How Do You Stop a Bully?

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


Like my dad told me when I was growin up "just hit em the nose as hard as you can son"!...........and the rule of thumb in prison is "don't start no #, & don't take no #"!

Originally posted by ZIPMATT
reply to post by LightsideAssassin

 

Its not an option to just hit out , as so many have asserted . Its a gross overgeneralisation . / you dont know who is trained or not .

The option of restraint is what should be sought or retained . This is the position of power, over the bully he wishes to pull from you .

As in , the power to disarm is one far greater than of simply being able to shoot .

Jesus said , "Turn the other cheek"

That is good advice . If the bully hits you once , allow him another shot . Just the one more ... It serves many ends . The bully will
1. Have to respect you for it / think your crazy / trained / ready
2. Think twice about whether to do it again
3. wonder what will happen if he does
4. Give you 2 reasons , not just one , to defend yourself against a clear enemy
5. /incriminate himself openly in the eyes of others
6. have a second chance to learn his lessons

etc .

Its the power of psychology comes well before force . Power under proper controls

Jesus said if you are slapped (hit) on the one cheek offer him your other....

This has not one thing to do with being a pacifist, or being against self defense... Romans (who were the people policing the Jewish community at the time) hit slaves or non-Romans with the back of their hand in a downward fashion.....

But if they hit (slapped) another Roman, they did it with the front of their hand open handed, straight across....

What Jesus was saying to the people "force the Roman to treat the Jew as an equal, in any and every possible way". This was about equality and not about being bullied or hit

Originally posted by CodyOutlaw
reply to post by Konduit

 

Neither of them were on Zoloft.
Harris was on Luvox.
Klebold was not on any psychiatric medication.
It is undeniable from student statements that these boys and their friends were bullied by the meathead jock white hate brigade.
The sad thing to me is that douchebag Hoffschneider is still breathing.

Zero Day does not show the home videos.
The home videos, "The Basement Tapes" have never been released.
Jeffco has refused to release them, and has tried to put in court orders to destroy them completely.
They singled out plenty of people on their hit lists. Unfortunately, the public are only able to read "redacted."
Although, out there in the Wild World Web, there is the unredacted 11K floating around.

I stand by my posts.

edit on 27-5-2012 by CodyOutlaw because: (no reason given)

I watched Zero Day back in 2007, it show's them building bombs in Klebold's house, buying the weapons from their friend including a tech 9, test firing them, preparing all the gear and even designing levels in Doom based on the layout of their school. The tape runs right up to the morning of the shootings, where Klebold steals his parents car and starts getting all excited and sweaty palmed as he talks about what they are going to do. The last scene shows them parking in an abandoned lot and running toward the school with the camera recording them on the cars dash.

Both did have parents that worked within the military industrial complex in Colorado, Harris may have been on Luvox, but Klebold had stopped taking his medication earlier that year which led to his extreme despression. Many of the victims in the shooting were not a part of the "in" crowd, they were disabled special needs students and their plan was to detonate propane bombs in the cafeteria and kill anyone they could. Trying to say that bullying was the cause of this is just ignorant. There is still the fact that bullets found in some of the bodies didn't match any weapons they were using.

reply to post by SproutKY


Sprout,
Your appreciation means a great deal to me! :-) If my many years of unfortunate experience with bullies can end in sharing something of benefit to another, well then, I can be proud of transforming the negative into useful experience. Thank you.

peace to you,
AB

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest

Originally posted by Sinny
Depends if you've got brains or brawn....

I have both

...

I was always taught a good punch soon shuts em up, but if that's not your style, use your brains, pick up on their insecurities, and a quick silver tounge to hurt them deep inside.

But if a big believer In being all sentimental and emotional... Could try talking about feelings lol

Yes, talking about feelings. That'll fix 'em.

There is a good book called Verbal Judo by George Thompson. The premise of the book is that no argument or bully can be beat if the person speaking uses bias, condescension or anger. This only builds ground for the other person to stand above you in the fight. He uses the art of Judo to make his point. The presupposition of Verbal Judo is that you should always think for the other person in the same manner in which they should be thinking for themselves. While doing it, you should remain calm and assertive at all times. The second someone knocks you off your balance, you will resort to bias and fight. Instead of fighting, use truth.

The old judo masters of old would use the momentum of the adversary against them. When they come at you, simply divert their momentum the direction they are headed. Typically, an adversary will not be relying on truth or common sense. This is why they are the adversary and you are the bigger person. Truth always rises above error. As the fight progresses and the opponent wears out--like a fish on a hot day--you can then speak in the manner in which they should be speaking for themselves. If your platform is truth, you will rise. If theirs is truth, they will rise. The bigger person wins.

