The Iraq War Ruined My Life.

Originally posted by BellaSabre
It's infuriating when we send people to a war, then can't take care of them when they get home. Human beings aren't cut-out for war anymore, what do they expect? Of course there will be problems. There are many kinds of PTSD, but Combat PTSD is the worst.

Your symptoms may never completely go away, but they WILL diminish over time.
Hang in there friend.

You've said it perfect. Humans are not cut out for war anymore. We could do so much better for ourselves. Thank you.

reply to post by usmc0311
Sorry, haven't read all through the thread, but have you looked at vet advocate groups?

A buddy did, helped him get the right level of disability. Don't know where you are, but might be a suggestion.

Originally posted by Jakes51
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Keep up the good fight! Take it day by day. I can tell you the Iraq War has not only drastically changed your life, but my brother's as well. He was a Corpsman with Marines out of Twenty Nine Palms. Was there for the invasion of Iraq and the subsequent occupation serving in Al-Anbar Province. Before he left, my brother was outgoing, positive, and had a very cheerful outlook on the world. He returned a shell of his former self. Very distant, withdrawn, and lives what I would call a Spartan lifestyle. He has not been to the VA, will not talk about it, and largely sticks to himself. My family has tried to be as supportive of him as possible. My brother had him live with his family for awhile to bring some normalcy back into his life, and tried to get him to go to the VA. He would not go, and would find any excuse under-the-sun to avoid it. He is a Veteran as am I. Prior Navy ourselves, but served aboard ships. I hope my brother can take the positive steps you are doing right now, and that one day he can sort things out on a personal level.

Just know that you are not alone, and this experience can ruin your life if you let it. Find some outreach groups with veterans, join the VFW, and do anything you can to unload the baggage you are carrying because all it is doing is weighing you down. Your experiences will be with you until the day comes they throw dirt on you. My grandfather dealt with his emotional traumas from WWII his entire life. He would wake-up from a dead sleep screaming in the middle of the night. Moreover, talking about it with him was mute. Never was there a time when he discussed his experiences at length with any of us. I think talking about it with others that have similar experiences is the best therapy. Don't bother talking to civilians about it, because they will never understand. I would not fault your family either, because they have no idea what you went through. Give them time. There are a lot of Veterans on ATS, and we got your back brother! Semper Fi!

edit on 5-5-2012 by Jakes51 because: (no reason given)

Thank you for sharing, Tell your brother there are countless Marines out there who would lay down their lives in an instant for him. The most important Marine on the battlefield is the Navy Corpsman. I hope he can get some help and I wish him the best. And thank you for your service as well.

Semper Fi.

Originally posted by seabag
reply to post by usmc0311

 

First of all, thank you for your service, Devil Dawg.

S&F

A small part of healing is getting things off your chest so this thread was therapeutic in a way. I think maybe you’re looking at the situation wrong. Never forget that your feelings about the war are your own. Hold your head high. Don’t allow the naysayers and peaceniks to define you. You know more about what went down than those who denounce your service from the safety of their couch. We know why we do what we do. Don’t let them tell you who you are…as Marines, we KNOW who we are.

I was in Iraq in 2003 near the end of my second enlistment. I served in Nasiriyah then Amarah with 2/8. It was a very short, very violent deployment; much more intense than my previous deployment to Bosnia in 1996 or anything in between. Though I initially wanted to be a career Marine, during my second enlistment I decided I had enough of that lifestyle and was honorably discharged in 2004. The feelings we have about our experiences are something WE have to deal with. I’ve found that spending time focusing on my wife, my two young children, my extended family and my career have been enough to help me move on. Your work at the VA may also be good right now though I worry it may keep the war in the forefront of your mind. I preferred to distance myself from it as a means of coping. Everyone is different and you know yourself better than anyone. If you think it will help, go for it!

We’re all different but my advice is to focus on your loved ones…that includes yourself. Don’t listen to the negativity. Negative people are entitled to their opinion but you’re not required to take what they say to heart nor does their opinion hold more weight than your own!

Oorah!

edit on 5-5-2012 by seabag because: (no reason given)

I do think just writing this thread helped. I try to hold my head high, it's just hard when more and more people wake up to the truth and then take that anger out on us. I am glad I still have the self control of A Marine Corps NCO. It has kept me from trouble with people on many occasions. I know you guys had it rough in the invasion. I'm glad you made it through it. If I am correct your unit got into some really heavy stuff in Nasirya. Thank you for the post.

Semper Fi, OORAAH

Originally posted by HangTheTraitors
An alarming quote from a major key figure on this planet. A 'mover and shaker' behind the scenes for a LONG time now:

[color=limegreen]"Military men are dumb, stupid animals to be used as pawns for foreign policy." Henry Kissinger

This is how our military folks are truly viewed. Enough said...

edit on 4-5-2012 by HangTheTraitors because: (no reason given)

In 1974, just before Nixon resigned, my unit was reminded only to follow orders that come through our normal chain of command. Henry Kissinger's name was not mentioned, but that is who everyone was thinking about.

