Really Liking Someone?

So, have you ever really liked someone buuuuuuuuut.....


You don't know why you like them? And you don't even know them all that well?

Maybe you should think about why you like the person? Is it the appearance or something else?

reply to post by EvilSadamClone


If i'm honest, then yes, once..

Last june, it was wierd really, we met whilst camping, our group bumped into theirs, and we just got talking and drinking, before long we exchanged numbers, she was texting me alot but i didnt want to come on too strong because she had a boyfriend, before long she was fed up with her boyfriend, he was treating her like crap, so she asked me to cheer her up, i did, by sending an extremely cheesy text, hahaa!

Before long we were meeting up alot to talk, discuss how things were going, she fell for me i think, then a couple weeks later, we went camping together, i had no idea we would be alone, we spent the night cuddling in the rain really, it was wierd for me, but i started liking her back, i don't even know why, we just clicked i think it's just because she liked me for me

We continued to meet up for a few months after that, she got rid of her boyfriend, spending one too many nights in the local park with him, and him treating her like crap was too much for her, then her friends got involved and well, things just drifted apart from there, i never saw eye to eye with her friends, she hated them at times too, they used to try steal all her boyfriends but she was and still is an incredibly beautiful young woman, but meh.. fate's fate!

What's your story?

I've met people and instantly felt a bond. Pretty cool. Course, I've had the opposite too. Met someone and instantly felt antagonistic.

My guess is we pick up on body language, facial cues, pheromones, etc. but that's just a guess

awwwwwwww somone got a crush???

Sigh, yes, I really like this one girl at this store and it's really annoying because I don't know why. It's nothing sexual as I lead a celibate life. But we do get along really well.

Dang it.

Well, yeah....It's called a "crush". We rarely truly know the people we are crushing on, do we?

I remember a while ago listening to an interview with the fabulous Gloria Swanson (famous silent movie star, most notably known for her role as the crazy old movie star in "Sunset Boulevard"). She said that having a crush on somebody and falling in love is a little like a Christmas tree. At first, the tree is all decked out, lit up and we think it's just gorgeous. We're happy just to look at it.

Then, time goes by, some of the lights burn out, some of the bulbs fall off, the garland sags, and the tinsel mats up. Eventually you see it for what it is: Just a tree.

Crushes are fun, for a while anyway. If you like this person, try and get to know them better. Perhaps it might develop into something more substantial. Or, perhaps, you may end up seeing them as just another tree.

I recently broke up with my Gf of five years, and have been feeling very lonely/depressed, and it makes me not want to trust another person ever again for fear that they may turn on me just like she did. I recently started talking to one girl but it's not the same, and she's hard to get in touch with. I feel like a big machine that has all these parts and gauges and gears and they were all turning to light one light bulb...and now I feel like that light bulb is gone and I'm running on fumes purely based on the fact that I don't know what else to do. Being alone takes a lot out of my life, and I only post this here because I can vent to you guys... My friends are all ignorant, my ex-Gf was my best friend, and now she is gone and I'm left to pick up the pieces while it seems like she won't be bothered in the least that I'm gone. Everything reminds of it. Everything. and it's been two months since it happened.

Similar to when two dogs age together and then one dies, the other cannot go on. I feel like the last dog left, maybe it's time to give up.

Please allow myself to let me make it clear. I am not asking for advice, I am simply curious about other people's experiences with this.

Originally posted by EvilSadamClone
Sigh, yes, I really like this one girl at this store and it's really annoying because I don't know why. It's nothing sexual as I lead a celibate life. But we do get along really well.

Dang it.

This is called "nature".

Welcome to the club.

Being celibate is unnatural.

reply to post by Lapislazuli


You have to give yourself time to grieve, my friend. A breakup is just like a death, only kind of worse, because the other person is alive and off with a new partner or a new life, and you are left behind to bury the remains and live with the memories.

As is the case with all breakups, the one who does the breaking up has already gone through all the emotional work and issues by the time they exit the situation. The one who is broken up with is left in shock and rejection, and they have to do all the emotional work and grieving from scratch. It is the nature of people that they don't leave a relationship until there is some greener grass on the other side of the fence, which, to me, is some of the lowest, most selfish behavior people can exhibit.

Nevertheless, two months isn't long enough for you to be over a relationship that lasted 5 years. Your trust has been violated. I wouldn't rush into another relationship (unless it's just a booty call and you both agree that that's all it is). Take time to grieve over it, and be kind to yourself.

