Social Anxiety Disorder is destroying my life!!!!!

My point is, for those who have ASD has to look at life from a different perspective. The first thing I've learned that helped me most is that; Never take anything for granted. This includes your senses. I always wonder why people with ASD, especially those who can hear has a hard time being around people. Few reasons that I can think of at the moment is; they don't love themselves. More often than not, people believe how they see themselves is how other people will see them. As long as you believe this, you will be projecting this onto others and most likely people will see you the way you are thinking they will see you. Fear of failure? Some people try too hard to be accepted by others, and this fear could hold them back. I'm sure there are several others but I want to keep this short.

My advice to those with ASD;

Don't take anything for granted. Your hearing alone, is the most important sense that can allow you to do wonders with your life. Learn something, do you have goals? Do them, as for relationships goes don't be to hard on yourself. A lot of people are in the same situation as you, and choose to handle it their own way. Some people like to gossip, make up things, lie their way through, too pass time. Ever wonder why a lot of people smoke? Usually smokers are the kind of people who don't enjoy being around people but only do it because they want to boost their ego to feel good about themselves. They don't want to feel like a "loser", and hense they try to be around others so people can think they are "cool". That's the hidden reason why people smoke, I believe there is a little more too it than just being addicting. I also study people, especially when they smoke. Which is why I came ot these conclusions.

There's more in life than talking about subjects and topics. There are lots of things you can do with people, you can help them and learn from them. People love it when others listen to them, you don't have to actually enjoy it but just pretend to enjoy it and ask questions to make it look like you're interested. If they talk about anything that you can relate too, that's when you can talk about your experiences. Listen to what people talk to among eachother in the background and if you hear of any interesting topics don't be afraid to jump in and talk among with them.

Are you addicted to pornography?I know that a lot of cases of social anxiety can be caused by an addiction to pornography. When I got off of it for a long enough time my life returned to normal. See if you can goa month without it. If you feel like you can give up the porn without a problem, then it might be something else causing your SAD. For that then, I would recommend meditation to get in touch with why you are nervous around people. Also, get on some medication that helps you get through the day

When did SAD suddenly become something else? It is "Seasonal Affective Disorder", something I am personally familiar with. As for Social Anxiety Disorder, I think there is a misplaced aconym here.

Oh Wait! Sorry, I stand corrected: What is SAD?

89 SAD's and counting!

On topic, however, I would guess to say that no one will ever feel proper in any setting except the setting that most suits them. Sometimes we just are not in our correct mode of expression and instead are following someone else's plan of living.

reply to post by soconfused


I fought with SAD for a long time, still do some days. The only thing I found that worked for me was work. Jobs that force me to deal with the public in some way. When I get paid, and flip the switch in my head to work mode, and the rest comes easy after a little while. I tried anti-depressants and anxiety meds, all they did was make me an apathetic zombie.

The only real way to get rid of SAD is to expose yourself to the public as much as possible and not isolate yourself. I still have a hard time talking to people sometimes, but not nearly as bad as when I wasn't working and had nothing to do but sit around and fill my head with anxiety thoughts.

Thats just what worked for me though. I hope you find something, cause it sucks feeling alone like that.

OP, despite the pharmacotherapy bashers, there ARE pills that will help with this.

Baby steps.

Recruit someone you trust (friend or family) to help you. You need to be in a non-critical, non-judgmental environment, with people who understand what is going on to begin with, for positive reinforcement at first.

Take it slow, but keep trying. Don't give in to it. You can get this monkey off your back. Between a little help from your friends,and an anxiety aid, you can accomplish peace in social situations.

