My problem is im so different than the rest of my family. They love me and i them, but they just consider me different than they are. So i cant
discuss anything with them, any words that come outta my mouth is automatically disclaimed.
I tried to help my brother but he couldnt grasp i was trying to help, when he was in jail i wrote to him. Trying to get him to see the light, to
change his ways.
To see the bigger picture. What i got in return was a hate letter. Yelling at me and cursing me. He didnt understand i was trying to help. He took it
as a attack on him, or on his personality. IDK So i didnt write him back and he got even more angry with me.
My thinking was just to let him be, eventually he would come around. How i regret not writing him back. Just to say hi, the weather is nice over here
and such.
I come from a poor family, a criminal for a father and never knew my mother. My father raised my brother and i since i was 1. I never really knew my
mother and i had a sister but she lived with her. Of and on throughout my life i would see her for an hour. when i was seven or so she came back to
live with us for almost a year.
So its hard now im an adult to be positive towards my family or even having a positive outlook at life in general. My father was a heroine addict most
of my life growing up. Drinking booze and getting wasted at night.
I remember one 4th of july we where at my auntie's house for a BBQ, next thing i know my dad stabs my uncle and he is so drunk he fell of the porch
breaking his leg.
A few weeks later he ripped the cast off himself to take care of us. I was always a spiritual person but my family being who they where did not
nourish this. I did it on my own. I read the bible growing up catholic, but certain things would never make sense.
I would eventually find more spiritual books and more. I felt great knowing that there was something beyond this life, something amazing out there. i
yearned for it, i immersed myself into spirituality. And at the same time grew distant from my family. I was becoming weird to them.
I would try to discuss the things i was reading with them, only to be told i was crazy. Eventually i would stop telling them things.
But i never gave up. I would try to copy a few pages and leave it for my dad to read, only to find out he would just throw them out.
I learned it was best just to keep to myself but at the same time this would only put me farther away from them.
I eventually moved to New Orleans and lived there for 3 and a half years. My daughter was born there. We moved back home a month before Katrina, lol
something spiritual afoot. But we moved in with my dad who at this point in time was using crack heavily, but i had no one else to stay with till i
got a job and a place.
It was horrible. He would stay up late smocking crack in the house with my daughter sleeping in the room next to him. She was 1 and a few months. He
was smoking so much. That i confronted him late one night while he was hallucinating from staying up so long. And we fought. He called the police and
we left with no where to go. But he called us a few hours later and told me to come home because he knew we had no where to go. We moved the next
week.
So with that said, i eventually came to the conclusion my family was bad for me. As much as i loved them i was going to have to let them go. And so i
did. Didnt speak to any of them for a good 3 years. Only to be awakened late late one night to my girlfriend saying your sister is calling me. And she
just kept calling until she answered.
My girlfriend says she wants to talk to you, but im tired and say just see what she wants.
She says your brother is dead, he hung himself. And all in one night was reunited with my family. It wasnt fun.
But on a lighter note my dad has been drug free for a year, and i can most likely he wont return to them. Im now on almost daily speaking terms with
him. And will still try to get him to see bigger truths.
I havnt spoke to my sister or mom due to me having no vehicle, and her living on the other side of them moon.
I forgave my father and mother a long time ago, but cant seem to get around that statement. You made your bed now lye in it. They all choose their
path's and i choose mine.
But to agree with the original poster's OP. I do see a change in the wind and a lot more people looking inward. It will be interesting how this is all
played out!
edit on 27-2-2012 by Haites because: (no reason given)