10 Reasons Not To Marry - Why Men Should Avoid The Trap

Originally posted by unworldly
There is such an imbalance between the sexes that it's light-years beyond ridiculous.

I can somewhat empathize with men who have a little bitterness concerning women and relationships, but I have virtually zero empathy for jaded, bitter women who bash men. The reasons why are simple: women have options; men don't.

Whereas a man is continuously well aware of his utterly pathetic lack of opportunities and thus, makes dues with what he can get; a woman--make that *any* woman--consistently has many multiple and various options to choose from in regards to dating and relationships.

Even good looking, educated, successful men are forced to choose from among the pitiful sampling of trolls that notice them... but a woman who is mediocre at best, or worse, has next to nothing going for herself, will always be able to date well out of her league. Therein lies the difference in the sexes.

If you are a woman, then regardless of what you look like, how much you weigh; the condition of your health or teeth; where you work (or even if you work at all); where you live; what kind of car you drive (or if you even have one); what your goals and ambitions are (or if you even have any); etc., so on and so forth... you will always--*always*--have your pick among dozens of potential suitors.

Whenever I observe a woman spewing forth some sort of sob story about what some guy has put her through, I can't help but feel as if my intelligence is insulted. Just based on the fact that you are female, your options, by default, are infinitely broader than mine... so because of the fact that you chose to love a jerk, I'm supposed to feel sorry for you? Forget it.

There are numerous men out there who are practically bleeding in their souls for the chance to love and cherish a good woman... and yet, as we all know, women are like flies--they buzz right past all the beautiful flowers in life to land on a clump of feces. When the stench becomes too much for them to bear, they expect the world to pity them. I don't think so.

In specific regards to marriage, yes it is foolish for a man to get married--for far more reasons than the few points touched upon by the OP.

This is very true. My friend Steve Hoca is the most passionate person on the radio about this subject. He tells it like it is, that women have all the choices in America and can still get dates, even if they are disabled, whereas a disabled man will never get a date. Everything is lopsided toward the women's favor. Here are some of Steve's truthful interviews.







If you like Steve's interviews and passion for truth, I've hosted an index of them on my interview page here:

www.happierabroad.com...

The obvious solution to this lopsided scene against men is International Dating. To learn why, see this comparison chart of key differences:

www.happierabroad.com...

Originally posted by nightstalker78

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by Manhater

 

Wow Manhater you have claws. I guessed there was some reason's for your name...All's I can say is...Good list.

This is a buttkissing post if I ever saw one !!

Negative, if you saw that in what I wrote...Sorry bro, your a bit on the slow side.

I just kind of wondered were her tag name came from, I did not wonder for long...But still it is good to put a story to the name.

Now the real question is...If a dude came in here with a name such as, womanhater....How long do you think it would take for him to be banned?

This story in the op is old, I have heard it before...I know its beginning, its middle, and its end.

Carry on soldier, and try not to assume to much...Because you suck at it. So much so that you just might be a woman.

Look what a friend of mine told me about marriage. It makes so much sense doesn't it?

Hi Winston,

I don't need to read your essay -- I agree 100%. Ask anyone, "What are the advantages for a man if he marries?" Absolutely zilch. If you screw two women when you are unmarried, no problem. Do it when you are married and you might go to prison.

You can work 30 years to earn money to buy a house. You marry, buy a house to start a happy family in... and after 6 months your wife or you want a divorce. You lose half the house, and SHE is probably the one who gets to stay in it. WTF?! She gets 15 years worth of your savings, for just having BEEN with you? For 6 months? Bullcrap. Never #ing again. Been there, done it twice.

The most important reason for me: Marriage kills relationships. Drains the life out of it. Being unmarried means that you or she can leave AT ANY TIME. So you both make damned sure to respect each other and go the extra mile. Right? After marriage, it's like being neighbors in a prison cell, chained to each other.

I also do not need a church or state to sanctify/give me permission and a certificate to be with a woman. How stupid a concept is that? Duhhh.

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird

Originally posted by nightstalker78

Originally posted by galadofwarthethird
reply to post by Manhater

 

Wow Manhater you have claws. I guessed there was some reason's for your name...All's I can say is...Good list.