Good luck.
~~~ Oh, I had a phobia of public speaking for a while, and hypnosis helped immensely.

allow the actor to reside into nothing so that there is only the act left.
dont take drugs, thats just there so people can make money off you.

reply to post by soconfused


I used to have social anxiety, I still have a little anxiety. I found the reason to be too much nicotine and alcohole in the weekends. Do you smoke or drink alcohol often?

Im 35 yrs old and have social anxiety since around the age of 12-13. Probably chemical change during puberty. I take meds and they help a little, but I have been anti social for so long I am afraid to even try. I also feel hopeless about the condition of the world and just cant understand how multi millionares and billionares can sleep at night while millions are starving, disease-ridden and afraid of being caught in war/riots 24-7. I am willing to talk to anyone that wants to on the phone about this. *snip*
No Im not crazy and I could care less who knows my phone number or that someone might stalk me. I can talk on the phone without anxiety so its worth the risk.


Mod edit: Personal information removed.

Thanks for the comments everyone. The fact is I have never done drugs or drank alcohol and I don't watch porn. I am a very disciplined person. I am also a master level martial arts instructor. The 10 years I had my own dojo was the best years of my life, but unfortunately I had to close up shop a little over a year ago due to the economy. Ever since then I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I never knew how much I depended on other people to make me feel comfortable. Now that it's just me out there in the world it's overwhelming sometimes. It seemed easier when I had lot's of young people depending on me to lead them and be a role model. They never knew on the inside that I was so afraid to try new things. Now that I don't have that in my life my anxiety has taking over again. There is ways to get back to that place in my life but just the thought of it scares the crap out of me for some reason.

Originally posted by soconfused
Thanks for the comments everyone. The fact is I have never done drugs or drank alcohol and I don't watch porn. I am a very disciplined person. I am also a master level martial arts instructor. The 10 years I had my own dojo was the best years of my life, but unfortunately I had to close up shop a little over a year ago due to the economy. Ever since then I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I never knew how much I depended on other people to make me feel comfortable. Now that it's just me out there in the world it's overwhelming sometimes. It seemed easier when I had lot's of young people depending on me to lead them and be a role model. They never knew on the inside that I was so afraid to try new things. Now that I don't have that in my life my anxiety has taking over again. There is ways to get back to that place in my life but just the thought of it scares the crap out of me for some reason.

I've suffered it too & now realize its a control thing.
When you face , & I mean really face the fears, you learn how very little control we have over life.
I'm a bit of a perfectionist, & relied on being as organized as possible, because if things came up (which they always did!) & I wasn't prepared, it was pretty much a guaranteed panic attack.
What I also realized, was the harder I tried to prepare for ANY eventually, the more things would be thrown my way. It was like I created them. Now I think of it as the Universes/Gods way of showing me to learn trust & faith.
Fact is, I CAN'T control life or its events, but I can choose to find peace in faith & trust in God.
I should add that I was never religious nor have ever attended church, but I always believed in God (even If I didn't trust in Him enough back then!!!).
Not saying this will work for you, but it may give you another avenue to explore when trying to figure out the 'whys'.
Good luck to you my friend.

OP,

The best advice would be for you to find a doctor (cognitive therapist) to prescribe a low dose of anxiety meds while you and the doc work together to figure out a way to help you cope. Once you've got your coping mechanisms in place, then the doc can slowly wean you off the anxiety meds.

Since you don't have insurance and might not be able to see a doc, here's a follow-up suggestion. Do you meditate? If not, now's a great time to practice and learn. There are a plethora of youtube videos showing how to meditate and you can even download different "songs" that will ease your brain into the meditative state. Meditation can help calm you when you start to feel overwhelmed.

Another thing to try is deep breathing. This is especially good when you are in the midst of a panic attack. Take a deep breath in to the count of 5, hold it, then SLOWLY release the air to the count of 8. Its important that you take longer to release the air. When a person is stressed, they breathe shallowly; in other words, quick breaths like panting. By slowing your exhalations, you force your body to calm itself. Takes practice, but can work wonders.

Have you heard of fidgets? A fidget is anything you might use in your hands to help you release pent-up energy. When I'm going to be in a stressful situation, I bring a Tangle (buy them at toy stores) or silly putty. Some people use worry stones. Anyway, the idea is to use the putty or Tangle or stones as a way to work out tension. Most people don't even notice I'm doing it unless I call attention to the trick.

If possible, avoid caffeine on days when you know you're going to be in a stressful situation. There are calming scents (lavender is my favorite) that you might try. I believe its Bath and Body that has "pulse point cream". I use the lavender and it is amazing.

You can get through this, OP. Think positive thoughts, don't focus on the negative. If I can help in any way, just send me a message.

Hugs to you and your family,
smylee

reply to post by smyleegrl


Yeah the breathing thing doesn't work in my case. I've studied Qi Gong breathing for years but the shortness of breathe is still there. The crazy thing about me is that I can stand in front of 50 to 100 people and teach martial arts but I can't stand in a room with 5 people and give a presentation. I also have extreme difficulty reading in front of other people. I definitely need medication to control the physical part but the mental is a whole different story. It's kind weird because I know what is happening to me but I just can't control it in anyway. It's almost like I am looking through someone else's eye sockets but it's not my body. I know this sounds really, really insane but sometimes I feel like my body and my soul separate from each other leaving me trapped inside something that isn't me. Strange very strange!!!