If you remain the bigger person, the other will follow and equilibrium ends the problem.

In my opinion you need to get into their mind. To fight a criminal (bully in this case) you have to think like one. What makes them tick, what makes them satisfied, what they anticipate and what they see in you that makes you vulnerable. In school there were two guys that bullied me for quite some time, until i turned my mind on theirs. Over a series of months i analyzed them, watching their actions and observing what they liked and disliked. The biggest point is how you react to them when they do bully you. If they see anger in you, frustration, that's what they're after. It takes a lot to ignore things and let them not bother you but in the end it will help you out not only in school but further in life.

I played so many mind games with bullies at school that i think by my freshmen year in school people were literally afraid of me, and i never raised so much as a finger. I had one close friend that helped me get through some tough times but i think my strategy worked a little too well. Nobody would even look at me and when they spoke to me it was as if they didn't know what to say, fearing i would twist it in some way.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


Survivaloftheslickest,

Did you send me a message? I guess I can't reply b/c your not ATS staff.

hit me up on AOL - RESINRAIDER (I raid the # out of resin)


To beat a bully, first read the art of war by Sun Tzu. Start training and getting shape. Work on punches, combos, timing, reflexes, and defense. Find out when the bully is alone and not surrounded by his henchmen as bullies usually are cowards who do not go it alone. Do whatever you have to do to make him respect you. Follow him into the urinal and when he is pissing grab the back of his head and slam it on the tile. His face is a foot or less away from it. Then put his face in the urinal and take a piss on him. When he wakes up, spit on him.

And enjoy the rest of your day, cause he wont # with you again.

reply to post by BODYBAGxPAT


You need 20 posts to reply. Cheers.

Originally posted by Mnemicrsl
reply to post by survivaloftheslickest

 

A quick right jab to the left eye. It's worked for me in the past. Heck I'll even do it again.


2nd line.

A prime example of the pointlessness of such a general thread.
That approach might work for someone in the street, I doubt it would work if it was your boss (except get you in the dole queue).
Too many types of bullying.
Too many different situations.
The OP needs to be specific.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


How do you stop a bully?

IRL the Only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them. Teach your kids to fight back but only if they are really in the wrong and need to defend themselves. Bullys keep bullying because they think they can get away with it. Show them they can't get away with it and they will stop.

I know this from first hand experience. As a small child I was bullied a lot. i was short and wore thick glasses. I was taught in the home that I should never fight and only run away or tell a teacher. This never helped but only made matter worse. When i started fighting back, the bullies started leaving me alone.

How do you stop an Internet bully?

You don't. You laugh at them. Teach your kids not to give a rats ass what anyone says online and to just ignore it. They cant hurt you.

Or give them a safe outlet. I propose a website called Bullies Online where internet bullies can go and say nasty things about anyone they want to. It will just show the world how stupid they are.

This in conjunction with a website called Murder Online where you can verbally assassinate anyone you want to. These serve two purposes. It gives the users a safe outlet to spout off at the mouth and a public record of possible real life intentions in case anything does happen because of some mentally challenged individuals.

Get somebody bigger to whoop their ass

Originally posted by OpinionatedB


Jesus said if you are slapped (hit) on the one cheek offer him your other....

This has not one thing to do with being a pacifist, or being against self defense... Romans (who were the people policing the Jewish community at the time) hit slaves or non-Romans with the back of their hand in a downward fashion.....

But if they hit (slapped) another Roman, they did it with the front of their hand open handed, straight across....

What Jesus was saying to the people "force the Roman to treat the Jew as an equal, in any and every possible way". This was about equality and not about being bullied or hit

edit on 29-5-2012 by OpinionatedB because: (no reason given)

Likewise Jesus at one point told his followers to go and buy swords to arm and defend themselves.

Seems religious people often ignore this not taking the whole of the bibles message into account to continue their own agenda. I was brought up like that in a Baptist home, now I know those teachings were wrong and misconstrued.

Originally posted by Domo1

Simple and effective.

But, sadly, illegal

reply to post by starchild10


If your boss fires you for beating the # out of him, sue him for bullying you in the work place and then firing you.


Take his ass to court.


And after its over, kick his ass.


Every time you see him then forth, kick his ass.

God, but people are making this complicated.
You don't have to win the fight, just make sure you inflict a little pain.
You may have to do this 2 times, maybe 3, but
Hitting someone as hard and as many times as you can, whenever they are picking on you will make them look elaewhere for their fun.