This is a buttkissing post if I ever saw one !!

Negative, if you saw that in what I wrote...Sorry bro, your a bit on the slow side.

I just kind of wondered were her tag name came from, I did not wonder for long...But still it is good to put a story to the name.

Now the real question is...If a dude came in here with a name such as, womanhater....How long do you think it would take for him to be banned?

This story in the op is old, I have heard it before...I know its beginning, its middle, and its end.

Carry on soldier, and try not to assume to much...Because you suck at it.

So much so that you just might be a woman.

This is so true. You can get away with being a man hater in society, but not a woman hater. Pure double standard.

Likewise, all comedians know that when you make a joke about men and women, or comparing them, you MUST ALWAYS frame the joke so that the women come out on top and make the men look like silly fools. ALWAYS. It's an unspoken rule.

What is the logic behind that?

Also, why don't feminists complain in situations like the Titanic, when women and children get to leave the ship first? Why are women's lives more important than men's? What happened to equality? Why don't feminists complain about that? Hypocrites!

Men are treated badly in American society. No question about it. Most men are happier overseas once they go abroad and see the natural benefits and how men are much more respected outside the matriarchical USA.

What counties do you suggest for quantity for the average guy?

From your list of 10 reasons NOT to marry:

1. You might regret it - Welcome to this thing called life. Life is an unwritten adventure that we control ourselves. Nothing is guaranteed, and thus everything is subject to "buyer's remorse." Several years ago I bought a Toyota that I thought was perfect, but after a few months of driving it, I soon came to regret my decision. Part of living is learning to effectively deal with the curveballs that sometimes get thrown our way. Life isn't perfect, but a mature person learns to adapt and deal with it rather than cower from potential pitfalls.

2. It will kill your sex life - I largely disagree with this statement, and would counter that for many of us, the stability of a committed relationship can actually enhance your sex life. If you find yourself uninterested in your partner, it may be a sign that you lack sufficient commitment. If you find yourself getting bored of being with the same mate, you should communicate with them and come up with ways to spice things up.

3. You can never experience romantic or sexual variety again without breaking your vows - This may ring true if your primary goal is to get laid by as many people as possible, however many believe that marriage is a relationship that transcends endless uncontrolled sexual exploits.

4. You can never make any new friends of the opposite sex again, without your spouse becoming suspicious or jealous - If your partner seeks to control your acquaintance list, you've either unwisely chosen someone with jealous tendencies, or you've given her a reason to distrust you.

5. Marriage does not necessarily make you happier - Again, all just a matter of opinion. My first marriage was a disaster, but my 2nd marriage was by far the most fulfilling experience of my life.

6. Divorce rates are high and rising - True, but maybe that's because more people are getting married even though they may not be ready/mature enough to commit to a permanent relationship.

7. A man could lose his property, assets and children in a divorce - ANYONE could lose their property, assets and children in a divorce. Men don't reserve exclusivity in that regard. My question to you, though, would be why property and children are even a concern to you? Both are symbols of permanence and stability, neither of which you seem to hold in very high regard. Raising a child is challenging as it is, but doing so when one chooses to hop from one partner to another is hardly a healthy environment in which to raise kids.

8. Marriage is artificial and unnatural - Marriage, in its current form, may be artificial, but committed relationships are hardly a new concept.

9. Marriage takes away your freedom and liberty - Yes, most marriages tend to revoke your license to sleep around. It's a choice you have to make... marriage and stability, or a wilder singles type lifestyle.

10. Marriage was created to benefit society and women, NOT men - Marriage, in itself, is nothing more than a legal contract between two individuals. There are general expectations that entering into said contract usually entail, but the "fine print" is an open book that can protect and benefit all who enter into that agreement under the right circumstances.

*************
*************

Let's face it, what you seek is a life of free sex and no commitment, not love or relationship. The nationality of you partner is irrelevant, and lacking key ingredients like love and commitment, most marriages, regardless of where you enter into them, WILL fail. Marriage is about permanent and mutual attraction and respect, not just something to hold you over until something more attractive crosses your path.

My tuppence worth...

