Cats are Alien Camcorders!

Yesterday I met a cat during my evening stroll. I had a small torch with me, because it was dark, and it lit up the cat's eyes. The cat was carefully concealed under a bush until she wanted to be 'found'.

Shortly afterwards she allowed me to persuade her into my house for a cuddle. Once inside, she went on the grand tour - obviously, I see now, snooping on behalf of her alien masters.

This would have been only a few hours before you made your post warning us of their alien nature - BAH! She caught me before I was made aware of the truth. Psychic little brute headed you off at the pass

Just let her come back tonight trying to get round me for a warm night in with cuddles...... she'll win of course

reply to post by jimnuggits


Hmmmm,.... So is this why I have two cats ? That cuddle with dogs..... Did I mention that the hound outsmarts both cats all the time. My Dalmation outsmarts the little boy cat all the time too... Oh and they all fight for space at the foot of the bed. When I come home from work they all crash up the stairs and swarm me it's really cute, I find it odd such supreme beings sent here to observe us would love to cuddle with hounds and lick my stinky toes.... just saying.


Oh yeah that's right, my cats have a thing for feet. The smellier the more they love em. it's soo weird.

Originally posted by Ilyich
reply to post by jimnuggits

 

Oh yeah that's right, my cats have a thing for feet. The smellier the more they love em. it's soo weird.

OH LORD, TMI!!!
REALLY TMI!

Cats are evil. I;ve always try to kick them and scare them. I hate cats. Dogs are much better anyways.

reply to post by jimnuggits


Love this! I am a cat lover. However, I remember a few years ago reading something on the net about a pyramid in Mexico that someone was exploring. They found something that said something about a link to the gods and a statue. The statue was of a domestic cat.
Oh, that sounded so stupid but remember I read it years ago and I have a bad case of CRS (can't remember sh*t) Just read the first part...I love cats. Thanks for the great read.

Originally posted by jimnuggits
That's right, brothers and sisters, I am here on ATS to steer you to the awful truth about our feline 'friends.' They are biological transmitters working as spies for our Alien Overlords. Take these facts into account and reach your own conclusion... Beware, what you are about to read will forever change the way you see these minions of our extraterrestrial oppressors.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

Freaked out yet? How about these:

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

Still not convinced? I got a few more for the more skeptical among you:

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)

8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

You have been warned, intrepid ATS'ers...

Are you being serious? Really now.

''7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet? (Anti gravity properties)''

That was the most cringeworthy and funniest of them all. I think you may be being sarcastic here but in this situation a cat uses its ears to understand whether its faces up or down, like radar, it levels itself out and uses its extra flexible bone structure, front legs, back legs to sustain the fall, kinda like the best suspension you could ever want.

Anyway, madness is always welcome.

Well... Then this deer is a cyclon, after he attacks a dog, he attacks a cat !!

Why do people on this site reward trolling? Isn't there enough of it already?
If this was under humour/joke section i would have no issues, but giving a person 70+ stars when it is posted under conspiracies will just lead to more people spamming those section with such stuff.

Don't get me wrong though, i think it is well made. I just think it should have been posted under a different section or else it seems like trolling.

1. There is no documentation before Ancient Egypt that mentions the existence of Cats, and IN Ancient Egypt, they are worshipped as Gifts from The Gods.

Except the generations of lions hunted by ancient africans, and the tigers hunted by ancient asian cultures...not to mention the multiple cave paintings you can find with just a quick google search.

2. Science is baffled by a cat's purr, and cannot determine how the sound is produced. (Feedback, much?)

Here's a link to how cats purr..nothing alien about it. (Btw racoons purr as well, are they alien tech too?)

how cats purr


3. If you hold a cat's ears back and describe what you see, it is a perfect match to the classic 'Grey'. Almond shaped eyes, small mouth, small nose.

Um...mine just looks like a cat without ears

4. A cat can see exponentially better than you. Making it appear that it must be more advanced evolutionarily speaking. How?

