Obessive Compulsive Disorder

OCD, you seen it on TV, movies, and heard it means to be really clean and afraid of germs. NOPE! thats part of it, but not entirely and only OCD behaviour. I'm a Microbiologist and i play with bacteria and virus(kinda) everyday, actually we always have bacteria on and in our body.

There are different levels of OCD, minor to severe. On a Scale of 1-10, i would say im at 4.5. I used to be worse but i figured out ways to get un"trapped" in the thoughts. I found out what i was doing at age of 12 was OCD couple of years back, i thought it was weird doing things i was doing,... its like you are doing it, you have to, but you don't know why....you could even think in your head while doing the "rituals" "why the heck am i doing this lol".

When i was 12, my worst enemies were Doors, it cant be closed but it cant be too open, it need to have the right amount of open. Next one would be side walk tiles... cant step on those lines!, and of course touching thing twice.. i always thought of them as.. when i touch an object twice it cancels out the previous touch.. and you can resume you normal day.

I grew out of most of the things, now im 25. Only problems i have now is the freaking volume button!!! they are everywhere so im screwed lol. I need to have the volume on a target number that i think is good for the current time and environment, like most people do, but i need to get to my target in an increasing fashion, so i i want the volume at 22, and im at 26, i need to go to 21 then to 22. Another slight problem is checking to see if doors are locked, well everyone does that, but i really need to make sure, like ill try opening the door to make sure its locked.

There can be some danger from OCD, mostly to your self, and sometimes to others, for example, the volume button in the car... and rear view mirror, they gotta be perfect, so i take my time to do it before i start the car so i don't do it in the middle, which might cause some bad things.

Im a clean person when im cooking something eat, never cross contaminate, always wash knives when cutting between different food products and i make sure my car is spotless on a non winter days, in winter its out of your control!!

Whats with the symmetric fetishesness, like i want things to be symmtry, that dont mean i hate obstarct arts, because they are meant to be like that, only time i would want symmetry is when the things are suppose to be symtery but arent.

These compulsiveness come from lot of "psedo-guilt", like if i don't do this, i will fail at whatever i think of in my mind (be it driving test, or a exam.. job interview etc), then you have the danger to you family and friends.. where if you don;t do this something bad will happen to your family. ... its funny how YOU KNOW THEY CANT HAPPEN, ITS SILLY, BUT YO HAVE TO DO IT, in order to move on with your daily lives.

After dealing with it, unknowingly for7 years and knowlingly for 6 years.. i found ways to counteract this "tiruals"..
i found a word.. yup a word.. that would override these rituals, kinda like .. when you are about to go into the behaviour, you say this word and you don't have to do it.

Now this word is each to their own, you need to find a word that would be strong enough counteract against this thoughts. If i have problem with the volume, i would usually put on a volume, say this word and forget about it. Of course im not gonna say my word, like i said, to other it might simply a word, but for me its like immunity, makes me invulnerable when i say it.

Do you have OCD, what level i s it on a 1-10 scale?

What are you daily "enemies" you have to deal with?

Have you found a way to cope with it?


Thank You!

I have suffered from OCD when I was younger. Stoping was like breaking a really bad habit. You just need to be mentally strong to overcome it.

Oh it was like 10-10.

Originally posted by DAZ21
I have suffered from OCD when I was younger. Stoping was like breaking a really bad habit. You just need to be mentally strong to overcome it.

yes, it does have to with the your mentality being strong, i guess me finding a word to counteract was probably my brain finding a way to overcome it. Even my brain knows this ain't right! Funny thing isi started to overcome once i found out it was actually a known disorder and nothing weird about me.

I don't think of myself as OCD, as I'm not a so called "neat-freak" but I cannot eat bread if it isn't matched just perfectly from the slices of the loaf. They NEED to match. I just can't do it any other way.

I think everyone has some OCD tendencies in their lives; it's just a matter of how many there are and how badly they effect your daily life's tasks.

Glad to hear that you've found a way to deal (not overcome; as that's inappropriate) with your OCD symptoms to move on with your life.

Best to you.

