The Purina Diet

Hey Ya'll, Here's my adventure of the day......

I was at WalMart buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs.
I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again,
and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load
your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer.
I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say......

That is great. Next time a dummy asks me the same question when buying dog food, im gonna use your story. Thanks for the hearty laugh!

reply to post by LeRoy1968


Thanks LeRoy1968, I had a really good laugh .

reply to post by LeRoy1968
[more

Hahahaha.... dude, I spit my coffee out readying your post... lol good one.

But in all fairness though, the lady was probably concerned with what you feed your dog and most likely was going to make a recommendation.

Purina, in all reality, isn't a top of the line dog food. Same thing with Pedigree.

A 30lb. Purina dog chow cost you about $20+ in retail stores, that's not really good dog food for your dogs dude.

I have a one year old Golden Retriever. I feed her Orijen since she was 6 months. Orijen costs me $75 for 29 lbs. and the bitch finishes almost a single 29lbs bag a month.

But I really don't mind spending that much on my dog's food, I love her like she's my own child, I want the best for her. Orijen is a "Grain Free" formula, which means they do not put rice, wheat, brown rice or any type of grain into the food. It is made in Canada, contains 80% protein, 20% vegetable & fruits. After all, a dog is a carnivore, it feeds on flesh, not grains.

Most pet owners tend to save money but buying over the counter dog foods like Purina dog chow or IAM or Pedigree. They are all 2nd their and 3rd tier dog foods, sometimes they put your dog in very poor health if allergies doesn't kill them first.

So yeah, the lady was probably asking if you had a dog at home and don't feed them Purina. But your humor won the day.

reply to post by truthseeker84


Thank You for the information...
I usually buy big store bags to mix with "The Good Stuff"
I also feed him fresh meats. When I cook there is always some cooked for Chewie!

reply to post by LeRoy1968


So, did this actually happen?

This joke has been around for awhile in pretty much the exact wording you posted.

reply to post by yadda333


yes it has.. I was emailed it years ago and it was pretty much exactly the same.


Joke Jumbo . Com

I don't know who originally wrote this, but I received it in an email the other day. I thought it funny enough to share.

When someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

Pietschsoft.com


shame

reply to post by yadda333


This is why it is in the jokes thread.
I did a search and "Purina Diet" didn't come up.
To answer your question, No it didn't actually happen to me...
It is a Great Joke, so I posted it..... Please forgive me if
I falsely lead you, that wasn't my intention.....
Again, it is a JOKE!

reply to post by Thurisaz


Shame? On me?
I call shame on you.
IF this wasn't a joke, but a real story,
It would have been posted in a different thread.
I apologize that you have already read it.
I would think with the title "Purina Diet" you woulda moved on and not read it again if you
didn't like it the first time. Shame on me? Really?

reply to post by truthseeker84


Just to clarify, this is a joke.
It didn't really happen to me.

reply to post by LeRoy1968


not really funny when you really think about it

lot's of elderly persons are eating dog food nowadays, as its cheaper.

not one of them, but have tried Alpo:

meatballs is my favorite, chicken is pretty good too

stay away from the fake stuff though.

reply to post by DerepentLEstranger


It's a joke, Please lighten up.....
Your reason is one the reasons I do not like organized religion.
I have seen preachers that are living in two different $1,000,000,000 homes, driving a Bentley, While some of their parishioners' are eating cat food...

So it is all in fun...it's not to be taken seriously, hence putting it in the Jokes forum.