My 7 year old suspened for "sexual harassment"

Originally posted by randomquestions
reply to post by coop039

 

I have seen the way parents are dressing their little girls lately, and while some people have class- the rest are buying them clothes that are down right trashy. Your son being 7 years old doesn't have the same mentality as a young adult male or adult male. My bet is that it was just as you said, but some people out there like to start drama. if it was a learned behavior- possibly it was the other male class mates that convinced him to do it- classmates are very coning and like to railroad other kids to break the boredom of school. This just sounds like someone was trying to make an example out of someone- over something innocent and ill harmed. also, kids do stuff, and even us as adult don't know why they did it (most the time the reason isn't as bad as adults thought). Just be patient and stand your ground- If this little girl and her family do in fact feel victimized there need to be a group conference involving you, and that is only if these parents are the reasonable type. If he was just trying to pull up her pants I bet he thought he was helping her. maybe the family should invest in proper clothes and a belt-.

Isnt that the truth! 7 yr olds in hip huggers are not a rarity around here. Parents of minors should bear a little responsibility for what they choose to buy and dress their children like. Like Chappelle said, if youre wearing a whores uniform, its really no ones fault but your own if youre mistaken for a whore and treated like one. Butt crack all over the place from elementary to high school.. we wont even mention if you go the theatre on a Sat! Boys with half their drawers hanging out. Im no prude by far, but I really dont like seeing every girl or womans random butt crack when I go out to eat. I learned that a whale tail was when I was grossing out over a particularly unsightly butt crack thong combo at the zoo this weekend.

Anyway, this story annoys me. 7 yrs old... apparently this "school" and its teacher/principal have no idea how to deal with kids. No expulsion or suspension was necessary in order to guide the childs behavior. If the parents of the girl are having a drama attack.. the school is not obligated to buy into it or enable it. I swear, sometimes I think I woke up and landed in an idiocracy.

reply to post by Advantage

Like Chappelle said, if youre wearing a whores uniform, its really no ones fault but your own if youre mistaken for a whore and treated like one.

You're calling this little 7 year old girl a whore?

Originally posted by violet

Originally posted by coop039

Originally posted by stuthealien
reply to post by coop039

 

sounds more like he was trying to give her a wedgie ,pull her pants up her backcrack,so it may be the case that your son is a bully and was trying to humiliate this girl,i dont expect you to think clearly about this as it is your son ,and as such you can see no wrong in this....
but please try to consider this from all sides,maybe just maybe your son is guilty

I knew I would get answers like this here. As I said, I know my son isnt perfect, but to bully is not something I have ever seen in his character. And even if it was a wedgie, sexual harassment and possible expulsion is just crazy.

I have no reason to believe his side of the story is untrue, he has always come clean in the past when he has .

He touched her in an inappropriate way, which inclined her to tell the teacher.
This tells me she was offended by it. If she was offended, humiliated by it, and I would have been as well, that is the point of why it is wrong. It's just plain wrong, neither side of the story sounds good.

The charge of sexual nature is debatable.

You just don't go around touching people, adjusting their clothing. Its rude.
I would tell my two year old not to do that.

It's intrusive.
If you think it's ok, there in lies the problem.

I doubt they will persue any criminal charges with the police, so he won't have a record like that.

Why do so many people here seem to think that I think my son did nothing wrong? Have you read all my posts? I know he was wrong, and so does he. My issue is the charge that was to be on his academic record, which we took care of. Kids make mistakes.

Lots of hate still on here as well I see. I cant believe this thread is so long.

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by Advantage

 

Like Chappelle said, if youre wearing a whores uniform, its really no ones fault but your own if youre mistaken for a whore and treated like one.

You're calling this little 7 year old girl a whore?

Yes

Originally posted by spiritualzombie
Pulling up a girl's pants for her is not an acceptable excuse.

Let's say I saw a girl with her thong showing in the back. Can I help pull her pants up? Can I help tuck the thong a little lower so it's not showing? What age is it okay to do so? At what age is it okay for a boy to help a girl with her pants without her permission??

The age doesn't matter. Adults need to be clear whats okay and what's not okay. This is a lesson learned.

The kid may have innocent intentions, but the lesson needs to be learned.

At 12 some real changes in your internal focus starts to appear.. Thats when transformers become less interesting and female suddenly interesting/

What lesson has this young boy learned, grow up tense in fear??

Originally posted by randomquestions

Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by Advantage

 

Like Chappelle said, if youre wearing a whores uniform, its really no ones fault but your own if youre mistaken for a whore and treated like one.

You're calling this little 7 year old girl a whore?

Yes

Humanity is lost wth you....

To fix the op's problem at once.

Get those children together after school and talk about it with them. (Thats what should of happend from the start)
The girl didn't liked it, so get them togehter talk about it, move on.

This story is a non story without serious implications.

The path the school has set for the boy, now that has some implications on his development years.
Fear for governments. make them good sheep

reply to post by coop039


The Thread is so long because it strikes a cord one way or another with so many people.
It also speaks to the state of our country and education system in a way.


