So you just shot an alien in your house... now what?

Fun Topic! I wouldn't kill it, unless it was going to hurt someone in my family. The dog would rush out from under the bed and grab it by the ankle. Well no, she would just bark hysterically at it. Mean while someone would hit it with a baseball bat, or spray with cyote spray, or the husband would shoot it. I think I would rather talk to alien visitor about the universe personally. I don't need a negative energy blood stain in my bedroom.

Anyways with a dead alien: I would photograph it with all the cameras, video cameras, phone cameras, etc.. .Post pictures on face book, ats, ebay. Plug in freezer unit in garage, Take the survival canned food out of it, take the shelves out and freeze the body. Put alien up for sale on ebay ... If the Government wants it they need to buy it at fair market value. Then I would take the money and travel to all the places I never see from the kitchen sink and clothes washer. I would also invite all neighbors, friends, and coworker over for a viewing and to photograph. I believe this sort of thing should not be secret from the public. We have a right to know our own reality.

You guys who would like to see what E.T. tastes like may want to think a little harder.

(The cartoon is xkcd.com. As long as I tell you that he's cool with me posting his stuff.)

reply to post by Ilyich


Once you went public, the government would seize the body citing national security and/or potential biological hazards. It wouldn't matter if you were on CNN or not. The only thing the media spotlight would do would be to keep you from "disappearing", and establish you as the person responsible for the find, thereby granting you the book/movie Rights. They would possibly quarratine you for having contact with it. If you stored the body and let some time go by before you disclosed, you could prove then that you suffered no effects from contact, and they wouldn't have much reason to confine you.

I would take pictures/video, get multiple blood/tissue sample, and have these items stored in a secure location apart from where I live. I would have copies of this material, and secure a reputable lawyer. With the lawyer's help, I would choose a media outlet to contact. I would strongly consider doing it through ATS, Stanton Freidman, Jesse Ventura, or all 3. I would perhaps have some of the DNA and tissue samples distributed to some universities and reputable independent researchers so that the DNA database would not be completely controlled by the government. I would hire a ghost writer on 'spec", and get my story established ASAP, then make the TV rounds...but I would refuse to grant an interview to Faux News, or any other media outlet that Mr. Murdock owns, LOL.......

After I got my cash, it would be all about the beach house around Newport Beach.......I'd milk it for all it was worth...conventions, etc.....hell, I would make a career out of being "That Guy That Killed The Alien"........

I think we have a pretty good sample size of responses here, and I'm honestly a little surprised at the high percentage of people who go right to "I'd make money". They think it through,too, with all the COYA steps in place. Not that I'm judging, this is a hard ol' world. It's just that on a site like this I would have expected people to be a little less...how to put it...business as usual.

The next most common response (I didn't actually count) was people going "I shoot it? No I don't!" That's me.
I'm all for "what ifs" but I can't put myself in a situation that I would never bring about. It slaps you right out of whatever suspension of disbelief you were building up in order to play along. It was reassuring to see so many people react that way.

Again, I was skimming more than counting, but it seemed as though we had a split between "alien quietly disappears" and "I'm taking his ship", with more than a little crossover between the two. And I have to confess if I did kill the thing (or it just dropped dead of a huge alien brain anurism, yeah,that's it) this is the way I'd go.

You people who would even think about eating it...you're nominees for the Darwin Award.

I'd seriously put the alien under my bed covers and sleep with it everyday.

Lol na, I'd probably do the same to OP.

Well, if i did this, honestly first thing i would do is completely destroy the body. No evidence, no pictures or samples. Burn it, cut it up, get rid of it. No noble stories about human kind, people are too stupid, if they were not there to watch me shoot it they will not believe. I honestly would care about the public.... I know it happened, thats all that matters to me. But i would probably post up at another location away from my house where i can access a remote cam and keep an eye on what happens to my house after words. I would only tell a hand full of people.

one of a few options

I impale the corpse in my back yard as a warning for other aliens never to fuk with me

II if not kill hold the little jackazz for ransom lets say a time stopping device which makes time stop but i wander around freely. so many world dictators will be pantsed, dressed in drag, handcuffed to eachother in "funny" positions(remember the movie men at work with sheen and estivez?)

