Any advice on picking up the ladies?

Note: Not from alexs but from a female friend

Okay, if you want honesty, I'll give it to you.

If you can't be yourself when it comes to women and picking them up - DON'T BOTHER!
Women admire men who can be themselves, not trying to be someone they're not. It says that they're confident in who they are, and women like men who are confident about being themselves.

Do yourself a favour - be yourself, not a projection of someone you're not.

Also think about what interests you, and whether you'd like someone with similar interests. No point looking in a mall if the girl of your dreams spends her time in a library.

Looking back on my history of dating...it was pretty non existant lol. I was hardly the catch at school, i don't think a girl noticed me until i strated training for the army and grew a muscle.

Confidence was an issue for me, but looking back, how hard really is it to just ask a question? If it makes it easier to deal with, don't think of it as trying for a date, more a case of you meeting a new friend. You'll get talking, then if that goes well, you can ask her out. If she doesn't even want to talk, then you've got your answer and you can just smile and shrug it off.

Top tip, although looks are important, especially when you are younger, don't take it as the answer to everything. When you can find someone who makes you laugh, the bond will grow.

Good luck, and don't worry, it will happen and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.

CX.

The best advice I can give you is that it's not what you say but how you say it.

You can say anything you want... you gotta do one thing though.

Be confident in what you talk about. Chicks don't care what you do, just that you do something(just easier if it's something she likes).

ps. thought I'd include my favourite ridiculous pick-up line;

"You got wrench's in your eye's? cause every time you look at me my nuts tighten"

I've been with a lot of women in my time, and to be honest- pickup lines will only get you vapid airheads girls. If you want a "one night" situation, then feign confidence if you need to, be cheesy, and go for all the lines you can get.
But if you want something more, I'd suggest wait for some back and forth eye contact with a girl, make an excuse to go over there and talk to the girl: "do you have a lighter?" etc. But that's where the cheesiness stops. Have a genuine conversation with the girl. Obviously start with something generic "how's your night been?" etc.
If you're awkward by nature, be awkward. If you're the type who always makes jokes, make jokes. Being honest and true to yourself is the key. The last thing you want is to go home with a girl who thinks you're something you're not. You end up lying to her, and lying to yourself.
Hope this helps, man.

If you havent already got the big guns already start hitting the gym and get them this will also build your confidence. An approach I have used that has often been succesfull Is to say "excuse me Ive just had this short haircut but I wasnt brave enough to go for the skin cut, do you think I should ?". The reply would normally be yes/no/maybe. I then go onto to ask if she prefers men with hair long or short, and does she like goatee's etc. There are plenty of websites that give good advice for free you might want to try some of them. Dont be afraid of rejection, and never be outcome dependant, dress smart, and be cool.

Just follow ilikestarz' advice, he's right on the money for your target demographic.

I'll only add these two nuggets to his already excellent advice on mall fishing...

1) Be confident, but not cocky. Don't let anything they say phase you, you're cool and aloof. At the same time, don't look down on them, or treat them poorly. Like he said, get them talking about them, not you talking about you.

2) Don't immediately go up to the hottest one. Start talking up the next hottest, and you'll put the first hottie off her game...she'll wonder what she goofed up today (and the others, tired of always seeing number one get all the attention, will instantly feel one number higher on the scale, and also be intrigued by you. Talk them all up.

Or

How to pick up chicks...

Well....picking up random chicks at the mall might not be the best way to go. First of all, any "chick" with half a brain would be leery of a guy scoping the mall, trolling for women...and could see through it. I am approached a lot in malls and stores, and it creeps me out....I tend to shy away because I'm wondering why this guy is hanging out just checking the women out, you know? Too many freaks out there.

The best way to meet girls that you would have things in common with, would be to go to a place where your interests are. If you like art, go to a museum.....if you like motorcycles, go to a Harley Shop,...etc etc....unless you are into spending lots of money and shopping at the mall, it's not likely you would meet your dream girl there (Not saying it's impossible, but you know what I mean).

I'm assuming you are looking for more than a one night stand....so I'd say get out and go to places where you enjoy being, and then you can meet girls who share your interests.

reply to post by hotel1

An approach I have used that has often been succesfull Is to say "excuse me Ive just had this short haircut but I wasnt brave enough to go for the skin cut, do you think I should ?". The reply would normally be yes/no/maybe. I then go onto to ask if she prefers men with hair long or short, and does she like goatee's etc.

Call me jaded, but this would make me uncomfortable.....it's so obvious.So "Ted Bundy-ish" It's just a little too intrusive asking a random women what preferences in men's hair styles she has, when it's a total stranger.

We are assuming the OP is less than 21, and is doing the usual teeny mall fishing scenario... I'll agree, that any older, and it's getting to the creepy stage...

So, in dealing with mall chicks that are less than 21, he is dealing with those having "half a brain", so he should be ok... (kidding!)

