I have a question for women

Why do you tend to make a big fuss out of nothing? No, seriously, I have encountered women, who take huge offense over the smallest things, it is ridiculous.

Long story short, was friends with this girl who stopped talking to me because supposedly I was "stalking" here. Now, my definition of stalking is, someone who follows another around, trying to gain information about them.

I did neither ^

So what happened? well, first she took me off Facebook because I was deactivating mine over and over, Why I was doing this, well its simple, have issues to deal with and facebook is a distraction so I forced 24 hour lock outs so that I dont have to enter and work on what I needed to work on,

After she took me off she had me blocked, guy adds me I add him thinking it was some other guy with a flower of life on his display. I had taken a screenshot prior when the friend request was recieved by me, but still the whole notion of arguing over friend adds is ridiculous.

ALSO keep in mind, she had ALL my passwords to ALL my accounts, I had NOTHING to hide. And still dont, She ended the friendship and now is spreading rumors about me.


Now my question to you women. Why do you take things to this level? I know not every women is the same, but you have to admit, the great majority argue over the smallest of things.

Even make up -.-.

Not ALL women do this...

Just like men, there are a lot of women who would rather be right than be happy. Pretty simple, and more than pretty annoying coming from either side of the gender fence. Revenge also resides on both sides of the same fence. Go figure.

reply to post by RisenAngel77


hmmm..I'd have to hear her version before I could give you an honest answer.

Some people(men included) can get very sensitive, and take certain jokes, actions, or remarks to heart.

Hope you can talk it out with her, and resolve the issue with some honesty.

Good luck, and I hope your friendship gets patched up.

Take her out. And I don't mean to dinner.

In my opinion, I think both of you need to grow up and just go your separate ways.

Well, the fact that your "friend" had all your social media account passwords is a little weird, isn't it? I never give anyone my passwords. I don't have anything to hide but like most people feel like I deserve my privacy. I agree, women are totally crazy (yes I am a woman) but so are men lol

reply to post by RisenAngel77


Don't worry about it.
You do you.

You gotta remember that there's alot of stuff going about in a womans mind.
And women react emotionally first and then rationalize things.
She probably had a bad experience before and based upon the emotions she had from that prior experience acted the way she did.

Originally posted by Malynn
Well, the fact that your "friend" had all your social media account passwords is a little weird, isn't it? I never give anyone my passwords. I don't have anything to hide but like most people feel like I deserve my privacy. I agree, women are totally crazy (yes I am a woman) but so are men lol

There is a reason for it, but I wont say all details out of respect for her, however it wasnt the first time she assumed things of me. She did it 2 times before out of fear, she would later find out she was wrong and apologize. So what I did was give her access to all my online activity so she wouldn't have to worry. All she had to do was log unto my account.

I will say this though, she had past trauma with guys and she did have extreme fear of being betrayed or abandoned. My act was noble so that she didnt have anything to fear. hell I even went as far as give her my social security number! And I told her:


If I had bad intentions I wouldn't have given this to you, for I know that you can easily use this against me.

I showed trust. She never showed any despite my efforts.

But anywhom, the reason for the post was just to ask women the question as to why, they make a small thing seem to huge. Im not trying to prove my innocence here nor do I care, I got tired of defending myself and i lost friendships because of her fear.

Luckily enough, I have the proof I need to clear my name with mutual friends, but others weren't open minded and blind fully chose a side without going over the facts.

reply to post by Skewed


I was thinking the same thing..sounds like OP is a bit immature..I get a real laugh out of the whole facebook "friend" & "unfriend" thing..a bunch of children fighting in the playground of FB....I'm so glad I don't have a FB account..

Originally posted by Neopan100
reply to post by Skewed

 

I was thinking the same thing..sounds like OP is a bit immature..I get a real laugh out of the whole facebook "friend" & "unfriend" thing..a bunch of children fighting in the playground of FB....I'm so glad I don't have a FB account..

Um, I wasn't the one who started it? The one that was bickering over facebook was her. I on the other hand agree with your post. As I stated in the OP, arguing over face book was ridiculous.

face book, there are not enough shrinks in this world, to fix the many issues people have, and the cure is as screwed up as the solution, OMG we are doomed.

Originally posted by RisenAngel77

Originally posted by Neopan100
reply to post by Skewed

 

I was thinking the same thing..sounds like OP is a bit immature..I get a real laugh out of the whole facebook "friend" & "unfriend" thing..a bunch of children fighting in the playground of FB....I'm so glad I don't have a FB account..

Um, I wasn't the one who started it? The one that was bickering over facebook was her. I on the other hand agree with your post. As I stated in the OP, arguing over face book was ridiculous.

But as it seems, you keep throwing fuel on the fire just to get a reaction from her.
Obviously there are trust issues from one side or the other, which does not work.
I still stand behind my original comment.

reply to post by Skewed


How am I throwing fuel into the fire? How am I trying to get a reaction from her?
I mentioned my story as a metaphor, it's to compare one event with another. Which lead to a question for women, to understand why.women react strongly over small things.

