Need experienced advice on how to do deal with unruly neighbors!

Alright ATS, I need a little advice dealing with the zombie American hoard population. I'll tell you the events of what I'm talking about and then let me know if you have faced a similar situation and if so, what you did about it and what legal rights do I have and can take upon this issue.

I live with my girlfriend in our apartment which I consider to be outside the green zone, what I mean by that is that it's not located in the best area and our neighbor beneath us has been escalating the noise complaint guerilla warfare tactics on and off randomly for the past 4 to 5 months now. The first time we found out who lived beneath us was on a weeknight at about 10:30 almost 11 o'clock at night. Apparently our air unit was making noise and disturbing her so we heard a vigorous pounding at the door, of course neither one of us opened the door that late without looking out the peek hole or side room window first. It was dark and hard to see who it was so we didn't open it until the maintenance workers came and got the problem fixed and then got an idea from them who exactly was throwing such a fit about it and who she was and that it was in fact a Her.

Between that time period and the next incident she would either be covertly peeking out from the shades at us as we were leaving or staring me down when passing by occasionally. So about a month later after that she complained we were making too much noise at night (which we don't) and we received a noise complaint. Fast forward another couple of months later and she ambushed me as I was going up the stairs and she told me that we needed to quit walking on the stairs so much to which I quickly commented back politely assuring her we weren't trying to then with her single mindingly snapping back that she had already told us once. I humored her ignorance once again by commenting back with a quick response telling her that we are just living our lives and not even making an opportunity to defend us and try to articulate to someone so dumbed down and close minded that the kids were the ones to blame for playing that was making the noise. Anyway a week later she approached my girlfriend by the car as she was going to work and told her something similar but saying that it sounded like we have a couple of 300 pound people walking around up there. Finally, just the other day I was lying on the bed a little after noon and my girlfriend sitting on the couch making no noise and all of sudden I heard a door slam and her scream out hysterically to quit making that banging noise, called us damn fools and told us to get our asses outside then slammed the door back.

There was someone making noise somewhere but we seem to be the hot target despite the host of people living in the complex. We reported her actions to the authorities and plan on moving but is there anything I can do legally in the meantime?

reply to post by Brad Jones


Sounds like the issue resides with you. But I am sure in the progressive blame everything but yourself world you are totally in the right.




It kinda sad when you need to reach out for advice on such a simple problem. Petty comes to mind.

I would probably just try to move or try to get the landlord to move her to an upstairs apartment. Obviously the building was built poorly. Be happy you have the upstairs unit,.

Retraining Order. She is irrational, and threatening you. File a police report on her harassing you and your wife. At the same time you file, tell them you both fear for your safety, and want a restraining order.

Its a bit tough as there isn't really a great deal that can be done in terms of legal remedies unless something dramatically escalates. Best bet is to try to resolve it through the owner of the complex, or, failing that, contact the police or an attorney and ask if there is anything you can do to prevent or stop someone from engaging in a consistent course of harassing conduct. Most attorneys will give a free consultation, so it's worth checking out. Easiest bet is to just deal with as best you can until you've moved out and don't have to deal with the nutter anymore.

MOVE, as quickly as possible then sit in your new place and feel sorry for the next person that moves in.

I don't think there's anything you can do with people like that. Maybe get a letter from a lawyer to mildly threaten her in the meantime but that probably wont make a difference.

I had a really nasty neighbour once. If we hadn't moved I'd have killed either her, or myself. Not long after I moved she went and kicked the bucket anyway.

[color=dodgerblue]My advice would be to talk to the landlord/manager about the issues you have with the neighbor.

I used to live in a small apartment building... all downstairs with just four apartments.

I lived there by myself and an older man who I dubbed the 'parking nazi' lived next door.

He would, within literally 2 or 3 minutes, come out and scream at anyone who parked in his spot even though he only had one car, had no use for the second spot, other spots were available and was not expecting company.

He called the cops to complain about my junk car.

He sent me letters speaking from the 'neighborhood' complaining about my car being an 'eye sore'.

He would shovel his walk and pile the snow on my steps.

The final straw happened one night when I was getting ready to go out, it wasn't late. I had one friend over, I was in the bathroom doing my hair and we were talking but not loudly. I walked out of the bathroom to a knock on the door and it was the police saying they received a call about a domestic disturbance.

I called my landlord and the man was moved out within two weeks.

Which is why I think that talking to the management would be the way to go.

Couple of suggestions.

Start nice. Is she old? Is she mentally unstable or irrational?

1. Take her some flowers. Go to her apartment and sit down with her, maybe she is hearing a ghost. See if you can pick up on something she likes, books, mags, food? Bring her a token.

2. If that doesn't work, you should start looking for a new place, or maybe another apartment in your complex. If she is unstable, there will be no reckoning with her, BELIEVE ME!

Good luck - you'll need it.

