No-Frills Magic: A Proposal

I have been think about this for a while, & this is what I propose:

"No-Frills" Magic, Practical Magic for Sorceror of TODAY.

1. No more distracting formulae, charts, talismans annotated in Hebrew, and anything else which you feel you really don't need, are not inclined to study, or feel in your gut is just plain stupid.
2. No more active contacting/conjuring/invoking of spirits, entities, demons, ghosts, etc. Because we know that all we need is focus on our Higher Self.
3. A ban on overly-used New Age terms such as Higher Self.
4. Don't call magic "magick"
5. Don't call magic "magic."
6. Stop trying to convince skeptics--get past your ego.
7. Stop bragging about what cool s**t you can do -- nobody really truly cares but you and a few teenagers who want to shoot fireballs out of their hands.
8. Set yourself a limit as to how much navel-gazing you are allowed to do each day.
9. Your family doesn't need to know what your beliefs are unless they are all 5th generation practictioners of The Olde Ways--don't give them ammunition.
10. Make a point to cut back on your usual readings about the Occult, Kabbalah, and the Grail Mysteries and replace them with some newspapers, history books, science books, & narratives of real people's lives.
11. Try to get a mate who is very grounded & not into this stuff so your relationship doesn't devolve into an occult Sid and Nancy scenario.
12. Speaking of Sid & Nancy -- if you find that you need to take drugs as part of your occult "scene," accept the fact now that one day you will end up hanging from your ceiling by your fingernails and scream "bluoowahhh!!!" as the Archangel Michael (or so you think) has permanently sent his loving but firey rays to burn out your corneas while your mind processes the entire history of the aluminum industry over and over again in a neverending loop.
13. Take a 3" by 5" index card. Place it over your journal or "Book of Shadows. See that space? That's how much you should write about the minutia of your magical progressions each day.
14. For God's sake, don't call it a "Book of Shadows." I mean, unless you really, really, really believe that is an appropriate name for it & you're not just doing it because you read it in a Llewellyn "How-To Do Wicca" $5.00 paperback.
15. Don't ever say "for the gods' sake" or "thank the goddess!" Unless it really feels natural & unaffected to you--be honest.
16. Realize that magic is just a natural facet of the world that science doesn't really understand--yet.
17. Realize that magic and other "paranormal" abilities can be cultivated & learned--and that even your annoying brother who sleeps on the couch & smokes pot all day can do it--all the more reason to keep all this secret, no?
18. Yeah, I think Aleister Crowley was an interesting guy too--but you really don't want him as your role-model.
19. The keys to magic: focus, visualization, and affirmation. To which end, you are probably better served reading Anthony Robbins' "Awaken the Giant Within" than you are the entire Llewellyn occult library.
20. When a creepy, reed-thin man with double-jointed knuckles and a tattoo of Baphomet on his neck meets you in the New Age section of your local store and asks in this weird, far-off voice that sounds not unlike Emo Phillips if you would like to call the corners some time, you might feel that it's time to practice "no-frills" magic (or at least order your books on Amazon).

I realize that this all sounds boring...but it all depends on what your goals are. My goals are to have a reasonably happy life, try not to be evil & try to do some good, be financially successful enough so my children aren't raised in poverty & I have some money left for retirement, and die with all (or most) my sanity intact. I used to have bigger goals, like to be the avatar of the the next age of evolution, but I have had to settle.

1. No more distracting formulae, charts, talismans annotated in Hebrew, and anything else which you feel you really don't need, are not inclined to study, or feel in your gut is just plain stupid.

Ahh...but such trappings are not the reason magic works, it is simply to assist in the "belief" and affirmation that it will... Successful practicioners already know such trappings aren't needed. (though they tend to spook houseguests, hehe....)

2. No more active contacting/conjuring/invoking of spirits, entities, demons, ghosts, etc. Because we know that all we need is focus on our Higher Self.

Sometimes they can teach alot though....before they inevitably get twisted on you...

3. A ban on overly-used New Age terms such as Higher Self.

You just broke this in #2, hehe...

4. Don't call magic "magick"

God I hate that Llewellyn nonsense...

5. Don't call magic "magic."

Then what do you call it?

6. Stop trying to convince skeptics--get past your ego.

A skeptic's disbelief is often a powerful counter charm to a magician's spell.

7. Stop bragging about what cool s**t you can do -- nobody really truly cares but you and a few teenagers who want to shoot fireballs out of their hands.

True, but turning a street light off and on again at will sure give them the creeps, and make them re-evaluate how they believe the universe truly works...

8. Set yourself a limit as to how much navel-gazing you are allowed to do each day.

In my experience, the majority of Wiccans, Shamans, New Agers, etc. cannot see their navel without a mirror...

9. Your family doesn't need to know what your beliefs are unless they are all 5th generation practictioners of The Olde Ways--don't give them ammunition.

Or unless you enjoy wood-panelled offices and leather couches...

10. Make a point to cut back on your usual readings about the Occult, Kabbalah, and the Grail Mysteries and replace them with some newspapers, history books, science books, & narratives of real people's lives.

Nah...that's boring...

11. Try to get a mate who is very grounded & not into this stuff so your relationship doesn't devolve into an occult Sid and Nancy scenario.

Yeah, that can get weird...

12. Speaking of Sid & Nancy -- if you find that you need to take drugs as part of your occult "scene," accept the fact now that one day you will end up hanging from your ceiling by your fingernails and scream "bluoowahhh!!!" as the Archangel Michael (or so you think) has permanently sent his loving but firey rays to burn out your corneas while your mind processes the entire history of the aluminum industry over and over again in a neverending loop.

That sounds TOO descriptive NOT to be a personal experience, hehe... Uhm..say no to drugs....mkay?

13. Take a 3" by 5" index card. Place it over your journal or "Book of Shadows. See that space? That's how much you should write about the minutia of your magical progressions each day.

Anything you put in writing can be used against you...keep it in your head or hidden in a computer file labelled with a name like "syseditops" or something....

14. For God's sake, don't call it a "Book of Shadows." I mean, unless you really, really, really believe that is an appropriate name for it & you're not just doing it because you read it in a Llewellyn "How-To Do Wicca" $5.00 paperback.

Where the heck do you find them for $5? I usually paid more!

15. Don't ever say "for the gods' sake" or "thank the goddess!" Unless it really feels natural & unaffected to you--be honest.

I typically say "Damn it!" or "Holy S**t!"

16. Realize that magic is just a natural facet of the world that science doesn't really understand--yet.

They're getting closer though, thankfully....though still a long way to go...

17. Realize that magic and other "paranormal" abilities can be cultivated & learned--and that even your annoying brother who sleeps on the couch & smokes pot all day can do it--all the more reason to keep all this secret, no?

I'd imagine that if he smoked pot all day, he'd have PLENTY of visions all his own, hehe...

18. Yeah, I think Aleister Crowley was an interesting guy too--but you really don't want him as your role-model.

Though he was rich and had lots of women, hehe....

19. The keys to magic: focus, visualization, and affirmation. To which end, you are probably better served reading Anthony Robbins' "Awaken the Giant Within" than you are the entire Llewellyn occult library.

Tony Robbins is scarier than any demon you're ever likely to conjure, hehe...

20. When a creepy, reed-thin man with double-jointed knuckles and a tattoo of Baphomet on his neck meets you in the New Age section of your local store and asks in this weird, far-off voice that sounds not unlike Emo Phillips if you would like to call the corners some time, you might feel that it's time to practice "no-frills" magic (or at least order your books on Amazon).

Sound advice....