please someone help me.

Originally posted by Unvarnished
reply to post by ErroneousDylan

 

By the way, I had my first ex girlfriend who I thought I was going to marry when I was 18.. and guess what, she turned out to be a Decepticon.

Damn, I hate to laugh regarding your story, but that is a helluva interesting phrase, haha!

I thank you all for your supportive replies, it's just that I have a very bad lifestyle. I have no job any more, I am not currently going to college any more, and I used to have an extremely debilitating anxiety/panic disorder that was fueled by my hypochondria (which is gone now because I am so fed up with life that I do not care what happens to me). She came to me when all of this first started happening to me, she was the only one that understood and was accepting. She was my crutch that I needed or would have died. Yes, I can thank her for that, but after so much time of her promising, swearing, reassuring, that we would remain together, I feel worse off. How could I ever find another person to accept me for what I am?

I'm sure I am coming off as a basket case and someone who is just "stuck in a rut" but I am just extremely traumatized right now.

One day we were having the brightest time in my life, the next she left. Her reason was that she was too stressed out with her jobs and school and needed time to herself, so I believe it was not my fault. She claimed though, that all her free time was given to me and that I was creating more stress for her. Why couldn't she have just asked me for space? I hate to sound arrogant but I know she will never find someone as good as me again. She chose a life of school and work over love. From now to the point of laying on her death bed will go by in the blink of an eye. What would you all rather say at that moment? "At least I had a good job, that is completely meaningless once I am dead." or "At least, I had someone who loved me and made me happy." She just isn't the same person she was, as if she received mental damage or something. I just want answers but as soon as I gave her her stuff back (a few hours ago) and she so coldly didn't say anything but "later" she won't even speak to me.

I don't want to learn anything from this, I never wanted the lesson and I don't want the result. I don't care about evolving spiritually. I just wanted to be with her for my life and it will never happen.

and ? people break up everyday..thats life some things arent meant to be..
theres plenty of other girls out there. stop whinging .. dust yourself off go out meet new girls and live life.
cold but thats how the world is.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


"I hate to sound arrogant but I know she will never find someone as good as me again." You are not arrogant my friend, you are speaking the truth, are you the one that lost, or did she? Will it matter a year from now? Hell no it won't!

reply to post by AkumaStreak


Laugh away man! It is the sad but awful truth. Oh well lmao, the B**** was Megatron. A hot Megatron hahahaha

Originally posted by ErroneousDylan
i cant cope with the pain and all i want is death. what kind of god does that to his children

You question because your girlfriend left you? Look at the world and the suffering that exists. You are a melodramatic child.

Originally posted by Josephus

Originally posted by ErroneousDylan
i cant cope with the pain and all i want is death. what kind of god does that to his children

You question because your girlfriend left you? Look at the world and the suffering that exists. You are a melodramatic child.

The mind and the body handle stress and trauma the same way, no matter what the event. I don't care if you think that someone else's problem is lesser or greater than mine. Yes, I do question.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


My friend..why blame God? you chose her right? in your post you state that

She was my crutch that I needed or would have died.

Sounds like she had quite a tall order to fill, not only being the "crutch" to hold you up..but responsible for your life as well. Perhaps you added to much to her work load..you sound as if you need "Her" for your happiness and to make your life worth living. How about you create your own happiness? I am not trying to be mean or rude..but it's not all about you. Develop a sense of yourself, you don't need a GF to be whole or to be happy. Once you can hold yourself up..not need another person as a "crutch" stop blaming God and other people..the right woman will come along..use this lesson to become your own man..you'll be better all around for it. Cheers Coco

Call up one of those chatlines.You get the first 60 minutes free for the trial.Plenty of hot women to take the pain away.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Living 44 years now, I have experienced what you are describing more than once. I am now a teacher and continue to witness this happening to my students for the last 20 years. Here is what I can say:

I dated a girl for 3 years in high school through my freshman year in college. She was still a senior. When she became a freshman at the same university, she changed and went off the deep end in an sorority. It crushed me to break off what I thought was a good thing. I felt the same way you do.

Looking back now 23 years and I see things differently. My Son scored a 27 on the ACT in seventh grade. My youngest son is a little musician that delights me daily. My wife is amazing, much more of a partner than I ever imagined I would have the pleasure of knowing. Had I stayed in the wrong relationship, I can now look back and connect the dots of the direction I would have gone. God had the perfect mate in mind for me, one that I may not have found if I used my own wisdom for the process. Prayer is were I found myself when the first relationship was broken off. I found the perfect partner that made me more than I was or wanted to become. God answers prayer and my life is content and filled with what I asked for in prayer. I simply humbled myself and God did the rest.

I can also say this: Life is concrete when you are young. Ask a 4 year old to choose a dime or a nickle. Which one do they choose? The nickle because it is larger. Ask a 12 year old the same question and they choose the dime because of the value. As we grow in life, understanding abstract relationships begins to resolve our vision by experience. The best experiences are those that represent the phoenix rising from the ashes of despair. We learn the hidden value underlying the surface when we dare to look deeper than our own shallow pride. Learning to love God is the same. All unions begin with love, especially with God. If God didn't love you, you would be stuck with the wrong person. Evidently He loves you enough to bring you here to this turning point. There are no mistakes in life if we trust God in faith. The fact that you mention God at all indicates a desire for the promise He offers. He requires your humility. One cannot be had apart from the other.

