Life is pointless

Melancholia is an inevitable result for certain indiviuals that are predisposed to questioning their existence. While in its midst, the hollowness and unsolicited dark thoughts that fill your waking hours are paralyzing. No number of trite aphorisms promising relief ever deliver. Anyone telling the OP that he can assuage his depression by internalizing cliches that give other people meaning to their lives has never truly been depressed.

Depression is more than hyperobolized sadness, which is what most non-depressives think it is. There are degrees of depression, but the OP is describing an "Existential Crisis", which is the most complex and unbreachable from of anhedonia, its origin is from within the individual and its resolution comes from within. With this thread's theme of existential despair, I am glad that Samuel Beckett made a cameo

OP, I have been there. The despair at times is overwhleming, I spent a decade of my early adult years going in an out of depressive episodes, all of which were fueled by my internal existential crisis. These episodes were never aleviated by anything external. As suddenly as the fit came on, it would receeed weeks/months later and even though I had not resolved many of the questions that plagued and tortured me while I was depressed, my ability to accept that I might never get the answers I desire improved, and my baseline perception of the world slowly returnedto "normal" whatever that is. Once the depression passes, it seems like a dream, and that you were merely a player in scene.

But the vulnerabities remain because of your questioning nature, so you must never think that the depression is gone. However, once you have been through something once, the next time you encounter it, you will know what to expect, and even though it sucks and dessicates every last ounce of joy from experience, having been through it prior, it makes it incrementally easier.

Depression does have its benefits though. Many writers have expounded on the fact that after a depressive episode, there is an increase in wisdom/ insight into the human condition. The way in which an episode alters our perception is not all bad. Sometimes reality is cold, unjust, and full of illusions as you say. Depression forces the indiviudal to analyze some of the BS we are fed about our existence and role and to see the truth in it. I've started to view my episodic melancholy as dose of metaphysical sodium pentathol. There are truth about existence that are only accessible when one is depressed.

In the western theological conidtion, this was called the Dark Night of the Soul, and it was seen as a necessary step in the development of the character/soul of the individual. It sucks and is terrible and torture, but it means you are asking the right questions. The inisght you will gain will inform our decisions and actions for the rest of your life.

An existential crisis, which is what you seem to be hiniting at, means you are doing something right. Don't stop asking the questions that lead you to your depression in the first place. Do not fear it, allow it to run its course. Anyone who tells you to find God or devote yourself to something greater has never been depressed, so ignore them. Melancholia is a gift and the intangible refinement of your character that results after an episode is more valuable than any material qualia.

A diamond, which for whatever reason human reasons place a lot of monetary value on, is just run of the mill carbon that has been exposed to extreme pressure/heat. You mentioned that we are all atoms, and homo sapiens are all carbon based. Pressure is necessary to turn actual carbon into a diamond. Hardship, depair, tragedy, bad luck, depression are all necessary for we as carbon based beings to refine our character/souls into something greater.

It sucks right now and I have felt the same pain and despair. If I told you that I had a cure for depression, I would be lying. I still succumb to it and when I am depressed, no one can say anything that alleviates my despair. Time is the only panacea. But if you try to view it as a necessary part of your character development, growing pains so to say, then you will be able to learn from it.

Originally posted by GmoS719
reply to post by morpheusxxz

 

You are defeating yourself before you even take a chance.
I'm guessing that you are a teenager. It's just a phase.

I had a similar so called phase where i was depressed for years and frankly my life of 35 years had mostly sucked bigtime with dissapointment at every corner from trying and always getting lesser things than I really want. But I have found some answers why my life is exactly like it is and accept them. Some people have to go thru pretty bad things to learn things. I think the op has the feelings he has for a reason and I think that he will one day find out exactly why he is like he is. He will probably connect soon and after things will not matter as much since he will have an extreme perspective on things.

Some people run into the wall. Some people run thru it and shatters the wall forever. Ones you are on the other side you cannot forget what you find and you are forever changed.

Originally posted by morpheusxxz
My existence does not make any difference in this world.

This is where you are wrong.