Get her on tape acting like an ass, record her with voice and video if possible, make sure you record the conditions and time of area so that when you sue her butt for harrasment she'll look like a bigger tard than she does now, witness statements and such will also help. Talk to your neighbors and see if anyone else has this issue with her or of the like.

You are trying to complete a pattern of behavior, police reports will help too, the more the merrier. You should not have to move, and you have the right to live there as much as she does. If she continues to verbally berate you, tell her to buy ear plugs and give her the finger and walk on. Through your inaction it'll just drive her to do something more over the top and stupid as she sounds like a emotional beast who cannot control her self perceived fantasy that she obviously resides in.

Lastly inform the landlord with evidence in hand t hat you will be forced to move if this does not stop. Landlords hate losing money due to other tenants...I assure you if your in the right, your landlord will put a stop to it. There are laws to protect your peace and serenity.....but it will take work on your part.

Push the buttons, without pushing the buttons if you will. Make her go out of her way to be an ass, then record it......chances are you wont have to do much to get that to happen if what you say is true.

I had similar issues with an older neighbour and as per above I would reccomend calling the police. Remember older people don't work and as such issues like this keep them going, they can be very vindictive and can cause problems between couples as issues escolate. If she is acting like this then it can lead to property damage, malicious reports to police etc Get in there first and make sure if you are really the innocent party then you won't have to put up with her crap

Originally posted by Brad Jones
Alright ATS, I need a little advice dealing with the zombie American hoard population. I'll tell you the events of what I'm talking about and then let me know if you have faced a similar situation and if so, what you did about it and what legal rights do I have and can take upon this issue.

I live with my girlfriend in our apartment which I consider to be outside the green zone, what I mean by that is that it's not located in the best area and our neighbor beneath us has been escalating the noise complaint guerilla warfare tactics on and off randomly for the past 4 to 5 months now. The first time we found out who lived beneath us was on a weeknight at about 10:30 almost 11 o'clock at night. Apparently our air unit was making noise and disturbing her so we heard a vigorous pounding at the door, of course neither one of us opened the door that late without looking out the peek hole or side room window first. It was dark and hard to see who it was so we didn't open it until the maintenance workers came and got the problem fixed and then got an idea from them who exactly was throwing such a fit about it and who she was and that it was in fact a Her.

Between that time period and the next incident she would either be covertly peeking out from the shades at us as we were leaving or staring me down when passing by occasionally. So about a month later after that she complained we were making too much noise at night (which we don't) and we received a noise complaint. Fast forward another couple of months later and she ambushed me as I was going up the stairs and she told me that we needed to quit walking on the stairs so much to which I quickly commented back politely assuring her we weren't trying to then with her single mindingly snapping back that she had already told us once. I humored her ignorance once again by commenting back with a quick response telling her that we are just living our lives and not even making an opportunity to defend us and try to articulate to someone so dumbed down and close minded that the kids were the ones to blame for playing that was making the noise. Anyway a week later she approached my girlfriend by the car as she was going to work and told her something similar but saying that it sounded like we have a couple of 300 pound people walking around up there. Finally, just the other day I was lying on the bed a little after noon and my girlfriend sitting on the couch making no noise and all of sudden I heard a door slam and her scream out hysterically to quit making that banging noise, called us damn fools and told us to get our asses outside then slammed the door back.

There was someone making noise somewhere but we seem to be the hot target despite the host of people living in the complex. We reported her actions to the authorities and plan on moving but is there anything I can do legally in the meantime?

edit on 5-2-2012 by Brad Jones because: (no reason given)

Quit being so nice... Y tip toe around your own apartment? Your allowed to make noise you pay the rent, if they dont like it tell them to F-OFF if the lady harasses you have your girlfriend open a can of whoopass... Might not be the advice your looking for just a suggestion

Originally posted by Julie Washington
Couple of suggestions.

Start nice. Is she old? Is she mentally unstable or irrational?

1. Take her some flowers. Go to her apartment and sit down with her, maybe she is hearing a ghost. See if you can pick up on something she likes, books, mags, food? Bring her a token.

2. If that doesn't work, you should start looking for a new place, or maybe another apartment in your complex. If she is unstable, there will be no reckoning with her, BELIEVE ME!

Good luck - you'll need it.

I know the type, being nice makes it worse as she already has it in her head that the people above are the devil.

They should not have to move because someone is being irrational.....the bottom floor tenant can be sued if she's not careful for distress.

Again document document document....a video is worth 10000 words. Also OP make sure you note everything....condition of yer car when parked, door jams for signs of entry etc etc....be subtle, but notice everything. Then if anything sticks out and the crazy lady gets bold...write it down, call the authorities, but do not confront her....it's what she wants.

How to deal with unruly neighbors...
1. Start your own nuclear "research" program
2. Send missiles to all the neighbors on the block.
3. Get your other neighbors to attack them 1st.
4. Deny any involvement.
5. Finish nuclear "research"
6. Blow up neighborhood & yourself
7. Collect 72 virgins!!!

