Do you have a funny joke

What does a fish say when it swims into a rock? Dam

What is the difference between a Cowboy and a Canoe? Canoe's tip. (old bartender joke)

Not a joke but funny morel
A young boy and a old man were walking down a road leading a mule. When a lady passed and said "yall are dumb one of yall can ride the mule". So the old man climbs on the mule and off down the road they go. Then they pass a little girl she looks at the old man and said "you ought to be ashamed making that boy lead you around on that mule you mean old man". So the old man gets off the mule and the young boy gets on then down the road they go. Till they meet a young man who said "you little brat get off that mule and let that poor old man ride". So the boy get off the mule and looks at the old man and said "what do we do now" the old man replied "you grab the front legs and I'll grab the back ones". So they did and down the road they go. To get home they had to cross a bridge so they started across and the old mans back gave out and they both slipped and the mule fell off the bridge and drowned.

The morel of the story, If you try to please everybody sooner or later you will loose your ass

I've told this before here, but for those that haven't seen it....

The Arrogance of Authority




A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !!
No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......


With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....





"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"

-Where do pirates do their shopping?

Spaaaaaaarrrrr.....


-What has tupperware and a walrus got in common?

They both like a tight seal....


-You hear about the cross eyed teacher?

He couldnt control his pupils....


-Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again....

-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion....
And so on......