Originally posted by MisterFister103
I'd like to approach random girls at the mall or whatnot, but I am having a hard time coming up with stuff that I think doesn't sound lame. Everyone just gives out stupid advice like, just be yourself or go up to her and compliment her on something she's wearing. If I go up to strange women in the hopes of getting her number, I'm not going to go about it in a lame, contrived, scripted way. It's going to be in a ballsy and different way.

Of all the things I've read and heard my favorite one that I kind of made up would be to say, 'Hey do these shoes make me look like Ryan Gosling?' It's random and probably not something your average hottie has heard from guys that are trying to talk to them. I'd also consider using really bad pick-up lines, but I would make it obvious that it is totally in jest.

Anyone got any good advice for talking to random girls at the mall?

It is a bad idea to fire randomly into the dark.

Worse idea to find a date at a bar, club or church, as the gal's that frequent those locations are one in the same and you don't want to catch an STD or a child support bill.

Try and join a club, charitable organization or a sporting league. You may or may not find a gal that way, but it will build character that might make a gal interested in you.

Secondly, think about the type of gal you want to be with. Don't focus on looks at this point, I mean what type of gal intellectually, emotionally and with what type of general mental maturity. Now ask yourself, "where is this person most likely to hang out".

Try and find a common interest, and use that as your opener.

That said though, be extremely careful. 1 in 3 women have an STD of some sort(so before sexual relations of any kind make sure you are both tested), also find out what her views are on violence against men, as male domestic violence(when men are the victims of DV) is soaring, and you don't want to wander into an abusive situation; be it mental, emotional or physical abuse= zero tolerance run for the hills.

reply to post by StealthyKat
Ted Bundy was very succesfull with the ladies before, during, and after his criminal activities. Like many death row inmates he recieved wedding proposals much like a Norwegian man of recent note, who also proves that chicks often dig a sociopathic jerk. In my profession I have witnessed this bizare fact many times.
Now Gentlemen how many more times am I gonna have to say this on this forum; never ever under any circumstances take dating/relationship advice from females because (all together now) what they say they want, and what they actually want are two completely different things.

dont make me come down there.

reply to post by MisterFister103


I think it would depend on what type of relationship you are looking for....
1.A one night stand.
2.Becoming good friends
3.A possible future Mrs.

Originally posted by ilikestarz
74 Templar said it:

Originally posted by 74Templar
Catchy lines? Aint gonna happen my friend.

One thing. Confidence.

No offense, but i assume that you are under 21 because you are asking about finding girls in a mall instead of a bar. That's fine. Don't let some of the other posts fool you malls are fine. Girls often travel in packs at malls and sometimes approaching packs can be easier than trying to spark up a conversation with a solo girl. Best to try when they are sitting or standing somewhere rather than in motion. Be confident but not cocky. Girls really love to talk about themselves. Try not to talk about trivial things like the weather, politics or sports. Get them talking about themselves and only talk about yourself if they ask, and when they do, keep it short. Keep them wanting more. Seem intriguing but not wierd - dont make the puzzle too easy or too difficult to solve. As i said earlier, it can be easier to talk to groups because the odds are better that one of them will find you interesting or cute. Being funny is always a good thing as long as you can do it without coming off cheesy or desperate for a laugh. Say something like,
"Avoid Hotdog on a Stick today ladies, i think i saw 'Napolian Dynamite' not wash his hands after returing from the bathroom. Dont know about you but Hep B on a stick just isn't my style".

If you have friends who know girls, give that a go too. Don't be afraid to approach girls. I don't mean to brag, but i have actually walked up to a girl on the street of Sacramento CA and said, "Feel like a beer and some sex?" and it worked. She wasn;t a keeper or anything, but you get the idea - it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Best of luck friend.

edit on 4-5-2012 by ilikestarz because: (no reason given)

Ohh, i think i made it come out wrong. With a catchy line i meant finding a way to start talking to a girl. If you lack confidence it could be a decent way to actually start talking about something.

Trust me, i hate pick up lines and watching others use em always make me laugh out loud!

reply to post by MisterFister103

So did you move on from hitting on girls at the mall to trying to pick them up on ats? The almost compliment on my profile page was pretty smooth. Maybe you should keep trying this new tactic.
-Alena

reply to post by MisterFister103


One tip!...Don't look like me...I couldn't get "Laid" in a Brothel!...lol

reply to post by MisterFister103

I,ve have a couple tricks that work for me.
When u walk up to a beautiful female dont give them that "your so pretty look."
Look directly into her eyes whoever has the most serious look in their face usually wins.
If she sees u staring and looks off she shy...potential win
If she stares back into your eyes with a smile dont smile instead take control of the situation.
Most women dont like a man that is easily intimdated.
Even if she looks like Halle Berry. Hell even if she is Halle Berry be mature....think get into her head

It doesnt matter how fast You talk but remember to talk clearly. (Women are much better talkers)
Adapt to the situaution. DO ME. Your Situation is the mall which means youre probably gonna be spending money right. Most females that work in the mall are gorgeous. Why? Because they are salespersons getting paid off commision. Who better to convince a guy to buy a pair of Jordans...a good looking female...just reverse the equation.

