Women. Why are they so beautiful?

This is actually a question for men who have been married a while. I've only been married for about a year and a half. First off, my wife is VERY attractive. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen (definitely a dime). I would never cheat on her, I know that to be true because I would never set myself up for failure.

The first year I never really noticed any other beautiful women besides my wife. I don't remember when it started, but all of a sudden I started noticing so many good-looking women out there. I'm hoping this is just a short phase. My wife and I are not having problems at all - happy home, good life, fantastic sex.

My question to other men who are married: Does it get easier to look the other way or does it get harder with time?

Sincerely,

UnaChispa

Im not sure, I am as attracted to my wife as I was the day I met her, and I wont say I do not admire beauty when I see it, there is no thought or actual urge behind it to stray.

So I guess it all depends on the person.

My wife an I have been together for 10 years, since we were both 20, No kids btw (that could have something to do with the longevity lol )

It's because you're tied down to one single woman for the rest of your life. It's like buying a Porsche, eventually you'll start looking at Ferraris.

It's normal to notice beauty in anything, not just women. I've been married for almost 2 years and I love my wife, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be blind to other attractive women.

reply to post by UnaChispa


Just start looking at the ugly ones. Problem solved.

I've noticed that things that are attractive have some sort of familiarity about them.

Is it possible that perhaps what you are seeing as attractive in other women are, in fact, similarities in them that remind you of your own wife?

Not married yet but hope to get engaged soon.

I've cheated before and ended up getting back with the girl I cheated on. I decided shes the one and I only want my desire to be for her. Being at a University provides a lot of eye candy, and I'm a weak guy, so I realized I can save myself a lot of mixed feelings and unwanted desires by simply not looking. Out of sight, out of mind.

I love my husband dearly and am still attracted to him.

I still drool when Colin Ferrel or Gerard Butler are on a magazine rack.

It's normal to notice attractive people. Enjoy the view, just don't sample the wares.

Originally posted by davidchin
I've noticed that things that are attractive have some sort of familiarity about them.

Is it possible that perhaps what you are seeing as attractive in other women are, in fact, similarities in them that remind you of your own wife?

Now that you ask... I guess they tend to have the same body types. That could be it.

I can see why some cultures have their women wear burqas.

Jk, that is horrible.

Women are beautiful because men need atleast one reason to marry them.
lol
No but seriously, It's ok to notice the beauty of another, as long as you dont lust.

Part of it is the whole, men are visual, women are mental issue.
Plus, it never hurts to look. I point out attractive women to my husband and he is kind enough to laugh if I am staring at a handsome man.
We've been together for almost 17 years. We just follow the look but don't touch rule and it works great for us.

reply to post by UnaChispa

My question to other men who are married: Does it get easier to look the other way or does it get harder with time?

It never becomes easy to ignore beauty. The challenge comes in ensuring you aren't swayed by it. I'm the worst possible person to give you advice on that, but from what you posted, I think you are fine, you'd only be fooling yourself to think you can just ignore beauty.

Hell, you should talk to your wife about it, she's not stupid, she knows you'd look at other woman, once looking turns into lusting and then cheating, that's when it's a problem.

After my husband and I had been together for about a year he told me the same thing. He said that he felt guilty because all of a sudden he was noticing other women and he hadn't since he had been with me. I told him that I was glad he told me that and that he shouldn't feel so guilty. Maybe it was a mistake on my part to tell him it was no big deal, because he's cheated on me several times since then. I know that he loves and wants only me as his wife, but he's weak. He can't seem to say no if a woman comes on to him, especially if he's been drinking.

Anyway, I'm sure it's normal to still find other women attractive. Just don't act on those feelings.

Originally posted by UnaChispa
[philthy snip]
My question to other men who are married: Does it get easier to look the other way or does it get harder with time?

Sincerely,

UnaChispa

That's interesting - I was married for 18 years to a (visually) beautiful woman! I'm not the type of person with wandering eyes... in fact, my wife knew I found beauty in all things beautiful - so as a measuring stick, she'd start asking me who I thought was attractive; whether it be someone out in public, or someone in the limelight.

I guess it was her way of finding out what type of woman I found beauty in - as a comparison to gauge her own beauty really. That whole part of her - I found really interesting. It's that type of confidence that I absolutely cherish and adore in a woman.

Okay, now check this out: it wasn't until after I left her, that I started to really learn about women!

Assuming that women were naturally confident (hahaha --- boy was I inexperienced!), the first woman I dated after my wife... incredibly beautiful woman ---- inside and out. Emerald green eyes... total knock out! Well, it was when I had noticed one of the actresses in one of her programs --- I commented on how pretty the actress was, and holy crap!!! You would think I just confessed to making out with her mom!

She totally lost it! All I said was something to the effect of: "Wow, she's really pretty!" and this girl got really pissed. She started questioning me about looking at "other" women and she started throwing names out to see if I was attracted to them!

Holy mackerel, that was the beginning of my road to really learning about women and the plethora of issues that come tightly packed with them!

Dude... honesty is the onliest way to keep things alive in a relationship! (Hypothetically) If you feel the need to sneak a peek - something needs tweaking in the relationship - but in my experience, it's a 50/50 chance that women are confident and secure enough with you admiring the beauty of the lovely ladies of Mother Earth!

Cuidado!
"Why are the pretty ones always insane?" - Chief Clancy Wiggum

reply to post by UnaChispa


Ive been in love with my wife for a long time 18+ years.

Beauty is only skin deep, (in the way most people observe beauty).

Love is a much deeper thing and I dont think a pretty flower can ever replace a something you truly love.

Dont think I dont notice attractive people. I certainly do and Iam positive my wife does too.

Nothing wrong with admiring beauty or even flirting a bit!

Just stay true to your heart and hope she does too.

Dont forget familarity breeds obsession and strange just breeds. haha

Honestly though, Ive never strayed from my wife (and she is never on this forum to see this) but I have entertained the thought. But thats as far as Ive ever taken it just thought.

And yes it makes me feel like Iam a better man than alot of guys I know who will break their vows on the drop of a hat.

All you can ever hope for is someone who is as true to you as you are to them. Good Luck my freind.

Originally posted by phishyblankwaters
reply to post by UnaChispa

 

My question to other men who are married: Does it get easier to look the other way or does it get harder with time?

It never becomes easy to ignore beauty. The challenge comes in ensuring you aren't swayed by it. I'm the worst possible person to give you advice on that, but from what you posted, I think you are fine, you'd only be fooling yourself to think you can just ignore beauty.

Hell, you should talk to your wife about it, she's not stupid, she knows you'd look at other woman, once looking turns into lusting and then cheating, that's when it's a problem.

That is actually a good Idea. I'll nonchalantly bring it up.

I've been married 19+ years and I still look at my wife and think "Dayuuuum! " Of course there are other beautiful women. It would be weird if you didn't notice but don't let that woman in the red dress possess your thoughts for the rest of the day. True happiness is wanting what you have.

Sort of like pulling up to a light in your 2012 Dodge Charger and having a Lamborghini pull up beside you. You can nod in approval of the fantastic machine beside you and then be on your way enjoying the rest of the day in your fantastic car or you could pout the rest of the day because your car doesn't have Pirelli tires and a 12 cylinder engine. Your point of view determines your happiness.

reply to post by the_philth


That was a funny. Sounds like you were blind-sided.

And yes, the hot ones seem to have a fiery/crazy side to them.

reply to post by lunchmanstan


Thanks, Lunchman.

Lord knows I need the help. Luckily, my line of work doesn't require a lot of female interaction.