Is human monogamy , natural?

reply to post by RadarOReilly

My husband and I are strictly monogamous with our love for each other. However, we freely and openly explore sexual activities with others (both together and separately). That may not work well for everyone, but it's perfect for us

Are you saying your a swinger?

Yes monogamy is natural in humans at least in the short term. The female sex organs determine this, as it is impossible for a male to just look and see if they are ovulating. Add to this that child development requires years of investment and it becomes even more clear. Women and children are just built to require a time investment from the male.

You can debate just how much of a natural time investment is required, i'd probably put it around 8 to 10 years. At that point the child will have developed enough to be considered as an asset by a new prospective mate. But it is not difficult to see how lifelong monogamy would become the norm naturally by creating more children and extending that initial investment as time went on. Promiscuity on behalf the female in a natural setting also would not be an idea situation in the least. It is only because of the state of our medical care that death in childbirth is so incredibly low. Having a baby would be a pretty risky prospect and not one taken lightly.

Then you have to figure in sexually transmitted disease, which in many cases can not only destroy a woman's ability to reproduce but also lead to death in both sexes. There are plenty of natural reasons for it.

Originally posted by AthlonSavage
reply to post by RadarOReilly

 

My husband and I are strictly monogamous with our love for each other. However, we freely and openly explore sexual activities with others (both together and separately). That may not work well for everyone, but it's perfect for us

Are you saying your a swinger?

If it were 1965, yes. We're just very open.

reply to post by RadarOReilly

If it were 1965, yes. We're just very open.

Ill take that as a yes. That kind of relationship suits people better.

Yes, I'm absolutely positive it's natural for humans. I'm not a religious person either.

I was thinking about it recently. I call it the "Ghost Theory of Love." Now my theory not only explains why it's natural to be monogamous, but also why so many people are NOT monogamous today.

First off, anyone saying it's not natural has simply been corrupted by our extremely corrupt society. It's the cool thing to say, but it's flat out wrong. I'll get back to this later.

My theory rests on one assumption: we are genetically "programmed" to seek that perfect match. We are also programmed to seek mates until we find that one. This drive is why our species has evolved to be so advanced. Because we don't rest until we find that one, who is evolutionally best for us.

Let's take a look at the current state of marriage. People talk about how the divorce rate is so high. But that's because people get married when they shouldn't! Because we're programmed to keep looking until we find that one. We're especially programmed to not stay with someone who's not right for us. This is NOT the same as being naturally polygamous. We all naturally want to be monogamous!

So why do people have sex with so many people? Well what happened 1000's of years ago? Does this theory mean that people didn't have sex often? Not at all. But suppose a couple had a kid back then, and they realized things wouldn't work out. They'd just leave the kid somewhere and go their separate ways!

The reason so many people are so promiscuous is because the urge to find the one, has been corrupted. People don't realize what the urge really is. We don't want to bang many people, we just want to find the right one to bang.

I believe it's completely impossible for our species to have reached the point we have if polygamy was the natural way.

reply to post by nixie_nox

It's natural... It's just not natural for everybody, as this thread shows. In humans I think it is a very rare thing, if you were to remove the boundaries set in place then the majority of humans would not be monogamous, and would probably not even be capable of that, unless they forced themselves to be that. It really all depends on what you call it, the same words have different meaning, and those meanings are in different categories.

For instance some place love and sex in the same category, so if you covet one you must so the other. And some do not, and they may love each other but will have sex with other people and such etc and consider that natural, were as others would not, and all of that is toward different degrees to different people. And some would not equate it at all, or its all in separate categories in there heads and in there particular societal structure they life in.

It really is not a overall broad stroke of the brush with one all encompassing answer, but again to answer your question...It's natural...But only in a small minority, and for the rest. Well It just depends on what and whom your talking about, and what they and you would consider natural, because pretty much everything can be considered natural to somebody else. In general, most things are pretty obvious, people just like to muddy up there waters. But no matter what they do, they will end up leaning toward there natural inclinations and toward those people anyways.