III ease the hammer back, say "boy you startled me" and ask if they can synthisize some hashnish for me

I'd get it stuffed and sit him on my mantle piece, maybe even skin him and make a nice coat.

Originally posted by SpaceCowboy78
This thread is mainly for fun but after being an off-and-on ATS reader for some years, I've often thought of this subject.

Say you wake at 2am from your slumber to find you are being visited by a large headed, little green or grey man. You get startled, pull out ol' 9mm from your nightstand drawer and shoot the little fella between the eyes. You go up to it and confirm that it is indeed an E.T. and it is indeed dead. Now have to figure out what to do.

Now I know some of you will say that it would never happen because they would paralyze you or whatever but lets say their paralyzer ran out of AA batteries. In other words, you find yourself in this situation. What do you do?

Would you call the cops? A news crew? Take lots of pics and post them online? Contact the gov?

What do you think would happen to you, would people believe you?

I honestly don't know what I'd do!

Let's have some fun

Now, that is the difference between U.S and U.K culture. Here in the U.K if we get "startled" we put the kettle on, not shoot someone to death.

First thing I would do is make sure it's dead. Poke it in the eye with a stick like a deer. Second thing is to remove its clothing and jewelry and any mechanical devices present. I would take its personal effects and take them at least 20 miles away and put them in a public locker, in case of tracking devices or some self-destruct system(like Predator). -People still might notice a tactical nuke detonation, even if this is Detroit. Then, put the body on Ice in my Deer-Meat Freezer. Then I would call CNN, and everybody else and tell them I shot a genuine Bigfoot, and I have dead body proof Sasquatch exists. No Government ACRONYM Agencies would clue in on a Bigfoot Claim, and ignore it as a drunk, a hoaxer, or a scam. Then announce a morning public unveiling of my Bigfoot discovery. I would put him on my ATV trailer and take him to a very public place for his "Big Show". By the time It went out over all the airwaves that it was actually an Extra-Terrestrial Corpse and not Bigfoot, it would be too late.

You know what I'd do? Make a pot of Earl Grey. Get it?

reply to post by jamdan


you limeys would put the kettle on during a home invasion.

reply to post by rockoperawriter


But is it? What if it's the one and only envoy sent on a diplomatic mission all the way from Aldebaran with completely honourable intentions? Surely the last thing we want to do is blow a hole in it old boy. Now put the gun down, sit down and have some tea.

Originally posted by Mianeye

Sell the penis to the Chinese, for big bucks

edit on 18-5-2012 by Mianeye because: (no reason given)

the winner.

Originally posted by wdkirk

I live minutes from a National Guard Armory. I would take it there. Let the Gov'ment cover it up.

why the hell would you let the govt cover it up? why are you even here?

*sticking with OP*
I know! I'll go through it's belongings, find a funny looking medical device, revive it, then pull out the universal translator, apologize for shooting it, then have a really long conversation, get an invitation to his space ship, travel the galaxy and have an AWESOME time!

reply to post by jamdan


i'll holster it. if he s looking at me with a hungry look, hissing, and the drool from it dissolves my bedding its fair game and possibly janet reno

if it's a clumsy little grey fella who knows my language. screw tea i've got some real nice lager. oh youre from alderan? the emperors doing what? wow that's been going around. the empire has been shafting us little guys for literally ever. let me get a few of da guys.

add to edit you gents can take it on the chin with style s+f

Originally posted by DarthMuerte

Originally posted by seeker1963
reply to post by SpaceCowboy78

 

I would skin em and dip em in some batter and deep fry em! From what I hear, they taste just like chicken! : )

You beat me to it. I sure as hell would not report it to any "authorities".

It's not the reporting that matters, it's how you report it that matters. For example, my wife has been annoying me recently so I decided to kill her. But first, using a needle, I pricked my neck twice. I then stabbed her in the heart with a wooden stake. As predicted, instead of arresting me, the police simply congratulated me on killing a vampire.

Originally posted by Vitruvius
I think we have a pretty good sample size of responses here, and I'm honestly a little surprised at the high percentage of people who go right to "I'd make money". They think it through,too, with all the COYA steps in place. Not that I'm judging, this is a hard ol' world. It's just that on a site like this I would have expected people to be a little less...how to put it...business as usual.

I don't believe they are thinking it through. Once alien visitors have been proven true, what do you think will happen to our fiat currencies?