The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Family is more important to me, as opposed to material things.

Being in a hospital with others in the same boat, I noticed many patients have no family visiting them. I was fortunate to have almost daily visitors and I more or less shared my visits with other patients, and they became just as happy to receive them as I was. The last thing you want is to have alienated people throughout your life and find yourself alone at the end. Everything becomes crystal clear at this point.

Even if you believe their is something more beyond death, we've all been born on Earth at this time for a reason. And whatever that reason is I'm sure it has nothing to do with working monday to friday 9-5, being 'respectable' or paying off the mortgage....

You're right. We're here because that's what species do: reproduce.

I really can't stand people claiming we're here for a reason. There is no purpose for us, we're just living things on this planet causing trouble and doing what we do.

But other than that, superb thread.

Thanks for posting this, I have no fear of death as I believe somewhat in a form of afterlife. However, I am still fairly young(20), I have many dreams and ideas I am on the verge of realising so this post has given me an extra push. If we are given life it means we were meant to go beyond our dreams, not for the sake of pride when dieing but pride at the moment.

Originally posted by SeventhSeal
I really can't stand people claiming we're here for a reason. There is no purpose for us, we're just living things on this planet causing trouble and doing what we do.

But other than that, superb thread.

It's pretty obvious that you're a nihilist, and so am I, in some respects. But I do try to find meaning in the small things in life, albeit I don't believe there's a meaning to life itself. Finding appreciation in things that are ordinarily ignored and unappreciated is something I regard as important. And among these are the essential feelings as our senses, eg. sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

reply to post by OwenGP185


Thank you for your contribution. I am hopeful that there's something waiting for me on the other side, but aside from that, I want to be sure I've treated the people in my life the right way. The a-holes got what they deserved, but most importantly I treated my family and the ones I love as royalty. That's the only thing I know can be accounted for.

Originally posted by Droogie

Originally posted by SeventhSeal
I really can't stand people claiming we're here for a reason. There is no purpose for us, we're just living things on this planet causing trouble and doing what we do.

But other than that, superb thread.

It's pretty obvious that you're a nihilist, and so am I, in some respects. But I do try to find meaning in the small things in life, albeit I don't believe there's a meaning to life itself. Finding appreciation in things that are ordinarily ignored and unappreciated is something I regard as important. And among these are the essential feelings as our senses, eg. sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch.

reply to post by OwenGP185

 

Thank you for your contribution. I am hopeful that there's something waiting for me on the other side, but aside from that, I want to be sure I've treated the people in my life the right way. The a-holes got what they deserved, but most importantly I treated my family and the ones I love as royalty. That's the only thing I know can be accounted for.

No meaning. We're not special. We're on the same level as an ant. But as long as we treat each other with respect, then great.

This post really makes me want to quit my job and start something new! Like trying to be what everybody tells me I shouldn't be.

All my life I felt like I am not in the right place.

I feel like I need to teach. Teach myself how to unlearn all the false lessons I let this world give me.

My girlfriend is going to kill me!

I am 21, but most of the time I feel older than I actually am, more experienced. I think about death so many times, there are times I cannot sleep because I feel everything I know is dieing.
The rest of the time I think about what I would do if someone else would die.
I believe in after-life, I think we may be in a virtual reality or there are parallel lives to live after, and even during, this one. Dreams, iper-realistic dreams make me feel like its real every morning.
Thinking like this is conforting for me.

In 2008 I started having panic attacks, and some times I still have them now. The first time was for a maths test at school, the second time, for the dentist, but the third time hit me, it was big. It was the 15th birthday of my brother and I was alone at home. I was watching to a window, when suddenly, it clicked on. My heart was beating too fast.
I rushed to my neighbors claiming I was feeling sick, and they made me stay in their bed and started measuring my pressure. It was very high, so they called my father, who is a doctor.

THAT day, I was sure I was going to die. The thoughts in my mind were rushing, and I was thinking and telling my neighbors " I am going to die ". I started thinking, and called out loud in my mind for certain people to come.

After that day, I developed various phobias. I fear the change of intensity of light.
My parents during the first two weeks were very afraid, I couldn't look to a computer screen without being afraid, I couldn't watch tv anymore. When my father told me I was going to be seriously ill for this fear, I came back to using computers and tvs without being afraid of the light.
I litterally couldn't stay under the sun light.

It lasted, for my great luck, only 2 weeks, and than almost everything came back to normal. At least I don't look like a crazy person.