Ultimately, the only relationship that can bring the pillars of stability in life is the one we experience by allowing God to lead our lives. In our pride, we think we know what is best. In reality, we can only experience true peace and happiness when we see what is on the other side of love and trust through faith in God. Life starts out literal. It then progresses to moral and abstract. This is the tipping point that show our true colors. Once we conquer our pride and transcend the moral and abstract, we live a spiritual life of faith. We either master our desires or they master us. We are told to overcome from the words of the Bible.

Proverbs 14:12

There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

When Abraham was told to sacrifice his son, he was willing. In the end, he was able to keep what he treasured most when he was found to be obedient to God. All these things we desire in life are there for us if we follow the correct path. Literal, Moral, Spiritual. Moral is where we continue to crash and rise again. Conquer this first.

Good luck

It might also be a good idea to see your doctor you had in the past. Since you once had a anxiety disorder, it is possible you are having panic attacks, thus your "heart hurts".

Try to read an engrossing novel to change your thoughts. Or get outside - go for a run, get some physical activity to help you keep from freaking out.

I understand your pain.
Been there,done that many times.
I am 47 years old,so a little wisdom goes along ways.

Ok,you posted this.

I thank you all for your supportive replies, it's just that I have a very bad lifestyle. I have no job any more, I am not currently going to college any more, and I used to have an extremely debilitating anxiety/panic disorder that was fueled by my hypochondria (which is gone now because I am so fed up with life that I do not care what happens to me). She came to me when all of this first started happening to me, she was the only one that understood and was accepting. She was my crutch that I needed or would have died. Yes, I can thank her for that, but after so much time of her promising, swearing, reassuring, that we would remain together, I feel worse off. How could I ever find another person to accept me for what I am?

Read what you posted .

You do not need a crutch,you,first ,need to concentrate on yourself.
I know the pain,it can be debilitating,but hopefully you will see through it all and pick yourself up.

When I was 19,my live in girlfriend was murdered.
In our apartment we shared, by a friend of hers.
I came home from school and found her dead.

It took some time,but I was able to move on,knowing that I was in charge of my destiny,no one else.
I continued school,graduated,met a girl.
We got married when I was 22.
I got a great job,where I still work.
We divorced 4 years later.
I met the love of my life 4 years later,we got married and had kids.
Life is a journey,enjoy it while you can,cause at the end of the road,is well,you know.
May you have a most fulfilling,joyful journey.

This is a perfect time to head out to the local bar,get your drink on till you wake up with some coyote ugly woman,guaranteed to take the edge off.Repeat the process nightly for a few months,you wont remember the last girlfreinds name.Good luck my freind.I dont always wake up drunk with some ugly woman,but when I do,its really fun.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Congratulations; you've just completed Women 101. You get an A+ for learning what women are good for: destroying you.

Originally posted by kdog1982
I understand your pain.
Been there,done that many times.
I am 47 years old,so a little wisdom goes along ways.

Ok,you posted this.

I thank you all for your supportive replies, it's just that I have a very bad lifestyle. I have no job any more, I am not currently going to college any more, and I used to have an extremely debilitating anxiety/panic disorder that was fueled by my hypochondria (which is gone now because I am so fed up with life that I do not care what happens to me). She came to me when all of this first started happening to me, she was the only one that understood and was accepting. She was my crutch that I needed or would have died. Yes, I can thank her for that, but after so much time of her promising, swearing, reassuring, that we would remain together, I feel worse off. How could I ever find another person to accept me for what I am?

Read what you posted .

You do not need a crutch,you,first ,need to concentrate on yourself.
I know the pain,it can be debilitating,but hopefully you will see through it all and pick yourself up.

When I was 19,my live in girlfriend was murdered.
In our apartment we shared, by a friend of hers.
I came home from school and found her dead.

It took some time,but I was able to move on,knowing that I was in charge of my destiny,no one else.
I continued school,graduated,met a girl.
We got married when I was 22.
I got a great job,where I still work.
We divorced 4 years later.
I met the love of my life 4 years later,we got married and had kids.
Life is a journey,enjoy it while you can,cause at the end of the road,is well,you know.
May you have a most fulfilling,joyful journey.

edit on 20-11-2011 by kdog1982 because: (no reason given)

And what do you do if your current love decides to leave you?

Get a dog.They are less maintenance and better companions.

Originally posted by brindle
I dont always wake up drunk with some ugly woman,but when I do, its really fun.

Haha, this sounds like the Dos Equis guy's STD-ridden younger brother :-P.

profile.ak.fbcdn.net...

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


You move on.Life is to short to waste it on someone who just up and leaves you with no clear reason.
Pick yourself up by the boot straps,and say in your loudest voice,"F#CK YOU"!!!
If that is all I meant to you,you are not worthy of me,I am a better person than that .
Then,go on a good drunk and screw as many women you can.
That's what I say.
Get your confidence back.

Go out,meet the fattest fugliest broads you can find.Have one set up for every night of the week, except friday and saturday nights.Then you make those 2 nights your bar nights.These nights you set out to restock your inventory.Ultimately,you have a few hundred women to select from.You will be the stuff legends are made of.

Im sorry you are in pain.....but think about this, you met her at a time when you needed a crutch. Women are drawn by a mothering instinct. Then after a period of time, the novelty wore off and she was tired of your lifestyle, no woman wants a jobless man without an education to raise their unborn children. Yes it was mean and cold but life is. You will meet someone else.Time for you to get your life in order and stop being so dependent. Anxiety sucks, hopefully you can work it out. Good luck. Prayers for healing.