I have a question, was the teacher ever talked to for stepping over her bounds and putting stress on you by making threats of DCF or whatever it is in your state?

I live in Fl, the worst educational ever, and my 6yr old daughter is in the 1st grade. Her teacher is young and not very educated, with a blame the parents attitude. My daughter has ADHD and this teacher just lets her sit on her own and doesn't make her do her work. They asked me to come in for a parent teacher with the guidance councilor, in which we talk for 2 hrs about what could be done to help her. I told them that when my daughter comes home and doesn't understand simple concepts such as adding single numbers, that's it's a teacher problem, not a parent issue. I have since wrote them a letter stating that we will not partake in anymore conferences with their school because we have lost faith and trust in their ability to provide adequate skills for teaching our daughter. Next year we have decided to try a charter school which is more hands on with teachers trained to handle active children. I wish I could home teach, but as a single father I do not have that option. Good luck! Florida schools are horrible...

whats next...

all comments or action toward another pupil must go through a mediator to evaluate their "correctness"

20 years from now our kids are going to be so messed up in terms of social interaction.

This is where the suits and scientists make all impulse human actions into a court case.

Not cool, another step to ultimate bureaucracy.

Originally posted by ManBehindTheMask

Originally posted by coop039
I read all these crazy stories about things that happen in schools and think there is no way it can really be that bad. Let me tell, IT IS.

My 7 year old son was suspended yesterday, I got a letter from the school stating it was for "Sexual Harassment". Also as a result, there is a real possibility he may be expelled depending on what the little girls parents decide. Also, I am now under investigation from DFS, and have been told told I need to have a phych eval done on my son ASAP.

What was his crime? He grabbed her pants (in the back) and pulled them up because "her butt crack was showing and it was disgusting". Now Im not the type who thinks his child can do no wrong, I know my little boy is not always the angel I want him to be, but to call this sexual harassment is just plain nuts.

Any adivce on how to deal with the school and DFS with this would be appreciated.

Thank you ATS.

edit on 25-4-2012 by coop039 because: (no reason given)

Honestly, I would contact the local news station and report all this information.......

these people and these policies need to be exposed as much as possible to the general population so they can see EVEN IN THEIR AREAS just how bad things are getting......

I hate to say it because i loathe attention seekers........but this is justified.......

People NEED TO SEE that this PC. nanny CRAP.......is hitting them at home.......and its not just some far away issue that only happens to isolated people in far away cities

not only that it puts the school and the people who enforce that craps, fat into the fire and atleast makes them have to answer for their actions

I agree with the one.
You'd have a nice story, and the school would think thrice before ever making stupid judgment such as this one.

I remember when i was a kid, Me and my friend were running up the slide, and I tripped and fell down and grabbed my friends pants, accidentally pulling them down a bit, I was suspended, and my mother beat the living # out of me (( pardon my french)) but it was all an accident.

reply to post by coop039


... Are you kidding me? A kid pulling another kid's pants up is sexual harassment!?
No way.
That doesn't even make any sense.

I had to sign up to reply to this thread as I'm quite shocked at all the people defending this boy here. I'm guessing you're all men and think sexual harassment should be A-OK, because women are good for nothing more then to be your personal sex toys, right?

What the OP described DOES sound like sexual harassment. If someone pulled up my pants because of my buttcrack at work I would be pressing charges the next hour. This is INDEFENSIBLE. I understand that you don't want any harm to befall your child. Nobody does. It's hard to accept that your child could do something wrong, but everyone else here should see this objectively.

It doesn't matter whether he is 9 or 90. The ACTION is what is punishable. If I was that girls mother I would be pressing charges -not out of personal spite, but because that boy needs to learn a lesson. He cannot be molesting women without severe consequences.He shouldn't get jail or anything, of course not! But expelled and punished? Definitely.

Haven't revisited this post in a while.

For those who don't know, I'm a teacher. I've noticed several posts about specific problems parents are having with the school or the teacher. If I can help in anyway, just send me a message. I can help with legal issues or share some positive resources.

reply to post by susan304


This is ridiculous. Firstly, do not make false accusations. I am actually a woman, lol, wow.
Secondly, there is no way this action can be classified as sexual harassment. It's rude, yes (but so is having your butt crack hangin' out), and he should be spoken to about his behaviour and have it explained why it is wrong.
It DOES make a huge difference in his age. The kid is SEVEN YEARS OLD. He doesn't have an understanding of sex, isn't anywhere NEAR puberty, wasn't touching her in sexual manner...
Expulsion for pulling another kid's pants up? You think that that is justified?
And what of the little girl? Should she be punished, too, for having her butt crack on display, because other people clearly find it offensive? She shouldn't dress in such a manner, she is just asking for such attention to befall her. I mean, she's seven years old, she should know better!!! -.-
^ Do you not see how ridiculous this is? ^ Accusing children of commiting crimes... serious crimes that they don't even understand? Should we completely and utterly control the lives of our children, ruin their childhood, crush their imagination, not allow them to play as kids do?
The damage that such harsh accusation and forced adulthood is going to have on the children of today frightens me.
Expell a seven year old for pulling someone's pants up...
Absolutely retarded.