Last year was very intense for me. I was one of the last person to see someone alive, that the same day died suddenly in a accident.
Few people actually realize how it influenced on me.

Its more than a year now, but it changed me. I was thinking about getting a car licence, but I didn't get it because, and this is the real reason, I wanted to avoid to have an accident.
In life I learnt these things:

- When you stop needing something, THAT'S the time you receive it.
- You never stop learning.
- The things you learn are the reason for you to live
- Reality hides in plain sight. The most things are illusions and tricks of life

I am not in the best years of my life, I have already many regrets, for my personality, for the time I dedicate to certain things instead of other ones, but I hope that I gave something to learn from me to somebody.
I hope I am being useful to someone.
Last year, 2010, was so intense, this year has been more like a drag, I meet with much fewer people, I am not extremely satisfied with my life.
I watched my parents, the life they do, what they have to do, and sometimes I would never have to grow up, and be responsible, sometimes I feel the need to be responsible for more things.

My life experiences have been very singular, I met every kind of person, and I can sincerely say, that nobody is truly happy. The only person I have ever known to be always happy is a born crazy girl.
Everyone has big secrets to hide, sincerity is found nowhere. Denial is everywhere.

I watch people showing off their problems, and they don't even realize. If I ever try to talk about their weaknesses, they get shocked, like its taboo, something that can never be said to them.

And I ask myself, who ever will tell them they 're wrong when they cannot accept it? I had experiences, I was like them, I denied my mistakes and went through hell because of it.

I have regrets, most of them are in friendships, people to whom I never said certain things...There is so little time for a friendship to grow up and develop. I always think I could have done better.
I always wanted to give instead of receive. That is my biggest problem and I learnt to realize and think about it.

People are important to me. I would spend days getting interested about people. There are periods I am very social, but lately, I've been increasingly self-conscious.
I litterally think about my whole life every day of my life.
I can retire into my own consciousness and my world, I feel myself I am so complex, so multi-faceted that it would be very hard for others to understand me.
I rarely let people becomimg intimate with me. My privacy is very important to me, and I feel so lucky to have one sometimes.
Life is increasingly public and less and less private.

Originally posted by musselwhite
compelling topic - maybe i am just one of the lucky ones - all those things i used to regret have actually been my steps to personal freedom - once i became grateful for what i have today; all that i once believed i lost actually was the chain that bound me to this earth - i found out what the "secret of the vine" means - what a very painful journey - i could have gone but 2 ways..............tiptoeing thru the tulips or letting go - i look forward to the golden age -

Recognizing the purpose for personal growth is a blessing, many will tread through this life never realizing the reason they exist in the first place is for growth.

S/F to the OP.
Thanks for this reminder. My father passed last autumn; and though I have lost many dear friends (both human and animal), I had not lost anyone I was that close to.

I was priveleged to be his care provider a couple of years earlier, while my mother went on a much-needed visit to her fam in a distant state. My dad and I got much closer over those last few years than we had been prior. I am grateful for that. Neither of my brothers participated in Dad's care at the end. One was angry at him and the other had long since moved away. I was lucky enough to have the time and freedom to be there for him and my mom.

I did a lot of thinking about death while talking with my dad and watching what was happening. We did not discuss death itself. To my knowledge he did not discuss his regrets or worries with anyone at all. He had accomplished a great deal in his life, and had endured extremely painful losses of his own. He died at home, content with having provided my mother a good life, and lovely home, and the freedom to pursue her dreams. He died with loved ones surrounding him, who had present for several days. I alone walked beside him as they took him from the house. I alone touched his foot one last time and wished him Godspeed. I have never known agony like I do now; but I feel I was there with him and for him, and am thankful for that.

He is with me every day in my heart and thoughts, the objects and images I have around me, the memories I have within me. I'm posting this not only to "subscribe" for later reading, but to add my thoughts: Love the people who are close to you. Make choices to be near them. It can be inconvenient, and time-consuming, but in the end....

life's really important thing is exactly what was stated in the OP:

It's about love and relationships.



Thanks for this thread, OP.

proud to be your 100th flag...its true, we are often so short sighted we do not ready ourselves for the "inevitable moment"....if more people would imagine their dying it would save much suffering in the world...

Originally posted by SeventhSeal

Even if you believe their is something more beyond death, we've all been born on Earth at this time for a reason. And whatever that reason is I'm sure it has nothing to do with working monday to friday 9-5, being 'respectable' or paying off the mortgage....

