Five-months since you died

It’s been five-months since you died and I’m still not quite myself. I prefer when it rains outside because then I don’t have to go out. It’s those sunny Sundays I fear which make it so unfair. I sob when I look outside because it’s something we can no longer share. So the drapes are drawn and the blinds are closed so I don’t have to see. I reflect all day the perfect times when it was just you and me. Now these sunny Sundays becomes my pain of miserable irony

I punish myself with regret for all the things I could not do. I held your head, my tired friend, as I desperately tried to help you. It was your eyes that said to me I had to let you go. And I choked on my goodbyes as I knew this was the final show. I carried you in my arms for our final ride and you mustered all your strength just to get inside. We both new it would be the last, we both new it was time to go; I was in no hurry to take you there and I made sure to drive real slow. I remember looking at the sky above, it was a beautiful December day. A day I will never forget, life’s poetic injustice the sunny day when you went away

It’s been five-months since you died and I don’t know what to do. I force myself to never heal, all in honor of you. Our walks, our fun, our silent talks, you brought new life to me. The greatest friend one could ever have, gone so suddenly. But you came back thrice and it was nice as I felt you on my bed. You even snapped in my ear and for a moment I forgot you were dead. I miss you girl, I miss you bad. Nothing could ever prepare for these five-months would be so sad as I just sit and stare.

These sunny Sundays, twisted like a mortal tree. Void of passion and void of life my empty home draining and seeping into me. I close my eyes to see your face and I see you sitting there with all your pride. Longing to enjoy this sunny day with me but I can’t go outside. It’s been five-months and I’m not quite myself since the day you died.

Quinzy 1999-2011

Beautiful dog and writing. I know exactly how you're feeling. June 20, 2003 was the day I had to put my old buddy Orion to sleep, and I'll never forget it.

RIP Quinzy!

reply to post by FlySolo


Normally I do not stop in for these short story threads as I normally do not care to listen to someones ramblings.
I'm glad today that I am not normal.
I read your story eagerly and realized what it was about.
I do like the photo of your angel doggie as the light gives her wings.
Dogs really do bring out the best in us, our best buddies is what they are.
Quinzy, I'm sure you are best buds with my previous doggies and you all sniff each other and run together painlessly, all dogs do go to heaven I'm sure.
R.I.P. Bestest buddy Quinzy!

reply to post by g146541


Thanks to both you and paradox. That pic is my favorite and I didn't notice the wing until you mentioned it. Really makes it my favorite even more now. Sure hope you're right about doggie heaven.

Nice piece flysolo. How about coming back and doing some more stories in this forum?

reply to post by boncho


In all honesty, when I saw Boncho as a reply, I was expecting a backhanded remark. Thanks for not doing that.

I'm not really a short story kind of guy (anymore). My imagination has dwindled as my age increased. But I like to try and write while I'm not a literary type of guy. But your encouragement has encouraged.

reply to post by FlySolo


One of the best threads for a while . I had to have my dog put down last friday and i miss her so much

condolences to your loss .

reply to post by FlySolo


I can make backhanded remarks about almost anything, except writing, as it is an art form. It is the one place where people express themselves and try to navigate the difficult interconnecting tunnels of communication.

Stories are not beliefs, opinions or merely words, (even though they are comprised of such) they are a representation of how we see the world, and they do not ask you to take them at face value.

On the other hand, post something non-fiction (or should I say, non-literary?) and I will happily make an arrogant remark.



But as I said, glad to have read this and hope you come back to write some more, whether it be based off real life or made up with that dwindling supply of creativity you certainly still have but may have misplaced.

Originally posted by denver22
reply to post by FlySolo

 

One of the best threads for a while . I had to have my dog put down last friday and i miss her so much

condolences to your loss .

Last week? geez. I'm more sorry for your loss. It's tough I know. Just don't lock yourself up like I have. Easier said than done.

reply to post by boncho


I appreciate your comments and you have painted more depth about yourself than what I originally thought. Can't take anyone here at face value, lesson learned.

I've been there and I know how painful it is. She was a beautiful dog and had a long life for a large breed.

I have a new rule now about losing a dog (self-determined-rule) which is get another one as soon as possible.
After I lost my dog, the first time I heard myself laugh again was over the antics of the new puppy. It helped so very much.

..........Give it some thought. There are so many good dogs needing to be adopted. I'm sure one would love you, and you would love it.

To say you won't do so out of "respect" is not a good thing. Your wonderful dog has lived it's life, and no longer has it. You still have yours.

You know?

reply to post by FlySolo


I'm not sure how much it would cost, but sometimes doing something in memorial is way for people to pay homage to the ones that have moved on, and also puts them at ease with the passing.

So, I was just thinking, as you have already started with this written work, perhaps continue it with a memorial plaque. It could be placed in your home, outside your home, or maybe even tacked on to a favorite tree of your old pup.


Let's say you took the follow paragraph, and also engraved a picture of the dog.

These sunny Sundays, twisted like a mortal tree. Void of passion and void of life my empty home draining and seeping into me. I close my eyes to see your face and I see you sitting there with all your pride. Longing to enjoy this sunny day with me but I can’t go outside. It’s been five-months and I’m not quite myself since the day you died. Quinzy 1999-2011

In this type of format.

Link





Just an idea.

reply to post by boncho


I wrote a guitar piece and made a memorial video on facebook. It helped

Originally posted by FlySolo
reply to post by boncho

 

I wrote a guitar piece and made a memorial video on facebook. It helped

reply to post by FlySolo


It was sad because before we got her she was used as a football and kicked around and stuff, so we adopted her
she was a jack russell tame as anything but the poor girl would always shake she basically never had gotten over what the previous owners done to her. She also when we had her had lost an eye through a condition then the poor girl started suffering not only with age but also with other illnesses .As we took her to the vets to say our last goodbyes then they gave us the lead to take home we were at a loss as its basically losing one of your family .

reply to post by BellaSabre


Ya I know. I'm just not ready. My building manager got another dog not long after hers had a stroke. I want another dog and have dabbled on craigslist or have considered getting a rescue. I know at least would be enjoying the outdoors here again for sure (Vancouver Canada) but I'm just not ready. But who knows...you're making me think about it again

reply to post by denver22


That's harsh. You too are making me consider getting a rescue. hmmm

A very touching story - thanks for sharing!

Hearing of death is always a wake-up call to be more appreciative, and to create more good memories, because the time is short, especially with our pets.

May you be blessed, and perhaps, one day, find a new comrade and friend.

reply to post by FlySolo




You won't regret adopting a rescue. It will require some effort until you get to know eachother, but will be a blessing to both of you in the end. You reminded me that every day can be precious time spent together...and that it's time for my best friend and I to go for a Sunday walk. Love your OP and the beautiful photo

reply to post by BULLPIN


A very humble thank-you. Go for your walk! I really miss that.