How Much Privacy Should Your Realtionship Have?

PLEASE OH PLEASE CAN WE KEEP THIS CLEAN, AND RESPECTFUL. IT IS A SOMETIMES SERIOUS SITUATION AND I AM SURE THAT ATS CAN HAVE AN ADULT CONVERSATION!!

I ask because there is an epidemic of adult videos and those that watch them. I personally dont think its the most horrific thing that a man can do, even though I know that this has turned into an obsession for many men out there.

I just read about a site that will find and report all adult movies, film, and pictures without a download so that women can see what their men are seeing, btw this is for adult sites only.

I thought about it, and there was a point when I was in a relationship and I bought spy software and was amazed how much stuff men look at sometimes.

So this is a question for both men and women. Women do you care about this in your relationship, and men would it bother you if this software was on your computer without your knowledge? Would this stop you, or would you consider this a breach of your privacy?

Can some men have a relationship, watch this stuff without it affecting your relationship, or is it to fill a void that you cannot or have not talked about to your significant other?

And women, does this upset you, and if so, is because of jealousy, or does it feel like hes lying and being secretive, would you rather him tell you, or are you ok with it, as long as you know nothing about it?


Peace, NRE,

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


I think it's important to remember that at least 1/3 of all internet porn viewers are female.

www.geeksaresexy.net...

Personally I feel that if your significant other is not happy with some of your habits (as long as they aren't harmful to either of you) they just may not be the right SO for you. Life's too short to go through it trying to hide things from others especially the one you actually want to share a lot with. And if your s.o. EVER puts software on your computer to track your activity that's a straight up deal breaker in my opinion. Same goes for snooping around your texts/emails. If you have so little trust you shouldn't be together.

I think wanting to watch porn is pretty natural and you get a different enjoyment from it than you do with another person. Just find a SO you can watch porn with

Having my wife/GF spying on me without my knowledge would instantly terminate the relationship if I found out. I don't watch porn much, most of it is boring and repetitive compared to the real thing. Honestly, my memories of the women I have loved are much better than any porn.

I'm sure my boyfriend watches porn and I don't have a problem with it at all, in fact...I find it a bit of a turn on! Plus it would be hypocritical of me to have an issue with it, I have the occasional perve myself from time to time.

I have no problem with porn to be honest. I would however have a problem if you were in a relationship and it was being done in secret. It's not about the porn, it's about trust. If you are into porn and in a relationship then be honest, even if it causes problems. It's only fair to the other person! What if the other person can not handle the idea of porn and doesn't like the other person looking at it. At least give the other person the chance to decide if they really want the relationship, give all the information. Don't hold back and then get mad because the other person can't handle dishonesty. Lying by omission also fits into this! So you may end up losing a relationship, but at least both people have a chance to know the truth and decide weather the relationship is what they both want given all the facts.

reply to post by NoRegretsEver


If my wife was spying on me I would instantly find her suspect, most often people point the finger when they themselves are guilty, it would also lead me to seriously question her motives and values in our relationship.

As for my computer Im on ATS... everything is passworded and locked, cell phone too.

But if my wife wanted to ask me about my online activity I would gladly show her, porn included.

I dont mind a good tommy tank from time to time, but Porn and the real thing - Punani, are two completely different experiences.

As long as you know the difference between thoughts and reality you shouldnt have a problem. . As nasty as are lass wont go, Alexis Texas WILL. therefore I make love to my lady and fantasies about the things 'normal' girls dont do.


BUT, on a side note - i think porn is bad for youth as it makes them think every girl will take it up the ass, or swallow and enjoy it - it takes away the innocence both parties have during sex, in their youth. It puts pressure on young girls because they think they should be as slutty as the porn stars - also giving them a false perception of sex.

As for older people, i think it may even save some relationships

What some people fail to understand is that porn can help a relationship. If you are still 20 you will not understand, but as you get older your hormones begin to take a back seat. They lose their zip. Face it. The best birth control over 40 is nudity.

Men are visual creatures. Women are more situational. Well, if women want attention, they need to allow men to be visual because it helps them become situational. Catch my drift? It can be the difference between being ignored--or not. People "shocked" by porn are woefully ignorant. And spare me the women are not objects BS.

Spyware reflects a lack of trust. If you resort to it, your relationship is already in the toilet. It's just a matter of time before it breaks apart.

I dont think its somthing that causes issues.

Why tell your other half you watch porn, like dont keep it overly secret but dont sit them down like : "yeah so i was watching ______ porn"

i dont see the need like i dont really think its somthing you should need to keep secret or talk about.. i wouldnt tell her when i was going for a beer after work if she wasnt around, i wouldnt tell her if i had a specific sandwich or watched a specific TV program so why tell her about porn i have watched... Like i dunno if im explaining well...

Like i think people make a huge deal out of porn.


and to mention, if you are spying on your other half you are probably guilty yourself.

Originally posted by NoRegretsEver
Women do you care about this in your relationship,

No. I would definitely consider the software a breach of privacy. I don't know how it could be considered anything else. If my husband was involved in Internet porn so much that it affected our relationship in some way, I would confront him about it, but I would never go behind his back. It's a breach of privacy, breach of trust and a huge act of disrespect, IMO.

Men and women watch Internet porn. Men and women in healthy relationships.

I'm OK whether or not my husband watches Internet porn and to tell you the truth, I don't know if he does or not. It's not really my business. And I don't care. He's a big boy and can make that decision for himself. I'm not jealous, nor do I think he should tell me everything. Everyone has private thoughts, wishes and secrets.

Thanks for the all the responses. I figured that it was more or less trust then anything else. I do hope that with these good responses some out there that are having this problem, could see that its about open mindedness.

Peace, NRE.

Originally posted by schuyler
What some people fail to understand is that porn can help a relationship. If you are still 20 you will not understand, but as you get older your hormones begin to take a back seat. They lose their zip. Face it. The best birth control over 40 is nudity.

Men are visual creatures. Women are more situational. Well, if women want attention, they need to allow men to be visual because it helps them become situational. Catch my drift? It can be the difference between being ignored--or not. People "shocked" by porn are woefully ignorant. And spare me the women are not objects BS.

Spyware reflects a lack of trust. If you resort to it, your relationship is already in the toilet. It's just a matter of time before it breaks apart.

Or as I put it,the appetizer before the main meal,catch my drift?
Something to fill the void before the main course.

I'm pretty sure both men and women in most relationships view some porn now and then, and don't necessarily share it all with their significant other.

At times, the wife and I have watched some together, but I've got mine, and she has hers too. After all, the other party may not always be in the mood. Also, there may be some things that turn you on when watching or reading, that you may not necessarily actually want to do in real life.

However, if this activity is too frequent or too obsessive, THEN it's an actual problem, but otherwise, I think people need something like this to be more private, and not necessarily all shared.