A Day in the Life of Emperor Beezzer [WRC]

A Day in the Life of Emperor Beezzer

As I sat in my throne cruising 3 miles slowly over the surface of the planet, I thought about the series of events that brought me here. Alone, a drifter without any cares, worries or responsibilities, I found the craft. It was just a small portion, erupting from the soil like a doorway into some far away land.
My curiosity, having gotten the better of me, led me to explore the craft. Long story short, it taught me how to use it. Kind of like an autopilot with a teaching degree.
The ship was massive. Easily a mile wide and 2 miles long. It was powered sufficiently to last a thousand more years, armed to the teeth with weapons of unimaginable power.
For a moment the thought that I could bring peace and harmony throughout the entire planet flitted through my mind.

But who am I kidding.

I’m bad.

Reaching Laramie, Wyoming the good folks beckoned me with a radio transmission.

“We have the statue finished, Lord Beezzer”, the mayor of the town stated.

I brought up the image they made of me. 100 feet tall, made of pure gold. It was glorious in almost every way.
“The ears are wrong”, I stated.

“B-B-Beg your pardon, My Lord?”

“I said, the ears are wrong, you made them too big. I am displeased.”

M-M-M-My Lord, we’ll make the changes you desire. Anything. Anything. I humbly apologize for our error.” The poor mayor stammered.

“Too little, too late. You have displeased me.” And with that I ended the communications with the town and armed my weapons. I aimed for the orphanages and children’s hospitals first (I’m not a monster!) then I hit the liquor stores.

All of them.

Then I got bored and just blew away 25 square miles of land. They DID displease me after all.

I slowly directed the ship to take me east. I had instructed the people of London to paint their House of Parliament blue.

But they chose the wrong shade. That is going to displease me as well.

As I settled for my slow trip east (I made the ship go slowly just so I could terrify a greater percentage of people) I made arrangements for a woman to be released from my on-board prison so I could have someone to rape on my long journey.

Then I paused and thought about adding another woman. The last time I had just one, she committed suicide.

And I do so enjoy a cuddle afterwards.

You really are a bad bunny

reply to post by woodwardjnr
I am. Thanks for reading it.

(your comment didn't displease me)

reply to post by beezzer


Very witty story I enjoyed it. I have read a couple of good ones in this contest. Good luck

reply to post by beezzer


When destroying towns on a whim I too aim for orphanages and children hospital first. Not out of any sense of mercy, but because the screams of children are most annoying so its better to get as many out of the way as possible so I can enjoy the other, more appealing cries of terror.

Rape and the killing of children is all very well, but the destruction of liquor stores is just going a step too far.

OK, 1st; Welcome to the party, S&F

2nd; Remind me never to upset you. Just in case.

Job well done, good luck

Originally posted by TsukiLunar
reply to post by beezzer

 

When destroying towns on a whim I too aim for orphanages and children hospital first. Not out of any sense of mercy, but because the screams of children are most annoying so its better to get as many out of the way as possible so I can enjoy the other, more appealing cries of terror.

edit on 6-4-2012 by TsukiLunar because: (no reason given)

I knew someone would understand!

Originally posted by 74Templar
OK, 1st; Welcome to the party, S&F

2nd; Remind me never to upset you. Just in case.

Job well done, good luck

Appreciate that.
Thanks!

Originally posted by DBCooper71
Rape and the killing of children is all very well, but the destruction of liquor stores is just going a step too far.

I added the elements of the liquor store to bring a greater sense of terror.

I apologize.

Ahh...To Beezzer, or not too Beezzer ..that is the question.

So get on ya Beezzer then, and off ya go....

Originally posted by beezzer

Originally posted by DBCooper71
Rape and the killing of children is all very well, but the destruction of liquor stores is just going a step too far.

I added the elements of the liquor store to bring a greater sense of terror.

I apologize.

Lord Beezzer, You may take my wife and children (There's more where they come from), but I will fight tooth and nail too stop you taking my cold, frosty brew away from me...there is nothing that strikes terror in my heart than the thought of being sober....you have been warned

Originally posted by gort51
Ahh...To Beezzer, or not too Beezzer ..that is the question.

So get on ya Beezzer then, and off ya go....

Humble thanks!

Originally posted by DBCooper71

Originally posted by beezzer

Originally posted by DBCooper71
Rape and the killing of children is all very well, but the destruction of liquor stores is just going a step too far.

I added the elements of the liquor store to bring a greater sense of terror.

I apologize.

Lord Beezzer, You may take my wife and children (There's more where they come from), but I will fight tooth and nail too stop you taking my cold, frosty brew away from me...there is nothing that strikes terror in my heart than the thought of being sober....you have been warned

edit on 6-4-2012 by DBCooper71 because: (no reason given)

If Stephen King ever wrote another horror story, it should be along the lines of destroying liquor.

*shudder*

reply to post by beezzer


You are an amazing bunny...you have gone from judge
to emperor in just one week.
Star and flag for you By any chance does Mrs.Beezzer
read any of your posts? The empress might have a thing
to say about the 'prisoners' you keep on board your ship.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by beezzer

 

You are an amazing bunny...you have gone from judge
to emperor in just one week.
Star and flag for you

By any chance does Mrs.Beezzer
read any of your posts? The empress might have a thing
to say about the 'prisoners' you keep on board your ship.

When I read her the story she scowled quite a bit.
Then told me I was insane.

Then she said my shot at writing for Disney is GONE!

Thanks for the complement.

And I do so enjoy a cuddle afterwards......................




I loved it Beez!

Hope to see more of your work,actually. Very Enjoyable.

Originally posted by sonnny1
And I do so enjoy a cuddle afterwards......................

I loved it Beez!

Hope to see more of your work,actually. Very Enjoyable.

Thank you! That last line was a favorite!

reply to post by beezzer


I really think you have great writing skills. Hope you win this thing !

That being said,I will be getting sick this weekend,eating way too many bunnies.........

Originally posted by sonnny1


That being said,I will be getting sick this weekend,eating way too many bunnies.........

Oh, the chocolate ones!.

*whew*