This one is for the ladies with a sense of humor.

WHEN GIRLS DON'T PUT OUT"
(girls don't read this if u don't have a sense of humor)

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart. and funny so just go with it

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets
get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

that was hilarious. s+f

Are you ready for round 2?

reply to post by usmc0311


LOL

Brilliant...would lead to a divorce...but brilliant nonetheless!

reply to post by Lynda101


I'm always ready for a good laugh. I'm hoping that the original post will lead to many more stories like this one. I need some laughs today.

Hell yea! Everyone flag this!

reply to post by usmc0311


Funny joke.
I posted that to facebook and all the women hated it.

However she probably would of been ok with having sex if the guy wasn't a one minute wonder.
Women tend to be very receptive if you can give them wild screaming orgasms.

Hehe, i like it.
Sad though that people, (women, i said people to be politically correct) will get offended. Even though this is a joke.
A joke.
Argh
/me keeps himself from writing a rant

But i really do like it
S&F

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

Thanks, you made me choke on my coffee.

HAHA I saw this on FB and cracked up!

I think it's funny and I'm female!

Hilarious! That is something my husband would do to me for sure. I love it, ladies we have to laugh at ourselves sometimes! "I just want you to HOLD this stuff" ahahaha! Nice.

It is a cute story...seen it a long time ago posted somewhere.

But thats exactly what it is ..a story..

Doubt it was based on actual events.

Quite frankly any woman who would let her spouse buy her 3 expensive outfits, and diamond earrings..then want a tennis bracelet..is a woman men should run from.

This is so freakin hilarious. It's one of those funny cause it's true moments. Not to say all women or men are the same but this pretty much breaks it down.

reply to post by usmc0311



that was great!!!!!!!!!!!

Still laughing and cleaning up the coffee I spilled on my keyboard as a result.

Thanks for posting - love starting the day with a good laugh!

reply to post by usmc0311



this was great and I loved it,star and flag for you.
I want my husband to read this one,I know he'll
get a kick out of it.

LOL!!!

Oh I hope my boyfriend never reads this hahahahahahahahaha.
Oh lord. That was freaking hillarious.

Oh man, my stomach hurts from laughing! Never thought of things that way before!

This is old but still hilarious!

S & F for you!