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Originally posted by nightstalker78
I didn't watch your video...but I read the post.I think the one word that was missing was " depression".
Maybe I'm wrong I don't know.But that's what I got from it.
Originally posted by nightstalker78
reply to post by sugarcookie1
I can tell as I said that's what I got from it.I've been there.I think for me your title pretty much summed it up for me too.
Maybe I'm wrong.I just happened to be listening to The Unnamed Feeling when I read your thread,which is why I didn't watch the video.
ETA: I know you want us to share our struggles and what not on this thread but I can't.I've shared some and I don't really want to repeat myself.edit on 27-4-2012 by nightstalker78 because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by Biliverdin
Hey sugarcookie1
I spent most of my life avoiding psychiatrists and the such like, I didn't want to be labelled, especially not with a 'stark staring mad' label. Then about six months ago I had a momentary about-turn, and wanted a label. I had spent so much time coming to terms with myself, understanding the things about me that didn't work in the same way as other people seemed to, but I got sick of having to explain to others that while I seem to function really well, it is only because of all that hard work, and that 'never giving up' on life that has enabled me to do so. And so, I thought, if I went to a professional, got confirmation of the diagnosis that I already know is my 'label' that I could just say 'here this is what I am', that it would save me having to go through all the heartache over and over again to get people to understand why sometimes I do shut down, no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Speaking to my friend about it though, I eventually decided against it, people see what they want to see anyway, and instead, I keep those that understand close, and those that won't at arms length. It is currently meaning that my family aren't speaking to me, because I told them I wasn't willing to pretend that their behaviour wasn't a factor in triggering the unhealthier aspects of my 'label'. They won't stop lying and being manipulative, and I won't stop calling them out on it when they are. But I am much happier and healthier now, so you win some, you lose some. It's very sad, but sometimes those are the breaks when you 'choose life'.
Thanks sugarcookie1, for this thread, you have, as always, my admiration and respect. My trials are small compared to yours, but it is people like you that give me the power and determination to overcome my own little molehills.
Originally posted by sugarcookie1
Thank you for posting as always..I don't think any of us want to be labeled i just got to the point i didn't care anymore i felt it was better to educate people on what the illness was then to keep fighting it and making excuses on why i cant go out when im sick or just to tired to get out of bed..
But your right people see what they want to see and sometimes it doesn't matter how much you tell them it just doesn't register and sometimes that makes me even more depressed..
Originally posted by sugarcookie1
My family understands to a point but then they think im just avoiding them and sometimes i do i get tired of all there advise on what i should be doing i figure its my body and im going to do whats best to keep it going and ive done good for making it this far..
I'm sorry to hear your family ist speaking to you that has to be hard because depression is hard and that justs adds to the problem..But its good you call them out on it sometimes you just have to do that to keep you healthy its your body and mind..
Originally posted by Biliverdin
reply to post by galadofwarthethird
Of all the adjectives that I may have used to describe you, normal would probably be last one I'd choose.
Normal is dull, normal lacks character...and you are far from it, Petal. And, of course, I mean that in the nicest possible way
Rephrase...if you were representative of what is normal, then my world would be a better place, or at least humanity would be a whole lot more interesting, generally
Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by sugarcookie1
I galadofwarthethrid approve of this thread and this message...
Kick ass sugarcookie and take names.
I would like to contribute to this but I am like totally normal, anybody that says otherwise is a disinfoagent spreading misinformation about me and you should not believe them, and if they persist they will be in err, for there hope will end there.
I have lived through some visible hurts, and some invisible hurts. That is all I will say on it
But ya sugarcookie more thumbs up.
Originally posted by Biliverdin
Originally posted by sugarcookie1
Thank you for posting as always..I don't think any of us want to be labeled i just got to the point i didn't care anymore i felt it was better to educate people on what the illness was then to keep fighting it and making excuses on why i cant go out when im sick or just to tired to get out of bed..
But your right people see what they want to see and sometimes it doesn't matter how much you tell them it just doesn't register and sometimes that makes me even more depressed..
This is why it is so important to ensure that we do away with superficial relationships, it can send you right back to square one, when coming out from your cocoon to find that you have been bitched about, or others have just made assumptions about your absence. You need people around you that understand that it is hard enough alone to drop back and take the recovery time you need, watching from a distance as the world turns without you, without then having to justify your absence, when you're ready and raring to go again and make up for that lost time.
I don't mind being labelled, so much as I mind it being assumed that because I can function sometimes that it is just me wallowing for a while, or milking sympathy. The last thing I want, ever want, is sympathy, just the space to put myself back together when I need to. Sometimes there is nothing lonelier than being in a crowded room full of indifference.
Originally posted by sugarcookie1
My family understands to a point but then they think im just avoiding them and sometimes i do i get tired of all there advise on what i should be doing i figure its my body and im going to do whats best to keep it going and ive done good for making it this far..
I'm sorry to hear your family ist speaking to you that has to be hard because depression is hard and that justs adds to the problem..But its good you call them out on it sometimes you just have to do that to keep you healthy its your body and mind..
My mother has some mental health issues of her own, as is often the case in these matters. Things like this often get passed down from generation to generation. Whereas I hate being the centre of attention, and feel disempowered by sympathy, my mother thrives on it, and has fallen into the victim rut to the extent that she now feels the need to fabricate tribulations, generally by accusing others malignly. Both my brother and step-father would rather not confront her, and prefer to ignore the situation. I have suggested that we as a family sit down and try to resolve this, but in return I was told that I was clearly suffering from depression and should consult a doctor as a matter of urgency. My Nan went the same way, and her mother before her, so I know to some extent what to expect, but for me, it is more important that I set the right example to my son and ensure that I do not become a burden to him. They are adults and have been given every support and opportunity to help themselves, but if they don't want to move on, I can't make them.
I feel that cycles and rules are there to be broken, given the will to do so. I was told once, that is you feel as though you are being tested, then you are. This situation is my hardest test yet though, I have never been comfortable with powerlessness, but that is what I have to come to terms with.
Originally posted by purplemer
reply to post by sugarcookie1
thanks for sharing..kx)