This video clip struck me so deeply, I feel like it expresses my life right now

This is from the movie A Scanner Darkly. It's a good movie but that's not the point...even if the rest of the movie is ignored, this one scene stands out and speaks to me. You don't have to know anything about the rest of the movie. I feel like it somehow is important, it expresses something hard to express.

For people who have made big life changes, good or bad, for people who are lost, or remember something. For people who wonder how they got here.

Watch it, maybe you will see what I am trying to say. Maybe not, but maybe.

"...Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing."

I haven't seen the movie, and all keanu reaves jokes aside,
I freaking love cel-shaded graphics.

reply to post by MeesterB

Because of The Matrix alone I love Keanu Reeves but A Scanner Darkly is a great movie regardless of Keanu.

i adore philip k. dick (who wrote the original a scanner darkly novel, one of his best) and i thought this movie was pretty great. his explorations of identity and the nature of reality is always folksy yet poignant as anything. he's been called a poor man's jorge luis borges and, in an age of scientific absolutes, a modern philosopher. defintiely one of the most important voices of my younger days.

perhaps this wasn't what you were getting at, op, but that segment always reminded me of black flag's family man

reply to post by godWhisperer


That family man thing was really disturbing.
Perhaps it was intended to be a rant against the repetitive hypocritical existence of the so called 'family life', but in the end it only made the creator of the bit appear to be a complete homicidal megalomaniac lunatic.

reply to post by muzzleflash


you know what? it's been 20 years since i actually listened to that thing and i have taken for granted how out there that thing was/is.

some might know black flag as a quintessential west coast punk band from the 80s, this being during their period featuring henry rollins (you might recognize his voice as the reader's) and i had blocked out that weird, "coming for you" aspect of the piece. what i held on to was the disillusionment with bourgeois trappings that it starts off with, and that reminded me of some of the things PKD found so troubling in his book.

but you are right, muzzle, i should have played that thing to refresh my memory and i probably wouldn't have put it up there. besides, my interpretation is that the character is the OP's video is experiencing more of a crisis of realization, so to speak, whereas the 'flag were just angry.

no harm meant. sorry OP.

Originally posted by godWhisperer
flag as a quintessential west coast punk band from the 80s, this being during their period featuring henry rollins (you might recognize his voice as the reader's) and i had blocked out that weird, "coming for you" aspect of the piece. what i held on to was the disillusionment with bourgeois trappings that it starts off with, and that reminded me of some of the things PKD found so troubling in his book.

When I was a kid in the 80s I had a very disturbing dream that my mom ran away with Henry Rollins. No fooling.

I suppose it is along similar lines as the vid in terms of frustration at...normalcy, although its more aggressive than the wistful feeling I get from the first vid. Anyway, thanks for your post..

reply to post by FailedProphet


rollins was a scary dude! i wouldn't want him after me.

i agree PKD was much less aggro about illustrating how he felt about the subject of cultural detritus like lawn mowers and christmas lights. PKD always had an autobiographical slant to his novels, and he was in a bad personal place when he wrote a scanner darkly, and i think there is a real tone of sadness underlying much of his work in the 70s. it was a hard time for him, some people think he was losing his mind.

this video segment is interesting because, while it doesn't really capture the crux of the scanner story, for me it possibly sums up dick's personal desire of wanting to have a family (he was married five times) but still struggling to deal with the responsibilities that that entailed. he often wasn't the best spouse/father/friend, from what i've read. not only that, but the character in that scene is clearly reaching a point of intense introspection and is trying to come to terms with a racing, drug-biased perspective of a reality that could seem malevolent at times. he's wondering, perhaps like you might be wondering, OP, how he got there.

but the messages in his books almost always strike a chord with me and i would rank a few of his novels as some of the most important of my life. i'd like to hear more about why this particular clip meant so much to you, OP! i always appreciate relating to others on all things PKD.

This is a fantastic movie. I haven't watched it in some time. Good pick