While Existence will exist with or without you, you have an awesome opportunity right now. You have the opportunity to participate with that which is. So, you should BE and accept what is inescapable. That's all you have to do to find out that it is worth accepting. Why its worth it is a mystery and will reveal itself to you in time. The important thing to do right now is to just go along with it. Aim for harmony, because that's where you find the point of it all. That's where the glory is. Glory is the point.

The difference your individual life makes depends on how much respect you wish to give to the universe. Respect it by observing its glory; its beauty. See the beauty in all forms because it is up to you to be the one who says existence is beautiful. That's the difference you make. Only you can determine the quality of what you experience. Experiencing it, though, is inescapable.

reply to post by morpheusxxz


I can't offer any advice, as you seem very capable of creating your own, but I can offer my own opinions and share my own overcoming of this depression.

I too have come to those realizations you've stated. Humanity as a whole is destructive, and I wish no part of it. For that reason, I found solace and peace in nature. The further I retreated from human interaction—the monotonous vanity displayed by everyone, the disgusting behaviours of depraved herd-animals—the more I discovered beauty in life again. Knowing that everything is atoms furthered that realization of beauty, as I found myself a part of nature and one with it. I felt paradoxically less alone while wandering in the forest or along the ocean by myself. This moment in my life is where I found value in 'I'; not the mask and costume I wore while back with the herd, but the me discovered through honest introspection.

With this growing love of myself and my creativity as an individual, I soon came to the realization that others as individuals had the capability to love themselves as well. There is value in that love; and also value in capable individuals. There is value in life, if only to be alive.

To put hopes in things that aren't real: the herd, society, the economy etc. only leads to disappointment. To accept other people's perceptions of life and truth, without the attempt to come up with our own, only fuels this disappointment. We are not the unnatural systems held as prevailing doctrines. We are not humanity. We are not the will of billions. We are not our country. We are not our community. We are individuals; individuals capable of generating our own values with our own creativity and love.

Mankind didn't fly to the moon; mankind didn't split the atom; mankind didn't eradicate smallpox; it was the individual, or groups of individuals who did. All it took was one person to generate an idea in a moment of pure creativity. Everyone is capable of this; and I find value in this thought.

There may be no point to life, but it is even more pointless to stop searching for it.

Transmogrification.. Alchemy... Turning the base metals into gold...

The Abyss..

That my brother is the journey you are on. Despair, depression, loneliness, self alienation, indifferent attitude to others in the world around you.. feeling like giving it all up.

You my brother are at a low. You are deep in the abyss.. wallowing in unanswered questions but fear not.

This is what the awakened of humanity have to endure before we find inner peace and happiness.
It is the void.. the darkness that many have been through and emerged from with a new lease of life and energy in abundance to venture out into the world and explore each miracle nature has to offer.

The world of psychology will label you a depressive or bi-polar, they will try to box you into a rational explanation which validates their world view but trust me brother you are a true reflection of the world around you.

Those that ignore true reality live in bubbles that eventually burst and we will each have our time.

Yours in now. You have to go round and round and round in the abyss.. almost until it overwhelms you and and fills you completely with despair and heaviness.

When you have swam about in the abyss long enough eventually you will come out of it. It took me the best part of 6 years but i came out of it.. through determination, will power, faith, spirit.. hope, never giving up or giving in.. always holding on to that last strand of something, anything.. and then one day wham! Happiness came, peace came, love came, inspiration came, freedom came, creativity came, connectedness came and that's when everything fell into place.

Now i empower myself at will, I create my own reality, i treat everyday as a gift to go out into the world and be joyous.. in the reality that is full of despair and suffering, pain and deprivation.. i can now walk out as a luminous being and have profound impact on those around me.. i can help to awaken them and empower them too.

Trust me.. you will get there.. your will come out of the abyss.

Peace and love

not once has he said he,s depressed,nither am i but still think whats the point,why does every1 have 2 say ur depressed 2 understand what ur talking about? I,M NOT DEPRESSED, can,t i say whats the point without every1 saying its just depression?typical reaction.....can,t think of any other reason why we would want 2 know.

reply to post by morpheusxxz


Please read the book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. Even if you are not religious.

To give you a quick summary, it is in the form of a poem, written by King Solomon, considered to be one of the wisest men who ever lived. It starts like this:

"Vanity, vanity, all is vanity and striving after the wind..."