And yes... I'm a MAN!!

1. Better to regret things you have done than thigs you haven't.
2. No, sex gets better because you learn to know what each other enjoys.
3. Why can't you be romantic towards your wife?
4. Nonsense, that depends on your partner and if you're upfront and truthful about it there is no problem.
5. True but it doesn't necessarily make you depressed either.
6. Oh no, someone in the world jumped off a cliff.. now I have to
7. That depends totally on your lawyer.
8. Marriage is what you make it
9. You mean you want to shag around? Do things together, you lose nothing of your liberty.
10. What is wrong with benefitting society? Especially if it's though a life of happiness with your love?

Check this out! A popular female celebrity/fashion blogger named Jezebel just attacked my anti-marriage article (the same one posted here) that was posted in YourTango. But as you can see in her critique, there is hardly any substance or serious points. Most of it consists of hyperbole and petty one-liners. I'm not sure what her point even is. lol. There are a lot of comments posted in the feedback section though.

jezebel.com...

Originally posted by ~Vixen~
From your list of 10 reasons NOT to marry:

1. You might regret it - Welcome to this thing called life. Life is an unwritten adventure that we control ourselves. Nothing is guaranteed, and thus everything is subject to "buyer's remorse." Several years ago I bought a Toyota that I thought was perfect, but after a few months of driving it, I soon came to regret my decision. Part of living is learning to effectively deal with the curveballs that sometimes get thrown our way. Life isn't perfect, but a mature person learns to adapt and deal with it rather than cower from potential pitfalls.

2. It will kill your sex life - I largely disagree with this statement, and would counter that for many of us, the stability of a committed relationship can actually enhance your sex life. If you find yourself uninterested in your partner, it may be a sign that you lack sufficient commitment. If you find yourself getting bored of being with the same mate, you should communicate with them and come up with ways to spice things up.

3. You can never experience romantic or sexual variety again without breaking your vows - This may ring true if your primary goal is to get laid by as many people as possible, however many believe that marriage is a relationship that transcends endless uncontrolled sexual exploits.

4. You can never make any new friends of the opposite sex again, without your spouse becoming suspicious or jealous - If your partner seeks to control your acquaintance list, you've either unwisely chosen someone with jealous tendencies, or you've given her a reason to distrust you.

5. Marriage does not necessarily make you happier - Again, all just a matter of opinion. My first marriage was a disaster, but my 2nd marriage was by far the most fulfilling experience of my life.

6. Divorce rates are high and rising - True, but maybe that's because more people are getting married even though they may not be ready/mature enough to commit to a permanent relationship.

7. A man could lose his property, assets and children in a divorce - ANYONE could lose their property, assets and children in a divorce. Men don't reserve exclusivity in that regard. My question to you, though, would be why property and children are even a concern to you? Both are symbols of permanence and stability, neither of which you seem to hold in very high regard. Raising a child is challenging as it is, but doing so when one chooses to hop from one partner to another is hardly a healthy environment in which to raise kids.

8. Marriage is artificial and unnatural - Marriage, in its current form, may be artificial, but committed relationships are hardly a new concept.

9. Marriage takes away your freedom and liberty - Yes, most marriages tend to revoke your license to sleep around. It's a choice you have to make... marriage and stability, or a wilder singles type lifestyle.

10. Marriage was created to benefit society and women, NOT men - Marriage, in itself, is nothing more than a legal contract between two individuals. There are general expectations that entering into said contract usually entail, but the "fine print" is an open book that can protect and benefit all who enter into that agreement under the right circumstances.

*************
*************

Let's face it, what you seek is a life of free sex and no commitment, not love or relationship. The nationality of you partner is irrelevant, and lacking key ingredients like love and commitment, most marriages, regardless of where you enter into them, WILL fail. Marriage is about permanent and mutual attraction and respect, not just something to hold you over until something more attractive crosses your path.

Thank you for posting, that link in the OP had a ton of spam behind it.

