what would you do?

reply to post by applesthateatpeople


She's 32. I hope you are right.

I'd take solace in the fact that at least one of these so called hotties is probably some 75 year old grandma who's pinched some lingerie shots.

reply to post by stinavamp


only for masturbating purposes????

well if he is being honest that is ok but if he is lying and sleezying...then smash his face in.

I wouldn't care if I was wife number 300 so long as my Husband aka 'Solomon' was honest to me....

and see this is the type of thing you can become obsessed over...you will check his phone now and become suspicious... and that will affect your happiness.

the only thing left to do...is play a intimate game and tie him up and then scare him into telling you the truth and if need be leave him there tied up over night AND get someone to rescue him that he would feel really embarrassed about ..

and then laugh it off when he gets upset about it

reply to post by stinavamp


It's one thing to use unknown women for visualization purposes...but Facebook friends? (that he may talk to?). That kind of goes into emotional cheating, if nothing else...

Do you have access to his Facebook account? If not, why not? You're married. What should one have to hide from their spouse? I know my wife and I could certainly access each other's profiles.

I think you need to look for some other clues (or through his account) to get the whole story.

Me and my husband both have a facebook account, We both also know each other's passwords.

Not because we don't trust each other at all, It was an agreement we had when we set them up, We both go on each other's accounts to send extra energy for games and such.

Has your husband been over protective over his phone since?

If this happened to me, I would certainly demand him to give me access to his account/accounts to investigate the situation fully, If he has nothing to hide it wouldn't be a problem, would it? We all know any of us can find erotic pictures anywhere on the internet so to me the explanation he used is an excuse. I would also seek marriage counselling to work through it as I don't think its anything to leave him over (unless you do find out more than you expected). As this is bound to cause trust issues.

I hope you both can work through it.

P.S, I would buy him some porn mags/dvd's... No excuse then :-D

Originally posted by stinavamp
I dont know if my marriage can be salvaged but I do know is that no matter what I can go on. I am a fighter,survivor and this only smalll bump in the road in the grand scheme of things.

And that's the attitude you need to keep. You don't sound worthless to me. It sounds to me like the aspect you really need to focus on is if you're okay with being his main meal while he goes out sampling all the side dishes. We all know that's what he's doing, so do you personally have a problem with that? And if so, is it big enough to where you can't forgive and forget?

Originally posted by Thurisaz
reply to post by stinavamp

 

only for masturbating purposes????

well if he is being honest that is ok but if he is lying and sleezying...then smash his face in.

I wouldn't care if I was wife number 300 so long as my Husband aka 'Solomon'

was honest to me....

and see this is the type of thing you can become obsessed over...you will check his phone now and become suspicious... and that will affect your happiness.

the only thing left to do...is play a intimate game and tie him up and then scare him into telling you the truth and if need be leave him there tied up over night AND get someone to rescue him that he would feel really embarrassed about ..

and then laugh it off when he gets upset about it

Now THAT is just plain evil.

But I like it.

Or, create your own account, that he doesn't know is you, and hit him up, and see how it goes, to see how far he's going with these friends....

reply to post by Gazrok


Now, I like that idea!

reply to post by justcurious31


Yep, I can be a devious little bastard when needed...hope she does this.
My guess...the dude's going to fail big-time...

reply to post by Gazrok


I must admit I would do it!

What's there to lose when you have your suspicions anyway? I for one would need to know!
My thought are with the OP though, Must be an awful thing to have to go through, Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

reply to post by justcurious31


but its intrapment then? I would find out why he feels the need, what he would prefer from the relationship, tell them how id feel about certain things and what i want/need, then ask him to delete all the girls infront of me ect then ask for his passwords and i would then offer mine to.

clearly he has things that he hasnt expressed that he feels should be, maybe this was a blessing in discuise?...

mind you i am male and i have been in this situation on both sides of the fence.

reply to post by intuitive


I would definitely try to work it out!
Being female my first thought would be that I would feel like It was my fault by possibly not satisfying him enough, True or not it would affect my judgement on the situation, But as the OP stated they seem to have quite an active sex life even when her sex drive is down she has a deal with him that once a week they have sex in any position he desire's, That's why I suggested counselling.

But on another note my own opinion on my own feelings, Never mind the girls and such, In my mind I would instantly think of the lie's, Why is he lying? Why did he feel the need to lie? Why is he talking to other woman instead of me? And that's where I would feel the trust go, He could say any excuse/truth to me and i would still feel the need to check as he broke the trust by lying in the first place....

And that lie to me would have been that he said he had it for gaming then to change his mind to masturbating purposes only.....

Plus she states that he said "the girls on THIS profile", She never said if it was his genuine account or not, So for entrapment i think they have got past that point, And i would not do it myself unless he refused me his passwords, Then i would..

reply to post by justcurious31


yes you make a good point there regarding going past entrapment, And it does seem more justified by doing it after he has refused, But in that situation you describe it could be fighting fire with fire, I dont think it should get to that stage.

Mind you i suppose every relationship is diffrent.

And about the trust, That is the enemy of anybody it eats away if you let it, without a doubt.

reply to post by stinavamp


I would check to see if this person on your husbands FB actually lives close... there is intention there IMHO...

I've known FB to ruin many a marriage... including mine. Lucky for me it was already over before the facebook evidence...

reply to post by intuitive


Fighting fire with fire? It wouldn't get to that stage if he had nothing to hide, Therefore giving his wife his passwords.

She could then see for herself if he had nothing/something to hide.

If he didn't give his wife his passwords, It would become a BIG issue for her, Therefore fighting fire with fire is what becomes of a distrustful relationship? right?

That's where if you really love the other person (being the husband or wife) No matter what the problem is, especially in a marriage, counselling should happen, So you have a chance to try to explain yourself before its over for good.

I have a close friend that walked out as soon as she saw some "dodgy" messages flowing between her husband and an old friend he had in email, She spoke to him about his old friend (bearing in mind her hubby had told her about this friend in the past) without telling him that she saw these messages, He told her that he didn't know why she was asking him these questions, He told her she was jealous and that she should back off as she didn't even know his friend! .... My friend left him obviously because he was not truthful with her.

If he had been honest they would have probably worked through these problems and been together today!

She regrets it because he didn't go with the friend he was talking to in email even after they split up as she expected..

In my opinion its all about trust and honesty, If you don't have that, You have nothing!

I think that deep down inside you know what you should do... You don't need our approval to do it. You are a smart and intelligent woman. Listen to your heart and make decisions with your head. You'll get there.