Depression

#. That's your definition of ignorance isn't it?

[Edited on 26-6-2003 by Leveller]

Keep your head up Ocelot!

I've suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories (age 3 or 4) involve me feeling what I know now to be clinically depressed.
I wasn't treated for it growing up. In my early teens, I attempted suicide twice. From age ten or so on to my early twenties, I was also a cutter ... self-mutilation. I'd cut or burn my arms and legs over & over again.
Most nights I went to bed hoping I didn't wake up the next morning.

It was awful.

About a year ago, my best friend more or less dragged me to the ER because I wouldn't do anything but cry for a week straight. He loaded me into the car and drove me there and made sure I stayed until someone saw me.
So, at the age of 25, I finally got the help I needed.
I don't believe in God, but in my mind it was nothing short of a miracle when the Prozac I was prescribed started working.
I was rational. I wanted to live. I wasn't afraid to leave the house. I didn't burst into tears if I burnt dinner.

I'm still getting counseling on top of the meds. Let's face it, there's no real cure for depression, and meds won't magically make everything all better.
But, my god do they make a tremendous difference.

A week and a half ago, I made an emergency doctor's appointment. I'd been trying to deny it for a month or so, but I finally had to face the fact that the Prozac wasn't working as well as it had been.
I asked my doc if we could up the dose. Considering the dose I was already on, he wasn't comfortable with increasing it any more. We talked about different meds, other SSRIs (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors - the family of antidepressants including Prozac, Paxil & Wellbutrin).
Given that I wasn't responding well to a rather potent SSRI as it was, Russ suggested a new-er med called an SNRI, or a Seratonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitor. Where Prozac and its ilk regulate the neurotransmitter seratonin, the new SNRIs regulate both seratonin and norepinephrine. It's a little more potent, but after we went over the pros and cons, I decided to try Effexor.

Before I could start another drug that affects the chemistry in my brain, I had to stop the Prozac. Taking the two concurrently can potentially cause seratonin syndrome, which can be fatal.
After 24 hours without Prozac, I was back in the black hole I'd been in a year ago. I was delusional, paranoid, couldn't get out of bed ... it was terrible.
After 4 days, I was able to start a VERY low dose of Effexor. Within 24 hours of my first pill, the cloud started to lift. Now, a week later, I'm back to functional and almost symptom-free.
Tomorrow I step up in dose on the Effexor, and a week after that I'll have titred up to the full starting dose.

If the Effexor works better than the Prozac did, I'll be pleased. If not, I'll have my doctor try something else, because there is no way I EVER want to go back to feeling as hopeless as I did before I started treatment.

Some people say it's a nightmare being treated for mental illness. IMO, it's a nightmare NOT being treated for one.

-B.

Keep your head up Ocelot!

Thanx for the kind words PA I appreciate it.

Hope is a good word..........When one has hope one can overcome many obstacles in life.....

Learn to forgive others of whom you consider to cause you sadness.

Seek to love all people ..........even those that mean to hurt you ..........dont seek out revenge......revenge can actually do more harm then good!

Depression can be cured because when someone has 'Hope' then all else seems futile......
Smile and do something good.....even when one has dislike to you!

Depression affects all people......some more then others.....some longer then others......

To overcome depression you need to release all the bad feelings of whatever it is you have.......let go of past hurt's and hate you have.......
Forgiving and doing good for bad is a feeling of being happy....and talk to people whom really want to listen .....
Positive thoughts are better then negative ones.......
Look at the people that are worst off then yourself and put yourself in that situation!
They live because they have 'hope' of things that will come better.......and though they may not all become better, you at least have the ''hope'' to take you through..
just some thoughts!
helen.

When i get depressed i turned to 2 things the first is i slap on an EyeHateGod C.D and block everything else that matters in then world out and crank up the volume .

Second well they say you can drown your sorrows while drinking and i do just that.

Originally posted by drunk
When i get depressed i turned to 2 things the first is i slap on an EyeHateGod C.D and block everything else that matters in then world out and crank up the volume .

Second well they say you can drown your sorrows while drinking and i do just that.

And by doing all that ........do you think that all is ok?
Why Hate God?
It is the one thing that people do......blame God !
Maybe the reason people blame God is because there is something there in our souls that needs to be fixed......something that connects us with God that has not yet been made to reveal to us ......
Blaming God for mistakes or for being hurt does not accomplish anything besides more anger and hate within ourselves!
Ask for help!
Ask questions!
Seek and you shall find!

