A New Life...(D&R)

The day of my death was an exhausting experience, with such pain and the sorrow of leaving my family behind. I only wished for it to be quickened and end soon, but it did not. It seemed to last for hours. My blood drained slowly from my body as I was shot in the crossfire of a gang related event. I found myself lying in the darkness of the streets, alone and in fear of what was to come.

My life memories were flashing before me as if in a movie as I came in and out of consciousness. Hour after hour, I lay there dying with no one in sight to call out for help. I was not a religious person, but in my last hour I began to pray. I asked to be given a chance to live, or at least make this life go quickly as the pain was beginning to be over barring.

In that moment after praying, I felt my soul be lifted into the air like someone or something was pulling me magnetically. I had no control of this, but my pain and fear was gone. I looked down from the sky and seen my poor body in the street, in a huge puddle of my own blood. Then I looked up, and saw a bright silhouette of a being. It did not seem human. It was tall and skinny, with longer arms than mine, which were reaching out for me and waving me to come with it. My senses were of a strong wanting to go with this entity and felt pure joy and love surrounding me. As I was drawn to go, I also felt a sense of knowing I belonged somewhere else.

Together we rose to the stars and I had a view of the Earth below me. A beautiful site, I thought. We rose even farther into the vast space filled with planets and stars I had never before seen or heard of. Then, suddenly we were swept into a Black hole. In an instant we were transported to another planet. It was magnificent, with bright and beautiful gardens everywhere. The smells were enveloping my every senses, I could even taste the smells of the flowers. The sky was lavender with three Suns and what looked like Saturn, but different in colors like a rainbow around it. Then we were greeted by another being, and it took us to a place of what seemed like a transitional point for many different beings. I saw people and other beings like me brought here just as I was. We were all sat down in a circle around what looked like a crystal skull. The beings started to meditate and I started to feel an intense feeling of pressure. The beings started pointing out to different people and a bolt of light would envelope them.

After this would happen, they would disappear into nothing. I did not fear this for some reason; I eagerly wanted this for myself. Then the time came for my turn. I was pointed to and the bolt of light reached the top of head and then down to my toes. I felt a sensation of gravitational pull and a feeling of pressure. This lasted only a few seconds, and then everything went dark. I was in a dark place and could not see well at all. The pressure was getting stronger and I felt another feeling that was as if I were being squeezed, then I saw a tiny light. The light was very bright, so bright I could not look into it directly. Then it began to get bigger as I felt my body being squeezed and it got more and more intense.

Then all of a sudden, I was in this bright light. There were people all around in white and blue suits with masks on their mouths. They were holding me and looking at me, then started to clean me because I was all bloody again. Then I started to cry loudly, and was carried to one person who felt good to me, someone familiar. I was reborn.

Ok, so im thinking the end should have had a bit more to it..oh well
It was fun writing it anyway.

SnF, but...........

Your link in your sig says D&B. Fix dat.

Then, please make paragraphs. Walls of text are unacceptable. Ask masqua u2u to have the "magical" chance to edit your entry. PLEASE.

Sorry for being so harsh, but I'm OCD.

(Regardless of my criticism, you have talent!)

No problem, I can handle criticism..Thank you for the S&F..
I thought the contest rules said any writing form?? I sent a u2u for Masqua..

reply to post by lyons666


*bows deeply*

reply to post by Druid42

Should be fixed soon...Yes it does seem a bit hard to read..I have never written this way before(was something different), guess I wont be doing this in my future writings...

Yes...All fixed...Now it reads much better..