Your light may seem like it's out, but that is just because you have been burned, and it takes a while to get over it. If every one of us who has been burned (and I have been burned, badly, as have many others) just gave up, there would be very few of us left standing. A broken heart sucks, and takes a while to heal.

But heal it will, and you will look back on this time eventually as a time of growth.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


It just hurts way more than I thought it would and after a couple months it isn't much easier. It's like everywhere I go I'm walking through molasses and Time just moves slower.... :'( I really miss her and I know I should move on and be good to myself but I have a hard time remembering that. I feel sick over this pretty often and the worst part is that someone so close to me can say things like, "I tried to fix you."

Makes me feel broke.

reply to post by EvilSadamClone


Not too many of us have experience with crushes when we are celibate. I suppose you could just be her friend, or admire her from afar.....Not much else you can do, considering your lifestyle choice!

reply to post by FissionSurplus


As I said, I am not asking for advice or for people telling me what to do, so please, don't.

Originally posted by EvilSadamClone
reply to post by FissionSurplus

 

As I said, I am not asking for advice or for people telling me what to do, so please, don't.

Well...what did you expect when you started a thread with this title....

Don't get hissy because people are posting helpful insightful information.

Des

reply to post by Lapislazuli


If she claims she tried to "fix you", then she never appreciated you for who you really are. You're not broken. In fact, you sound quite normal. Your ex, on the other hand, sounds like she has delusions of somebody perfect, and she will try to "fix" anybody that she is with. That is not love, that is ownership. I'll bet she does that to the next boyfriend she's with.

If a woman cannot accept you for who you are, then she is not worth keeping. You let this woman mess with your head and she had you believing that you are somehow not good enough. These types of people are toxic.

What is it about her that you miss? You say she was your best friend......A best friend accepts you just as you are, encourages you along the way, and doesn't nit-pick you to death. Do you miss her company, or are you just lonely because you aren't used to being single? Not trying to give you a hard time, just trying to get at the root of it.

reply to post by EvilSadamClone


Well then, what is the point of your thread??? That you are a celibate guy crushing on a stranger?? Your thread is confusing and pointless, and then you get nasty. If you have a point, then make it. If you want to know how many people on this thread claim to be celibate but have a crush on a stranger, I can answer that for you: ONLY YOU.

Congratulate yourself on posting pointless drivel and then being mean when people post what they think. Way to go. There is a word for people like you that I cannot post due to T&C regulations.

Makes me think that you are not celibate by choice.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Well I miss some things, and some I don't.

I miss being comfortable with a person and feeling like no matter what happens in the world you can just talk to them. I miss being totally content just watching T.V. with her. I miss having someone to embrace. I miss having someone to Love.

I don't miss her anger. I don't miss trying to "fix" myself for her. I don't miss her lack of responsibility and direction (we are in college). I don't miss her dismissive attitude toward me after we broke up.

I don't want to Love her. But I still do. I just don;t want to be stuck like this.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
Well, yeah....It's called a "crush". We rarely truly know the people we are crushing on, do we?

I remember a while ago listening to an interview with the fabulous Gloria Swanson (famous silent movie star, most notably known for her role as the crazy old movie star in "Sunset Boulevard"). She said that having a crush on somebody and falling in love is a little like a Christmas tree. At first, the tree is all decked out, lit up and we think it's just gorgeous. We're happy just to look at it.

Then, time goes by, some of the lights burn out, some of the bulbs fall off, the garland sags, and the tinsel mats up. Eventually you see it for what it is: Just a tree.

Crushes are fun, for a while anyway. If you like this person, try and get to know them better. Perhaps it might develop into something more substantial. Or, perhaps, you may end up seeing them as just another tree.

Great response! When I had a crush I really wished I would see him as nothing more than "a tree". When hope fades, it fades indeed.

reply to post by Lapislazuli


"The best revenge is a life well lived."

Been there done that and while it hurt at the time, (I caught her and left her), I can say that she has taught me valuable lessons as well, for which I thank her. I cut coupons nowadays.

Her family tried to hook us back up for four years, but even though I still loved her, and still do to a extent, I will always remember the betrayal. I can forgive, but the memory is still there nonetheless.

She tried to "Fix me" as well. The thing is, I was happy being me. Nothing needed to be fixed...except her perception maybe.

Ten years later I'm happily retired and I don't have to give her anything. It's your life, not hers. Live it.