Is FB is Sexualizing Young Girls

As a parent of two young children (my oldest is a girl), I often worry about how my kids will deal with growing up in todays technology filled world; it’s a far cry from the world I grew up in.

I particularly worry about the trends with FB and other social media sites because I’ve seen the horror stories. I read this story the other day and it got me thinking.

Trying on 10 outfits and staring critically at the mirror before leaving the house is practically a teenage rite of passage. But these days, girls know precisely how their peers are judging them, thanks to the “Like” button on Facebook. “When I choose my profile picture, I want people to ‘Like,’ it,” said Grace. In fact, she and her friends are keenly aware of how to goose the numbers. “You get more ‘Likes’ if it’s a model shot and not a goofy picture with your friends,” she explained.

The formula is simple: The more “Likes” you get, the more popular you appear. “Girls don’t just want to get ‘Likes’ from their close friends,” said 14-year-old Lily. “They want to get them from boys, or older kids or kids from other schools who are popular.”

Sounds normal enough....then THIS:

One way to be popular is to be sexy. The group I spoke with could all point to teenagers whose Facebook
pictures are, in their words, “hot” — and also those that have crossed the line into “slutty.” Several admitted to considering posing in a bikini for their profile picture, though they were concerned about getting “a reputation,” and none have actually done so, at least not yet. “If you want a boy to look at you, you do a bikini shot or push your boobs out,” said one of the girls.

link


This kind of thing makes my blood boil. I’m the kind of dad that cleans his guns often…stereotypical, I guess. I’m not sure what to expect so my questions are directed to parents of teenagers (particularly teenage girls). Do you have a problem with the social media sites? Have you been shocked at something you uncovered about your own kids? Have any of you forbidden there use? Am I a paranoid freak??

Thanks in advance!

I don't think I could handle kids in this world, the outside influence is so enormous...
It's definitely not facebooks fault. The question is why do they feel the need to do it in the first place?
Bad values... the sexualised media doesn't help either

Tough times as a parent I can imagine! Keep cleaning that gun

I definitely agree that facebook is sexualizing young girls. so is the media. in fact, the media is deluding everyone into thinking worthless things are important and the important things are of no consequence. it's a sad sad world I have to raise my daughters in.

reply to post by seabag

fact: i don't have a facebook or myspace
fact: i will not allow my children to participate in such things when they are old enough (i will explore alternatives so that they are not socially awkward)
fact: i don't let my children watch most of the cartoons on today.
fact: i don't let my children watch much tv at all!
fact: my children will dress modestly and most likely will not date while in school!

most people probably think i'm a nazi but i'm just taking care of my kids. I'll still make sure they are on the up and up with the rest of the world, but i'm hoping to instill certain values and ideals that will give them an advantage over the people who are letting the rest of the world raise their kids.

so bravo! keep it up. your kids might have issues with it now, but they will respect you once they learn what is respectable in their own terms.

reply to post by Swizzy

I don't think I could handle kids in this world, the outside influence is so enormous...
It's definitely not facebooks fault. The question is why do they feel the need to do it in the first place?

It’s not FB’s fault…it’s societal and peer pressures.

Bad values... the sexualised media doesn't help either

Nope! But I can control that more easily.

Tough times as a parent I can imagine! Keep cleaning that gun

Don’t let these times discourage you from having kids…I wouldn’t change a thing! But I will most definitely keep the guns clean!

reply to post by seabag


I think the most important part of that is:

Several admitted to considering posing in a bikini for their profile picture, though they were concerned about getting “a reputation,” and none have actually done so, at least not yet.

This is time in the kids life when they decide who they want to be. They will have to weigh all the options and some will make bad choices and some good. Some will learn lessons from their bad choices and some will miss lessons from their good ones.

It's all part of growing up.

But social pressures that make them do what most adults consider "bad" also make them do good. Part of the reputation kids receive can be from any extreme one way or the other.

We were hard on each other in school and made fun of each other for any slip up, and it made us who we are today. (Surprisingly a lot of my friends are dead not sure what that means... )

In any case though, growing pains...

reply to post by couldbeanyone

I definitely agree that facebook is sexualizing young girls. so is the media. in fact, the media is deluding everyone into thinking worthless things are important and the important things are of no consequence. it's a sad sad world I have to raise my daughters in.

Well, I hope to hear some other experiences so I can better prepare for what might be ahead.

I still have a ways to go before my daughter gets on a computer.

I like to be ahead of the curve!!

reply to post by seabag


should probably start checking out the communes just kidding. but it looks like we are going to have to become the examples if we want anything to change.

reply to post by couldbeanyone

fact: i don't have a facebook or myspace
fact: i will not allow my children to participate in such things when they are old enough (i will explore alternatives so that they are not socially awkward)
fact: i don't let my children watch most of the cartoons on today.
fact: i don't let my children watch much tv at all!
fact: my children will dress modestly and most likely will not date while in school!

most people probably think i'm a nazi but i'm just taking care of my kids. I'll still make sure they are on the up and up with the rest of the world, but i'm hoping to instill certain values and ideals that will give them an advantage over the people who are letting the rest of the world raise their kids.

so bravo! keep it up. your kids might have issues with it now, but they will respect you once they learn what is respectable in their own terms.