I could be married if the girl agrees beforehand to always give me attention, therefore I can make the commitment to always give her attention, because if she does ever make me jealous I will hold her to the agreement. I do agree that marriage was created to benefit society and women. All a man wants is food and sexual attention, he would be able to invite a priest over and watch a football game for the reception, kidding

reply to post by WWu777


I've been hurt by a couple of chicks in my life, but I feel like this article is a little biased dude. I think a girl hurt you somewhere down the line and this is the reason why you wrote it. Sure, marriage has its ups and downs, but in the end, you have to be careful what type of woman you choose. Finding any girl is easy, finding the right one to raise your children will be a tough one. But everything comes with risks, in the end, its good to have someone, but also, before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself first, or else you will not last a damn minute in this hectic world alone lol.

Question:

I was wondering. What if you have needs and desires for romantic love, but also for freedom? Are they mutually exclusive desires? How do you reconcile or balance them? Is there a win-win situation without conflict?

Originally posted by WWu777
Question:

I was wondering. What if you have needs and desires for romantic love, but also for freedom? Are they mutually exclusive desires? How do you reconcile or balance them? Is there a win-win situation without conflict?

Marriage isn't for everyone.

Marriage, in my opinion, is about balance, or which trust and love and key components. Not everyone is willing to compromise though, which is why the divorce rate is what it is. Generally speaking, people like to spend time with someone they love and for whom they share mutual romantic attraction. That (usually) doesn't preclude having friends and doing things with others, but each couple is different and must be balanced depending on the dynamics of that particular relationship.

reply to post by WWu777


What a bunch of crap.

Paralyzed guy up the street married a beautiful woman and just had a baby.

And no, not all women get dates.

I've been thinking: Isn't it true that the real reason why most people get married is simply because everyone else is and they don't want to be left out?

If you think about it, isn't that a stupid reason?

If you think about it, you realize that it's not necessary to involve the government in your life and create an artificial contract like that. You can have a monogamous commitment without marriage, by simply living together and being together. Why involve the government? That makes everything messy, complicated and expensive if you decide to divorce later.

Plus it doesn't make sense to swear an oath to love someone forever. I mean, what if you change your mind later or regret it? How can you promise never to change your mind?

Most people are stupid sheep and believe everything they are told. That's why they are sent to school - so that they can memorize large volumes of data to regurgitate them on tests, which condition them to obey and accept everything they are told without question. But once you start questioning things rather than taking them on faith, you realize that most of what we are told and taught are FALSE LIES.

That's the important lesson I wish to impart to you all.

reply to post by WWu777

1. You might regret it.

And you might not. Life is all about risks. What if you applied that maxim "You might regret it" to other things in life? I've been married for 8 years now, and it's still the best decision I ever made. I don't regret it at all.

2. It will kill your sex life.

We had our lulls, but overall, and recently, I can't complain. We make time for it about once a week or so, depending on what we're doing that week and what's going on in our lives.

3. You can never experience romantic or sexual variety again without breaking your vows.

I guess that depends on the couple. For example, my wife is also attracted to women, which of course could certainly lend itself to variety and fun, including the coup de grace for most guys, the elusive threesome, etc.. Also, you can still do variety even without going that route...wigs, costumes, a bit of roleplay, all kinds of ways to add variety all while with the same partner. As for breaking vows, it depends on your vows. My wife and I are soulmates, and that kind of connection and love-making is way better than just a casual roll in the sack.

4. You can never make any new friends of the opposite sex again, without your spouse becoming suspicious or jealous.

Well, there's always going to be a little of that, but if you are truly in love, and secure in your marriage, there should be no doubt whom the other is coming home to. Besides, we both have total access to each other's means of communication, so there's no secrecy there. Also, I know quite a few lesbians, so she never has to worry about those, hehe... She gets more jealous with HER friends as they always flirt with me,

5. Marriage does not necessarily make you happier.

Much happier than I was doing the dating game, that's for sure. Sure, there are occasional disagreements, but that's true in ANY relationship, not just marriage. Also, since there is more at stake, it makes resolving the disagreement a big priority for BOTH partners.

6. Divorce rates are high and rising.

Ah, but why? The simple answer is that people get married too young. People shouldn't get married until they are in their 30's. Until then, they usually just don't know what they want, where they are going, etc. It's too uncertain of a time to get settled down. Of all the people I know who've been married for years (me included), ALL of us got married (or remarried) in our 30's. Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean I will...

