Lets talk about ego and self-centered concepts

I dont claim to know what ego really is, this is just my definition, my opinion, i respect yours.
This being said, here it goes.

For me ego is the need to be superior to other people.
Ego establishes an hierarchy between people. There is a vertical way in life.
An ego mind wants to climb the ladder, so he is always in competition with other egos, not because he wants to learn or because he wants be useful, no, he wants to be above other people, he wants to be the king.
An ego mind is always jumping between and inferiority complex and a superiority complex because he is always comparing himself with others.
And ego mind says: i am better or worst that joe or john, he doesn't say i am unique, he doesn't say: nobody is better or worst than others, everyone is unique, everyone has its own talent and skills.
An ego mind doesn't want to be a better person because its the right thing to do, because it will benefit him and other people, because it will benefit ALL people (ALLtrusim vs EGOism) he only wants to better himself to be better than others.
He doesn't compete with himself, he competes with others.
An ego mind doesn't really care if the work is useful to others or not, he works to be better than other people, so the work may be bad, but if it is better than the work of others, then its fine. He can reach perfection alright, but only if it is needed to be the best!.

An ego person is different then self-centered.

A self centered is not interest in being better than others, he just looks at himself, his attention goes to himself, a self centered person lacks empathy and compassion, he doesn't know how to listen, he is not aware of the inner world of others, he is not aware of the needs of others. He may wish well to others, but he looks more to himself that to others around him. He may mean well but he is not truly aware of others, so he ends up doing bad to others out of unawareness.

Its different than ego.

What do you think?
This is just my opinion.

I think you pretty much hit it on the head their. that is to me what an ego is, something that wants you to feel superior to other people, almost so it feel like your life is worth something important. To me an go is nothing more than a 'small man' complex.

Ego is the overzealousness of "I" its you mind talking about your body excluding your soul in its entirety.

reply to post by AsuspiciousMANappears


So... can you elaborate a little more? A lot of people dont believe in the existence of the soul (not my case) and they are no ego persons.
Can you explain your point a little better?

reply to post by definity


Yup, ego is not the mind, nor the identification with the body, for me it is just the need to be better than others.
I think there is a lot of consusion out there about this concept, just my opinion though...

In my opinion.
The 'person' is the ego. It is a persona, a strawman, an image created out of past and future 'me's'. There is only one 'i' and it is here and now. All projection of yourself is ego. You have created an image of 'yourself'. That image now has to be protected. It is the creator of all the drama.
It will carry on creating drama until it has had enough drama.
When it has suffered enough and is begging for it to stop it might look to itself to see who is creating the drama, who is feeling the suffering. Who is the one that suffers?

Originally posted by Manula
reply to post by AsuspiciousMANappears

 

So... can you elaborate a little more? A lot of people dont believe in the existence of the soul (not my case) and they are no ego persons.
Can you explain your point a little better?

Once there was a common man who had an uncommon sense. People of his small town went to him with their problems and some others like to be with him and listen to him.

One day a man came and asked "What is Ego? They say its bad for one to have it. How can one over come it?"

The common man replied, "Ego is self-awareness. You need it to set and attain your goals. But be careful because it's like nails on your finger and should never be left to grow more than necessary to be able to hold the grip."

The ego is the medium of our expression whilst we live here in this physical world which some call duality (or physicality). It is also the vehicle of our experience of Life.

ego vs soul
The ego is about image.
The soul is about authenticity.
The ego can’t take constructive criticism.
The soul seeks it out and welcomes it.
The ego confuses itself with the work.
The soul stands apart from the work.
The ego wants to be seen as the best.
The soul wants to keep getting better.
The ego is about the number of fans and followers.
The soul is about relatedness and community.
The ego wants to be famous.
The soul wants to start a movement.
The ego is all about me.
The soul promotes self through serving others.
The ego tries to control the message.
The soul trusts the message to take on a life of its own.
The ego talks.
The soul looks and listens.
The ego is closed off.
The soul is open and transparent.
The ego competes and dominates.
The soul co-creates.
The ego lives from scarcity.
The soul lives from abundance.
The ego cares only about the end performance.
The soul is in love with the process.
The ego contracts.
The soul expands.
The ego is spam.
The soul is useful content.
The ego is hollow.
The soul contains multitudes.

reply to post by AsuspiciousMANappears


New age ego definition... all that is bad is ego fault.. inferior self, vs superior self.
IMHO that is not accurate, we have a human brain and a soul, incarnated, acting as one.
We need to honor both realities, without our human temporary self this experience wouldn't be possible.
Its like a horse and a rider, they have to unite to ride, its not the rider against the horse, they must merge as one, they must be friends not enemies! But the rider, like the soul, must be in command.
The body is not an enemy to be defeated, it is a resource to be used, to be honored, to be respected and loved.
Our animal side, (human brain) is not an enemy, it is an ally, a vehicle, of course it must be controlled, the soul, like the rider, must be in command, but they must act allied as one, as friends.