Originally posted by usmc0311
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

First of all thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry you have had those experiences. I have been on Paxil, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and another I cant remember, maybe prozac. They all just made me feel like a sick zombie all the time.

Are you familiar with the medication Clonidine? It's an older med, been available for decades, and is generally used to treat blood pressure. However, Clonidine has recently been used, successfully, in treating PTSD. It soothes the area of the brain affected by PTSD, thereby reducing symptoms. You might want to research Clonidine and consider giving it a try.

This I have just become familiar with recentely through this site.stressproject.org...
I asked the doctor at the VA about it and he claimed to not know a thing and just brushed it off but I am going to find a doctor around here with knowledge of it and possibly give it a try.

I don't keep a journal but I do write alot. Usually end up burning it afterwards but it does help. Again thank you for the info and the support.

Since Clonidine is a blood pressure med, some docs may not feel comfortable prescribing it for PTSD. Apparently thats a fairly new use of the med. Keep looking, though. You'll find a doc who can and will help you.

Hugs to you

Originally posted by AtcGod
I thought you said that you got kicked out for a heart condition.... Did you get paid for getting kicked out early or was it the end of your enlistment and they just wouldn't let you re-enlist? Also did you get medically retired where you get a check for your condition (if it was a result of your time in the military).

The PTSD is where you lost me bro.....and then traumatic brain injury? Sounds like to me you are looking for more moneys from the government......

Sorry...

I didn't get kicked out. I was honorably discharged. I was at a point in my enlistment where it was time to decide wether to reenlist or not. My health made me inelligable and it took some time for the med board to clear my case so I had to extend my contract for a short time to finish the eval board.

I am not medically retired I am a disabled veteran with a rating of 100%. I do recieve disability compensation.. And yes I fought in a war, experienced explosions head trauma and heavy combat causing the tbi and ptsd. I thought that was clear in the op but i guess not for all. Also why would I be writing on ATS in order to recieve more money from the gov. That is just a foolish statement.

Originally posted by knightsofcydonia
Great story too bad it's complete fiction.

Haha. Thank you for making me smile. I could show you a DD-214, My promotion warrants, my medical records, my medals, and awards citations, ect... But I have no need to justify myself to you. If you truly feel this way then strap on some maturity and intelligence and have the guts to ask me like an adult would. If you do I will surely answer any question you may have or any doubts.

Originally posted by GuidedKill
reply to post by usmc0311

 

While I sympathize with your current situation and appreciate your duty more than you know I do however have one point to make.

Just imagine all the DU we left behind for the people of Iraq to live in. Imagine how the war has ruined their lives and there homeland. While we are able to come home and escape the atrocities of war these people are left to pick up the pieces literally. And these are pieces of their lives, homes, even pieces of people....It is sad for everyone involved and probably far worse on their end.

I fully agree. Mesopotamia and the surrounding lands are so beautifull even with the poorness of the culture. It is a shame to know the continuing damage from that stuff. We would catch fish out of the Euphraties river and the scales would slime right off. I feel so terrible for those people as I got to know many families personally while I was embeded with the Iraqi army training them.

Originally posted by Cosmic911
The depleted uranium (DU) issue reminds me of Gulf War Syndrome. No one wants to talk about it or acknowledge it, but it is very real nonetheless.

I'm a veteran. I'm a patriot. I had recently thought about re-enlisting but decided not to. Stories like this, though sad and disappointing, confirm my decision not to go back into the service as a good choice.

Hope you find peace marine.

DU is the dirty little secret of these wars. Reminds me of the agent orange with the Vietnam war.

Thank you for your service and for continuing to be a patriot.

reply to post by usmc0311

I do think just writing this thread helped. I try to hold my head high, it's just hard when more and more people wake up to the truth and then take that anger out on us.

GOOD! ATS can be very therapeutic!

What you described is something all veterans have dealt with to some degree at some point. When people say things just know it’s nothing personal and you shouldn’t internalize it. They hate us all equally so we're in good company!

I am glad I still have the self-control of A Marine Corps NCO. It has kept me from trouble with people on many occasions.

That’s why I distance myself from it (and certain people). I’ve been ready to reach through this screen and throttle a few people on more than one occasion but you just can’t take things people say personally. Most negative comments are made out of ignorance and/or hatred so I just walk away. That is why many of us don’t share our experiences outside of forums like this (can't hurt someone online). When people ask me in person about the Marine Corps I usually tell them I was on the Marine Corps Beach Volleyball Team (fictional) or that I spent 8 years modeling for Marine Corps recruiting posters and commercials (again…ridiculous).

They usually laugh and don’t pursue the issue any further and I don’t elaborate. Just diffuse the situation and move on!

Originally posted by Mourninwoody
I see some members are calling B.S. on the O.P.'s story but I will second his experience as hauntingly similar to my own concerning V.A. They are overwhelmed with returning vets but even before our current conflicts they sucked in the mental health department. Nothing but pills and more pills.

