My letter to the Girlfriend I never knew I had.

So I checked my junk box today (which I rarely ever do) and their was some spam email in there from I believe an adult webcam site.

Standard letter of someone pretending to be a girl that knows the recipient. I thought for fun I would write a reply on here as if I was replying to them, and as if there were a real person to read it on the other end.

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?

No I haven't! That's terrible, I better check my spam filter, sometimes it blocks very important people like you.

In case u dont know who this is its ME PAIGE.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me

haha..

PAIGE!!! uh.. Sorry, can't say I remember you. Were you that girl from Mexico? Or that one that I fooled around with in the bathroom of Stiix Nightclub?

anyways guess what... I got 2 things to tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3 cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..

Congratulations! And hey that's great, were gonna be neighbors and you're gonna be single. And I may not know you but if you know me then that's fine. We should hang out. Especially cause you're single.

I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even help me move my in...are u still on facebook?

Nope! Why... you planning on stalking me? You are coming off kinda creepy Paige. Not that I'm against that. Just making me worry a little.

i cudnt find ui was soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and take me out so u better be around bebe...we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt tell u cause i wasnt single lol...

Well now your free Paige and that's all that matters. And you remember me so well we must have had some special times together. Maybe it was meant to be?

ok so more info about me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv her to death...

Paige, what are you doing? Oh my god I thought we knew each other, now you are reintroducing yourself. This is so weird. Didn't you tell me this all before? Are you making this whole thing up, is that why I don't remember you. I'm shocked.

-redacted due to content-

Paige, I had the impression that you were a good christian girl, that last paragraph was deeply upsetting.

. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent married yet lol..

I don't remember you but I do wanna chat and I am married but I also am a hypocrite so we are covered.

OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people..

You would need much better grammar and spelling for me to find you work.

oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did?

NO.

hmm shud i......????

YEEEEEESSSSS!

ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me..

Of course not!

i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right

Not really!

? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people ...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and
NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol...

Oh god. You scared me for a minute there. I'm so glad you are being genuine.

i actually need help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NONSTOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol.. ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room... if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST U...

I respect the trust you have for me, and I am honored.


-long boring part redacted-

REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours..

Oh my god, I just had a crazy idea, you could email me your cell number and I could call you instead! That would be way better, and then we can discuss helping you move and finding a job when you're here! YAY!


-long part redacted-

kisses xoxo PAIGE FREE VIP BYPASS LINK

I love you Paige Free Vip Bypass Link


...But you have a strange last name.

That was hilarious, thanks for sharing

How long as that been going on?...its kinda creepy lol

Wow... Talk about a girl who is really dedicated to closing a sale on a cold lead. Heck, I'd have complimented her for the sheer time and effort spent, as I turned her down at the very end. I'm mean.....but heck, sometimes ones like this make humoring them quite interesting.

reply to post by boncho


That was epic Boncho...lol..

thanks for the great chuckle....

I have been getting the same email in my spam box from "Paige". It says "Hey babe...are you there?"

The first time, I wrote back and called her a ho. I'm just a middle-aged housewife and I hate getting spam mail from hoes. However, the email kicked back as "failed", so I guess it's just looking for dumb guys who'll waste their hard-earned money on somebody who pretends to know them but is actually just a porno site.

Imagine how many other thousands of "friends" Paige has! LOL. I get a lot of disgusting spam ("Enlarge your manhood by 4 inches!!", "Cialis and Viagra from Canadian pharmacies, CHEAP!", etc), but this is the first one in which it is written like the person actually knows you.

Ick.

reply to post by boncho


Does she have a younger sister?

reply to post by boncho


Explanation: S&F!

Sorry for baiting you boncho ... OL must of sent it to the wrong tango!

My BAD! ZORRY!

And YES ... I AM a good little christian girl ... but don't tell daddy ok ... that is supposed to be a secret between us!

-long boring part redacted-

Personal Disclosure: kisses xoxo PAIGE FREE VIP BYPASS LINK

Originally posted by jesiaha
That was hilarious, thanks for sharing

How long as that been going on?...its kinda creepy lol

Been receiving that same letter for a few months now.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus

The first time, I wrote back and called her a ho.

And Boncho, that was hilarious

I wonder how many people fall for that? Does it really work?

She sounds hot.

I suggest you chase her up on that offer.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
I have been getting the same email in my spam box from "Paige". It says "Hey babe...are you there?"

The first time, I wrote back and called her a ho. I'm just a middle-aged housewife and I hate getting spam mail from hoes. However, the email kicked back as "failed", so I guess it's just looking for dumb guys who'll waste their hard-earned money on somebody who pretends to know them but is actually just a porno site.

Imagine how many other thousands of "friends" Paige has! LOL. I get a lot of disgusting spam ("Enlarge your manhood by 4 inches!!", "Cialis and Viagra from Canadian pharmacies, CHEAP!", etc), but this is the first one in which it is written like the person actually knows you.

Ick.

I'm pretty sure these are sent out automail, and they wouldn't receive the reply if you tried. That's have the reason I replied on ATS!



Paige, are you out there sweety??? Can you read this right now???

Originally posted by chr0naut
reply to post by boncho

 

Does she have a younger sister?

You can help her move with me and find out.

Originally posted by OmegaLogos
reply to post by boncho

 

Explanation: S&F!

Sorry for baiting you boncho ... OL must of sent it to the wrong tango!

My BAD! ZORRY!

And YES ... I AM a good little christian girl ... but don't tell daddy ok ... that is supposed to be a secret between us!

-long boring part redacted-

Personal Disclosure: kisses xoxo PAIGE FREE VIP BYPASS LINK

edit on 13-3-2012 by OmegaLogos because: Edited to fix bbcode

edit on 13-3-2012 by OmegaLogos because: edited to add the long boring part ... and then redact that.

-explicit post redacted-

reply to post by boncho


Sounds like "Paige" has been cheatin on you behind your back with Fission Surplus..

& here's me thinkin she was a keeper.

reply to post by SmoKeyHaZe


LOL! If she's cheating with me, she's a bisexual who likes cranky middle-aged ladies as well as anything with a male unit that has a working credit or debit card.

Probably once a week I get hit on Yahoo from some stranger who wants to instant-message me. I always block them. It has gotten a bit ridiculous, but I guess in this down economy it is to be expected.

There are some spam emails in which you can reply, and I certainly do. I never get an email again from those that I respond back to, because I call them names that I cannot repeat here without violating T&C.

I think we need to talk Boncho, Paige has also been emailing me!!

Apparently she remembered me from Highschool, she had a crush on me but was too embarrassed to say anything back then. She says now shes older and wiser she figures she may as well just throw it out there.

Im willing to be the bigger man and step back as it sounds like you and her have something special and I dont want to get in the way.

Treat her right mate or else Ill jump in and steal her from you

reply to post by SmoKeyHaZe


She sounds hot she sounds like a nut case!

He should consider blocking her emails to him
unless,he likes the really wacky ones.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Hahaha!

But seriously..Where are my friggin' emails?

How come you & Boncho get these affectionate little messages?

Spam or not, I just wanna know what it feels like to be loved..

Originally posted by IkNOwSTuff

I think we need to talk Boncho, Paige has also been emailing me!!

Apparently she remembered me from Highschool, she had a crush on me but was too embarrassed to say anything back then. She says now shes older and wiser she figures she may as well just throw it out there.

Im willing to be the bigger man and step back as it sounds like you and her have something special and I dont want to get in the way.

Treat her right mate or else Ill jump in and steal her from you

That hussy!

I knew it was too good to be true...

The thing that pisses me off the most is her kitten Boo probably isn't even real

Pfffffft