So, no, ego is not the human brain (inferior self) to be blamed by all that is bad.

Each incarnation has two personalities working together as one: the soul (the rider) and the human brain (the horse).

The horse is not the enemy, it is the vehicle to be mastered, not eliminated.

reply to post by Manula


You have given a great discription of egotism and selfishness, but you have not identified Ego.

I do not define Ego according to Sigmund Freud's concept of the human psyche, nor "western" concepts of Ego, nor any "eastern" concepts of killing the Ego.

I understand Ego as is self-evident to all. I understand Ego as:

Ego Is...

Ego is the influence within our reality that creates and perpetuates the illusion of separation among the unified fundamental energy of existence. Ego is the gift giver of relative and subjective experience.  Ego is the dividing and separating force of existence. Ego allows the many to manifest from the one. Ego allows the infinite pieces of One to perceive a superficial individuality and individual identity.

Ego tugs very strongly on the psyches of conscious sentient beings. In humans, Ego draws psychological influence towards all points of possible separation because that is Ego's job; to separate. In our minds Ego says, "I am this individual, and here is a huge list of all the reasons that I am different than you." Skin color, physical appearance, gender, strength, skill, knowledge, intelligence, nationality, home-town, graduating school, wealth, social status, class, caste, religion, opinion, ideology, political party, entertainment likes, and we even separate ourselves based on sports teams!

The above is an excerpt from the thread I authored:
The World Is Waiting On You To Liberate Yourself From Ego!

Peace.

reply to post by Sahabi


That is a thorough description; I have had quite a bit of trouble discerning what various people mean when they refer to "Ego".

Ego = Separatist.

Thank you for helping me to understand.

reply to post by Sahabi


You are talking about self-consciousness. Is that ego? Is that bad?
We are here to be self counscious, one day we will return to the one, but right now, the one creator wants to live in diversity, so why deny it? He wants it. Live in diversity now, this is the game, to live your soul, that is unique and different from all other souls, why the wish to deny it?

I dont understand, accept yourself, live yourself, do a favor to the creator and live yourself!

Sorry, but this is my humbling opinion about your concept of ego.

Self- existence as one soul different from all other souls is something to be lived and celebrated, not something to be denied.

Of course we are all one, but that one being wants lo live in diversity now, why deny it?

E pluribus unum
Unity in diversity

Originally posted by Manula
Ego establishes an hierarchy between people. There is a vertical way in life.
An ego mind wants to climb the ladder, so he is always in competition with other egos, not because he wants to learn or because he wants be useful, no, he wants to be above other people, he wants to be the king.
An ego mind is always jumping between and inferiority complex and a superiority complex because he is always comparing himself with others.

Ok, that makes a lot of sense to me.

In my present state, I am confused and bewildered by the need for people (in general) to feed this Ego.

I can remember, when I was a child, not caring about being better or worse than anyone else. But, then, at some point, it was instilled in me that I had to be "better" than other people. For years, I bounced between "better/worse than" and "we are all good". When I was fighting with the better/worse, I felt awful and sad and hurt and empty. Finally, I just decided not to worry about it anymore. I can't really remember why I worried about it in the first place, except I do remember feeling a great deal of fear and anxiety related to the "Ego".

A self centered is not interest in being better than others, he just looks at himself, his attention goes to himself, a self centered person lacks empathy and compassion, he doesn't know how to listen, he is not aware of the inner world of others, he is not aware of the needs of others. He may wish well to others, but he looks more to himself that to others around him. He may mean well but he is not truly aware of others, so he ends up doing bad to others out of unawareness.

Its different than ego.

I don't know if the two are so different. Of course, I don't think they are mutually exclusive (either one or the other, never both)... But, it seems like if one is worried about being better than other people, one must be, in some ways, self-centered.