A_L

reply to post by luciddream


I just thought what I was doing was plain stupid. When you would sit up through the night and not sleep, all the while knowing that you should stop. That's when you say enough is enough and Im mentally strong in many aspects, don't know how I got into OCD, but it was easy to stop once I really tried. Just annoyed that I never stopped sooner.

Interesting thread. I would say I don't have OCD (although a medical professional paid by big pharma may disagree ), but I may be a little obsessive. The clothes in my closet must all face the same direction and, when possible, be on a color coordinated hanger (black shirts on a black hanger, red on red, etc.). Also items on my desk as well as other places must be geometrically placed (parallel or at right angles). I guess I somewhat have a need for "patterns" in my life. My wife will mess with my stuff to mock me - knowing that I will "correct" it. I used to have to physically touch the door locks before bed, but I convinced myself that was stupid and have mostly overcome that one.

I think I may be referred to more as a "neat freak" than OCD - but what's the difference really.

Mine developed when I was in 5th grade about 10 years old, I was in a rough and tough little elementary school up the street from my house. I had always been in private christian schools from kindergarten up through 2nd until my Grandma who I was very close with was killed in a violent pedestrian runover accident and then was homeschooled from about 2nd grade through 4th. I was pretty sheltered and then suddenly being thrust into the real world public school dealing with the peer pressures, bullying, and conformity seemed to activate it. I would tap my foot all day a certain amount of times, step over invisible lines, and was trapped all day by fears in my head concerning my family.

Fast forward about 5 years and I was in high school now coming out of another tragedy of losing my home to a fire/tornado and my pet lab I've had since I was 2 and having to leave a prep school I was doing well in and enjoyed only to to fall into a daisy chain of hit miss schools I would attend for a semester at a time until finally dropping out dealing with depression and fear constantly being bombarded with hours on end rituals praying to no end to only repeat the same process. I was raised to believe through prayer everything would be okay but it only made it worse and seemed to be the focal point of all my OCD which still to this day drives me insane.

Another five years went by and I eventually went to the doctor and got prescribed a anti-depressant/serotonin reuptake inhibitor that I threw out after about a month because I wasn't going to be drugged by big PHARMA, I was going to beat it by myself. Eventually I began to find a way to not even care by realizing in my own mind that no matter how many times I perform a ritual or how hard I pray the world is just chaos and nothing is going to be perfect. So I got set in my mind that if I have nothing to lose that's when I feel the most carefree and relaxed. Now Im 23 verging on 24 and still it comes back randomly in all forms, definitely not as bad but still mainly through fear of not praying, thinking that if I pray I'm somehow preventing future disasters from happening of whatever my minds conjures up in a worst case scenario instant.

I wouldn't exactly say that I have OCD - but all of my friends and family would certainly say otherwise. Personally, I think of all the little things I do as normal, but obviously they aren't.

Similar to you, OP, I need to make sure the doors are locked - whether I'm in a car or the house. In my car I need the rear view mirror to match up perfectly to the rear view window - so that the perimeter of both rectangles are tangent to one another. The volume always needs to be on an increment of 5. It drives me crazy when it's at 28 or something, so I always put it up to 30 or down to 25.
Even when I'm driving myself, I always stay in the lanes, even when it's not necessary. Like, when I'm driving on an empty and narrow road and I'm coming up on a turn. Most people would take the turn by drifting slightly into the other lane. I take the turn sharply making sure my wheels don't even touch the yellow divider lines. Similarly, I always use my turn signals. Even when no one is there. For some reason, it just feels... incorrect not to use them.

On my computer I'm pretty exacting as well. I have the particular sites that I visit and in what order I visit them. As well as certain places that I need to put the windows on my computer. Some need to be tangent to the left, others to the right.

The whole.... threatening aspect of OCD, I used to have. Ya know the whole, "Uh oh, if I don't do this something bad will happen."
I got over that after months of shaking the worry from my mind. Like, if I didn't lock the back door I would always think, "Tonight is the night you're gonna get burgled or murdered because you didn't make sure the door was locked."
But that's pretty much the extent of it. I realized after a little while that pressuring myself was just going to make it worse. So, during instances like that, I would just think in response, "Well, if tonight's the night that I get burgled, then so be it."