Update on my situation! I was called in the office before I left work today and was confronted by 2 of my managers. That in it's self was a very hard thing to sit through. I tried to explain my disorder to them but the look on their faces told me that they were clueless. I was pretty much given the option to quit or get fired so I told them I wasn't going to quit they would have to fire me. Then they tried to convince me that the job wasn't right for me and I would be much happier with something else. What a load of bull crap! They just didn't want to say your fired thinking I would get a lawyer. And I might just do so! Tomorrow is when I know for sure what's going to happen. This is a huge company I work for and I can't believe that there is no place for me in that company. I bet if I had a drug problem they would send me to rehab and pay for it all but if you have a real mental problem "here's the door syco, nice knowing ya!"

reply to post by soconfused


Make them fire you, then you can collect unemployment while you find something more suited to you. It is a dirty tactic used by companies to avoid having to pay out unemployment.

reply to post by Darkblade71


I haven't been with the company 90 days yet.

reply to post by soconfused


First...I'm so sorry you are going through this situation. It really sucks. I too had about a 2 year bout with SAD, brought on the loss of relative I cared for. I knew she was living on borrowed time for the last year of her life, but I still wasn't prepared for the inevitable. I spiraled into a deep depression and full blown SAD. Therapy and meds were the treatment for the first year...therapy helped more than the meds, I think. After a year on anti-depressants I decided I wanted off them. I felt like a lump on a log...unhappy lump at that.

It was a 2 month gradual weaning process, but finally I was med free, and felt so much better being off them. I still had bouts of SAD during stressful situations, so I did a lot of research on alternatives to prescription meds. I found a winner that I now take every day...it has made all the difference in the world for me. I too work with a the public, and sometimes a lot of people at once, it can get unnerving. But, with what I take once in the morning every day...I find myself able to deal with even the fast curve balls thrown at me.

It's over the counter, reasonable price. the name of the product is 5-HTP 100mg tablets. Natural Mood and Relaxation. It really works for me, and others I've told about it. It comes in doses up to 100mg. I recommend the 100mg dose.

5-Hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP), also known as oxitriptan (INN), is a naturally occurring amino acid and chemical precursor as well as a metabolic intermediate in the biosynthesis of the neurotransmitters serotonin and melatonin from tryptophan.

5-HTP is sold over-the-counter in the United Kingdom, United States and Canada as a dietary supplement for use as an antidepressant, appetite suppressant, and sleep aid, and is also marketed in many European countries for the indication of major depression.

en.wikipedia.org...

How 5-HTP works.

How 5-HTP Works:

Serotonin is a "neurotransmitter which is responsible for mood, hunger sleep" (www.herbsnow.com/sotm.htm). The website, medquest pharmacy claims that 5-HTP works by increasing the amount of serotonin produced in the brain. And in fact, according to Gastpar and Wakelin (1998), 5-HTP is a known precursor to serotonin which has been proven in many studies. Serotonin levels are supposed to have a direct effect on a persons mood (www.medquwestpharmacy.com/5-htp.htm). In fact antidepressant drugs approved by the FDA, such as Prozac, are said to work by increasing the amount of serotonin available to the brain(www.biosyenrgy.com/5htp.htm).


Effectiveness of Treatment:

It is said on medquest pharmacy�s web site that when 100mg of 5-HTP is taken three times a day for an extended period of time showed a 50 % improvement in depressed patients. In addition the patients are said to have had no side effects(www.medquwestpharmacy.com/5-htp.htm). In all other areas of treatment associated with 5-HTP(i.e. weight loss) nonumbers are given on the web sites but clinical studies showed "significant improvement" of the patient�s problem. The areas tested include panic attacks, insomnia, obesity, and anxiety (www.reach4life.com/1000a.html?pid=2756&cob=home)
www.vanderbilt.edu...

Hope things get much better for you real soon. It does get better, I promise.

Des

reply to post by Destinyone


This is very interesting, Des, and one I haven't heard of before. Thanks for the info!

A lot of the RX drugs that target depression do so by either stimulating production of serotonin, or reducing the amount of serotonin that is "taken up" by the synapses after transmitting the signal to the next synapse. Hence the nickname Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (or SRIs).

People will often self-medicate with serotonin and not even know it. Chocolate is my personal addiction, it releases similar to serotonin.

This is great advice, OP. Give it a try!

Just wanted to check back in on the thread. Have you found any of the advice helpful yet? There have been some great suggestions here. I know how devastating it can be.
Something my kids have said to me is that just having someone who understands that they can come to helps a lot. If you need a shoulder to lean on, don't hesitate to ask. It seems there are several people here that are very willing to help.

The advice given so far has been great but unfortunately for me I'm still losing my job. Things took a turn for the worse yesterday when I was confronted by my manager and my anxiety kicked in. I pretty much shelled up and got angry because I couldn't express myself in a way that he could understand. I also secretly recorded the conversation and would love to share it but can't upload to this site. After listening to myself on the recording it's even more clear to me that I have a serious problem with SAD. Wow! How strange to know you have a problem and are fully coherent to the fact but still I can do nothing about it myself.

Not that anyone cares but here goes. I did lose my job but it actually was a good thing. I have already found a new job and loving it.