You're right. We're here because that's what species do: reproduce.

I really can't stand people claiming we're here for a reason. There is no purpose for us, we're just living things on this planet causing trouble and doing what we do.

But other than that, superb thread.

Well to those of us that have found our purpose outside of "reproduction" you sound a bit silly If so many people run around taking about a higher purpose they have found....doesn't ever make you wonder where they found it? Maybe you should try to look again sometime....i am sure you have more of a purpose than just "reproduction" of physical...I will meet you half way....we are to reproduce love...and show others how to reproduce this feeling in others....the PURPOSE is after our bodies die our electrical pattern will only be able to come back in a body that will match its pattern...there are 2 paths you can go down....towards eternal life, understanding and the spread of love, OR the restriction of love and knowledge, with the sentence of death and suffering...

I hope you find your greater purpose, otherwise when you are on your bed you will always wonder what it is we are all talking about...and this applies to anyone of similar dissent, we are containers of energy, and you can only change energies form...you will be alone with yourself for a very long long time....its better to find yourself now, otherwise you will wonder around lost for an eternity once you go over...

When you sprang from your mothers womb I bet you thought it was going to be your undoing....and yet you survived it and here you are debating the next birthing...its gonna feel like dying, but where you end up living next is up to you....

IMHO of course...

reply to post by Droogie


Undoubtedly, my biggest regret will be spending too much time reading internet forums, rather than being out experiencing things more for myself . This was a good read though, I enjoyed it.

The time to consider what TRUELY fulfills your spirit is early in life. To die with regrets is the establishing of endless time loops once you transform from the space dwellers we all are, into the time dwellers we all will be.

Alive as a space dweller, no one can teleport the boundaries of space. Alive later as a time dweller, no one can transport away from the established currents of time we are right now recording. Religions call them "sins". They are behaviors that cause you to look back into a memory. That looking back is a bridge that your after-death, time dwelling self will be forced to cross. Then go forward until you hit that bridge again and you are forced back in an endless time loop.

Good thing there is a Presence that can serve to brak that loop. There is a Door in which you can escape all you are, because of what you have recorded into the material within effective range of yourself which is the recording medium of space.

I got to be with my Dad as he died. The day before he told us he would be going that night and said he was ready, right with God and looking forward to the trip. He told me to be good for Mom (I was 15) and finish school. Then he and Mom sat down and looked through all their photo albums, first to last and talked for a long while. He was tired and slept until a massive heart attack took him early the next morning.
Just as a side bar, I was looking directly into his eyes as he passed over. He was in a lot of pain physically, but his soul was at peace. It really impressed me that we are not our body, just living in a body.

You're right. We're here because that's what species do: reproduce.

I really can't stand people claiming we're here for a reason. There is no purpose for us, we're just living things on this planet causing trouble and doing what we do.

But other than that, superb thread.

---
@OP; What a great thread! It really make's you think of your own life & the choices you've made.

I am only 20 years old, I have hope's & dream's that I would like to achieve, I will not give up on those dreams and will pursue them to my heart's extent!!!!

I am here for a reason, in time, you'll know.

reply to post by Zagari


You need something important to make your life worth while to yourself. I have friends who have had panic attacks. I don't understand them, but they were sure they might die. I think it was the result of something they didn't want to face headon, so it went underground and then just popped up on them.
As for happy people. I have a wonderful joyful life. Even in disater, I still have peace and have found important meanings even in the most horrendous events of my life. I even use those lessons to help others through the same rough times that I weathered.
If you would like peace and joy, just follow the signature link.

reply to post by Drala


Stop, just stop

You're not special. You're as special as bacteria on a rock in Mexico. We're just another species and we always feel we have to find some meaning behind our existence or our lives. Just live it the way you want and enjoy yourself. As long you're not hurting others, enjoy life the best way you can.

God cannot lie, so my blessed hope is a mansion in heaven with the Lord Jesus Christ.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Amen.

I've quoted this here before, but it's worth doing so again.

Originally posted by SeventhSeal
reply to post by Drala

 

Stop, just stop

You're not special. You're as special as bacteria on a rock in Mexico. We're just another species and we always feel we have to find some meaning behind our existence or our lives. Just live it the way you want and enjoy yourself. As long you're not hurting others, enjoy life the best way you can.

I wonder if you'll feel the same way, when your own time comes.