Relationships are 100% shallow and primitive. (Love doesn't exist Edition)

I actually agree with many of the points made in the OP, but then again I probably am a bit shallow when it comes to the opposite sex. I dont know if it's just me, but, I'm pretty sure for most men when they look at a woman the first thought that goes through there head is " would I?".

Anyway, here's a funny video on how TV has manipulated our experience of LOVE, with the myths it promotes, like there being "a one" and "love at first sight"

reply to post by Alyssa


Saving this thread for later.

You sound both young and jaded.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


I stopped reading The Guardian on Saturday when Brooker left (I only read his bit anyway, the news is never news), he translates well to the TV though. Nice to see him continuing to do what he does very well in a new environment.

I found that perceptively funny, thanks for posting.

reply to post by Alyssa


Ummm...what in God's name are you talking about?? Just say it...either you're pissed at women cause they ignore you because you lack self-confidence and self-esteem or some girl just stomped on your heart like a bug. Which one is it?

reply to post by Alyssa

I'm going to make this post very easy for you guys ok. All relationships may it be friendship or deeper are 100% shallow. There is NO love nor spirituality about our existence in this reality. We are slaves to our basic primitive instincts that work on us without us even knowing it.

Interesting thread Alyssa, but I do not think your telling us anything we did not already know. Really who would of thunk that males are primarily and mostly atracted to looks, and females are primarily and mostly attracted to money and status. It's like a totally unheard of concept.

But hey if your a woman, or at least if you have a sexy female as your avatar! or it does not have to be that sexy really! You know what it does not matter all that much, as long as its female...Well we will listen to what you have to say.

Or at least we will pretend to listen.

However there are more things to this thing called relationships and love. And you have not factored into your "equations" many things, one among those many things being "control" most females would take control over there mates then status, money or looks. And yes the confidence game, or the whole I just want a funny guy thing, is a form of control. Even the whole bad boy so I want to change him, is just another form of control. But as you no doubt know, it is not called control by them.

But the rest of what you have said is pretty much dead on, and most that meets the eye is exactly what it is. I would say you hit the nail pretty much on the head.

But I would not say everything is 100% shallow and primitive...I would say it is about 85% shallow and primitive.

And for a female your for some reason, emotionally logical. Strange indeed.

When the love ends, the real relationship starts, and it is a lot of work.
Have you seen couples that have been married for 50 years? I am sure if you ran your points past them, they would tell you that you are wrong.

It is a fact that the chemical reaction of love is just that, a chemical reaction. Hormones rule this aspect of love, however, once the chemical attraction wears off, then the relationship changes and you have to ask yourself, do I want to be with this person? Do I still feel for them? This is where a long term relationship starts and a short term one ends. There are many forms of love, chemical being the strongest next to parental or rather unconditional love.
To say all relationships are shallow, regardless of what points you have to offer shows me you lack a lot of real understanding on what LOVE and relationships are.

I guess you just have to live it for many years before you begin to understand it, if people understand it at all. Some seem unable. That to me is sad.

as a side note, I shouldn't say you are not correct, but after rereading, as another poster pointed out, there are MANY factors, however, yes, much is based on physical appearance and the subconscious thoughts of reproduction and good seed.
That does not mean that humans base everything entirely on genetics. It only means that they are pushed in that direction. Just to prove my point, I know several "ugly" women and men who have very attractive partners. When your conscious can overcome your subconscious and hold back the early desires, and then rational thought enters into the process, most of the subconscious fades away allowing you to see the beauty inside someone instead of just what is on the outside.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Funny and interesting show.

Favorite quote.

"Tolerance that's true love! In fact I define true love as the ability to share one fridge with the same person for seventeen years, without resorting to fists"

Truer words have never been said.

Originally posted by Alyssa
There is NO love nor spirituality about our existence in this reality.

youtu.be...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you're an average looking female who just got dumped for a better looking female. I'm gonna go even farther out and say that you're not even 25 yet. What I'm NOT gonna do is assume I know everything about love and post a thread about it by using studies to try to justify my feelings.

