Secret Keepers

I'm not sure that this topic belongs in this forum but, I couldn't find one that quite fit so, feel free to move to a more appropriate place if necessary.

Do people seem to want to tell you their secrets?

Do you ever wonder why they trust You?!

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the power you hold with the knowledge you have been entrusted with?

I'm wondering if anyone else has thoughts such as mine......

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


i like to tell random people on the internet who dont know you and most likley dont care

You have to approach it the way that I did: with common sense. No one has the right to make you bear a burden you never intended to carry. If someone drops a secret in your lap, you have to work out whether that secret is worth keeping, needs to be brought into the light, or is something you can just ignore. Most often, I've found, when people tell me their secrets, they're really just looking for companionship; a friend to help them through some troubled times, until they feel confident in standing on their own two feet again. If you've been handed secrets, I'd recommend looking into the psychological standing of the secret-giver, and see if anything in their personality, or character make-up might be crying out for support of some kind.

~ Wandering Scribe

Originally posted by tetriswoooo
reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

 

i like to tell random people on the internet who dont know you and most likley dont care

hmm? not sure I understand what you are trying to say but, nice try on your part.....maybe next time.

Originally posted by Wandering Scribe
You have to approach it the way that I did: with common sense. No one has the right to make you bear a burden you never intended to carry. If someone drops a secret in your lap, you have to work out whether that secret is worth keeping, needs to be brought into the light, or is something you can just ignore. Most often, I've found, when people tell me their secrets, they're really just looking for companionship; a friend to help them through some troubled times, until they feel confident in standing on their own two feet again. If you've been handed secrets, I'd recommend looking into the psychological standing of the secret-giver, and see if anything in their personality, or character make-up might be crying out for support of some kind.

~ Wandering Scribe

edit on 19/12/11 by Wandering Scribe because: grammatical errors

thank you so much for your insight....I've known these friends have needed companionship and I have done everything to make sure they knew my support was available anytime they needed it.....I guess the secrets I've been told just seem to interact with too many mutual folks....know what I mean? it's become.....complicated.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


Pretty cool thread might I say, yeah a lot of people tell me about a lot of things in their lives. I just have a big problem of accidentally saying things that ends up getting back to people, a problem that I have to work on. I realized this awhile back and I guess its just something I need to figure out. But yeah, I have been entrusted with a lot of secret things from a lot of people.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


You're never obligated to keep secrets for large groups, unless they're all somehow supporting you in what you're doing for them. Otherwise, you're just being set up as a possible scapegoat. I've been in similar situations, where multiple parties had come to me in confidence with bits and pieces about each other. I tried to play the field level, and keep everything calm and contented. Eventually, as you let everything build up you'll be overcome, and swallowed in the playing field.

As humans though, we're often to short-sighted to actually do the right thing, and knock the pieces from the board, and walk away from the game. I can only wish you luck in making the right moves, to remove your piece from play, before you're turned into the target of both sides of the fray.

~ Wandering Scribe

It seems to me that when most people tell you a "secret" it is all but unimpressive and completely worth forgetting. I don't have much of a problem keeping them quite nine times out of ten. When that tenth time comes I resepct the other person's wishes if they made it clear not to let it out.

Now, if they don't make that clear then the way I see it they gave you this secret just out of companionship so that you too may be in the know. So, I naturally assume they won't mind (unless the secret is very personal, like herpes level) if share the secret with someone just as close to myself so long as I know that person won't cause trouble with it.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

Do people seem to want to tell you their secrets?

Yes, though not so often nowadays as when I was in the secret-sharing age group (between six and thirty-six years old according to my estimates).

Do you ever wonder why they trust You?!

No. Obviously they trusted me because they thought

1. that I could be trusted with a secret, and
   
   
2. either they were confident that I would understand and sympathize with their revelations, or they thought so little of me that they regarded my opinion of them as of no consequence.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the power you hold with the knowledge you have been entrusted with?

No, I have more self-belief than that.

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

I don’t talk about it. Not very often, anyway.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

Do people seem to want to tell you their secrets?

Yes they do.Even people that i meet for the first time,after a short conversation,they trust me with secrets.

Do you ever wonder why they trust You?!