Drinking your sorrows away will not eventuate into anything but your own terrible fate.
You cannot be drinking your sorrows away 24 hours a day........or when you feel down or hurt........it may seem like it makes you feel better.....but in the end it overtakes you and consumes all that is left of goodness in you.........
helen

Originally posted by helen670

Originally posted by drunk
When i get depressed i turned to 2 things the first is i slap on an EyeHateGod C.D and block everything else that matters in then world out and crank up the volume .

Second well they say you can drown your sorrows while drinking and i do just that.

And by doing all that ........do you think that all is ok?
Why Hate God?
It is the one thing that people do......blame God !
Maybe the reason people blame God is because there is something there in our souls that needs to be fixed......something that connects us with God that has not yet been made to reveal to us ......
Blaming God for mistakes or for being hurt does not accomplish anything besides more anger and hate within ourselves!
Ask for help!
Ask questions!
Seek and you shall find!

Drinking your sorrows away will not eventuate into anything but your own terrible fate.
You cannot be drinking your sorrows away 24 hours a day........or when you feel down or hurt........it may seem like it makes you feel better.....but in the end it overtakes you and consumes all that is left of goodness in you.........
helen

Thanx for the advice Helen but i have found that asking questions makes things worse for me it just brings a topic up again.

Again drinking drinking my sorrows aways does work for
me cos i dont drink 24/7 when i am depressed.

That reminds i also play my guitar when i feel down.

well, at least I'm not the only one. I've suffered bouts of severe depression on and off (but more on than off) since I was 11. I've tried handfuls of drugs and mounds of therapy, but nothing's really worked yet. it kind of goes away on its own, only to return 6 months or a year later. (I do know it's not manic depression, though, both my mom and brother are manic depressive, and my symptoms are nothing like theirs.) I've darn near hit bottom again, so it's time for another round of meds and therapists...hopefully something will stick this time, and I won't have to be looking over my shoulder and waiting for the bottom to drop out forever. wish me luck! :p

Runners high is the best cure for depression ( Well in my own opinion ) When I feel depressed or sad I put on my running sneakers and go jog a mile or 2 and after a warm bath I feel like a million dollars....

Can someone tell me what causes someone to become depressed and then have bouts of it throughout their life? I can understand that it's obviously human nature to become sad and depressed when you lose someone or become ill or have a stroke of terrible luck and things like that..but wouldn't that be normal and wouldn't you come out of it when your life changes or with time?

What would make it become clinical and need medication? Why can't we just work through it like we do with all other emotions and feelings without medication?

Everyone I've known has had bouts of depression..this just seems normal human nature to me. Obviously you would become severely depressed if your child died and your spouse left you and you got fired from your job?? If you didn't then you wouldn't be human. Is it just something that comes so hard and strong and won't go away...ever, so this is why you have to resort to doctors and medication?
Thanks

There has never been any proven medical condition that has ever been proven to affect the mind. With the acception of tumors and the like. This A.D.D. and the others are just a bunch of # so the medical field can experament with drugs. A form of volunter mind control because the parents can't raise there kids right. That's what happens when you feed our children the concept of having to have. They get discouraged and then they freak out.

Originally posted by magestica
Can someone tell me what causes someone to become depressed and then have bouts of it throughout their life?

I think if we actually knew that, something more could be done for depression than the rather hit-and-miss drug and psychotherapy. I suppose it's a large part biological or chemical, and it's definitely hereditary. my dad is prone to severe depression, and both my mom and brother are bipolar (manic-depressive). the trend continues in my extended family.

What would make it become clinical and need medication? Why can't we just work through it like we do with all other emotions and feelings without medication?

because it's not just another emotion. it takes over your life. I can't stress that enough. it clouds everything. it becomes like looking through dark sunglasses and walking through deep water. everything seems dark and fuzzy and far away. physical sensations are muffled; when I was younger I used to cut myself. I didn't really feel it. the emotional pain is almost like radio static at the bottom of one's soul...it drowns everything else out. there's nothing left but that pain, and you begin to feel that there's no longer anything left of you. that's the point where suicide starts to become an option.

