My Brother is Dying

My brother has terminal cancer. He is in a hospice. It started in his prostate and now has spread to most of his body. He weighed a little over 200 pounds a few years ago. He now weighs about 150 pounds and is too weak to feed himself without help. His red blood count is dropping which means his body is being starved of oxygen. The doctor told us that, as the oxygen is reduced, he will become tired more easily and need more sleep. Then, one day, he will go to sleep and not wake up. When that will happen, no one knows. Maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe a few months.

He turned 70 last August. He was always into exercise and eating healthy foods. He never smoked and drank rarely, but never to excess. Up until about 10 years ago, he would regularly participate in 5k and 10k runs. He would ride a bicycle 20 miles at a time. It wasn't unusual for him to hike into the woods for a weekend carrying a tent, sleeping bag, backpack and fishing pole. Now, he has a catheter and urine bag because he's too weak to walk to the bathroom.

One thing he didn't do was go to a doctor unless he felt it was absolutely necessary. He never had a regular check-up. About a year ago, he went to a doctor because he was feeling weak and run down. At that time, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It was found to have metastasized to the point that trying to treat it would be futile.

Why am I tellling you this? Because prostate cancer can be successfully treated if detected early.

Prostate Cancer Foundation

How curable is prostate cancer?

As with all cancers, "cure" rates for prostate cancer describe the percentage of patients likely remaining disease-free for a specific time. In general, the earlier the cancer is caught, the more likely it is for the patient to remain disease-free.

Because approximately 90% of all prostate cancers are detected in the local and regional stages, the cure rate for prostate cancer is very high—nearly 100% of men diagnosed at this stage will be disease-free after five years. By contrast, in the 1970s, only 67% of men diagnosed with local or regional prostate cancer were disease-free after five years.

If you are a male over 40, I strongly urge you to talk to your doctor about prostate cancer screening. I will be 55 in June and I admit that I've neglected this myself. I am, however, in the process of applying for screening through the Veterans Administration.

Please do it. It could save your life.

reply to post by N3k9Ni


Great advice! People need to be reminded.

My Bro-in-Law passed away this last week from prostrate cancer and it was not pretty, as he did not die in his sleep. He ended up siezing and there was nothing that could be done. It was quite the traumatic event.

I feel for you and your family. My prayers go out to you and yours.

On a more blunt note, you should start planning on how things will be taken care of when he passes while he is still lucid. Planning ones own death or the death of a loved one is never fun but it is a must do task.

I am so sorry for your suffering and for your Brother's illness and condition. I am glad to know you have made an effort to have yourself checked out and that you are encouraging other men to do so.

My Father died of this cancer a few years ago.

I hope you have the time and are able to talk with your Brother about fond childhood memories and what having him as a brother meant to you. God Bless.

reply to post by TDawgRex


Thank you for your thoughts.

Fortunately, he had made funeral arrangements some time ago. When he was diagnosed, he designated one of my other brothers executor and gave him power of attorney.

Well first off, Im really sorry about your brothers situation. My hopes and wishes go out to your brother, yourself, and your family. But also let me thank you for being strong enough to take something positive out of your situation and posting an important and informative reminder on such things. You going out of your way to try and help others and to help prevent this from happening to anyone else is simply amazing of you. We need more thoughtful people like you around in this world. Thank you. I'm sure I speak for the ATS community when I say again that our prayers, thoughts, and hopes go out to your brother and family. Take care my friend and stay strong.

may he be well and comforted by whatever sooths the pain of disease and aging for him, most

we are all dying, some at faster rates than other, some old, some even young, its quite sad but it is reality and part of life.

sucks so many people are stricken with cancer. what caused it, did the doctors say genetics, lifestyle, smoking, military exposure to uranium??

reply to post by N3k9Ni


I am sorry to hear about your Brother, what a great person he is. What more can I say other than that I am here for you, please know that if you need some one to talk with, I am here for you. This is a rotten way to meet, but your story touches me.

I pray for your Brother and hope that when he leaves his body he will feel loved, appreciated and completely at peace.

reply to post by N3k9Ni


Thank you, you are a true humanitarian.

I'll give you a star & flag. Wish I could do more.

reply to post by BiggerPicture


No one really knows why cancer develops. Our family does have a history of cancer and genetics does seem to be a significant contributor.

Never smoked. Never in the military. He was always conscientious about health and exercise. Unfortunately, regular check-ups was not something he did.

I am sorry for what you are going through my friend and thank you for sharing such delicate and personal information with us. I'm sure you'll be saving a lot of lives by having people reading this thread.

Peace & Love!

You might want to look into alternative treatments such as the ones found on this website, can't hurt to try. He's not getting anywhere by doing nothing at the hospital so there's really nothing to lose. That's what I would do at least. Good luck.

reply to post by bl4ke360


Over the past year, he has researched any form of alternative treatment he could find and was using some in the hope that it might make a difference. During that time and in spite of the treatments he was using, his condition got progressively worse.

Screening and early treatment have a proven track record of success.

Thank you for sharing what has to be a very painful personal account.

My aunt had "heartburn" which she ignored for over a year. Finally went to the doc, only to discover the heartburn was actually colon cancer. After a year long battle, she finally succumbed to the disease.

I've played the "what if" game a lot. What if she'd seen her doctor sooner? He told her that she was in the final stages when she was first diagnosed. Perhaps she would still be with us now if she'd gone to the doctor earlier.

I guess the moral to both our stories: when in doubt, let doc check it out. Don't forget or put off your yearly appointments. I hate hate hate going to the ob-gyn, but I'd rather deal with that than end up with cervical cancer.

Hugs and warm wishes to you and your family. I wish I could say more.

reply to post by N3k9Ni


When my father was diagnosed with Prostate cancer his doctor told us that having a Prostate removed is becoming as frequent as a child having to have their tonsils removed. This disease is here for awhile so I agree, go get your self checked out early in life!

Don't have the "not me" mentality or it could be to late.

Peace and love for your brother.

IF you want to avoid prostate cancer altogether stay off eating meat. It is really that simple

look up acidosis and Palmitic acid

link to a news story

reply to post by N3k9Ni

I am very sorry to hear of your brothers terrible illness and the suffering he and your family must be enduring. Cancer is an awful thing. I don't know where you are from but you may want to look into medical cannabis to help him. If nothing else it will give him an appetite which in turn will help build his strength. It will also help ease the side effects of any medicine of therapy he may be undergoing and if nothing else ease his suffering.

I ask everyone here to look into Rick Simpson Oil or Pheonixtears.ca to learn how this simple thing can really turn things around at best and at least dramatically ease suffering at the least. My sympathy to your brother and family at this most difficult of times.

I am so sorry to hear about your dear brother. Thank you for bringing up the importance of regular check-ups, I wish you stength and courage in facing this and I wish your brother peace. Hugs!

So sorry to hear about your brother.
Tough news I know as my dad is fighting stage 4 lung cancer (he never smoked).
My prayers for your brother and your family.
Frank Zappa was lost to prostate cancer as well.
So easily tested and early treatment gives good results.
Men over 40 - get yourself tested! (anytime you see your doc just ask, it's quick and painle - ok, not very painful)

reply to post by N3k9Ni


I just turned 41, and I am like you brother, I think I'll go get checked out. Thank you friend. If this can be prevented, it certainly should. Just about everyone I know has been touched by this terrible disease.

I'm also very sorry to hear this news. I lost my father to cancer.
There was a post on ATS about curing late stage cancer with hemp oil.
It's worth a try! Please look into it.