Frustrated, drained, and tired with trying to connect/ascend

Originally posted by prisoneronashipoffools

I admit to being human. I have a compulsive personality which caused me to drink a lot at one time, watch pornography, eat bad food, ect, but I made efforts to CHANGE that. I refrained from all of it for several weeks and meditated regularly. I did not experience significant results other than craving these things. I have regressed back to old habits, then tried this again, and then once again regressed. If I felt there were ANY hope, ANY light at the end of the tunnel, ANY love being received by higher self, group souls, or higher entities I would have motivation to keep going. As it stood, I was just starving for good food, sexually repressing myself, and craving all of the things that, while temporary, at least made me feel better.

reply to post by Subconsciously Correct

 

Oh no OP, several whole weeks! haha. Sorry I did not mean to be flippant, but it actually takes a good while to begin to reprogram neural path ways, especially ones that have been reinforced over and over again, throughout your life. Neural pathways are actually the basis for mental cravings. In other words every time you have a specific thought, it creates a neural pathway, then ever time after you have that thought it reinforces that neural pathway and eventually, the pathway becomes ingrained to a point that it becomes a path of least resistance through your brain, so to speak, thus causing you to entertain those thoughts more then others.

Now, meditation can allow you to begin to dissolve those neural path ways by short circuiting the associated thought related to them, but it takes a great deal of time. I mean can you really expect to spend years of your life laying down a neural pathway and reinforcing it and then dispel that pathway in a couple of weeks? Neural pathways and mental cravings don't instantly subside, they only fade slowly over time and only when you don't reinforce and feed them.

Really, I don't think you have given it enough time, for your cravings to fade and they do eventually. In any case, if I were you I would worry more about getting rid of old habits that you don't want, then worrying about ascension and enlightenment etc, since there is one thing that most people seeking enlightenment fail to realize and that is there is no becoming enlightened, only realizing that you already are.

Here is a nice old zen story about the idea:

Zen story about seeking enlightenment

edit on 24-2-2012 by i because: typos

edit on 24-2-2012 by prisoneronashipoffools because: typo

edit on 24-2-2012 by prisoneronashipoffools because: typo

I have discussed and stated my addictions ARE my main focus. I had been diagnosed with OCD in my early childhood and have improved to the poor.t where I am far from OCD now, but I still have my issues. Im beginning to think my addictions and self-acceptance are why I'm here in this life right now, but it still is very difficult for me. The reason I regress is because I'm surrounded by them every day and build up these cravings as I lack these things. I would meditate, ask what I can do to keep from giving in. I would keep going for a while and then eventually fold. I have to find a way to keep going , but I feel weak in this instance. I've repeated this same cycle a few times now. It's tough to remain positive. At this point I'd have to start all over again.

reply to post by smithjustinb

All I'm saying is, is someone thinks they are seeing higher levels of reality, then that is because they are. Who are you to tell another how to define the meaning of their experience? All are free to define the meaning of it however they want, and NO! definition is any more or less valid than another

who am i ? just an observer , giving his two cents .

definitions are less valid then others.

Examples.

You tell me unicorns live on the clouds , when they sweat , its what we see as rain.

but i give you another definition of the same phenomenon.

now , can we conclude one is less valid then the other? or just ignore it , and say "well you never know"

clearly we have valid and invalid examples right here .

reply to post by sarra1833

when it all comes down to it, and each personal beat is indeed correct for that person. .

oh yea ? how about a pedophiles "personal beat" ? we lock them up for theirs.

how about a person who practices beastiality ? hows that personal beat going ?

What about one who loves to slaughter people lol

Where is the line for personal beats , and just plain crazy , and it hurts society because they wanna also express their personal beats.

We just gotta call out the wolfs sometimes to bring attention to it , and help warn others what awaits them down the dirty old path!

Originally posted by Subconsciously Correct
At least unlike most I attempt to meditate, look within, help others, and seek guidance.

Perhaps it is time to stop seeking guiding others and instead help yourself and learn how to guide yourself? Then maybe you can become that person to others and teach those who want to learn how to guide oneself.

I remember a Hindu parable that I heard once....

A pilgrim was speaking to a deity that was in a tree. He asked the deity; "how many lifetimes will it take for me to attain Nirvana." The deity pointed to the thousands of leaves on the tree and said; "as many leaves as there are on this tree." The pilgrim jumped for joy and said; "only that many lifetimes!?!"

