Post a Funny Story, Make us Laugh.

With the advent of ATS always being so upbeat and cheerful, I thought a funny story thread would be a good idea. Sometimes we need to find humor and laughter amongst the perpetual doom and gloom.

It can be a headline, story and/or picture with story.


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Ok here is just a little story that always makes me giggle.

One of my best girlfriends is quite the airhead. We love her, despite her tendency to not understand things no matter how well explained. I have been friends with this girl since the third grade and I can guarantee you that this is how she has always been and always will be. To tell outsiders that don't know her well of the stories I have makes people often go "There's no way she can be that airheaded" well, she is, and with that here is the story.

She had just gotten married about three months before this. Her husband was planning a wonderful vacation to upstate South Carolina, right near the North Carolina border. He. however, did not tell her this. What he did do was show her a small map of South Carolina and North Carolina, and pointed right at the border to illustrate to her where they were going. Wide eyed my friend stared at him and exclaimed "I better start packing!".

My friend drug out all the suitcases, all the winter coats, two coolers for food, and set to making TONS of sandwiches and treats for the road. Her husband, every busy and always working, didn't really catch what was going on. He didn't catch on until she asked for the credit cards so that she could go shop for snow boots.

Shocked, her husband turned around and said "Baby, where do you think we are going?". She exclaimed "CANADA, JEEZ we are going to be in the car for a week at least, you havn't packed one god forsaken thing!!" once her husband got over the laughing enough to talk, he called me on the phone to tell me what "my friend" had said. She thought the map he showed her was America and Canada, she thought they were going to the border of Canada.

We will NEVER let her live that one down!!!!!!

Ok.. heres a true story and it still makes me chuckle.

Once when we were visiting at a relatives..the women were all inside the house talking..and the guys were outside playing some sports game.

The discussion in the house turned to how children and husbands are always asking the mothers where their possessions are.

How many mothers have heard .."mom..wheres my back pack?".. "mom..where are my shoes?" .."honey.. do you know where my phone is?"..etc..etc.. like we are the keepers of their things.

We were discussing how this is frustrating.. when all of a sudden the back door opens...the husband of the womans house we were at yells.. "barb..do you know where my balls are?"..and heads downstairs.

We all burst out laughing.. and someone yelled to him as he was going downstairs.." frank.... if you need your wife to help find your balls..you have major problems."

He was looking for baseballs.. but the timing couldn't have been more perfect...and the women had a good belly laugh over that.

Edit: ..I changed the names .. to protect their identity..

Well since we are tossing in personal stories here is mine, it's funny now, but at the time it was the most embarrassing moment of my life.


Years ago we had my in-laws over from out of town. Now these people are good, by the book, Christian people, really prim and proper, and never walked on the wild side.

Christmas time setting about 5 years ago, warm fire, egg-nog in hand, everyone is getting into family conversation, there was about 15 of us total, we are all sitting in the living room.

Out of nowhere our 2 year old comes out of mommy and daddy’s bedroom, with 2 pink objects in his hands, one in the left and one in the right. He was giggling, laughing and making them wiggle away. Now, at that moment I could see a distressed look appearing, on their faces, but I had my back to my son, so I couldn't see a damn thing.

As he passed me by I could see the objects, out of the corner of my eye, but it was too late to intercept. Everything after that was in SLOW______Motion....

My son scurried to the center of the room grasping everyone’s undying attention, as he spiked both of mommy’s intimate pink play toys into center of our conversation. As they hit the ground they danced and bounced a bit.

His mother nearly passed out. Now by this point you think no more harm can be done, Wrong! our little one said, “buzz hmmm buzz buzz mommy” Looks up at her and waits for her approval.

Without saying a word I quickly scooped up both toys and made them disappear back into our room. I had tears running down both sides of my face from holding back the laughter, in our bedroom. I gained composer, then returned to the living room.

As I returned I was ready for someone to say something, but I looked around, and felt the awkward tension as the conversation went a different route. Everyone pretended it didn't even happen. For me it would have been a great laugh and conversation piece, but no one said a thing.

I almost said, "so honey are you going to have another one of those “Girl's Toys Parties” or what?", but I held my tongue.

Later that night I told his mother, it’s probably best if you put those things a lot higher up now. And we both busted out into a tearful laughter.

I still today laugh my butt off about the situation thinking, WTF was going through their minds.

Here is a funny short story I found awhile back. Joke/ Short story.

www.writers-free-reference.com...


Irishman almost having sex

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again.

For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box '

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box and, according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

True story

I rarely eat fast food but this particular time my former significant other and I went to Taco bell and ordered our food. We waited longer than normal [No, they weren't that busy at the time] finally we received our order and found a table to eat. My then Girlfriend unwrapped her crunchy taco and it hardly had ANYTHING in it. Now we both knew that your food rarely IF EVER look like the pictures but this particular time there was hardly any beef.

So I walked back up to the cashier to ask for more beef. While this was going on a large group of people had came in behind me. The cashier smiled and asked if there was something else? [Having just given us our order] "Yes" I said. I showed her the taco open faced and said there was hardly anything in it. Without missing a beat she asked..

"More Lettuce?"

"No" I said "More AIR please!"

The group who were behind me in line about 10 all started roaring in laughter.

WE got a stuffed taco like the picture.

reply to post by SLAYER69



Slayer that was hysterical.


What's going on with folks at ATS, don't you have a funny story to share?

Come on, Tell us!