Think in terms of wasps and flies. You can kill both easily, but no one bothers messing with wasps while all sorts of people pull the wings off flies.

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest
Hello ATS,

There is an increase in bullying behavior, it would seem. Part of the problem undoubtedly stems from difficult times around us, but bullying was always there.

We seem to focus a lot on individual cases, etc., as there are many dimensions to this: be it child, or an adult, the same phenomenon under different names.

Detecting a bully is rather easy, if not patently obvious. Some would claim they are psychopaths, some would say they are lost souls, some would claim that bullies are victims themselves.

The question remains: how do you stop a bully?

What do you think?

Cheers!

You beat them up. No, seriously... that's what you do. A bully only bullies because he thinks he is tough. Show him he isn't tough anymore and voila, bully problem over.

Humiliation is not the way to do it though... The only way a bully can learn is for him to be bullied harder. I know in 2012 you have to worry if your kid is gonna get locked up or thrown out of school, but seriously... this is really the only reliable way.

I had a bully problem when I was a kid, I was 110lbs soak and wet, it wasn't until I knocked out a 215lbs football player in highshcool that I was never bullied again. That's when I learned why I was a target for being bullied, it's because I allowed it. That simple.

There is no amount of parental oversight that can prevent a child from being bullied by another child. They're can only be avoidance or standing ground. You can't change schools, because the child will still be a target for being bullied, so it'll have the same problems in the new school.

It really means that the child in retrospect to the other kids is not sociable. You can remain that way and be a goof ball or you can learn how to be sociable. If you have a kid being bullied ask yourself a few questions...

How do I dress my child. Does he dress like everyone else or am I buying him cheap thrift store/clothes that are out of style.

Is your child good in groups? If not why?

Am I a "No" type of parent, over protective? Does my child get to do what the average child gets to do, or do I forbid most of it?

What do the other kids say when they pick on him? If they are making fun of his shoes, or his glasses, or his haircut... or his weight, or is it smell... do they get physical? If so, how is your kid reacting. You have to look for corrections if they are indeed tangible things that make him a target.

A lot of the times a child gets picked on because of bad habits with their parents parenting.

I.E.

From my own experience being bullied, I was born in 86, so when I got bullied it was in the 90's but it was largely because my parents dressed me like it was the 80's still. Sweat pants, large rimmed frames on my glasses, a comb over with a part, etc....

If they would of looked at what other kids were wearing and bought clothes that fit in appearance wise most of my early bullying would have never happened.

My later bullying was cause by a lack of social development since I didn't have many friends when I was younger. I was mostly hanging out alone or with one of 2 kids.

Social development is important, it's not something that should be overlooked as a parent.

I also got bullied as a kid, because the opportunities I had to hang out with other kids were denied by my parents. "You can't cross the street so you can't go." Every other kid was crossing streets and walking blocks to friends houses, yet I always had to have a ride which meant only when it was convenient to get one. I wasn't allowed to go to parks without parental supervision either... so most kids would go play baseball after school, and I couldn't go to the field because there was no dedicated parent.

This is being super nanny. This stuff doesn't fly, it deprives your child of the experience he needs at the age he's developing his most basic social skills.

If your kid is 10, let him go play baseball. If your worried about him, check on him without him knowing, take a drive around the block to make sure he's really playing baseball. Don't tell him he can't go. After school activities are just as important as in school ones, all the brains in the world won't help you come time to get a job if people don't like you because you are anti-social.

I am intrinsically an introvert.... I am anti-social, but I learned how to pretend that I'm not... and if your kid isn't social, you have to teach him how to fake it. It's important come time for him to enter the Real World™

Originally posted by starchild10

Originally posted by Mnemicrsl
reply to post by survivaloftheslickest

 

A quick right jab to the left eye. It's worked for me in the past. Heck I'll even do it again.


2nd line.

A prime example of the pointlessness of such a general thread.
That approach might work for someone in the street, I doubt it would work if it was your boss (except get you in the dole queue).
Too many types of bullying.
Too many different situations.
The OP needs to be specific.

If your boss is bullying you and you want it to stop, find a new job. Pretty simple. If you are old enough to work, you are old enough to never be bullied again in your life. If your boss is "bullying" you and he's not hitting you or anything... does that even qualify as being bullied? If he hits you, put him in jail. I mean how is this even an issue? Do you propose that there are people out there that work that can't take their boss making a little joke about how goofy their laugh is? I mean seriously.