reply to post by breakherlegs


All I am saying is that, yes, this COULD be classified as harassment. At my old job I had seen cases like these. There was one case where there was unconsenual kissing by a girl to a boy in classroom settings (ages 8-9) It resulted in prosecution of the parents and her being sent to juvenile care for several months. I've seen several other cases involving children that had been prosecuted for harassment or assault. From a legal standpoint you CAN prosecute a child for any crime you can prosecute an adult for. Age does not make a difference in crime -only punishment. Not knowing the law does not absolve you from it! Not knowing something is illegal is NO defense in a court of law.

Originally posted by Pigraphia

Originally posted by violet

The charge of sexual nature is debatable.

I doubt they will persue any criminal charges with the police, so he won't have a record like that.

It's not debatable.
Most 7 year old children are not aware enough to preform a sexual based crime.
Honestly the world is going to pot, and this is one of the reasons why.
Stop projecting adult aspects onto kids and then punishing them when they don't act like adults.

He did something wrong, the OP admitted that.
He should be punished, but punished as a 7 year old for doing something stupid that 7 year olds might do.
Treating this as a sexual offense is wrong, and will do more harm to the boy then good.

I swear it's like 1/2 the world grew up and forgot that when we are young we screw up.

As for no record.
They did knock it down to "inappropriate touching", but there is still a record.
Those records follow children until they are 18, and if they screw up as kids do sometimes they can be brought up in school hearings, or criminal hearings.
So from now until the kid is 18 that could cause problems.
Say the OP decides to put their son in a rich private college prep school.
The best college prep schools, actually review the disciplinary records from other schools before admitting someone.
The OP might have to explain the whole "inappropriate touching" incident and that could prevent the kid from getting into a great school.
If they had just made him sit out 1-2 recesses and not play with his friends that would have taught the kid a lesson and it would be done.

Should there be accountability... Yes.
They are freaking kids for crying out loud!
Don't expect them to know right from wrong until they learn the hard way.

Being young and screwing up is no excuse for committing a serious crime. Just like being criminally insane is no excuse for murder or other crimes.

Originally posted by susan304
I had to sign up to reply to this thread as I'm quite shocked at all the people defending this boy here. I'm guessing you're all men and think sexual harassment should be A-OK, because women are good for nothing more then to be your personal sex toys, right?

What the OP described DOES sound like sexual harassment. If someone pulled up my pants because of my buttcrack at work I would be pressing charges the next hour. This is INDEFENSIBLE. I understand that you don't want any harm to befall your child. Nobody does. It's hard to accept that your child could do something wrong, but everyone else here should see this objectively.

It doesn't matter whether he is 9 or 90. The ACTION is what is punishable. If I was that girls mother I would be pressing charges -not out of personal spite, but because that boy needs to learn a lesson. He cannot be molesting women without severe consequences.He shouldn't get jail or anything, of course not! But expelled and punished? Definitely.

What if a two-year-old girl pulled up another kid's pants at daycare because they were falling down? Should she get kicked out of that daycare forever? Should the parents of the kid press charges against the two-year old girl to "teach her a lesson"?

I'm a woman, mother to a daughter, and if a 7-yr old boy pulled up my 7-yr old daughter's pants during one incident, I would never even DREAM of pressing charges, much less demanding expulsion. I would hope the boy would be punished by restricting recess privileges for a day or two, and a stern conversation with the teacher on the inappropriateness of his behavior. If it happened repeatedly even after being told not to, that might be a different story, but that's not what happened here. I'd feel the same way if it were my daughter doing the pulling up of the pants.

reply to post by susan304


Actually being insane is an excuse, their punishments are less sever.
I don't know if you have been paying attention but they might let the guy who shot Regan out because it's been so long and he was "crazy".

Not to mention the age of the criminal is taken into account by judges across the land.
If a 5 year old burns down a school and people die they aren't going to get life.
They will get counseling until they are 18-21.

Honestly if the kid is to young to know what they did is a "crime" they have to be punished as such.
Yes take away recess for a day or two, but multi day suspension won't teach the kid anything.
The punishment is beyond their concept, if they can't understand the punishment they won't link it to what they did.
If they can't link it to what they did they won't learn.

reply to post by susan304

Being young and screwing up is no excuse for committing a serious crime. Just like being criminally insane is no excuse for murder or other crimes.

But yes, insanity IS an excuse for murder. The same is true for being young. And they wont just get a lower punishment. They will not be prosecuted.

The problem is just that this age limit is ridiculously low in the US (7 years minimum, with variations among states). Id say that it should be more around 13-14 years, as is common in Europe.

I think the proper punishment for "sexual harrassment" among children is a slap on the wrist or detention. It has no place in courts.