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Originally posted by greyer
Ottobot, please don't make me quote myself, I said I was not looking for love from a girl or woman. I mentioned feeling good when a girl smiled at me, that is just because I am heterosexual.
Or when in public I can picture attractive girls naked, lol it won't get me anywhere but a lustful thought.
People look at you when walking down the street, you will be some form of entertainment to them whether a bum, or an attractive girl, or anybody - people look.
In the midst of practicing this I saw a beautiful girl and she smiled at me when pulled up in her car. At this point most guys would be elated, girls are a probably more calm because they know guys are more 'physically' attracted to them when they are more attracted to a guys personality.
I didn't end up meeting the love of my life I have always been waiting for but I have come to realize that this goal is not going to be accomplished over night, I must practice, practice, practice.
I am a guy who has always been told I was attractive, but have never met a girl who I was attracted to and who was interested in me. So I have pretty much given up into gaining any love from any girl, we don't get along great because I was the one who yearned for love year after year when none of them were interested in me.
To clarify my goal - it is to walk down any street and be able to converse with Anybody and make real connections at the time of meeting them. Girls just add spice to the mix because since I am attracted to them it is nearly impossible to act the exact same as to somebody I am not attracted to, but maybe if I did I would finally have a girl interested in me.
The reason why I think most girls were not interested is because of my self image - I live in an area where tatoos and punk rock are very popular, since I don't have that style I have seen many girls choose the guy with tatoos over me - it was not because of my looks or personality but my self image.
So I agree with what I am learning here, I just think girls are so absorbed in self image that I will never find true love, not at least where I live now.
In this case no, I saw a beautiful girl smile at me and there was no time to think anything but feel a rush. There is no way I can see a beautiful girl smile at me and not feel, witness, and acknowledge in my heart that she is beautiful. I can lie and make it seem like a think she is ugly - and yes those are the guys who get beautiful girls. It is well known fine looking girls like 'bad boys,' and it is probably just the lack of self image they have, I can agree with that.
Originally posted by ottobot
Only attractive girls, not those girls who don't meet your "definitely want to envision naked" standards. Ok.
And what of an unattractive girl? People are people, but you take the time to reference attractive girls again.
So, if girls are more attracted to personality, do you just have an outstanding personality? She's smiling at you because she knows she's so beautiful that you can't keep your eyes off her?.
So, you are "looking" for the love of your life.
You've never met a girl who meets your attractiveness standard - that "I'm an attractive male and thus need a socially/stereotypically attractive female on my arm to be seen as a stud" standard? - and who has been attracted to you. Clearly, the "unattractive" females who've wanted your attentions were just too ugly all around to even be considered. Personality < "Attractive".
To summarize, you've given up finding someone who is "attractive" and who is attracted to you, so you will be indifferent and hope that maybe that indifference allows you to interact with an "attractive" girl who will then like your personality and be attracted to you?
So, again, if your mate must be "attractive", but you attempt indifference... what happens when an "unattractive" girl falls in love with your personality?
Choose them over you? How's that? Are you saying you've been "friend-zoned" a bunch of times? If so, did you make your intent known to the girls who choose TatMan instead of you?
You say they choose the other guys because of their looks and the image they put out... but the girls don't care about the looks and image you put out.
You're right about that... but the same stereotypical girls are everywhere. Problem is, you keep looking for them to be your "true love".
Originally posted by absolutely
wat prove what i say being right, is the fact that shyness is exclusively western trait, so the comment on what u quote is totally absurd
Originally posted by greyer
Just because I want something doesn't mean I am turning over rocks and looking for it.
Again you are going off topic because this thread is about losing any kind of self-image and the answer is no. In order to be in love there needs to be some physical attraction, I realize there is much more needed for it to work out.
Fear will never let her to get a chance to know my personality, so breaking from fear and losing my self-image will determine the result of my actions I believe. Indifference as nothing to do with it because I have a deep interest and motivation to pursue this subject.
I personally can't fall in love with a girl I am unattracted to, and I wouldn't want to try waking up to someone that I don't even like seeing.
No they disrespected me and really let me know they didn't want anything to do with me. It happened many times in my current area with the particular trend I mentioned, and it doesn't happen where I am from. I am completely convinced girls don't like my style in Arizona and they do in northern California - they have told me.
This was addressed by me in my question from an earlier post in this thread, the answer to me is that girls have a ton of self-image and I would rather not talk to them if they do.
Again, I am telling you the truth that I am not looking as you put it, why the heck would I not want love? Why would you not want love? That is just totally stupid. Human beings were made to live in love.
Originally posted by ottobot
All right, I can respect that. I just have a question about it: What do you expect from true love?
So, no, physical attraction up front is not an indicator of whether or not the relationship has potential.
OK, but would you even talk to the girl in the first place?
How do you gauge the amount of self-image a girl has?
Originally posted by greyer
That's an easy one. I understand what it takes to cause euphoria, and love is the only thing I am aware of that causes euphoria naturally. Better than just a short period of time, but once all night I felt it, so if I was to ever toss or turn it would be like a heroin high.
To me that would be another thread, because communication with a girl who could have any potential to be a lover, attractive or not, is different than communication with the world. I think the reason why is because they are communicating with you, and this communication is a body language slash mental game type of communication, they are communicating deeply.
Yes, because there will be no communication from her, basically I think it is just hard when they are already communicating with body language, its like you can see into their mind and its not pretty.
I'm still not sure about self-image and will have to do more studying, but even when they like me it is hard for them to have a relationship and to me it is because they have a lot of tattoos because they find someone with them, it is a social crowd type of thing. I can probably not have any self-image and still fit into a social crowd.
Originally posted by babybunnies
However, it sounds like you have difficulty talking to others.
Originally posted by ottobot
Hmm. That's an interesting way of looking at it. See, I must just be that clueless. Because, I will talk to people and hang out with them without any thought of any type of relationship other than friendship, just enjoying one another's company, conversing, learning from one another.
are you sure this "body language" you're seeing from girls isn't just in your imagination?
I mean, you say you can see "into their mind", what is it that you see? Some imagination that you're their knight in shining armor? Some imagination that you are the father of their unattractive children? What is it?
Fitting in is extremely easy. You just copy everyone else and keep your mouth shut when you disagree with them.