Muffin Babies: How to Raise Them Right?

So I have about 30 baby muffins on my hands right now. I know this sounds crazy, but how do I raise them right? I mean, we've got the beginning of a species here, a species of sentient bakery goods.

We're not Christians, so I don't have to baptize them with icing or anything. One thing that I'm thinking about doing is making a rule against cannibalism. Another thing that I need to do is to make rules of combat because these muffins really do seem to love to fight, and they're very emotional.

So, how does one raise a baby muffin right? Any tips?

What the hell is a muffin baby?

reply to post by Lulzaroonie


Well, there's sentient muffins. Then there's the muffin babies. I'm wondering how to raise them right.

They are best raised in your stomach. If you wait too long, they'll be raised in the trash bin, and you don't want that. Neither does the muffin.

Are we talking actual muffins, or the medical diagnosis?

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck

So, how does one raise a baby muffin right? Any tips?

If you feed them at least one McDonalds meal every day, they will probably be just like all the other kids. In turn, that will lessen their chances of becoming victims of habitual bullying.

reply to post by AnIntellectualRedneck

So, how does one raise a baby muffin right? Any tips?

I got a mushroom tip for ya ...?

you baptize CupCake baby's with icing
& muffin baby's with butter...after a light toasting


then "raise them right" up with your dominant hand
to your mouth hole & take a bite...
hhmm good baby