I guess i have one of those faces Seriously now,someone once told me that my eyes glow with compassion and wisdom.She told me that she would trust me with her life.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the power you hold with the knowledge you have been entrusted with?

Not really.I see it as aa burden.

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

I feel like the CIAI just try not to think about it.First of all their secrets are safe with me.I would never use a secret against anyone and i try not to interfere.When i am asked i do give an advice,but i think twice about doing it and i always hope that it's the right one.

It's a big responsibility(getting bigger when they ask for advice) and if there is one thing that i'm serious about in my life,it's this.Honestly i don't think too much about it and i don't know how it started,but it seems like it happened forever.
BTW i'm the kind of person that hardly share my secrets with anyone.I don't feel confortable,even to my closest friends and family.
Ironic isn't it?

Originally posted by Astyanax
reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

 

Do people seem to want to tell you their secrets?

Yes, though not so often nowadays as when I was in the secret-sharing age group (between six and thirty-six years old according to my estimates).

Do you ever wonder why they trust You?!

No. Obviously they trusted me because they thought

1. that I could be trusted with a secret, and
   
   
2. either they were confident that I would understand and sympathize with their revelations, or they thought so little of me that they regarded my opinion of them as of no consequence.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the power you hold with the knowledge you have been entrusted with?

No, I have more self-belief than that.

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

I don’t talk about it. Not very often, anyway.

edit on 20/12/11 by Astyanax because: of quote detritus.

Dang it...I would really like to Not like you but, for some reason, I just can't help it.

you are funny as u know what

Originally posted by Wandering Scribe
reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

 

You're never obligated to keep secrets for large groups, unless they're all somehow supporting you in what you're doing for them. Otherwise, you're just being set up as a possible scapegoat. I've been in similar situations, where multiple parties had come to me in confidence with bits and pieces about each other. I tried to play the field level, and keep everything calm and contented. Eventually, as you let everything build up you'll be overcome, and swallowed in the playing field.

As humans though, we're often to short-sighted to actually do the right thing, and knock the pieces from the board, and walk away from the game. I can only wish you luck in making the right moves, to remove your piece from play, before you're turned into the target of both sides of the fray.

~ Wandering Scribe

Never remove your piece!

Always keep it in play but don't become the pawn unless it werks for you.

Ribbit

Originally posted by Phantom traveller

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

I feel like the CIA

I just try not to think about it.First of all their secrets are safe with me.I would never use a secret against anyone and i try not to interfere.When i am asked i do give an advice,but i think twice about doing it and i always hope that it's the right one.

The Secret of Secrets is to keep all secrets and to never use one against its source but use it well on anyone else.

So if your source isn't CIA and the secret is about the CIA, use to your heart's content.

Ribbit

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

Dang it...I would really like to Not like you but, for some reason, I just can't help it.

People who know me in real life are often like that, too. Other times they just hate me.

you are funny as u know what

Thank you. Not everybody gets the joke.

Do people seem to want to tell you their secrets?

Yes, I have been a confidant to others as long as I can remember.

Do you ever wonder why they trust You?!

Because I'm a good listener. People feel comfortable and accepted with me. I look them in the eyes and hear what they say and what they don't say.

Also, I don't speak unless I have something to say, and I'm not going to waste words blabbing someone's confidences.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the power you hold with the knowledge you have been entrusted with?

Nope. Honestly, I forget most "secrets" fairly soon after I learn them. It doesn't make a difference to me either way unless it is something about a type of abuse. Then I get into "Mama Bear" mode and charge in to the rescue.

How do you deal with so much secret "responsibility"?

I just accept people as they are. It's not a responsibility. I look at the secret as another facet of the person, and as an insightful tidbit to add to the collage of information associated with him/her in my mind.

Originally posted by Astyanax
reply to post by MagesticEsoteric

 

Dang it...I would really like to Not like you but, for some reason, I just can't help it.

People who know me in real life are often like that, too. Other times they just hate me.

you are funny as u know what

Thank you. Not everybody gets the joke.

I often find myself in the same situation.... sometimes I wish I was ignorant...seriously.

reply to post by MagesticEsoteric


Hi Mag,

Yes,

Plenty of people have told me their secrets, and I keep them.

I don't feel burdened by these secrets, because they belong to other people.

And I would never tell.

Maybe I should feel flattered.