Moms and Dads…‘Mind Tactics‘

What…’ Mind Methods ‘have you used on your kids to try to control them between the tender ages of 4 and 15, because we all know after 15...your child is becoming more distance from you and worried about their little ugly, rude, and obnoxious friends, and… who is freaking popular and who is in love with whom?

The parents that raised us all had unusual and made up… sci fi, thriller ,drama tactics that were used, and most likely passed from one generation to the next.

What tactics did you learn from your parents and does it work today with today’s kids?

Please, no ‘Time Out ‘methods, it doesn’t work!

Get your little behind in time out before I give you a spanking.:

Oh no ! ,not the dreaded time out'

This is a great idea for a thread.

At home, we suspend all electronics (pc, video games, tv). Also put them to do chores at home. That combo works like a charm.

Originally posted by Trueman
This is a great idea for a thread.

At home, we suspend all electronics (pc, video games, tv). Also put them to do chores at home. That combo works like a charm.

(pc, video games, tv).

Thats a little extreme...LOVE IT,LOL

We use standard discipline methods of removing privledges when my son is naughty (no xbox, no tv, no sweets, etc) however there is one thing that I do differently from my parents.

Whenever I was naughty as a child I was sent to my room with no explanation or reason. After what felt like ages my parents would come into my room and ask if was ready to apologise. More often than not I said sorry without really knowing why. Reflecting back I can see now exactly what I was doing that was naughty but for a child it is not always the clear.

I rarely have to raise my voice to my son and we have a system of 'cool down'. Whenever he gets too unruly I send him to his room and tell him to come back downstairs when he has calmed down. When he finally emerges, still obviously angry and being punished, I sit him down and we go through exactly what has transpired and I explain why he has been punished. I always finish with "Do you think that i'm being fair?" If I get an answer of "No" then we discuss the reasons why he feels i'm not being fair and this continues until we reach a point where he can see and understand why he has been punished.

Of course my son is nearly 10 so it is a lot easier to do this with an older child than a toddler.

Originally posted by MattC
We use standard discipline methods of removing privledges when my son is naughty (no xbox, no tv, no sweets, etc) however there is one thing that I do differently from my parents.

Whenever I was naughty as a child I was sent to my room with no explanation or reason. After what felt like ages my parents would come into my room and ask if was ready to apologise. More often than not I said sorry without really knowing why. Reflecting back I can see now exactly what I was doing that was naughty but for a child it is not always the clear.

I rarely have to raise my voice to my son and we have a system of 'cool down'. Whenever he gets too unruly I send him to his room and tell him to come back downstairs when he has calmed down. When he finally emerges, still obviously angry and being punished, I sit him down and we go through exactly what has transpired and I explain why he has been punished. I always finish with "Do you think that i'm being fair?" If I get an answer of "No" then we discuss the reasons why he feels i'm not being fair and this continues until we reach a point where he can see and understand why he has been punished.

Of course my son is nearly 10 so it is a lot easier to do this with an older child than a toddler.

TextIf I get an answer of "No" then we discuss the reasons why he feels i'm not being fair and this continues until we reach a point where he can see and understand why he has been punished.

Thats alot of love and communication and thats whats needed,thanks for your response MattC,i will ask you the same question when he reaches 16,lol.

reply to post by LastProphet527


Oh I fully anticipate more trouble on the horizon. I can already see the starting stages of of a teenager emerging

I think mutual respect is key really. Parents are not infallible and kids, especially these days, are fully aware of that fact. I apologise to him if I have been overly harsh and unfair, and he apologises when he sees he is in the wrong. Hopefully this harmony can continue through and past the teen years

Originally posted by MattC
reply to post by LastProphet527

 

Oh I fully anticipate more trouble on the horizon. I can already see the starting stages of of a teenager emerging

I think mutual respect is key really. Parents are not infallible and kids, especially these days, are fully aware of that fact. I apologise to him if I have been overly harsh and unfair, and he apologises when he sees he is in the wrong. Hopefully this harmony can continue through and past the teen years

and he apologises when he sees he is in the wrong.

What a parent!...and he...apologizes when he's wrong,are you serious !!!! Good job,i see i have a long way to go,and im very serious !

The initial discipline is her phone. She's 12 and that's her lifeline. That's usually to get her to do her chores though.

Other than that........there are no real problems and I don't see any coming up. The x and I talk about that at least.

If you want to call it a mind tactic though, it all comes down to cutting her off from her friends.

Okay, I'll bite, but only briefly.

No matter how good of a parent you are, age 16 is the cut-off point.

I ask the other parents here to validate that. I have two above 16, and 2 below. 16 is the age where you lose touch. It's subtle, at first, because you are best friends, but 16 is about the age of.....

.....Independence! I know it all after that!

It's then that you don't consider them a child, but an equal that's yearning for freedom. They brighten up a bit once they realize their equality.

(A disclaimer: I suppose I was the same exact way when I was that age.)

Removal of privileges and grounding is pretty much the mainstay.

I was much happier getting a quick spanking and then going to watch TV in my room....so for me, taking away the TV would have been a much more severe punishment.

You just have to be thorough though now, with so many methods. Personally, the punishment would be nixing all electronics. Then, as one said, put 'em to work around the house.

Of course, everything is about degrees of punishment and the severity of the infraction.

The biggest thing though...and you have to start when they are babies/toddlers...is THE VOICE.

You have to develop THE VOICE. The tone of voice that tells the kid in NO uncertain terms, that you have now crossed into P'd off land, and things are now serious. Often combined with the THREE NAME AFFIRMATION. If you get both of these, you're in serious trouble.