP. I went six years without sex with my wife, and then met a friend online in real life.

I leaped, boy, did I ever. I left behind my six year old son. It was the hardest thing I ever did my entire life. I put him on the bus one morning, then left my wife because of her lack of affection. I spent the next six months in bliss, a loving relationship where all my needs were met. I was happy, and content.

However, I couldn't forget my offspring. I was bound to my obligations, the life that I created.

I traded happiness for my responsibilities, and as putrid as you may think it is, I had a girlfriend and wife at the same time, for a brief period. They both knew my activities, I was completely honest, and suddenly the wife became sexually interested in me again. They both knew I had to make a decision, and as complicated as it was, I chose the mother of my now 8 year old son.

What a mistake.

It has now devolved back into the same sexless marriage. In January, once, in February twice, in March, once, April, May, and June have all been dry. Four times since the beginning of 2012. My wife doesn't touch me. My girlfriend did, those little things, a brush against my arm, a pat on the butt, a casual run of her hand through my short hair. She made me feel important, and with my wife, I feel a like a leper.

There are things that a man craves, and one is to know that their woman loves them. Men know that by the way their woman acts. I scorned, perhaps, the perfect match for me, due to worldly obligations, and so set my fate.

I'll trade all the comforts of the world to have love once again. I mean that.

(ETA: Hard post to write. I'm 43 now, and too old to hope for change. It's not often I bare my soul, but I have no regrets. Life goes on.)

Originally posted by IpsissimusMagus
reply to post by ThePublicEnemyNo1

 

People just need to wake the hell up. We all love one another...don't we

What happens when you walk in on your love who is "loving" some other girl?

Loving people sounds all nice in theory. Try doing it in real life, people end up dead or worse.

Well, I hope that did not happen to you...and loving people is nice even in theory

I only practice what I speak...I do love people in real life....even you

reply to post by ThePublicEnemyNo1

I only practice what I speak...I do love people in real life....even you

Even me?

That sounds like an insult.

Do you insult the ones you love often?