7. A man could lose his property, assets and children in a divorce.

And without a wife, he may never have property, assets, and children in the first place! Two people can live together a lot cheaper than two apart. Because of this, you can save. If both work, you can combine income. If one works, there's another to stay home and take care of the home and children. I'd be a MUCH poorer man than if I never married.

8. Marriage is artificial and unnatural.

Well, our society evolved it over centuries, so not sure how one can make that claim. If you're referring to our sex drive and inclination of other primates to maintain a group of females, then I see where you are coming from, but I have to think we're more geared towards monogamy.

9. Marriage takes away your freedom and liberty.

Freedom and liberty to do what? Be with other women? See my answer to number 3 above. As for keeping a stable job, isn't that a goal regardless of marital status? True, the dream of travel and adventure could be stifled by marriage, unless your partner shares those same ideals... Traveling with someone you love is much more fun than doing so by yourself.

10. Marriage was created to benefit society and women, NOT men.

I get a lot out of my marriage, so no complaints here. I will agree that marriage was invented by the state to basically produce more workers and consumers. That is the goal and structure of it. But, that doesn't mean there aren't other merits. As for the multiple hot women comments throughout the essay...dude, you grow out of it (unless you're Hugh Heffner). Besides, while you're young, go for all of that, have fun, but eventually, too much of anything will get tiresome if you don't take steps to switch it up now and then. Sure, Hugh's surrounded by blondes that are 10's and young enough to be his granddaughters, but is he truly happy, or does he wistfully long for the one that got away, that he thinks is "the one". If you ever read his bio, you'll see for yourself it's the latter....

the author betrays his naivete and lack of marriage-ability in the view point of the list he's created.

The list is solely in terms of "I", "me", and "my".

Marriage only works when it's "we" and "us."




People who are filing for divorce use the same language as the author:

"I'm just not getting anything out of my marriage any more. It no longer work for me.

If it sounds like the speaker is married to him- or herself, then they probably are. God help the spouse.

Originally posted by tovenar
the author betrays his naivete and lack of marriage-ability in the view point of the list he's created.

The list is solely in terms of "I", "me", and "my".

Marriage only works when it's "we" and "us."




People who are filing for divorce use the same language as the author:

"I'm just not getting anything out of my marriage any more. It no longer work for me.

If it sounds like the speaker is married to him- or herself, then they probably are. God help the spouse.

edit on 20-3-2012 by tovenar because: (no reason given)

Shaming language, almost cute.

The simple fact is:

between the blatant discrimination guy's experience in marriage, divorce and child rearing + the sheer level of misandry in our society(all the psychological and emotional abuse males are exposed to since birth) + the outright discrimination against boy's and young men in our educational system =

Who in their right mind would want to get married, or take a course of action that would enable this sick and twisted Matriarchal Gynocracy to continue?

Tip of the day.....don't judge all relationships by how your last went.

Just because one partner was a cheat, lazy, abusive, deceitful, whatever, doesn't mean every partner will be that way.

Sure, it takes a while to build trust up again, even after years, but give people a chance to prove you wrong and they will.

Remember the good in your last relationships so that they don't eat you up completely, and move on. As a wise man once said, "Love like you have never loved."

I am divorced, i obviously loved my ex-wife enough to get married and have two gorgeous kids, and we had great times. Unfortunately it wasn't all great and wasn't to last. That said we still get on, do our utmost to not argue and keep bringing up the past, and things are settled as a result. She has remarried and is happy, i am in a relationship of 8 years and am happier than ever before.

It can happen. Marraige is no different that any strong relationship, you get out of it what you put in. You also learn by the crap times too, you get to know what you will and won't put up with in life. If that means missing out on marrying again, then so be it.

I just feel that you could be shutting out the best time of your life because of past experiences.

I wish you all the best in whatever you do though, everyone should have someone in my opinion, whether thats a friend or more.

CX.

lol Threads like this make me want to just go up to my husband, wrap my arms around his neck, and yell, 'THANK YOU for being one of the good ones!"