It is deep, truthful and poignant.

Originally posted by morpheusxxz
For past few months, I have lost interest in everything. Every damn thing seems so pointless. Everyone just run around trying to keep themselves involved with illusions to escape reality. There are many threads on this topic all over the web and I read many, but still I am yet to be satisfied with an answer. My existence does not make any difference in this world. So my death too won't make any. We, the product evolution just simply exist. And if we look at the most basic level, we are nothing but a mass of many atoms stacked one upon another held together by a force. Therefore upon my death all my atoms will rearrange and go back within earth.

You may say that I am going through depression but perhaps it maybe that I am loosing my ability to keep myself occupied with illusions. Yes, I still have been trying to just survive and spend my days occupied with video games the whole day. For couple of weeks, it worked but again today I was haunted by the same question. I have cut connection with all my friends and I rarely meet anyone as every single one of them just talk about money/career/other illusions. Three months ago I closed down my business as money no longer interests me. Heck, I don't even like to eat and sleep anymore.

Many say that life is very precious and one should live a healthy life but still what is the point of this survival? Many say that it is actually the lack of love because of which I think like this but love is a very strong illusion and I cannot willingly give myself into it. Many say that life is what we make of it but even if I get myself busy with something, I will start pondering on the very same thing after a few days. I doubt that anyone will have the answer but still I want to hear your views on this.

YOU Have not lost interest in everything freind.You do not know everything therefore its impossable to lose intrest in that of wich you have no knowlage.You may have lost intrest in everything you know about but thats not everything.Please dont lose hope an let despair overwhelm you.You are not what you think you are.You are what you think...Think positive thoughts an positively anything is possable.Video games are for entertainment not for loseing yourself in.Face up to life an life will face up to you.Today is the first day of the rest of your life.The love of your life the passion you are so desprately seeking an missing is just waiting for you to discover it ..her ..him...I LOVE YOU..

If you were as low and down as you say , the one thing that would be the big give away would be your avatar. Having lived with a partner who had severe depression , I have witnessed first hand how nothing matters , NOTHING. You would in my opinion have said to yourself , my anonymity means nothing and uploaded a picture of yourself, the fact you did not shows that your cognitive mechanism is self preservation IE you respect yourself and therefore you are not at the stage of free fall as you say.
I am not advocating you now change your avatar , but do you see my point , when nothing matters anymore , identity would really not matter.
I wish you well with your situation regardless of my thoughts.

reply to post by Droidinvoid

I kind of agree with your comment.

But self-preservation is a natural response. Even peope who commit suicide had a long stretch of fear and self-preservation instances. But somehow they overcame their own nature to do the deed.

Saying that he has some measure of self-preservation is overly optimistic, in my view.

Bottom line, who can say they CHOSE to be in this life? If you can't, then what does that make you? In life, if a man kidnapped you and made you live in a room and gave you EVERYTHING you could ever want so long as you stayed in that single room, should you be thankful? If you complained then the man could say, "Look at everything I give you, why should you decline this?" We're forced into this life and whatever benefits it has to us are subjective. And if we're forced to live in this life then we can't really be indebted to anything here. That's like the man kidnapping you and putting you into the room and along with giving you bribes, he also says, "My daughter is terrribly ill and will die if you do not read these books I've given you and find a cure. You must help us and you should do as you're told." So what do you think?

Get out and exercise. Sitting indoors and playing video games all day would be horribly depressing to me. Don't sign on ATS for a while.

reply to post by sparky31

It would help your argument if you wrote more clearly. Does wonders.

But I somewhat agree with you. Questioning life does not mean a person is sick. The brain can have imbalances, sure, but if thoughts themselves are the source of concern then how can that be remedied? Thoughts are like mirrors in a room reflecting into infinity things we don't understand yet. Popping a pill to fix a thought is like putting a bandage made for human flesh on a circuit board because it has previously given you blue screens. How effective is that going to be? Thoughts are too complex and interwoven.

You probably thought the Universe exists to fulfill something that has something to do with you. When it is the Infinite fulfilling something though using all the animates and inanimates as they are tools. It is a gift, however, to become one with that Flow so as to live forever. To not join, means when you die, you only have your dwelling inside of the time envelope you generated in the past.

reply to post by Dance4Life

I agree with you. How cna one enjoy this reality if they're playing video games all day? Video games can only give you cheap illusions. Reality is the biggest most unimaginably deep illusion that's in existence.

