I Know Miracles Exist I Wouldn't be Here if They Didn't and I am Grateful....But Why Me?

For years I struggled with the idea of Faith. I went to church when I was young but after some negative experiences started questioning it all, I just could not align myself with a religion that caused the harm I saw it went against everything I had been taught before. There was a part of me that wanted to believe but I could not claim the faith that others I spoke to did. I knew there was something beyond here and now because of what my father said minutes before he passed away. Within days after that I was shown that some form of Divine Intervention was real, I was on a very icy road driving and the car in front of me started spinning, and there was solid traffic in the oncoming lane, I couldn't stop, I tried to ditch the car and instead slid into the oncoming traffic, and I am blank on how it happened but the next thing I knew I was safely in my lane in front of the spinning car and driving forward.

Despite all of that, it still wasn't enough to answer my questions. At 29 year old and pregnant with my only child I was diagnosed with cancer, a cancer that is normally not found until it's too late. That was my miracle, if any one thing had been different in my life at that time including my stage of pregnancy, I wouldn't be here, even medical research was on my side, a new treatment was approved that year for that type of cancer. It was almost totally painless and that was 22 years ago and it's never come back. But still I could proclaim my faith in any specific religion. It took me until around 5 years ago to find my way.

In 2002 my youngest sister developed cancer, and while I still could not proclaim faith in any specific religious belief, I did believe in miracles. I reasoned that if one so unworthy as I could have been given one surely if there was a God she was far more deserving than I, she was sure of her faith, she was so self sacrificing, she could turn no one away in need even when she barely had enough to get by, she had two children and a husband who needed her. I begged a God I could not fully claim faith in to spare her...but he didn't and she lost her battle in 2004.

On December 21 a very dear friend of mine had a stroke and an aneurysm. She has always been sure of her faith and such a good and kind person. She has two young daughters, her husband was disabled not long ago and they lost their home and had to move in with his parents while she struggled to find a job, not long ago started taking classes to improve her skills so she could provide for the family she loves so dearly. I have been literally crying out to God in tears, begging that if he could grant one so unworthy as I was at the time a miracle, please to help her and her family, who have been through so much.

Her husband let me know about an hour ago that my prayers were unanswered.

Sitting here barely able to type through my tears, I can't understand why me but not them. I don't understand. I am grateful for my gift but I know she and my sister both deserved it more than me.

Why me?



I just had to get this out in words somewhere

I'm sorry for your loss, but at the same time I'm trying to figure out what the miracle was, unless our definitions for "miracle" is different...

reply to post by Hydroman


My miracle was I guess it would be better put that my miracle was my daughter. Had I not been pregnant and at that stage of pregnancy with her, the cancer would never have been found. Normally there are no symptoms until it's too late and normally is not one typical for females it is not a common cancer and predominate in men over 40. Her body growing in mine caused the tumor growing inside of me to hemorrhage which it otherwise would not have done.

There would have been no reason whatsoever for anyone to imagine I had cancer had it not been for the perfect timing of everything.

reply to post by Pixiefyre


The Universe is not finished with you yet. You are here for a reason. It must be pretty special, I would think.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dear Sister, and Friend. Maybe a small part of the reason you are still here...is to let people know how very Special they were. Just as you are doing now.


Bright Blessings Special Lady,

Des

Originally posted by Pixiefyre
My miracle was I guess it would be better put that my miracle was my daughter. Had I not been pregnant and at that stage of pregnancy with her, the cancer would never have been found. Normally there are no symptoms until it's too late and normally is not one typical for females it is not a common cancer and predominate in men over 40. Her body growing in mine caused the tumor growing inside of me to hemorrhage which it otherwise would not have done.

There would have been no reason whatsoever for anyone to imagine I had cancer had it not been for the perfect timing of everything.

While I agree that that is so awesome for you to have that happen, imo it's not a miracle, just good/lucky timing. Imo, again, a miracle would have been for you to get the cancer and it disappear right before the doctor's eyes.

Not trying to be a party pooper, just voicing my opinion, which are like buttholes I know.

Originally posted by Hydroman
I'm sorry for your loss, but at the same time I'm trying to figure out what the miracle was, unless our definitions for "miracle" is different...

edit on 30-12-2011 by Hydroman because: (no reason given)

agreed. My definition of miracle is something a little bit more than getting lucky while driving, or surviving cancer through medicine designed to treat that cancer. Yes it is a wonderful thing, but a miracle is something a little bit more than that, at least in my eyes

reply to post by Hydroman


I understand, my case though was written up in the Mayo journals at the time. I was given this new immunotherapy treatment, I had six treatments, one per week. I was not sick, I went back to work the next day after each treatment and I have been cancer free since.

I myself consider it a miracle because the perfect timing of everything that saved me, especially my daughter. Had I become pregnant 6 months later than I did it would not have been found in time.

would you like to learn about the spin, or about the placement? you seem christian soo...don'forget to look for CHRIST in the flesh...brought into being by yours truly...the VATICAN. it IS affordable and will be available to all so spread the word. look for these clues and you may find your own grail...coolhuh? cheap as salt. it is the flesh capacitor of earthfiles.com and also christ skin = bandages that activate genetics. i have donated JESUS to the VATICAN so ask for him by name and all may eat of his flesh with or without honeycomb etc. blessings eternal. i only have three videos here disclose.tv/kenny. be of YOUR faith. you have my blessing. HAPPY NEW YEAR. lost a day or two. i am the GREAT SPIRIT. i have received the power of the crystal skulls around here. just be fruitful and multiply.