Is it just something that comes so hard and strong and won't go away...ever, so this is why you have to resort to doctors and medication?
Thanks

for some people, it never goes away. mine goes away for short periods of time, and then returns with a vengance. when I'm not depressed, a twinge of sadness or a bad day can send me into a panic, worried that I'm dropping into a black hole again. (and it's not just because it sucks...it brings my life to a grinding halt. I've lost jobs, friends, significant others, and failed classes because of it) so I'm looking for something that'll if not cure it, at least hold it at bay so I don't have to live forever waiting for the worst to happen. sorry for being long-winded. I just try to explain what it's like to be severely depressed as carefully as possible, because I find a lot of people misunderstand what it really means. judging from your comments and questions Majestica and cainecrawford, you've never been severely depressed. you're very lucky

Thanks for sharing that with us..

Most of the questions I was asking I knew couldn't possibly be answered by anyone here, even doctors can't answer those questions. I've dealt with someone very close to me who is bi-polor, manic, whatever..for many years and since that time came of the 'diagnosis' I've tried desperately to figure out the 'root' of the problem myself..which can cause me to become quite frustrated and depressed as well.

To me though, everything in life has an answer somewhere. No matter what the question. But I know one things for certain, medication is simply there to *mask* the problem, not to answer or fix it. Wherever the depression came from, whatever source, needs to be found and confronted in order to be even somewhat fixed..hiding behind a slew of pills won't bring anyone there in my opinion.

*I read a fantastic true story several years ago about a womans life of depression and bi-polor and after almost 20 some odd years of being on different types of medication(that caused more harm then good) she finally was able to wean herself off and confront the demons herself. I believe she was nearly 60 when she wrote the book and has been off of meds for 10 years and no longer had any symptoms of depression...she freed herself of those demons of saddness and medications in the long run. So it can be done! It was really strange peering into her life from the beginning as I myself couldn't really figure out what ever prompted such severe depression. She had a pretty good life, there were sad moments, but even she said herself that she never really understood what made her that way?*

Unfortunately, I think that just some people are not as strong as others..they don't know how to deal with certain things in life. An imbalance? Maybe..or maybe not? There are many folks that never become severely depressed and yet their brains show the same as someone who has a chemical imbalance..Alot of people see depression as the only way to live. Like you..you saw that growing up and therefore you have it imbedded inside you that you will be that way-it's inevitable. But that's not exactly truth, you can change that, you do have a spirit like everyone else who walks the earth, so you can change if you search inside yourself for even the most tiniest speck of strength and force it out, and to overcome your depression...because depression IS a weakness and any kind of strength you can generate from within CAN overcome that weakness and stop the chain from continuing on to your children and so on..You NEED someone to have faith in you...even if you are that someone. You have all the power you need to be free of the sufferring you've dealt with and seen so many years...BELIEVE ME-I know this to be TRUTH!

I'm not trying to play psychiatrist or psychologists with you..I'm speaking from my heart. Everyone here on this planet has purpose and meaning, even if they can't see it. One day you will see it. And it doesn't involve medicine and depression. Sometimes we can't change who we are..and that's ok. But we can become a better form of who we are...
Magestica

depression is caused by something right?

step one, find out what that somethin is, it could be lots of things, betrayl, anger, hatred, something that eats at you, most of the time this is the easy part.

after you've identified this, you must meditate on it, discover why it irks you, you must analyze your problem, and discover why it bugs you.

next, think about it, it probably has no life or death consequences, and it's over, it should be left alone. this is called letting go. i can let go of things, so i don't get depressed,

if that don't work, just roll a big fat blunt.

Mornington Cresent.
As far as never been depressed before. I have had the gun in my mouth and the noose around my neck more than once. Like the White Zombie song says I walk line. I live on the street to top it off. I have been that sick boy who's hand felt like two ballons( when I was 13). I'm as vaganbon as they come. But I am writing a book. With luck my own self will get me out of it. Not some dead end job hoping on tomorrow. I'm like one of those that travels from over seas to get to a place with nothing. Atleast this way I know it was by my will.



I think if anyone would like to look into getting rid of whatever alis them, I would look into monoatomics. What is Ormus. It come from ancient alchemy. Form the likes of Baslius Valentine and Hermies. Emerabld tablet and the Phylosophers stone.

[Edited on 2-7-2003 by cainecrawford]

[Edited on 2-7-2003 by cainecrawford]

I think that your environment can bring on, or cause depression. I have suffered from it recently over the last few years. It came from my work, I have a job I loved with a boss from hell, who turned my colleagues against me. I retired into myself and became depressed.