Another thing I noticed is that my OCD got worse after I got off anti depressant medications. I've been on zoloft for anxiety and depression for the past 7 years (and it inadvertently treats OCD as well) - so I've noticed a few of my obsessive traits have been returning. It's nothing life disrupting - just interesting.


But yeah, despite the fact that I have some pretty obsessively compulsive behaviors, I still wouldn't consider myself to be someone with OCD, but that's just because it doesn't disrupt my life in any way.

I was diagnosed with OCD when I was sixteen. My OCD took the form of checking the locks ten times before bed, anorexia, cleaning non-stop, hand washing, the strange touching thing (thumb, pointer, thumb pointer middle, thumb pointed middle fourth, thumb pointer middle fourth pinkie...ok now I can move on) all the while thinking "This is insane."

I didn't actually seek out a psychiatrist for that, it was for the anorexia, but he pointed out everything else to me over several sessions of therapy. He put me on a medication called Luvox which is "for" OCD specifically...well...that was a disaster.

My OCD went from a 6-10 to 11-10 really fast. I loved it. I got a lot of comfort out of my rituals, so when it came time for a check up man I was doing GREAT! I stayed on that medication for about a year and then just quit out of nowhere, I don't really remember why.

I feel like after that, I kind of blew my OCD out. I have no symptoms of OCD anymore, am I a perfectionist at -certain- things? Yes. Rituals? Nope. My car stays a mess. Sometimes I wish I was a little more OCD, then my car might stay clean!

So did the medication help? While I was on it, nope. The OCD sure did clear up after I dropped it though, so I have no idea what finally "cured" me.

Originally posted by tallcool1
Interesting thread. I would say I don't have OCD (although a medical professional paid by big pharma may disagree

), but I may be a little obsessive. The clothes in my closet must all face the same direction and, when possible, be on a color coordinated hanger (black shirts on a black hanger, red on red, etc.). Also items on my desk as well as other places must be geometrically placed (parallel or at right angles). I guess I somewhat have a need for "patterns" in my life. My wife will mess with my stuff to mock me - knowing that I will "correct" it. I used to have to physically touch the door locks before bed, but I convinced myself that was stupid and have mostly overcome that one.

I think I may be referred to more as a "neat freak" than OCD - but what's the difference really.

Sorry to burst your bubble . . . however, check the

DSM IV

Those are well over the line into OCD behaviors.

You an wean yourself slowly or quickly, if you determine to do so.

You can repeat to yourself . . .

"That's NOT necessary."

You can even do some opposite things if you wish to bite the bullet and overcome quicker.

THEN RESIST dwelling on such in your mind. Just refuse to think about it. Force yourself to think of other things.

More beautiful, edifying, calming things.

I had OCD got really ill when I was 19-20 with it. I got paranoid of the littlest of things, lost all my friend that I'd gone through secondary school with etc.

Few things that I'd do

Wash hands every 5 mins- got to the point my hands were so dry I'd washed away my natural oils/moisture from the skin, they would crack and be sore.
Would have to take off-put on my t-shirt 20x times aleast due not being happy with how I put it on....Yes seriously!

Had to stop driving- I loved cars-driving it was and is a passion of my, reason was because I'd have a drive to the next town to me- to go to the shops which was a driving time there and back of around 10mins. That journey when I wasn't well would take me over 45mins to complete- due to retracting were I'd just been- things like Did I just go through a red light, I would force myself to return to those lights to see If they had cameras on them. If I didn't not return the next 6 days I know would have been torture for me as I'd constantly worry about such things- other things were pedestrians did I knock someone over- I'd do the same return to those places I thought I did something- but I knew full well I didn't - I'd imagine news reports - hit n run and describing my car crazy I know but that was my thinking pattern.

The alternative was to walk places from that moment on even then it didn't get any better- I would head up to the local shop 15 mins by walking there and back- which I would do and not think about that every saturday morning very easily around 6:30am for papers for my dad etc/. But as soon as I'd gotten through the door I would go in to cold sweat - start retracting my travels in my head, lots of made up things entered my head that I convinced my self happened e.g I didnt pay for the paper did i steal it...... but didn't I wasn't happy with just saying this to my self and so I'd repeat this to my twin brother early in the morning while he was half awake-in bed....he didn't understand - just agreed and said yes to everything I said.