Go in a store where a female is working. Obviously if Youre the only one in the store she gonna try to sell you something. Heres the script
You are standing in footlocker staring at the sneakers...
Salesgirl: Sir do you need any help?
You: it depends I need to be fly for the party tonight.
Salesgirl: well wats your favorite color
You: Red and white what about you?
Sales girl: what
You: What are your favorite colors see Im taking this girl to the party tonight and i Cant just ask her wats her favorite color because she doesnt know im going to ask her out so I'll just give her the shoes hope she likes the shoes you pick.
Sales Girl: O
She Picks out the shoes she likes but doesnt plan on getting a pair of (She doesnt want your girl wearing the same shoes she has.)
SalesGirl:Well I personally l like these shoes maybe she will to
U pay for the shoes. Get separate reciepts. write your number on girls shoes reciept Give her back the shoes and reciept turn around and walk out the store laughing.

Stop Using lines be more creative.

reply to post by Playboy29

I need to be fly for the party tonight.

If I heard a man say that.........id roll my eyes and walk away.

.......just sayn'

In the beginning don't "pour your heart out."

I cringe when I think of the way I came on to someone who had been a long-term friend, whom I had lusted after for years. Looking back 20 years later, I think she was attracted to me just fine---it was just icky to hear about someone secretly having a crush, and wondering if they were stalking you the whole time (I wasn't).

It is not PC but I've already got mine so here goes:

Women enjoy a bit of pretense, a bit of tension of "is he flirting or isn't he." For all I know, men may like that tension just as much. I never noticed, because I was only hitting on chicks. EVERY time I have been flat out honest with a woman, every time I have "bared my soul," it was a complete freaking disaster. I think a lot of women crave a guy who is powerful; baring your soul is too vulnerable, and it drives them away. At least it did for me. But hey, maybe it was the wizard hat.

my second piece of advice: don't hit on strangers. Work on the women you have a passing acquantence with form a class or social group. Do NOT hit on friends or their immediate friends. Choose a female you can avoid if she says no. But pick a contact that you know a couple of bits of info about. Not stalking stuff, but you've observed that she is obviously bored in a class you share. Make that the entry point of a conversation (not a pickup line.) Something like "the lecturer was actually a bit less boring today" (only say this if true).

She will respond with either an open or closed comment. An open comment leaves room for you to say something else. Example: she says, "Well, I only registered for this class because Dr. Marx was supposed to teach it; but he is on sabbatical, and his goofy TA is teaching the thing." See, then you say, "You wanted to study with Marx? Are you an economics major?" See, regardless of how she responds, she is inviting you into her world, and you are welcome to pursue further. Compare that with this one:

You: "the lecturer was actually a bit less boring today"
She: "As if." [she turns from you and starts talking to someone else.]

See the difference? In the first one, at least a part of her is interested in talking with you.

If you get a positive response, try to expand the conversation. Only mention yourself when it reflects positively on her: "Oh really? I wanted to major in economics, but I was afraid I couldn't master calculus." Then she can tell you how good she is at math. Bonus points if she offers to tutor you.

.If she shuts you down, never force the issue. Always show respect for her wishes. But if she does reject you. make yourself available in the background on another day. For instance, don't sit near her, but loiter outside the class for a minute and look at the bulletin board. She may strike up a conversation after previously rejecting you. I have had that happen enough to always seek the possibility.

Then I'll tell you one more thing: find a female to do things with. Not to go to parties or romantic events, but just a friend to go to the mall with, or jogging or whatever. The reason for this is simple.

The presence of a female telegraphs that you are not a serial killer.

I happened into such a friend in college. Her boyfriend was my best friend, and he took an opportunity to study overseas for a year. I never hit on her, but we would go do things together. She liked the company, and both of us were more desirable because we had a "partner." Now, she was a lot better looking than I was. But beautiful women were intrigued with what I was doing with someone like her. I had them hand me notes in a bookstore, leave me phone numbers on napkins, all that crap.

Stella knew what was going on. If she saw another woman watching us, she would put her arm around me or hold my hand. She'd whisper for me to look bored and not respond. Sure enough, when she went to the bathroom, the onlooker would feel compelled to "make contact" with me. The fact that I looked bored with Stella's affection had a tremendous effect on other women. The whole, "Is he taken, or not?" thing.

It definitely will raise your status, and make you more popular with everyone, including your own friends(!)

reply to post by hotel1


Hmmmmm.....that's funny because I know exactly what I want and that's exactly what I say. No grey areas here.....The women attracted to serial killers have mental issues. I have dealt with these people in my previous occupation(s) as well.....so I know a little on that subject too. Which is the reason I would say approaching random girls nervously is not the way to go. Most women I know would be leery of that.....JMO.

First advice for picking up ladies, dont look for advice on chat forums
Second advice for picking up ladies, get off the computer, go find a hobby or an interest and when you see a pretty girl say Hi, Hows it going,,, and if you get along presto... a conversation will take off.. and if not, well you made a friend who has the same interest/hobby that might be able to introduce you to someone further down the track!