If that sounds a bit harsh for someone who probably just got their ego kicked in, I'm sorry, but you really do need to get out of this funk that you're in. If there's one thing I learned it's that you're not going to find love by pointing out to other people all the places where love ISN'T going to be found. That's like looking for a skyscraper in the Grand Canyon and then complaining that you didn't find one.

Love exists. Sorry to burst your bubble, but I've seen too much proof of real love to believe otherwise. I don't know what your situation is, but if and when you get out of this delusion that love doesn't exist, here's a word of advice. Start looking in the types of places where the types of people who are looking for love are going to be. Places and web chat rooms dealing with spirituality would be my first hunch.

Start conversations, or join them, with men who seem mature and grounded. You may have to do some digging find to them, but they're out there. I had a friend a long time ago who had a thing for this Mexican woman. He was white. He was 30 and she was 20. His Spanish was very limited and her English was very limited as well, but they found a way to communicate with each other. They were watching each at first, liked what they saw on a physical level, and gave it a shot. We all worked at the same place so I was able to watch these two as they fumbled around this obstacle of the language barrier and forged out a relationship. Don't ask me exactly how they did it. It looked to me like what they couldn't say to each other they compensated with different types of eye contact and body language. But they made it work.

The moral of the story? Yes, they were first attracted to each other physically. Please don't be naive and think that that shouldn't play a part in a relationship, or that it makes a relationship shallow. We're all grown adults with needs here. Of course it's going to matter. But if that were a shallow relationship, the physical aspect wouldn't have been enough to get them to work as hard as they did, working around the language barrier, to make it all work. And when you work at something as hard as they did, love is going to come from it because it's hard not to love someone who works so hard to get a relationship started. From what he told me, they didn't even have sex for the first month. And if you knew this guy like I did, you would know that that was saying a lot. That's how much they had to work to get to know each other, and that's an obvious sign of how much they respected each other.

That's not shallow honey. That's something else.

youtu.be...

meh love is overrated .

lust is much more fun ^_^

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
But I would not say everything is 100% shallow and primitive...I would say it is about 85% shallow and primitive.

I object to the 'Primitive' stamp, because I think we had more off in this department when we were primitive, everything had to have a purpose or function, or it died out, valuing something simply because it is pretty denies the truer beauty of usefulness. I would say that since in the West certainly, the majority of people are superficial, more concerned with what they have than what they are, then it stands to reason that relationships with those people would be equally superficial and shallow. Most people can't talk about anything other than themselves, or how things effect them personally. The majority of men and women it appears, are entirely dependent on their possessions as a reflection of who they are and extend that perception to whatever partner they have draped over their arm.

mBlah: I don't feel emotions like the everyday person. I was blessed with the gift of shallow emotional levels allowing me to see reality for what it really is. All I see are atoms, chemicals, and programming. That's all relationships and existence is. I find it interesting you can't comprehend things from my point of view yet I can logically understand everyones side. I seen your posts before, mblah. You seem to be deeply connected into a belief system of modern constructs. Controlled by emotions and beliefs you depend on hope for answers not realizing hope itself is a man made system designed to blindly keep you moving in ones direction.

Originally posted by ChaoticOrder
reply to post by Alyssa

 

If you're a below average male or female I really don't know what to say to you. I mean if you're really trapped as a below average person society will treat you like crap and no amount of feel good Love talk will help. NO amount of confidence will even help these people.

lol, well I'm sure those words will be very encouraging for many people.

To be honest I'm quite a short and thin guy, and I know that isn't something women are particularly attracted to (although there is a very small percentage who are), but it doesn't particularly bother me. I've been with a few women in the last few years, I don't feel a particular need to go out and find 'the one'. I enjoy the freedom and time that I have when not in a relationship.