Things are better now, I am still in that job, the boss died, but I still live with the effects of his actions in my relationships with my colleagues. When I am not working, say holidays, I am totally 'normal' happy, alert, spontanious, creative, energetic etc, but back in that environment I am a different person.

The problem is that you can treat the depression with drugs, but you can't take away the environmental factors that cause it.

I know this thread is kinda old but I wanted to add to it...
I have suffered from depression now for many years I cannot really pin point when it started but I know I had PD after my daughter was born and went on prozac which seemed to do the trick,was on them on and off for a while...but when I was in a stressful job many years later it kind of got out of control,I came near to break down and they tried all sorts of meds which would work for a while & then I would start feeling down again..I had the counselling but,there were alot of things locked away I didn't want to discuss,which I felt when talking about made me a whole lot worse,so for me the counselling didn't work..in the end I was put on venlafaxine which worked and maintained my depression,I was on a high dose and coming off was hell,they also made me put loads of weight on...
I managed for 3 years after without any pills (well tried the herbal ones) but had a really bad episode approx 6 months ago,I was close to ending it all just could cope with nothing (& yet if you looked at my life you would say-you have so much you shouldn't be unhappy!) The doc didn't want to put me on effor again and put me on Zispin I had a severe allergic reaction to these...was really ill...so then went back on the venlafaxine which I am still on now,I have an asessment next month,but I feel tons better,still have bad days but I feel in control now,where before I didn't..so for me I think I need the pills,I didn't want to go back on them,due to the side affects but,this time I have lost weight instead of gaining,so will have to see how it goes....

[edit on 31-12-2008 by special]

[edit on 31-12-2008 by special]

What i'd like to know is how anyone can not be depressed. War everywhere. People starving in some places. Lots of people giving up their pets to animal shelters to be killed because of the economy People losing jobs and homes. Corrupt leaders. All freedom being taken away ect. on and on.

reply to post by special


hi .. i am38 and depression runs in my family . around 20 yrs ago i started getting anxiety ... i didnt now what it was .. i got chest pains and couldnt breathe right and i always felt like my heart was gonna explode ..i was afraid to see a doctor for fear of being told i had a disease or heart condition ..this all lead to me doing nothing but trying to self diagnose .. the panic attacks became more frequent for 15 yrs until my life was one continous attack ..on top of all this my body was in severe pain all the time .. my legs , stomach , hands and arms would go numb all the time also ... i became a hypo condriac and for the about 8 yrs all i did was go to work , come home and sleep .. i dont know how i actually worked all those years like that .. all the time i believed i was gonna die at any second .. 5 yrs ago i injured my back ... i was so afraid of seeing a dr that i worked with 2 hernited discs in my back for 3 yrs . yes 3 yrs of agonizing pain and numbness ... i eventually couldnt even walk upright anymore .. ...the human spirit is such that i hid yrs of depression , anxiety , all the symptoms of both and also a major back injury from my girlfriend and family ... she finally told me she knew i wasnt right and demanded i see a dr ..the hardest thing ive ever did in my life was go into see my dr ... i sat in the waiting room and i was sure i wasnt gonna live through the visit ... to make long story shorter , my drs told me i had high blood pressure , diagnosed me with being severely clinically depressed and with several panic disorders ... he put me on diovan for b/p and started me on xanax and effexor for depression and panic ...for anyone who doubts the wonders of modern medicine , i am living proof to erase these doubts .. i lived through HELL and thats what it was , for 17 yrs ... after one week of medicine i became a normal person for the first time since i was 19 yrs old .. i got my emotions back .. i could actually feel love again .. all the physical things got better , except my back pains ... i was given life back ... i missed my 2 boys growing up for all these yrs and was a horrible father ... they now know why and accept me in thier lives ... i had back surgery a month after all this and missed only 2 weeks of work .... 2 WEEKS OF WORK AFTER MAJOR BACK SURGERY .. my company could not believe this nor could my dr . i am on the patch for pain now and may be for the rest of my life , but it is nothing compared to the years of torture i went through ... all the meds i take have very few side effects .. the only real side effect is that it takes me a lot longer to have an orgasm during sex .. horrible , huh ? anyone who has suffered like this , you have my heart .. depression is a horrible dreadful nasty , decieving disease