God, dead people, flowers and sex.

Flowers.

We adorn our churches, cemeteries and holy places with them.
We send them to our loved ones, especially the sick and elderly.
We smell like them and so do our cleaning and personal hygiene products.

Interestingly enough, they are just sexual organs. Granted, plant organs but reproductive organs no less. Penises and vaginas. Now imagine for a second the unthinkable. Swap species. Now instead of petals, stigmas, filaments, anthers, sepals etc you have animal or human pubic hair, clitoris, inner and outer labia, glans, testicles etc.

Awkward right? Especially when you think about gifting them to our Gods, elderly, sick and deceased.

But because it's plant sexual organs completely different in FORM we automatically think it is also different in ESSENCE. This is a fallacy. They are still penises and vaginas, no matter the shape, color, size or form.

Flowers are not symbols of triumph, peace, love and respect. I mean, I guess as labels we use to trick our conscious minds, sure, they can be those symbols but ultimately they are symbols of fertility.
We are obsessed with fertility. Everything we do is a fertility ritual, especially our spiritual practices.

We associate sex and reproduction with life (God) and mortality (illness, death) which is kind of cute in a continuation-of-the-species-wishful-thinking kind of way. Only we use plants to do this, as we consider them clean and pure, as opposed to animals and humans, which are vile and "sinful" by nature. Quite interesting.

So, I hope you have a poor imagination and pray I haven't ruined your next flower experience...or your sexual one for that matter!

reply to post by lupodigubbio


This is a fallacy


You meant Phallicy, right..?

reply to post by lupodigubbio

I think florists everywhere would like to see you cease this kind of thread. Have you any idea what this could do to Mother's day sales?

ETA On the other hand it could increase the sale of Funeral wreaths. "Have a phallic symbol you old bugger!"

reply to post by lupodigubbio


I will be thinking twice when smelling the flowers

Great post, OP!!


Wonder what my girlfriend will say when I suggest we use vaginas as decoration for our wedding instead of flowers...


Also, I guess it shouldn't be offensive if someone draws a penis on your tombstone..they just didn't have any flowers with them

It was cool how you put your thread together I saw the title and was like.. how in the? But wow good point haha!

Ironically, the VIRGIN Mary has gotten more flowers every day than anyone dead or alive in the history of human kind. That is wrong on too many levels.

Ha - did you adapt this from the pervert's guide to cinema? Love Zizek. -

^^ lol

Scent has been bred out of commercialized
flowers. In the past frankincense and myrrh was
used as offerings (tree resin), but then
imagination, hidden meanings could be found
behind helium-birthday-balloons too

Misleading thread title
I thought I was in for a kinky read.

reply to post by Xaphan


What's misleading about the title..?


Could it be that you didn't take your Ritalin today..?

Well an apple a day should keep the doctor at bay; but clearly not the psycho-analyst.

Good heavens, sometimes a bouquet is still ... well get the colors wrong in some cultures and you're in a right bloomin' mess.

The metaphor is not entirely subconscious, especially with eco-feminism around hemp, or the oral fixation with tobacco.

However, flowers thrive on being cut and seeded by creatures great and small, so with plants I guess castration makes them happy!
They can grow them again in many cases.

Nevertheless, a lot of poetry compares romantic love to flowers, especially roses.
I think people in the past were much more aware of the metaphors.
They even named a moss "maidenhair", and I guess that wasn't after the hair on the maiden's head.
en.wikipedia.org...

Since the person who wrote this topic went this far...I guess I will take it another step. Some flowers...ans since I used to teach Survival...a Fairly Tasty! Now...before you go and try this...REMEMBER...EVERYONE has a different allergic effect to certain things so I don't want to hear about anyone going into ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK....so don't try this if you are naturally allergic to everything and if you do this..it is at your own risk. So just don't do this unless with an expert.

Certain Lilly's that come up every year in most peoples landscaping....yellow and orange taste very much like Lettuce. Clover Flowers...white and Pink are tasty. I am from Mass and taught survival in many areas but the New England Area has a wide Buffet.

There are many natural onions...Skunk Cabbage, Cat Tail stems by the tuber roots...but any higher and they can be poisonous! Wild Carrots, Raspberries both Red and Black...Indian Cucumbers that are small but have a tuber that grows sideways and tastes just like a cucumber, Acorns, Pine Nuts, Sarsaparilla, White Pine Bark that can be used as Aspirin, Mushrooms of all types...BUT ONLY PICK AND EAT IF YOU ARE WITH A PERSON WHO IS HIGHLY EXPERIENCED AS THE WRONG MUSHROOM CAN KILL YOU PAINFULLY! Dandelions and if you pick them early...their greens are delicious...a type of ground red berry but I will not describe it more as there is one similar that is poisonous. Staghorn Sumac...but again...their are poisonous Sumac out there so don't try without an expert....the list goes on and on.

I know I have said this but I will say it again...just because you buy a book is not enough of a saftey buffer to try some of these things so join a local club that does this and especially with Mushrooms...even touching some of the poisonous ones and licking your fingers could kill you...so be careful and be with an expert. Split Infinity

reply to post by lupodigubbio

A penis has at least two biological functions and a vagina at least three...
...so why can't a flower have more than one function?

reply to post by troubleshooter

Since plants photosynthesize or have roots, they don't need urinary systems, and because flowers and fruits shed the seeds (and I suppose most, but not all plants are hermaphrodites) they don't have a birth canal to reproduce.

So most flowers don't need these other roles, and thus they didn't evolve them, or God didn't find it necessary to make plant babies come out of cabbage-patch wombs.

However some plants do eat insects, although I'm not sure if that's a modified flower or leaf.

reply to post by facelift

Consult the second line.
I was joking.

Originally posted by troubleshooter
reply to post by lupodigubbio

 

A penis has at least two biological functions and a vagina at least three...
...so why can't a flower have more than one function?

Function or use? Big difference. A flower's function has already been established by nature, and yes, it can have multiple functions as long as they are biological. We can't make them "function" in any other way than its DNA dictates but we can "use" them for any ritual we want.

I'm not so sure about all this, by this reasoning you could say " we all came from the stars and when you cut an apple in half there is a perfect pentacle inside wich is a star that looks like a human with they're arms and legs spread" so we and the stars are all apple's symbolicly. or apple's are symbolical of humans and stars. a star a day keeps the doctor away and whatnot. it seems like some sort of circular logic but hey whatever it's still fun to think about. just a different perspective. qoutes by Marilyn Manson "The day they covered us in the dirt
like stars in the ground
that will grow into dead flowers"
"but worse so,
back to the point
you are no longer the flower
and the sun
and most importantly the garden
or the gardener" hmmmmm?

reply to post by lupodigubbio


Great thread idea

Given the esoteric use of the flower in ancient religions, they were obviously far more clued up on this than the average Joe these days. For those of us who have worked in horticulture and have practiced selective breeding of plants, well we know exactly what we are doing and the various parts that we have been touching that make us the equivalent to IVF specialists in the world of plants.

What I find interesting is how many orchid species so clearly resemble human female genitalia, and with that in mind, it doesn't come as much of a surprise that men dominate the world of orchid breeding. And the greater the distance from the 'wild' form, the harder it get to get those plants to breed with each other, selection leads as often as not, to decreased fertility, and so those specialists spend an awful lot of time, fiddling with plant sexual organs. Makes you think...

reply to post by lupodigubbio

So beauty and perfume are not 'functions' even though it is why we humans cultivate and enjoy them.
Obviously they serve biological function for us...
...we give them to the sick to help make them well, reward success and nurture our personal and sexual relationships.