I find that having a good personality is A LOT more important than you may actually think. A below average guy can get above average girls with the right personally, wealth and status doesn't necessarily need to be a factor involved. With enough confidence and charm almost any guy can get almost any girl, the trick is making sure that you always have that confidence.

I get the feeling you've never really been in a meaningful relationship if you are trying to claim all relationships are 100% shallow. I don't believe that is true, there are deep bonds of love that exist in this world, connections that you obviously haven't experienced. It's relatively rare, but there are many relationships in this world that aren't completely shallow and instinctual.

edit on 25-1-2012 by ChaoticOrder because: (no reason given)

No, you can't. Your ideals come from fantasy. In reality males must show females high value of some level. Personally does help to some (small) degree. Meaningful relationships don't exist in reality. Matter of fact it's just another man-made idea created to trap you in these beliefs you have.

Most of you are living in a dream world.

reply to post by Biliverdin


It's not my label but in some ways it fits, tough i would call it more along the lines of predictable. I do not really know what the op means exactly by primitive, since even in the aspect of chemicals alone it technically gets pretty complicated, not the mention all the thousand of other things... But whatever...Close enough, yet missed by miles.

The majority of men and women it appears, are entirely dependent on their possessions as a reflection of who they are and extend that perception to whatever partner they have draped over their arm.

There is that, but there is also others including this.

The funny thing is some are not even superficial, and some of these relationships are based completely on the prospect of what others think and want, hence I have seen more then a couple peoples who seem to want something or go for something that they think others covet... Indeed strange it is to use others as a mirror to what you want to have, especially since I and many others do not see at all what they see..But whatever why spoil there game.

I don't know what do you define as primitive, or better yet what does the op mean by primitive.

reply to post by Alyssa

I don't feel emotions like the everyday person. I was blessed with the gift of shallow emotional levels allowing me to see reality for what it really is. All I see are atoms, chemicals, and programming. That's all relationships and existence is.

So your a robot or something? That is a pretty impressive gift you have, but can you also see the synergy of all those things in effect.

Does the sum of all its part constitute its being as well as its makeup?

By shallow emotional levels do you mean weak emotional levels, or maybe base emotional levels. Saying shallow implies you see something beyond the base levels most people do not see. Yet you seem stuck on those very same feelings you call shallow.

As Yoda would say...confusing this is.

By the way I like your La Li Lu Le Lo quote that you have in your signature.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by Biliverdin

 

It's not my label but in some ways it fits, tough i would call it more along the lines of predictable. I do not really know what the op means exactly by primitive, since even in the aspect of chemicals alone it technically gets pretty complicated, not the mention all the thousand of other things... But whatever...Close enough, yet missed by miles.

The majority of men and women it appears, are entirely dependent on their possessions as a reflection of who they are and extend that perception to whatever partner they have draped over their arm.

There is that, but there is also others including this.

The funny thing is some are not even superficial, and some of these relationships are based completely on the prospect of what others think and want, hence I have seen more then a couple peoples who seem to want something or go for something that they think others covet... Indeed strange it is to use others as a mirror to what you want to have, especially since I and many others do not see at all what they see..But whatever why spoil there game.

I don't know what do you define as primitive, or better yet what does the op mean by primitive.

This definition, or selection of definitions does it for me...

prim·i·tive   /ˈprɪmɪtɪv/ Show Spelled[prim-i-tiv] Show IPA
adjective
1. being the first or earliest of the kind or in existence, especially in an early age of the world: primitive forms of life.
2. early in the history of the world or of humankind.
3. characteristic of early ages or of an early state of human development: primitive toolmaking.
4. Anthropology . of or pertaining to a preliterate or tribal people having cultural or physical similarities with their early ancestors: no longer in technical use.
5. unaffected or little affected by civilizing influences; uncivilized; savage: primitive passions.

dictionary.reference.com...

Love doesn't exist for me, it is probably the roads that I take. So the roads are valuable and I don't know how to take them.