help!!! advice needed urgently!!!

it was about 2 years ago this girl moved in 2 doors down the road. when i first saw her i was like !wow!. about 10 months ago she started coming out.me and my friends got to know her. one of my friends is a d***, but for some reason, she went out with him. after 9 months of abuse, both physical and mental, they split. during this time, she had been giving off signs to me that she liked me, i had also been giving off certain 'signs'. since then i feel we have become closer than we have ever been.
3 days ago, she came back from a party drunk. we got talking, and then she just kissed me out of the blue. she then tryed again but i refused (reluctantly) because she was drunk. she got angry and i said we'll talk tomorrow. now, im a VERY VERY shy person and need to know what to do. i tryed talking, but the questions that i wanted to ask most i couldn't. i guess i was scared. the only place i could think of going to for personnal advice was here.
i need to know what to do. what do you think she feels about me. any tips for overcoming shyness??? and, most importantly, WHY ARE GIRLS SO CONFUSING???? aaarrrgggghhhh!!!!!! so frustrated!!!!! :bnghd:

thanks in advance,
vishnu

i think it was nice and a quite manly of you to refuse her advances while she was drunk. Hopefully she will realize the same thing now that she is sober.

As for how she feels about you, well she is obviously attracted to you or she wouldn't have kissed you. Be a gentleman, and tell her exactly how you feel about her and why you refused her advances, so she doesn't think it's something else. Just be yourself, you'll be fine.

You are very fortunate. I'm happy for you, you got somebody who likes you!

Be zen. Don't act, react. Go to talk with her, then listen.

DE

You did the right thing and again think about it, do you think that if you were another boy when she got drunk she would have done the same?





[Edited on 20-9-2004 by marg6043]

Yo...your profile says you 16....how old is she? and shes coming home drunk fomr a party?? Kids (even though I am one) have a few too many issues these days.

Do what WorldWatcher said...it works.

Wow thats soo romantic!!
In my sense of romance that is.

+

What a gentleman!!

You may have to point out right at the beginning that you were not rejecting her, you were thinking of her. People hate being rejected, so she may be upset, not knowing your intentions. Good luck.

Yah just talk to her and tell her how it is... honesty is the only way to go... you cant sit and wait for it to some to you (this may work from time to time, but the best results come from pro-active action)... go and talk to her and say you werent rejecting her but you were concerned about her coz she was drunk, ask if she really does like you and see how it goes from there...

Oh and watch your friend she dated doest get angry at you, unless you dont actually want to be his friend, coz then dating her is the best way to lose him.

P.S... who wasnt getting drunk at 16?:w:

wow thanks for all your supportive replys.
she is also 16. like me, she has come from an 'abusive' background. her dad was often drunk all day, even at work, so i can understand her getting drunk this young.i, on the other hand, will probably not get drunk (yet), for i have seen the effects of alcahol, nor will i smoke, because my grandfather has emphysima(sp?). she smokes and is trying to give up, and she only drinks on rare, special occasions.
anyway, i have decided to go and talk to her tonigt. her old bf hates her anyway, and he is sure that we are going out now even tho we are not! so i dont think ill have problems with him!

thanks again,
vishnu

Yeah, refer to my thread "Why are women so hard to read?" . It was good of you to not kiss her. I don't drink either. I'm 17, and don't go to party's or get drunk of anything. It's just not worth it. I'm also a christian, so staying a virgin for as long as possible (Gonna get quite difficult when I'm out of high school haha ). You should just talk to her. But be warned, women ARE hard to read! I know many girls who I thought were inerested, then they weren't...or maybe they were...I couldn't f-ing tell!!!! If she kissed you, then she probably is attracted. Of course, she was drunk. I don't go out with women that party all the time...don't wanna get dragged into that, but that's just me. Go for it

theres nothing wrong with getting drunk when you're young. Ive been drinking since i was 16, and on my 16th birthday party i got wasted and wont be getting that drunk again, only time i have puked too. But its good fun, im not saying drink by yourself or get drunk every fking day, but don't be harsh or critical of others who drink at parties when you havent tried it. They are still teh same people, and a lot of people say alcohol doesn't change you, it just breaks down some barriers, i.e shyness. im INCREDIBLY shy normally, but learning to change that lately. But when i drink i relax and feel more comfortable. So it seems like she does really like you, and like others have said, talk to her and tell her you werent rejecting her.

Herman...

Harder to keep your Virginity outside of high school? Are things that different over there than down under? I had trouble keeping mine untill i turned 15! High school was the easiest place to pick up for me... then again i havent been to uni yet...

Youngin...
I think here in AUS its expected for the young teen folk to get plastered occasioanlly... its a social understanding i think... Over there in the states they think differently about these sorta things

yeh i can understand that living overseas part of my life too, hmmm. but i think its because our country aren't that tight arsed or religious, pardon my language, But i think its more of a class thing than a culture thing, especially when the culture isn't totally different. for example in the US, or England, working class people are probably into underage drinking more than in a country such as, vietnam. just an idea im not saying im right though.

I know what you mean, i grew up in malasia and brunei (i moved here when i was 9 so i didnt really get to experience drinking anyways) and i know underage drinking is pretty much unheard of there. I've gone back to visit and only the people out of school drink... admittedly being islamic countries may influence that a little as well (muslim arent supposed to drink alcohol).

But yeah Aussie culture is pretty relaxed, and i guess i live in the western suburbs of sydney (not sure if your know much about the good ol' western sydney), where drug use and underage drinking is pretty much the norm in alot of social circles

yeh thats the same as the inner west

good old westies!!!:w::w:

hahaha yep, cant wait to hit the tommorow night after graduation

:w::w::w:

Just finished high school! Congrats! Good luck with the HSC dude..

I just realised we've kinda hi-jacked this thread... but i think we're the only ones on right now anyways.

haha yep maybe we should move to a U2U? lol