Patience....

you know what helps me in any situation of frustration and anger....laugh

Humor is the greatest tool we have for finding peace with ourselves and our world.

I have been burned out so many times, I just realized one day the comedy of it all. I have been smiling since.

I have my bad days and my temper to deal with. But in the end I can always just laugh at myself. It has brought me closer to happiness than any meditation or guided exercise, and trust me I have spent many many hours trying EVERYTHING.

IN the end the purpose is to be happy. That does not take enlightenment. It just takes the ability to not take yourself so seriously.

when in doubt, laugh.

I have discussed and stated my addictions ARE my main focus. The reason I regress is because I'm surrounded by them every day and build up these cravings as I lack these things. I would meditate, ask what I can do to keep from giving in. I would keep going for a while and then eventually fold. I have to find a way to keep going , but I feel weak in this instance. I've repeated this same cycle a few times now. It's tough to remain positive. At this point I'd have to start all over again.

reply to post by Subconsciously Correct


Very good, if the addictions are your main focus, then the answer becomes much simpler, you simply have to resist the cravings.

EVERYTIME you have a craving, immediately stop and redirect your mind, if clearing your mind is a problem then just find anything to replace it and eventually you will find the cravings will very slowly; and yes it's a slow process, but they will fade eventually.

And I am not being facetious it is a technique I have effectively used to overcome bad habits in my own life, so it does work.

As, far as having to start over again, don't sweat it, because if you have backslid into the same old habits again then your already back at the beginning anyway and you won't lose anything starting over.

Another thing is don't focus on the goal and don't worry if the cravings are coming back, just simply treat it on a case by case basis, ie every time you have a craving short circuit it and eventually the cravings will fade. And speaking from my own personal experience, I found that it is a slow process that takes a great deal of willpower but it can be done.

It is basically is just small steps. For example, first you will have the cravings every few minutes, usually when you start to short circuit them they do increase in frequency for a time, but they slowly begin to come less and less, from cravings every few minutes, to a couple of cravings an hour, to a couple every few hours, to a couple everyday and ect until finally they do stop.

It's a long road though, but I am sure it took just as much time forming those ruts of thought in the first place through indulging them. There is no quick fix and no easy out, but I wish you luck and say it can be done.

reply to post by Subconsciously Correct


I have had similar problems in past. For what it is worth I began reciting the "Our Father" again and again and am pleased to say that the desire to do what I truly did not want to do simply faded away. Some will say that reciting anything over and over again is a form of meditation and that is fine. But in 13 years, this was the only solution that worked for me. Hope this helps.

You're closer to awakening than ever before. It's the failure to change oneself for the better that initiates true spirituality and awakening.

The point of ascension is not to be a better person or even a different person to the outside world. It's to find out that you are the very thing you are looking for. You are IT.
You might want to check out Alan Watts videos, he can shed some light for people like you, who are approaching an advanced stage of awakening. Now that you have muddled and failed at your own attempts to orchestrate your OWN awakening, you are ready for the real deal.

You are not off the path, you are finally finished with it. Learn the next step...

Thanks to all of you for your replies thus far. Some great points have been raised. I hate starting a thread like this, especially on a forum that tends to focus on those who are already attaining. but bringing this up to my friends/family around me is almost pointless because these sort of discussion topics are rare in today's society. This site is the only place I know of where these sort of conversations are typical.

reply to post by seedofchucky


If you understood what you were talking about you would also know that there are two golden rules to all existence that someone achieving or having achieved enlightenment follows:

1 - Do nothing that causes harm to others.
2 - Do nothing that causes harm to oneself.

So please, do not suggest that we enlightened/aware/awake people are in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM CONDONING the types of negative behavior that you have listed here.

Namaste, and I really hope you find your way.

reply to post by EarthChilde

So please, do not suggest that we enlightened/aware/awake people

lol . is all i have to say to that . Your so enlightened and awake you've blinded your self.

1 - Do nothing that causes harm to others.
2 - Do nothing that causes harm to oneself.

lying to people , about different levels of reality is great harm to others.

Lying to ones , self about levels of reality that does not exist , then tryign to preach it to others also is harmful.