No, sorry I wont stay silent while my name is beaten to the ground. If I have proof and hold the truth, I will use it in my defense.

reply to post by RisenAngel77


and therein lies the immaturity---let it go. The people who believe the rumors aren't worth keeping around. The ones that know you, won't believe a word of it. Let it go man...From this point on this person should be non-existent in your daily activity.

BTW--for someone complaining that women make a big deal out of nothing--you are sure doing a good job of it yourself.-----pot meet kettle..

Originally posted by Neopan100

No, sorry I wont stay silent while my name is beaten to the ground. If I have proof and hold the truth, I will use it in my defense.

reply to post by RisenAngel77

 

and therein lies the immaturity---let it go. The people who believe the rumors aren't worth keeping around. The ones that know you, won't believe a word of it. Let it go man...From this point on this person should be non-existent in your daily activity.

BTW--for someone complaining that women make a big deal out of nothing--you are sure doing a good job of it yourself.-----pot meet kettle..

edit on 25-5-2012 by Neopan100 because: (no reason given)

Well you do have a point, but anywho, Would still like to get back on the main idea, Want to read what other women have to say regarding the question and possible reasons for such reactions. It is as I stated, for the purpose of understanding what triggers this and why.

I am female...but can't really answer your question...I learned a long time a go to just let things roll..I guess that's why I have been married for 16 years now. I don't have many problems with anything..people that want drama are not allowed in my life..Conflict takes too much energy..I have two small children that I have to keep up with so I have to conserve as much of that as I possibly can...

Just learn to take it easy..don't allow people to get you fired up..do everything to the best of your ability and call it a day..

reply to post by RisenAngel77


Some women are just more sensitive than others. Some men can deal with that, some can't. Sounds like you can't so you'd be better off not dealing with her. Let the men...............who can see through them deal with them.

reply to post by RisenAngel77

Well you do have a point, but anywho, Would still like to get back on the main idea, Want to read what other women have to say regarding the question and possible reasons for such reactions. It is as I stated, for the purpose of understanding what triggers this and why.

First off you can't lump all women in one category, same as men. I've seen men act overly sensitive, over the silliest of things.

If you have been a friend to her, you should know what triggers certain reactions, if you've been paying attention.

I would say that you most likely know the answer , and perhaps aren't being honest with yourself about it?

Its very hard to give you straight answers when we only get your version, and it could be edited at that.

Why don't you get her to come on here and give us her side.

Originally posted by WhisperingWinds
reply to post by RisenAngel77

 

If you have been a friend to her, you should know what triggers certain reactions, if you've been paying attention.

I would say that you most likely know the answer , and perhaps aren't being honest with yourself about it?

Its very hard to give you straight answers when we only get your version, and it could be edited at that.
Why don't you get her to come on here and give us her side.

First I apologize, I shouldn't have generalized it to all women, I am aware both men and women tend to have similar tendencies, however I base my statistics on personal encounters. But as I stated, I used my story as a metaphor to ask a question, the question is the topic, not the story. I did not intend to make this a thread about me and her, but rather get opinions based on the question.

No, I didnt know what triggered it, I have theory's and assumptions from analyzing, but your guess would be as good as mine. As for getting her to say her side of the story? I would actually love to hear her side of the story, in fact I wanted to hear it, unfortunately she ignored me for a whole month, spreading rumors, I sent messages didnt get a reply till about a month later.

All she said was something about me draining her energy, that I was a Psi Vampire (because I ranted too much about personal problems) she said that I did nothing wrong, but she couldn't be friends with me which is fine, I can accept that. hell wish her well and have a nice life then.

But what I cant accept is her talking things to people and turning them against me saying things that aren't true. There is more to this story, much much more, but i'd rather not. I posted screenshots on my profile warning people saying "If someone tells you something about me, THIS is what happened" some of the mutual friends we have know the truth as I did forward conversations I had with her proving that the rumors were lies.

It is hard to be a friend to someone who always had their guard up and always criticized you for nearly everything you do or say. She was just a "friend" and she knew very well I was getting to know someone.

(Though that never went anywhere thanks to her -.-, but im too annoyed to talk about that)

reply to post by RisenAngel77


I'm sorry if I reacted with skepticism , its just very difficult to try and give an honest assessment of a personal situation like this without really knowing the details.

I missed your post that explained a bit more, and I'm sorry this "friendship" turned out this way for you.

As for your question, different people experience different situations in life ,contributing to how they react to future situations.Sounds like your friend had some trust issues, which is sad but understandable if she was previously hurt.

The best advice I can give you is to take the high road, after telling others that she has spoken untruthfully about you. Eventually your true character will speak for itself, and in the long run, its more important for you to like your self for what you know you are, than for what others think of you.

Humans can be complicated to deal with, and dealing with them through mostly text communications, as this world does , makes it even more complicated.

Facebook seems to be a breeding ground for relationship problems, misunderstandings , and hurt. It might be a good idea to go out and try to establish relationships in life through human contact, if that is what you are looking for.