OMG! Dogs can smell better than us, kangaroos can jump higher than us, squirls can climb better than us, and even fish can swim better than us...must all be alien! ; )

5. Ever watch a cat wake from a deep sleep and run out of the room in an instant? Transmissions from the mothership coming in, and must be alone.

My dog farts and runs out of the room...is he trying to poison me?

6. All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)

With the exception of maybe a hairball every now and then, the only thing that comes out of my cats is urine and poop just like every other animal on the planet...if something other than that is coming out of your cat, I highly suggest you take it to the vet!

7. Cats survive situations that any Earthbound animal would surely perish in. How can a cat fall out of a four story building backwards, and land on its feet?

Birds can fly, fish can breath in water, and roaches can survive a nuclear blast!...this doesn't concern you more?


8. If you die, your cats will eat you. Not really a link between cats and Aliens, but still pretty creepy.

Yes, but so would a lot of other animals.

9. Ever wake up and your cat was sitting on your chest, staring at you? Taking your will not to do their bidding and dreaming of the day their Alien handlers once again fit you for your yolk and chains.

Really? I'm more concerned waking up to find an ex standing over me with a kitchen knife than I am about my cat watching me sleep!

I'm sorry, but I have to say...its posts like this that make people think we wear tin foil hats...

Oh, btw...my cat has a satalite dish sticking out of its butt! Should I be concerned, or just keep feeding it the metal shavings it likes and hope that it falls off?

#6. "All things that come out of cats are totally unnatural. (Not of this earth.)" is by far the most sinister. Let me explain:

ET? Not just, but also inter-dimensional. They have taught humankind the collective arts of yoga asanas, mudras and bandhas, ch'an and om meditation, self-inquiry (equanimity), and the list goes on the more you study them (mostly in vain, of course).

As such, they have since the beginning of time initiated the premature collective shift in human consciousness, leading us to question the nature of our existence, bringing down social institutions and market economies, divide humanity into "i ams versus i haves" and overall draw us into their dimension where their reign is supreme.

Their weapon is sharing information under the cover of benevolence and compassion. Reverse-engineered bio-technology, or mass conspiracy? Take heed!

S+F!
p.s. also irresistibly adorable to some of us for reasons we can't explain.

I love cats, especially when i am hungry! When i was younger myself and a few friends went camping on the shores of Loch Lomond, after about three day's we were starved. Luckily there was this cat that approached the camp from time to time, anyway, on the last day we caught it and skinned it then roasted it over the open fire! It was lovely with the barbecue sauce we purchased the day before, god i love those little f'ckers.

Really................169 flags for this lol

Yes yes, i know they are aliens, i communicate with them everyday.

reply to post by jimnuggits


Have you fallen off your rocker? Actually, don't answer that I think its pretty obvious.

I no doctor but I am pretty sure I can diagnose you as clinically insane. You need some serious medical help and I would suggest you get it before you do and say anything even more crazy..



and 169 flags... really ATS.. and I wonder why I have lost all hope in this site and think everybody here is coo coo... Thank you for proving me right

reply to post by jimnuggits

reply to post by jimnuggits


I do believe that cats can be used for spirits..Spirits can enter a cat and come into you that way as well,but with aliens i don't believe a alien can really do much with a cat..Except kill it

reply to post by jimnuggits


Crazy that i have always told my GF that i felt that cats are gifts from aliens. Sure there are "stories" of where they came from but there has always been something strange about these little furry things. As for them being here for recording purposes im not sure about that. I have always questioned why so many cultures worshiped them. Im right there with you though, I do feel as if they may not be from earth but gifts from out outter world friends.

reply to post by jimnuggits


Cats are the physical embodiment of Yin Yang. Purrrrfect contrast of Good and Evil.

No mothership but................

reply to post by jimnuggits


i think someone watches too much Kid vs Kat lol