Secondly here is a gread thread for you namaste people. You should have a read. It might give you some hints about double standards and being full of hot air

www.abovetopsecret.com...

An Enlightened Master is ideal only if your goal is to become a Benighted Slave.
Robert Anton Wilson



.....

namaste , may peace and light be with you

reply to post by seedofchucky


it could also be argued that your position on this matter also presents difficulties regarding truth and lies. by stating there are no levels and it is all lies has imo qualified you as master of reality. now that is one big responsibility you have taken on. by definition you claim to know all that is, has been and will be.

i would appreciate any and all facts you have in your knowledge base to prove your stance that there is nothing other than this level.

regards fakedirt.

Originally posted by seedofchucky
reply to post by smithjustinb

 

All I'm saying is, is someone thinks they are seeing higher levels of reality, then that is because they are. Who are you to tell another how to define the meaning of their experience? All are free to define the meaning of it however they want, and NO! definition is any more or less valid than another

who am i ? just an observer , giving his two cents .

definitions are less valid then others.

Examples.

You tell me unicorns live on the clouds , when they sweat , its what we see as rain.

but i give you another definition of the same phenomenon.

now , can we conclude one is less valid then the other? or just ignore it , and say "well you never know"

clearly we have valid and invalid examples right here .

That's not exactly what I mean.

I mean definitions of quality of experience, not particular constituents of experience.

"Divine" is just a word to define a certain quality of an experience. "Light being" is a particular constituent. Now I can't be sure there is no such thing as a light being, nor can I be sure there is no such thing as a unicorn, but if there is, I'm sure it has a scientific and logical explanation.

There are too many unknowns for any of us to deny what someone says they experienced that might lie outside of common knowledge..

First off, stop TRYING. Trying never gets you anywhere. Doing does.

The only thing you EVER need to do to connect to yourself is what excites you the most. What do you want to do, RIGHT NOW, what is it? Nothing else does not and cannot matter because the only time that you exist in at any given moment is now.

Only from the perspective of thinking you are not receiving guidance and love can you not see the love you are being unconditionally sent in every view point of the same now moment. The idea of ascension really is in a sense a misnomer, because you really have nowhere high up to go, you just have to realize, that high "place" is contained within you and ultimately is you. You are a third dimensional view point of the multidimensional matrix of reality. You are the reality, it is the idea of choosing a portion of it to be exclusively AWARE of, that creates the illusion of separation.

Being unconditionally loved and living in ecstasy is something you can experience simply by allowing yourself to love yourself unconditionally and treat every circumstance with an ecstatic reaction no matter what you were, in your linear perspective, TOLD you should react like to certain circumstances.

What would you like to be like? How would the person you want to be act like? If you can imagine the persona, you can be it. If it would excite you to be the person, be the person, because that excites you. No buts, no doubts. Would the person you want to be have doubts? Most certainly not. Act as the person would act right now and you will be that person.

Stop fighting with the ego. It is simply an aspect of the illusion of your separated self. Do not invalidate the ego. Make peace with it. It is only trying to serve you. Once you prove it you can have fun and enjoy yourself and be full of ecstasy, it will no longer have any reason to hold you back because of fear that you will harm yourself.

Your ego is simply the construct of your cluster of beliefs that allow you to experience physical reality. You can change those beliefs at any moment, because this is YOUR reality and your unique perspective of the infinite matrix of all that is. If you had not a belief you would not have an experience because you need to feel something about something to experience it.
Since there is no outside and the matrix is you, there is nothing holding you back from anything but your own beliefs. Believe what allows you to be more of your natural, true self. Your true self is your highest excitement. Acting on your highest excitement, your life will flow effortlessly and you will always be at the right place at the right time for you to discover even more about yourself.

And remember, once you recognize you have a habit/addiction, it is no longer an addiction, it is a CHOICE because you are aware of doing it. Now you can choose whether you'd like to continue doing it or not. You do not have to go somewhere deep down in a dark place to confront your beliefs, because there is no deep down. When examining your beliefs you can only become more aware of what you are and what you create yourself to be and thus can only climb UP on the ladder of dimensional awareness of all that is/all you create yourself to be.

To a lot of beings in the universe it is inconceivable to think of themselves as not being unconditionally loved. Some might not believe such a degree of limitation can be imposed on a soul such as yourself! Remember, your soul does not exist within your body, your body exists within your soul.

