Your opinion about edating

I want to know everyone's opinion about edating. Without actually meeting eachother in real life. Do you think it's sad because it seems like they can't get a boyfriend/girlfriend in real life? Or do you think it's perfectly normal? When I was 16 I had a relationship with a girl from america, I'm from europe. Even though I never met her in real life, I really liked her, I enjoyed chatting with her and that sort of stuff. When was 18 I just had a relationship with a girl from school. I think there's no difference between the two except you can't kiss/cuddle your girl- boyfriend over the internet haha. I just want your personal opinion about this.

-Crash :]

reply to post by Crashyy


Internet romances help to fill the emotional void until the real thing comes along sometimes.
There is nothing wrong with it, but always remember, you could lose contact at any time, so don't let your heart go fully. Also, be truthful, especially with internet relationships. It is to easy to lie and become something you are not, so stay true to yourself, and you never know, that internet lover could end up being the real thing eventually.
I had my heart broken a few times online when I was single, but I was playing the sims online, so that was just kind of a part of the game...

I was on a forum for J-Pop (Japanese), anime and manga fans once. There, I met a friend, who I added to Facebook. Via this person, I then met a girl. The girl and I started chatting. She lived in Springfield, Missouri, and I lived in southern Sweden. After a while she admitted she was falling in love with me. I told her I felt the same way. We broke up after a few months, but after a while, we got back together, so to speak.

And now, I'm sitting in Springfield, Missouri, a cold beer in my hand, and a pretty girl on my left side. I'll let you read between the lines.

Edit to add: I should add, I only think edating works if you have an honest intention of one day meeting in person.

When I was kid I had a pen pal in Puerto Rico. This was before the internet. I don't really see a difference between the two except that the messages get to each other faster. I wouldn't really consider this e-dating though. You're just having a friendship with someone. Dating implies that there is a relationship and you can't have a relationship with someone if you don't see them in real life.

There's just something about the internet that keeps things more impersonal somehow. ( Unless you're REALLY good with words of course ) You can pour out your guts to someone and really show your emotions and they can reciprocate by sending their condolences, words of comfort or show you their emotions so you know they feel the same way, but nothing can replace that good ole' human touch IMO.

Personally I think it's harmless as long as you don't think it's a substitute for the real thing.

reply to post by Crashyy


the pro - you can develop a sound communication and connect with other people better. The fact that you would have a good chance of finding someone who was compatible to you and that you liked there personality.

the con- most solid relationships need a physical component.

I don't see anything wrong with edating. I know people who have hooked up that way. I didn't even have internet the last time I dated so I have no idea what it's like now.

crap that makes me sound old.... I'm not

IMO people that even consider edating probably need to take a break from the comp and go experience real life and real personal relationships. Any persona displayed online is more a half truth and its a waste of time getting to know someone as they wish they were rather than meeting someone who is real and not living a lie online.

reply to post by Gauss


I used to live near Springfield but have never been to Sweden. I have been to Europe and can tell you something you already know. There is a vast difference in cultures. I hope things work out for you man. Love knows no boundaries. I think I get your point too. Starting a relationship online is one thing, but you have to step it up to the next level if you're serious about it.

I met my husband through the internet. When one is in high school or college, the opposite sex is pretty easy to meet in person. Once you get older, where are you supposed to meet a partner if you're single, especially if you have children?

At work? No, most work relationships are frowned upon, because if y'all break up, the drama gets into the workplace and disrupts everything. At a bar? How intelligent is it to meet somebody when you both are tipsy, or even wasted? What are the odds of meeting people when going about your daily routine? Slim to none.

Online dating is a direct way to meet other people who are also looking for somebody. Just like meeting somebody face to face, it is always wise to be cautious until you get to know them better. It's just another way to get together.

I would never have met my wonderful husband without online dating, so for me, it worked out very well.

reply to post by Taupin Desciple


Haha, yeah, it's very different from Sweden. *Cough*Lotsofchurches*Cough*

Anyways, the reason we originally broke up in the middle of our relationship was because neither she nor I could see me going to the US to hook up with her, and she couldn't come to Sweden since she had a kid. Then when I was in the Army, I had some kind of awakening, and next thing you know, I was on a German airplane showing dubbed episodes of How I met your mother, on my way to Springfield.

So, yeah...if you have an honest intention of meeting IRL, then go for it. If not, I hate to say it, but I don't think a digital relationship without physical contact can work.

And thanks for the good luck, Taupin!

Originally posted by Gauss
reply to post by Taupin Desciple

 

Haha, yeah, it's very different from Sweden. *Cough*Lotsofchurches*Cough*

You are in the Bible belt

Best way, ever, to filter out the "chemistry" aspect of a relationship. E-dating gives you the time to learn about a person, without going on dates, and actually realize you have more in common (or not) than if you were to date in the traditional method.

I highly recommend E-dating. Not only do you save money, but you get to know a person's personality, and you are not all wrapped up in the hormonal aspect of kissing, holding hands, and rolling in the hay.

I agree with Fission, us older folk don't go out to bars. We have kids. I also met my current wife "over" the internet, in a blogging community. 10 years later, it's too late to admit mistakes, but we are still married and at the least I can say we are very good friends. The spark has kinda fizzled, but I do respect her for her wisdom.

The internet gives you the ability to "meet" someone, talk, and decide whether to pursue it further. You get to "meet" many more people than you could ever do in your particular local. It's a win-win. Flirt, chat, email, and move along if you are not happy. Once you meet someone in person, well, that's the end of all things.

reply to post by Druid42


I disagree, sir! Meeting the person is the *beginning* of all things, if you know what I mean.

E-dating is fine if the goal is to eventually plan to meet... otherwise, it is like going to the Golden Corral Buffet and just sitting there, not eating... or going to a strip club...all the build up with no follow through.

I actually met my wife online... we corresponded for a few months...then decided to meet. Four months later, we got maried and have been happily married for 11 years now... How about that?

The e-date part does a good job of cutting out all the BS of dating and wasted time and money...

It really sucks going out to eat and meeting a stranger in a public place and 5 minutes into the date you realize this was a definite mistake.. their hobbies are collecting dryer lint and making mosaics from maccaroni and dry beans. E-dating is a good way of filtering and cutting out the crap.

reply to post by Crashyy


Edating is fine, but only if the goal is to meet soon in REAL life.
Otherwise, you have a "virtual" relationship, and it's all an illusion and no better than an online roleplaying game...as each of you are playing a "character" you've created that may, or may not, be the real you.

well the way i see it you can start a relationship over computer that is how i met the lady i am going to marry but it is only the start of a relationship in order for it to really work you need to get together.
there is only one way to make sure your right for each face to face which is scary thought at first but if you are truthful from the start then you will be ok.

reply to post by Crashyy


If you didn't meet in real life..you didn't have a real relationship. You only met the online personas of each other and had a virtual..but not real relationship. edating is a great tool..but the goal should be for it to become a real..not virtual relationship...in my opinion.

Sorry for double post.