This will work..... I promise!
Peace be upon you!

- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

reply to post by Brad Jones


To me it sounds like you have been targeted by the lady because you come across weak. I suggest you adapt a different attitude due to the fact you have stated you are not living were you are accustomed to. She no doubt has no complaints for other tenants due to the fact they would most likely confront her in the manner that is most accustomed to the area i.e Slap in the face. I would move asap for your nice nature and way of doing things does not fit the area. I wouldn't say intelligence is the problem here because i live in a rough place and have a good iq but would still beat the person who knocked my door after 11pm or confronted my wife. These actions of mine would be called for due to the area i live in but i know i could adapt to any area i live in be it rough or posh.
Another thought is she could have mental illnesses if that's the case her complaints should legally be ignored or at least be thought twice about. Anyway good luck buddy.

Indisputable

reply to post by Brad Jones

Finally, just the other day I was lying on the bed a little after noon and my girlfriend sitting on the couch making no noise and all of sudden I heard a door slam and her scream out hysterically to quit making that banging noise

That's odd. If you were quiet at the time and she is "hearing things" then there is that possibility of paranormal activity. If you were quiet and she keeps blaming you for "noises" you guys are not making and not hearing...

It will be hard to make up for the fact you wouldn't come to your door or talk to her about it. You can't avoid her forever. Talk to her now. Say Sorry we got off on the wrong foot, that you would like to listen from her place as someone walks around upstairs in your unit and on the stairs. Maybe it is louder than you think. I been there.

Apartment living can be brutal when it comes to touchy neighbors. Maybe her work schedule is different or she is going thru trying times after some trauma. Find out. Arrange for her to inform you "nicely" if noises disturb her again so you can both work out how to live together. Try all that first before escalating and making her more vicious.

Originally posted by tvtexan
How to deal with unruly neighbors...
1. Start your own nuclear "research" program
2. Send missiles to all the neighbors on the block.
3. Get your other neighbors to attack them 1st.
4. Deny any involvement.
5. Finish nuclear "research"
6. Blow up neighborhood & yourself
7. Collect 72 virgins!!!

This will work..... I promise!
Peace be upon you!

- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

hahah

This probably won't help you much but I had the same exact kind of neighbor in the same exact kind of situation and I just hopped like the easter bunny to wherever I wanted to go around the place and stomped like a 16 year old girl up down the stairs. Oh how fun.
For you I recommend going down to her, knocking on her door, and trying to talk this isssue out before it gets really out of hand. If that doesn't work then get a restraining order. It sounds like she threatened you and because of that you can get one. Use police as a last case scenario, it won't work well. However, if you ever plan on moving and your neighbor is still there, do something like what I did. The faces they give are hilarious.

reply to post by Brad Jones


You sound like a scared rat. You obviously feel that this lowly woman that resides outside of the 'green zone' is inferior to an intellectual giant such as yourself. I think that is your biggest problem.

I assume that this woman holds a grudge over the fact that you were too scared to open your door the first night she came to you to ask you to stop the noise. It also seems that you have made no effort to apologize for making her wait around outside your door. You sound like an inherently ill-mannered indivdual. What gives you the right to look down on this woman? Do you think you are of higher breeding? Is it because where she lives?(you live there too) What is it that makes you think you are above anyone?

What you need to do is stop taking comfort in the delusion that you are better than others. When you do this you will see that people around you will not respond so negatively toward you.

You could also improve your ability to communicate with others. It seems you have put more effort into hiding from this scary old lady than you have put in to resolving the conflict.

reply to post by theubermensch


whoa there sailor.....have you read what he posted?

Apologize for what? living? And btw, I dont care if your my neighbor or not, if I dont know you, i dont open the door. And those that carry the issue one step further gets a boot in the azz for disturbing my peace and serenity. I have a sign on my door that says simply go the F--K away. If they knock on my door they better be wearing a badge, been expected, or be one of the few people I care to have know where I live.

I dont go out of my way to be discourteous to others, and it doesnt sound like the OP is either. i also keep to myself and i dont ask anyone for anything. If the neighbor is acting in this fashion then any form of rational thought is out the window. She could have easily just came back when she calmed down and knocked on the door again instead of being a psycho hoochie. The time for understanding behavior has passed for sure at this point.

If someone is doing that to me, they better be commited to their actions, because i dont call the police, I handle my own business in my way. The OP surely should not have to feel the need to move because the downstairs neighbor is a jerkoff.

Talk to management, make sure there is a written record of your complaint, so that if later on, she tries to go to them on you, it's on file that you complained first, and her word will have doubt cast upon it.

Like another said, you can't do much legally, based on what's happened. You won't get a restraining order based only on that.

If this person lives alone, chances are, she just wants some attention, and this is how she gets it. You could take the high road here, and try to be more friendly, and see you get more with honey than vinegar also (but I'd still recommend having that complaint on file first).