And yes you are perfect. You are the perfect YOU that you are creating yourself to be at any given moment. Allow meditation to simply be the act of letting go of all the beliefs that hold you back and tell you what you should be, and simply BE. Be the soul that is sitting in a comfortable position, becoming aware of all the love that it is and is constantly surrounded by.

The road to salvation is not the knowing of what to do, but is the process of doing what you think you must do.

Knowledge does not come from knowing but from doing.

The road you seek to travel is one of great challenge to one's self this challenge it has nothing to do with the external world.

All eyes must look inward to find the TRUTH of ones self, if one is to experience the greater you.

" Frustrated, drained, and tired with trying to connect/ascend " You see this is a clue as to where you are and what you need to understand about your self.

What you are doing is not working you need to find another way, we live in a quantum universe where there is an infinite numbers of ways to do things.

We are all lost souls swimming in a world of reality, we don't need anyone or anything to be what ever we want, we only need to see the truth of who we are, and do something about it. Don't wallow in your own self doubt just cast is all aside and feel free of all things.

Just let go of all things that you want to be or expect to be and let the bigger part of you bring to you what you want, it's that easy. Time is on your side, don't ask question about why something that did not happen but ask questions of why you think is did not happen, take responsibility for everything in your life your fault or not, free your self of other peoples judgment and your own. And except with gratitude all things that come to you great or small.


The most important thing to remember is, this is from the most powerful being in the universe, is talk less and listen more, the less you say the better it is. The great masters do not speak but only when it is needed but listen and learn from everything around them, All matter talks if you shut up long enough you will hear it.


This may sound like I don't know what ever but the rest is up to you.

Ah, so many suggestions and many of them so complicated and some so misleading.

Dear Sub,
First of all, alcohol and bad food are self destructive to the body and mind..
Why do you want to destroy yourself?.

Indulging in self-destructive behavior tells us that you do not love yourself. If you don’t love yourself no one else will. Likewise if you don’t love yourself you cannot love others.

www.google.com...=nlp+and+%22trying%22&hl=en&gs_nf=1&cp=19&gs_id=1w&xhr=t&q=NLP+and+loving+self+confidence&pf=p&sclient=psy-ab&pbx=1&oq=NLP+an d+loving+self&aq=0bA&aqi=q-bA1&aql=&gs_sm=&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=8f2b1328c7144cf2&biw=800&bih=485

You said: “Im beginning to think my addictions and self-acceptance are why I'm here in this life………..”
That is what you think….become aware that everything you have said about yourself thus far says That you have not accepted yourself. Maybe you meant "Lack of self-acceptance"?

Check this out: www.youtube.com...
This guy has many videos. He has a good thing there. Follow his ideas. They are useful.
"Let it go, let it go, let it go".

There is nothing wrong with being Selfish. This is how you are “wired’ to survive.
A lot of this kind of thinking comes form religion,
Like the guy in the gilded robes preaching the virtue of poverty.

Next, for as long as you “try” you will never succeed.
Stop “trying”. just let go and do it.

“If you say that you are going to try to do something then it sends mixed messages to the brain. “I’m going to try to go to the gym twice a week.” This implies that there is some flexibility in it for you. It doesn’t really matter if you only make it once this week because you are only going to try to do it.”

excellenceassured.com...

I disagree with this “egoless” condition. I say, as an individual you and your ego are one.

All pain is self-inflicted; all blessings are self-bestowed.

Originally posted by Subconsciously Correct
Thanks to all of you for your replies thus far. Some great points have been raised. I hate starting a thread like this, especially on a forum that tends to focus on those who are already attaining. but bringing this up to my friends/family around me is almost pointless because these sort of discussion topics are rare in today's society. This site is the only place I know of where these sort of conversations are typical.

I'm not perfect either, subconsciously correct, but I can tell you that the highlights in my life happened when I had compassion for myself. That's where it begins and it's through the heart. We still waver in and out of our center, but eventually we find it with non-judgment and compassion for self. It's all within.

reply to post by Subconsciously Correct


Just do what you want...

Ask yourself, waht do i want to do? Be honest with yourself and do it.

I flagged this thread because i think it deserves exposure... there are a lot of people thinking that metaphysic experiences are the answer...