IMO, my service was to evil and contributed nothing positive to the world. I didn't believe that at the time but that is my opinion in hindsight. One of the most frustrating things I experienced after my service was watching society continue to glamorize war and incentivize service in the armed forces. Even here and now with so many lies about our government exposed and our Constitution shredded, we still have a large portion of our population that supports this never-ending "War on Terror".

I hope you find your way back to a decent life. Don't give up, get and stay sober, and don't forget: "It's just a ride".

Thank you for sharing. I agree with your assesment as well.

Originally posted by Miss Sile
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Dear USMC0311, I read your post and really feel for you. The Iraq war ruined my life too, but in an entirely different way. I think its sick the way our military is treated, after they risked their lives for our country. Then come home with horrible images that they can't erase. I was happy to read at first you got help for ptsd, I keep wishing a dear friend of mine would. Then I was horrified, but not too surprised to hear your experience with it. I guess the VAs crappy care goes out in every direction.

When I get a chance and my hands on a computer (using my phone) I'll private message you. I might have a few resources you are not aware of. I did research to get my friend help.

Glad you have your daughter. I'll be praying for you.

Miss Sile

I am sorry to hear that. Thank you for the prayers and I look forward to any info you may have.

reply to post by usmc0311


Thanks for the kind words about my brother. THANK YOU for your service! I hope you can cut through all the bureaucratic red tape and road blocks put up by the VA. Keep on pestering them, and riding them hard. Get hold of your congressional representative as well, and tell them about your complaints regarding the services by the VA. You would be surprised how those mountains move when a congressman or woman or senator is inquiring about a government agency neglecting one of their constituents. Try it out if you have not done so already. Keep up the good fight, and know that there are people out there ready to assist in anyway they can.

Originally posted by CaptainIraq
I really hope you find peace in life, man...I've known a few vets from the war, and I can say that your story is more common than it should be. Nobody (myself included) who hasn't been there can possibly understand what you're going through - it's just unfortunate that your family doesn't get it.

If I have one piece of advice though, I'd say to try and not make the drinking thing a habit. I've known a few alcoholics, as well as having nearly gone off the edge myself - and most of the time you can't even see it coming.

Take care, brother.

Thanks, Last night was the first time I drank in a very long time and was reminded why today. Already took a shotgun to the bottle as any good country boy does. Alchohol just sucks. IMO

Originally posted by ILikeStars

Originally posted by usmc0311
Are there any other veterans on here who have had simaler problems?

Yes.

Air Force rescue firefighter/EMT 1998-2009. Seven tours of duty to warzones, four tours in Iraq. Medically retired after experiencing some extreme situations and being too close to stuff that went boom a few too many times. Diagnosed with ptsd, tbi, and schizoaffective disorder, none of which existed prior to service. Some of which I don't believe exist now, especially the schizoaffective disorder.... BUT... if the government wants to pay me an extra grand a month for agreeing with their diagnosis then who am I to say no? And my denying it is just one of the symptoms of schizoaffective disorder, apparently.. and we can't argue with that logic.

In the course of my 3+ years in warzones my sense garnered experiences most people have little basis for comparison with when attempting to wrap their minds around. Something happens within when one's own "reflexes" become diametrically opposed to the instinct of self preservation.

These are some of my thoughts right now. I've got stuff to do, and will be back later perhaps to share some more.

That is the first I have heard of that disorder. I am going to take a look at it right now. Thanks for posting it and thanks for your service.

reply to post by usmc0311


Thank you for your service, Don't give up brother!!!!

I'm with you guy. I've seen the uncensored videos from Iraq war (horrible and brutal footage).
I've seen many Italian soldiers in Bosnia-Kosovo and go back to Italy to die because of depleted uranium (thank you army).
A lot of problems for life insurance, a real shame (abandoned by the State)

Unfortunately, this is war, nothing of fun... nothing of right.

Take Care.

Originally posted by Cosmic911
The depleted uranium (DU) issue reminds me of Gulf War Syndrome. No one wants to talk about it or acknowledge it, but it is very real nonetheless.

I'm a veteran. I'm a patriot. I had recently thought about re-enlisting but decided not to. Stories like this, though sad and disappointing, confirm my decision not to go back into the service as a good choice.

Hope you find peace marine.

Yeah, The depleted uranium is real. In Italy we call it "Balkans Syndrome" (for the war in Balkans).

We have 2530 italian soldiers with cancer (181 dead).

reply to post by usmc0311


sorry your going through this. but in the end all thats going to fix it is your going to have to find something to work toward for the future that has your interest (hence giving you something else to think about) and stop dwelling on the past. its the same as the victim of any crime.. dwelling on something that happened years ago that you can no longer change will keep your thought process in the past and not looking forward. it happened, deal with it. find something else to concentrate on, and move forward with your life.

The Iraq war only ruined your life because you volunteered for military service. You could have avoided it entirely by not signing up. There was no draft.

The only people whose lives actually got ruined by the war are the Iraqis who were involuntarily thrust into it.