I lost trust in myself- I didn't trust my own mind...

Door handles like mentioned by others- wouldnt touch them- repeated opening locking open lock open lock doors!

Some times I'd go into those modes and burst out crying because I wanted to leave those situations but could not!

Anyway I got rid of all that- regained my mind- I can't really remember how it left me, but Im glad I dont do those things no more-

Only problem I have now is slight anxious in certain situations- on a social level- You wouldn't think that I'd have these problems or have had them just to look at me - but It can happen to any one


Off topic- but unique to me was in 2009 something happened where It changed me slightly after seeing it..I feel more relaxed and special to be honest ! ;o )

Yes I have full blown OCD. I hate the thought of germs, getting sick, contamination, etc. Getting near a hacking coughing person will send me into a full blown panic especially if I am in a confined space.
Hate touching things other people have touched, don`t know where their hands have been. I was not always like this and I don`t remember being this way in my 20`s or 30`s.
As I get older it seems to get worse. I am not sure if certain life events like losing family members has set this off or what.

In my experience having rituals or as doctors may call them O.C.D. tendencies can be a way of establishing an element of control in your life even though the rituals themselves end up controlling you in some cases !

It's not a laughing matter (in spite of that emoticon) and an addiction counselling friend of mine made it all make sense for me personally. Cast your mind back to a time when you may have lost control of an event ...that could be bullying at school, losing a loved one unexpectedly, a parent tidying YOUR room and throwing out precious things without your permission...the list is endless , you just have to identify a time when you couldn't 'control' an event.

This in itself could also be a tendency toward that expression 'being a control freak' but that's another story - they can tie in with one another imho.

We can never know our destinies but when something happens which is out of synch with your norm at the time I truly believe a form of re-establishing some sort of normality can lead to the obsessive behaviour - it's YOUR rituals, they make sense to YOU, they achieve a status quo for YOU ---yes, I know they can become so ritualistic an ordinary shopping trip becomes 15 minutes of check procedures BUT they serve a purpose mentally as a form of You being in control.

Does that resonate with anyone ?

Thank you for your replies everyone, its feel good when you know that there are others that has similar problems. I felt so different before i knew OCD was a disorder and not something special just for me.

You guys are right, i try to do the opposite thing nowadays and try to tell my self that i'm not someone special, which would require me to be perfect and i don't have to do this.

OCD kinda helped me studing for exams tho, for example, i would read a paragraph, if i mess up somewhere along the lines, i would re-read them again, and because of that, some information gets burned into my mind.

Originally posted by Chewingonmushrooms
reply to post by luciddream

 

Look into my name

. Studies have shown that a particular mushroom helps with OCD and cluster headaches. If you like I can provide some links.

Yes i would like to research into them if you can provide the links .

Originally posted by tallcool1
Interesting thread. I would say I don't have OCD (although a medical professional paid by big pharma may disagree

), but I may be a little obsessive. The clothes in my closet must all face the same direction and, when possible, be on a color coordinated hanger (black shirts on a black hanger, red on red, etc.). Also items on my desk as well as other places must be geometrically placed (parallel or at right angles). I guess I somewhat have a need for "patterns" in my life. My wife will mess with my stuff to mock me - knowing that I will "correct" it. I used to have to physically touch the door locks before bed, but I convinced myself that was stupid and have mostly overcome that one.

I think I may be referred to more as a "neat freak" than OCD - but what's the difference really.

Sound like you are just fine..
and yes,.. big pharma would love to cure you

reply to post by lukeUK


I don't see how it would be off topic to share what you saw that helped you overcome the OCD.

Someone else might profit from your sharing that.

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR OVERCOMING! YEA!

OCD is a terrible slavemaster.

reply to post by Iamherefornow


I'd strongly encourage you to:

1. research it well on the net. Check out also a COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY tailored to OCD. I forget what it's called. Came along after I stopped doing a lot of therapy.

2. My bias is not to go the med route but that is certainly an option.

3. REWIRING THE STINKIN' THINKIN' IS THE BEST ROUTE, TO ME. Takes dogged determination but has no med side effects and is very lastingly effective. That's where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy type stuff comes in.