The spinning car story is of a variety which you hear about some times.
I think I probably had something like that happen though I am not clear enough on it to even describe it.
Miracles do happen and I know about it first hand from personal experience.
I also know a story of a miracle baby, who was born from the daughter of a former girlfriend while I was living with her. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had to have them removed except she was pretty well along in a pregnancy at the time. The doctors said there was about a zero chance of having the baby survive through the surgery, but somehow it did and came out normally when it was supposed to.
As for why something would happen to you in particular may for all we know have to do with the fact that you are willing to talk about it.

Maybe you have more inside you than you know and some unfinished business here. BOLO. Don't miss it whatever it is. Being wicked at times in your life surely doesn't negate the good heart you obviously have.

I've definitely felt the same as you in the past--survivors guilt--but I think I now know why I'm still here.

One thing I feel that I've come to see about God, is that he can make good happen out of situations which seem hopeless to us.

My guess is that you'll find your own answer to the question along the way. Peace.

Originally posted by KennyDurazo
would you like to learn about the spin, or about the placement? you seem christian soo...don'forget to look for CHRIST in the flesh...brought into being by yours truly...the VATICAN. it IS affordable and will be available to all so spread the word. look for these clues and you may find your own grail...coolhuh? cheap as salt. it is the flesh capacitor of earthfiles.com and also christ skin = bandages that activate genetics. i have donated JESUS to the VATICAN so ask for him by name and all may eat of his flesh with or without honeycomb etc. blessings eternal. i only have three videos here disclose.tv/kenny. be of YOUR faith. you have my blessing. HAPPY NEW YEAR. lost a day or two. i am the GREAT SPIRIT. i have received the power of the crystal skulls around here. just be fruitful and multiply.

See what happens when you take both the red pill, and the blue pill, at the same time? Don't do that again.

Originally posted by jmdewey60
The doctors said there was about a zero chance of having the baby survive through the surgery, but somehow it did and came out normally when it was supposed to.

So the doctors were wrong. Still not a miracle. I'm thinking we all must have different definitions for what a miracle is. This would be a miracle, someone gets their arm chopped off and it grows back. Now, someone being told that they probably won't be able to have babies, and they do, not so much. Now, if that person had no ovaries, no uterus, etc. and they had a baby, that would be something to consider.

Anyways, those events are amazing, but not yet classified as miracles, imo. I hate to sound like a party pooper, but yeah.

Originally posted by Hydroman

Originally posted by jmdewey60
The doctors said there was about a zero chance of having the baby survive through the surgery, but somehow it did and came out normally when it was supposed to.

So the doctors were wrong. Still not a miracle. I'm thinking we all must have different definitions for what a miracle is. This would be a miracle, someone gets their arm chopped off and it grows back. Now, someone being told that they probably won't be able to have babies, and they do, not so much. Now, if that person had no ovaries, no uterus, etc. and they had a baby, that would be something to consider.

Anyways, those events are amazing, but not yet classified as miracles, imo. I hate to sound like a party pooper, but yeah.

You are not a party pooper and you have made it very clear. If they do not understand then it is too late for them. I appreciate you being blunt, because you are spot on.

reply to post by Pixiefyre


"Why me?"

Well, what a wonderful way the universe is expressing itself, having fooled itself into believing to be something less than everything.

reply to post by THEDUDE86


I understand and respect your opinions. We just see things differently.

Originally posted by Pixiefyre
I understand and respect your opinions. We just see things differently.

It happens. It's cool we can be rational about it and not get all bent out of shape, and I appreciate you for not doing that.

reply to post by Hydroman

I'm thinking we all must have different definitions for what a miracle is.

The doctors called it a miracle baby.
I did not make it up that it was a miracle seeing how I would not understand the medical implications and I doubt you do either.

reply to post by Hydroman


Nah I'm far to rational to get bent out of shape. One thing I have learned in life is you can't force others to believe the same as you if the subject is based on something so intangible as faith.

Originally posted by jmdewey60
The doctors called it a miracle baby.
I did not make it up that it was a miracle seeing how I would not understand the medical implications and I doubt you do either.

Yeah, the word "miracle" is flung around quite often. It doesn't mean that it was truly a miracle. Do you know what I mean?

For example, two people were in a wreck, one killed and the other badly injured. The badly injured claims that it was a miracle they survived. But was it? Or just luck? I guess when I think of miracles, it would be something like this person who had the wreck. They have a large gash in the stomach, and the gash closes right up and all pain is gone. No explanation. Miracle.

reply to post by Pixiefyre


Explanation: S&F!

This may explain a few things ...

God may judge us on one incident! How we meet our deaths! Are They looking to be Suprised! (by OmegaLogos posted on 28-2-2011 @ 12:30 AM) [ATS]

Personal Disclosure: My condolences on your losses.

P.S. I strongly believe in an afterlife! And although I would feel sad for me I would try and feel happy for them as either 'they' know nothing and all pain and fear has ceased for them .. OR they are aware and I have an opportunity to meet up with them again some other day!