I always thought I would be as you described…that’s how I was brought up. But I also want to make sure my kids get to socialize and learn how to interact using social media and technology.

I’m old school…it’s going to be a struggle!

Vigilance!!

I have a thirteen year old daughter. She's on fb, all her friends are on fb. There's always drama from someone talking smack or commenting on photos or something. We have her password and I regularly check up on her comments and photos and make sure she's behaving.

I sympathize. I raised a girl child before the Internet, but I had my own FidoNet BBS at home. My daughter would get on there and I saw no real harm. Then one day she came to me and said, "Dad, there's this guy I've been chatting with and he wants to come to Seattle to meet me." The problem was that my daughter was a very well-spoken, even erudite, 12 year old and this guy was 20.

Of course I bailed her, but it really taught me how this online stuff can be quite deceptive. Was my daughter being deceptive? Maybe, maybe not. Her language skills surely helped create the situation regardless. But it's not like the days when you knew everyone in the neighborhood. The bad guy on the other side of the tracks could be a world away.

Frankly, I think that Facebook is addictive to kids and not a good thing overall. I erased my account entirely, and I am an old grownup. You have every right to be concerned here.

reply to post by seabag


yeah, my parents treated me like an adult when i was 15 (I was likely more mature than they were but that is beside the point...) I struggle with it. i don't want to be a nazi. i want to be cool. but i want to be respected. i want my children to be respected. i made a lot of mistakes that i'm going to have to let them make too, but i want them to be educated. i plan on making a point to allow them to socialize but at the same time i do not want them trying to impress a boy by pushing out their boobs! it's a struggle and a fight in my mind, but at the very least i will do my best.

reply to post by boncho

This is time in the kids life when they decide who they want to be. They will have to weigh all the options and some will make bad choices and some good. Some will learn lessons from their bad choices and some will miss lessons from their good ones.

It's all part of growing up.

But social pressures that make them do what most adults consider "bad" also make them do good. Part of the reputation kids receive can be from any extreme one way or the other.

We were hard on each other in school and made fun of each other for any slip up, and it made us who we are today. (Surprisingly a lot of my friends are dead not sure what that means... )

In any case though, growing pains...

I hear ya! But you know it’s different watching your kids fail or make mistakes. Also, there are MANY more ways for predators to take advantage these days…and I dare say MORE PREDATORS.

reply to post by imawlinn

I have a thirteen year old daughter. She's on fb, all her friends are on fb. There's always drama from someone talking smack or commenting on photos or something. We have her password and I regularly check up on her comments and photos and make sure she's behaving.

That’s the way to go…

But do you think she has/could have an alternate FB?

Paranoia on my part??

I guess we've gotta trust but verify. We'll never know everything and its probably best that way!

As a teacher, I have lots of former students who are friends on Facebook.

It's really sad to see some of the pics both sexes post.

For the girls, it's always semi-provocative attire. Low cut blouse, short shorts, etc. Even worse are the poses. Some even take pics of themselves lying on a bed.

Boys are just as bad. Some pics with shirts off, flexing, that sort of thing. But also lots of gang symbols flashed, or implied violence.

Some of the more outrageous photos, I've called parents and talked to them about it. It always amazes me that the parents had no idea it was happening. Not to mention the naive things they post. One girl actually posted she would be home alone for the next couple of hours. I messaged her and explained that was a trifle dangerous; her reply was "lol I have a bat"

reply to post by smyleegrl

Some of the more outrageous photos, I've called parents and talked to them about it. It always amazes me that the parents had no idea it was happening. Not to mention the naive things they post. One girl actually posted she would be home alone for the next couple of hours. I messaged her and explained that was a trifle dangerous; her reply was "lol I have a bat"

WOW!

Ya, I expect some stupidity…after all, I was a fool in my teens (through 30’s).

My parents used to tell me that whatever I did as a kid I would get back 10-fold when I became a parent. Let’s just say…it wasn’t a deterrent.

Thanks for the info!

reply to post by schuyler


i hope you reported this predetor to the police,some kids might not have told there parents and went to meet this siko and probly hundreds like him i bet he was older than 20 too

reply to post by seabag


Making mistakes is part of growing up.

But stuff posted on the Internet is there forever... Costly mistakes.

My five yr old loves playing on Disney.com, nickjr,com, etc. One day he came and asked me to go watch a really funny show with Mario.

It was a YouTube cartoon of Mario and Luigi being....VERY affectionate.

The parental block was installed twenty min later. Only thing is, I can't remember the pass code so everyone's blocked

Maybe its the NATURAL hormones sexualizing teenage girls, like very other animal that reaches sexual maturity.

reply to post by RealSpoke


well.... that could be something too... the hormone they add to milk & dairy these days has been blamed for girls developing early