I think about people who are obsessed with making money, who will do anything to anyone at any time to further themselves in the world of man. Clearly, they are self-centered... but it seems to me that they must also have a very strong Ego that fuels them and tells them to do whatever it takes to stay "better" than everyone else.

Very interesting thread.

Originally posted by Manula
reply to post by Sahabi

 

Self- existence as one soul different from all other souls is something to be lived and celebrated, not something to be denied.

Of course we are all one, but that one being wants lo live in diversity now, why deny it?

E pluribus unum
Unity in diversity

I think that the Ego becomes One at a certain point.

I mean, we do have differences physically, mentally, socially, etc. But, I think that if we can recognize that everyone is wonderfully different but also recognize that those differences must exist for us to be complete... Then differences are not really differences, they are just various degrees of One.

Kind of like a pizza that is split up into pieces. Each piece is still pizza when taken away, but together they make The Pizza. It doesn't matter what condiments or toppings people put on top while the pieces were separate. When they are reunited, they all fit together perfectly.

reply to post by Manula


Is it good, is it bad? The ego wants to know, am i doing good or am i doing bad.
I am is just being aware of what is appearing.
Ego wants more or less than what is appearing.

reply to post by ottobot


Yup, ego people and self-centered people can be in one people, but i can tell i know people that are not ego people but are self-centered.
It is possible to dont care if you are better or worst than others but still be self centered, you look at your problems, your wishes, your life, you dont have an interest in other people thoughts or feelings, you dont really pay attention to them, you dont want to be better than them, so you dont even care, you live your own world very hard, but you are not an ego person.

I dont know, both of them have problems, the self-centered is not an helper, he is an individualistic person, he only cares about himself, but he doesnt bother other people trying to be better than them.

And also you can be very ego-oriented and pay a lot of attention to others, you want to be better than others, so you look at them, you try to understand them, but the wish is to be better than them, not to help them...

reply to post by Itisnowagain


"Is it good is it bad? The ego wants to know, am i doing good or am i doing bad. I am just being aware of what is appearing. Ego wants more or less than what is appearing."

You are afraid of the feelings that follow mental judgment. If something is judged as bad it creates a bad feeling, but, hey, no worries, existence is great, be in peace with existence, you don't have to stop judging things, as long as you don't judge existence, love life unconditionally, that is all you need, you don't have to struggle trying to stop mental analysis and judgment in your daily life.

You want to feel good? Feel it, you can feel what you want, just feel it, go to a mirror and laugh about it all, existence is great, why bother so much about the mind?

reply to post by Manula


I am not afraid of mental judgment, i watch the mind. I know it's game.

reply to post by Itisnowagain


If that is your way fine, no problem, you want to detach from your thoughts to be at peace, i understand what you are doing, you are using a method to control your emotions, which is to not identify with your thoughts or feelings: i am not my mind, i am not my feelings - great so what? you are not them but you steel feel and think, that is what we do here on earth, don't deny life, learn to live, don't deny it.

What you need to do is to use your mind to control your emotions and stop being emotionally manipulated by the outside forces you cant control.

You can meditate alright, no problem, watch, observe, but you should also get involved, are you afraid of mind and emotions? Get involved in life, you are putting yourself in seclusion to be at peace, but the secret is to be in the world and steel be at peace.

The path is to learn how to be at peace in the middle of the outside storm, this is heroic, there is no beauty in running away from the storm to be at peace.

Originally posted by Manula
reply to post by Itisnowagain

 

If that is your way fine, no problem, you want to detach from your thoughts to be at peace, i understand what you are doing, you are using a method to control your emotions, which is to not identify with your thoughts or feelings: i am not my mind, i am not my feelings - great so what? you are not them but you steel feel and think, that is what we do here on earth, don't deny life, learn to live, don't deny it.

What you need to do is to use your mind to control your emotions and stop being emotionally manipulated by the outside forces you cant control.

You can meditate alright, no problem, watch, observe, but you should also get involved, are you afraid of mind and emotions? Get involved in life, you are putting yourself in seclusion to be at peace, but the secret is to be in the world and steel be at peace.

The path is to learn how to be at peace in the middle of the outside storm, this is heroic, there is no beauty in running away from the storm to be at peace.

edit on 20-4-2012 by Manula because: (no reason given)

What i 'need' to do....? Are you analyzing and prescribing? Do you think i 'need' your advice on how to live? Really?
Ok. Thank you for your concern.