4. Even before you find a good therapist for such you COULD begin.

5. You COULD say to yourself . . . even in one tiny area . . .

"NO. THAT'S NOT NECESSARY. I'M BIGGER THAN THAT. I'M STRONGER THAN THAT. I'M MORE RESILIENT THAN THAT. I WILL OVERCOME."

And a dozen other variations of that sort of affirmation that you could write out ahead of time and switch from time to time.

You can also tell yourself that THE WORST THAT MIGHT HAPPEN WOULD BE BETTER THAN BEING A SLAVE TO OCD. SO I'M GOING TO FACE THOSE FEARS DOWN AND FLUSH THEM AS INCONSEQUENTIAL REGARDLESS.

AND THEN STICK TO THAT AFFIRMATION--IGNORE, RESIST *ALL* OTHER THOUGHTS.

Doggedly RESIST thinking on, dwelling on ANY contrary thoughts to that affirmation.

REWARD YOURSELF in a list of ways. for even tiny steps of progress. Have a menu of healthy ways to reward yourself for tiny steps of progress.

IF you want fairly rapid progress in an area, DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THE OCD HABITS HAVE ENSLAVED YOU TO. For example, you could smear some mud on a doorknob. Then go in or out the door and handle the dooknob firmly. THEN REFUSE TO WASH YOUR HANDS FOR AT LEAST 90 SECONDS TO 15 MINUTES--as long as you could stand.

Yes. Losing loved ones and other insecurity inducing experiences can trigger or make OCD worse.

Trouble is, life IS COMPLEX, MESSY AND dangerous.

So what.

LIVING WITH OCD MAKES IT MORE DANGEROUS AND MORE UNWORKABLE and destroys the very LIFE out of life.

I carry wetwipes with me partly because it was somewhat of a greater health issue overseas and also I have had a chronic sinus infection and bronchial infection problem that clean hands helps minimize. However, even though that somewhat tweaked a slight amount of lingering OCD tendency . . . WHEN I WOULD CATCH THAT element rearing it's ugly head, I'D SLAP IT DOWN HARD. I would deliberately endure dirtier than usual hands for however long until I felt I'd slapped the OCD stuff down sufficiently hard for a long enough number of minutes or hours.

And, at some point, I refused to go back and check the car door or the house door. I would CONSCIOUSLY DELIBERATELY NOTE AS I LOCKED THE DOOR, THAT I WAS DOING SO--AND THEN I WOULD REFUSE TO GO BACK AND CHECK IT. AND, I'D REFUSE TO RUMMINATE ABOUT IT IN MY MIND.

The more I disciplined myself in those ways--the quicker and more fully the OCD fell by the wayside.

It's somewhat important to begin to see OCD as a torturing slavemaster robbing you of peace, hope, serenity, calm, sanity etc.

It may help you to research ANXIETY DISORDERS on the net and practice some of the methods for combatting anxieties in general.

It's particularly important to avoid obsessive ruminating thinking dwelling on WHAT IF'S.

THE FACT IS that following OCD habits does NOT significantly lessen your chances of problems or hassles. IT ACTUALLY INCREASES THEM IN A LIST OF WAYS.

Facing that fact and adjusting your behavior accordingly can be very liberating.

Focus on the liberating freedom that you seek, need and deserve.

CLAIM YOUR LIFE BACK.

YOU CAN DO IT.

reply to post by slidingdoor


CERTAINLY

!!!!CONTROL!!!!

is a major feature of OCD.

That's one reason that SPONTANEITY can be a helpful friend in overcoming it.

Do at least 1-8 things a day that are very loose, spontaneous, fairly UNControlled.

However, you can carefully ONE TIME lock the door; wash your hands when dirty; drink from clean glasses etc. i.e. you can be RESPONSIBLY IN CONTROL but not obsessively.

You can control your time and how you allow others to interrupt you or take your time or demand something of you.

YOU CAN ESTABLISH FITTING BOUNDARIES IN RELATIONSHIPS--read the book:

BOUNDARIES.

You CAN control the fact that you MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF to relax; enjoy calming music; enjoy nature; enjoy a craft or hobby where you're learning to refine skills that are useful and produce beauty. etc. etc.