posted on Dec, 25 2011 @ 02:57 PM
CAUTION READER: if you are intent on having a day full of "good tidings of great joy", i suggest that you may not want to continue reading this
post.
i am not a christmas hater. in fact, in recent years i have made a radical re-assessment of my level of enjoyment of holiday festivities. the basis
of my reassessment has been, in short, to try to quantify how much my activities during the holidays (thanksgiving thru new-year) aligns with my
developmental goals.
this, obviously, is a very personal measure. i will explain my method and its use.
__________
in order to measure something, you must first define a standard of measurement. for me, it has become necessary (this year and last) to separate
myself entirely from the holiday trappings in order to obtain a necessary level of objectivity. when you release yourself from the obligation of
participation in the holiday social arena, you may then use the internal physiological and behavioral responses to your lack of participation, both
of yourself AND OTHERS, as the standard. some common occurrences are anger, and the guilt-trip.
make no mistake: you are here trying to identify just how much you allow your personal integrity to become sacrificed at the alter of
social obligation. this is a measure of your personhood.
i can hear your arguments about the value of sacrifice....and to a degree, i agree with you. however, you must first love yourself before you can
love others (or perhaps both at once). if you are "loving others" while at the same time pushing your own identity into the mud, you have succeeded
only in bringing both parties into submission of the other. therefore, i would like to coin a new phrase: "self-FULL sacrifice". the meaning of
this new term is actually the same as the intended meaning of "self-LESS sacrifice". however, in order to resolve the two conflicting terms, you
must come to define an equality between "other" and "self".
but that is just so much philosophy....what does it mean???
__________
last night i attended a family christmas eve dinner. it was probably the same dinner that you, yourself, also attended last night.
when i had had my fill of food, i commented aloud that i might like to finish my plate, but that i was just too full (darnit, this stuff is so
delicious!). my overweight auntie (in a room full of extremely overweight people) responded with the following: "well, christmas seems like a good
excuse to me."
?!?!?!
my response to that was a real show-stopper: "you do not need an excuse. you may do as you please. no rationalization is necessary."
you see, people LOVE to find reasons to justify their self-destructive (ANTI-developmental) behaviors. at their core, people really hate
themselves a lot. and in a society filled with increasing incidence of individual self-loathing, christmas has become the #1 excuse of ALL TIME to
perform a sacrifice of the self at the pleasure of the group.
christmas, in other words, has become a cult.
--pretending that you can afford all of those PRESENTS!!!! because santa is AWESOME and you DESERVE it!
--....wait a second. santa? you're not still lying to your children are you?
--were you sure to look your best for the gift exchange? well, of course, there will be pictures taken!
--etc.
__________
dont believe me? just try it. for the remainder of the afternoon and evening i urge you to do the following simple task: ask yourself how much are
YOU really getting out of this, in terms of nourishment for your own soul?
is there any part of this that you would prefer to not be doing?
then, why are you doing it?
you do not need an excuse. you may do as you please.
in fact, you MUST do as you please.
if you leave your christmas festivities today feeling like you just spent the day on-the-job, you deserve to spend some time pondering that.
__________
i have written this thread because, if what you're seeing in your life is even remotely like what i am seeing in my life, the state of the human soul
is deplorable. and yet, everyone around me presents the appearance of the JOY-JOY-JOYfulness that they certainly must be experiencing.
interacting with hypnotized robots is tiring.
i hope that you, dear reader, are a fully actualized person filling your day with activities which are enriching for both you and those around you.
but, somehow, i doubt that is the case....
best....
p.s. my responses to this thread will be very limited. thanks.