We're not at the stage yet where we can hold the universe in the palm of our hands. The unknown seems to go on forever and it's the unknown that drives us forward; always digging deeper for an explanation.

So long as you have questions morpheous, you will have a reason. But will your body cooperate?

reply to post by jonnywhite


I see your point , but you present a single sided view , not wrong I might add . A person can be at the precipice , remember the film Full Metal Jacket with the drill sergeant who makes life hell for the slightly overweight marine in training , he reaches the precipice and blows the drill sergeant away , in the film we see his character change into a zombie state of sorts , he loses touch with reality.
The OP does not in any way strike me with loosing any touch, a person who was in the mental state the OP says he / she is feeling / thinking would not even post on the forum , the mental thought process would be way beyond the vanity of alerting others to there thoughts via ATS .

Originally posted by smithjustinb

Originally posted by morpheusxxz
My existence does not make any difference in this world.

This is where you are wrong.

While Existence will exist with or without you, you have an awesome opportunity right now. You have the opportunity to participate with that which is. So, you should BE and accept what is inescapable. That's all you have to do to find out that it is worth accepting. Why its worth it is a mystery and will reveal itself to you in time. The important thing to do right now is to just go along with it. Aim for harmony, because that's where you find the point of it all. That's where the glory is. Glory is the point.

The difference your individual life makes depends on how much respect you wish to give to the universe. Respect it by observing its glory; its beauty. See the beauty in all forms because it is up to you to be the one who says existence is beautiful. That's the difference you make. Only you can determine the quality of what you experience. Experiencing it, though, is inescapable.

From one with the Presence to another who dwells in the Presence. The Union has no off switch, this world fades in hue once you Dwell. You have performed the bravest of acts to die to this world. Surrender of every fiber and corner of your spirit is your only desire and option. So very rare to find another.

reply to post by Droidinvoid

Well lets hope that the OP finds meaning before its too late because there's no coming back.

From my point of view, the OP is not far from the precipice. I'm glad he's not there yet.

We're all looking for meaning. We all want to feel special somehow or needed.

I think meaning is in the unknown. It's in asking these kinds of questions and pursuing answers. But meaning is varied and depending on who you ask you can get different answers. Just my opinion.

reply to post by jonnywhite


Right back at ya , with the internet thingamejigg at our finger tips to google anything within reason 24/7 overloading on too much info can cause individuals to come to conclusions that may scar them mentally.
Information overload can easily be achieved on ATS and there are some very smart people on ATS whose theories take you way down the rabbit hole , they talk sense outside the box......BRILLIANT STUFF.

Ohhh my little Oblio everything has a point! Enjoy life, live, love, and dream and don't mess with the bees.

OP Congratulations,
You have no started on the Spiritual path. The 1st step is seeing through the Illusion and BS that everyone is so mindlessly and aimlessly pursuing in a zombie-like brainwashed state. Of course this is only step one.

Now you have to realize, that the mind that labels everything and brainwashed people into zombie pursuits, is the same mind that creates the illusions and labels that everything is BS and aimless and so forth.

Cut to the chase and see that that all labels have to go, all views whether they be good or bad have to go. Realize what inside of you is aware of thoughts. If you Love someone in your life (mother, gf, child, family) seek the source of that Love, where inside of you is it generated.

You are home when you realize a state where there is no longer a you in it. It as all part of the spiritual state. Suicide is a selfish way out that the Ego takes, and then finds after it leaves the phsyical, that it has brought the same problems with it to the afterlife.

There is a state, I promise you this, that is beyond all Illusion, all BS, beyond good and bad, beyond happy and sad, and its all within you.

This state is like a rock that is Immovable and nothing can touch you any longer. There are countless books that give you the blueprints for this many of these are free as pdfs, there are countless youtube vids on this subject,and many others here on ATS have realized exactly what Im talking about.

Basically your just venting, but its still coming from a place that is not you, although you are alot closer to the truth when you begin to see through the all seeing all dancing bull crap of the world