Tell Your Story....Describe your journey to....

reply to post by yaluk


Your reply made me laugh so loud that I just drew way too much attention in my direction...Oh well, I enjoyed the laugh and your sense of humor.

I suppose all of our paths started out just as yours:

Thanks

reply to post by galadofwarthethird

What a fascinating read.....I don't really know what to say.

My whole entire life. Twilight Zone meets Outer Limits meets X Files. I'm serious. So there it is.

reply to post by Heartisblack


Yes,you do have a soul!
You have had some dark feelings expressed here on ATS.
Whatever is bothering you most here will listen and give you
some sound advice.

Utterly miserable. I have no friends. Here's why. I watched the truman show when I was little and at the end I thought, I'm going to do that, to change the world to make them be nicer. I was an only child and my parents were divorced since I was 2. My dad a womanizer yet also high up in the corp real estate scene but basically #ed over by a certain very very popular figure in american business society and died of a heart attack before many of his deals acrss country could materialize. He also strung me along for the ride, making me get my real estate license afer high school and then dies. My mom worked a ton when I was growing up and I never flt surrounded by a comforting circle of ppl bc life is lonely let's just admit it know. So here I am, unable to talk to my ritsy friends from back hme abouut my dad bc they are on the flip side, being rich and pretending their #ed up society matters. I currently have a friend at work who proves to be constantly how petty many many "normal" ppl are. I don't know I just know that everyone wants to feel self confident but in a healthy way and this world is the complete and utter opposite of that. I'm trying to save the world 15 years later but its like we have to all work together and want better thing. As for war, yeah, let's purposefully make our lives a terror. Why is money our priority when quality of life should be. I want a different and calmer world where we live practically and happily. So basically my whole life I just oobserve ppl bc I don't want a life like the oone society at current provides... and what I've observed isn't good. ... we have potential but we need to stop running around. Lifes too short and I'm sick of being miserable for wanting a calmer human society. I want to act, but everything is so clustered. Bottom line, bushs first oil comp funded by bin ladens.. bush snr is an occultist and cofounder of skull and cross bones... a huuuge huuge businessman in our country was going to kill my dad if he didn't leave the city I'm froom bc he had met a match in shrewdness and was threatened,. And my grnadpa had to make my dad leave bc his ego was so big!! Anyway, I'm tired, I'm burnt out ..we need healthy lives and think we need to completely change how we live if we have a desire to ever be happy? Does anyone feel quiet desperation or am I the only one who feels alone?

I forgot to mention I've always felt very passionate about my goals, caught myself doodling 666 one day when I was little before I knew what is was but saw right after that what it meant online I think I googled it but really my life has had a very strange sense to it. When I was young I never thought id make it past 25 basically bc I hated life. My birthday 25th bday is oct 28th 2011 . And I'm pretty much believing in astrology at this pt bc a man in miami once goes I want to show u st. It was a birthday book and for my day of the year, it was exactly like my innermost thoughs. I don't know if disaster is coming buut I do believe in a cosmic force bc I've been supremely self confident in my goal for a loong time. Regardless, shouldn't the rich be held to the same standards as everyone else or really, shouldn't we all adhere too the same, god as we can get them, standards? Yes the elite have run up our world population but with everyoone working hard to create a new world I doubt domestication would be our main focus anymore. Let's change the world and be open w each other. I already feel so much better getting out my feelsings.. thank u you ats openminded ppl for listening and trust when I say every single person in the #ry has heard of the man I refer to as telling my dad to leave town or he'd kill him. Enough male dominence from both the sexes.. we need balance and we need less pressure bc I can't even handle this # we call living anymore. Don't worry I'm not suicidal just stuck bc it will take collaboration. Thanks like I said feels great.

Ps I'm not spell checking I could give two #s ok.

reply to post by mdc5ff


I certainly don't think you are alone in how you feel. It seems to me that you want a more peaceful existence yet, find yourself facing constant commotion and chaos. You don't seems to "fit" in this life that you have been living.

You are definately NOT alone.

I'm glad that gettting all this baggage of your chest helped a little....I think that by voicing your feelings, you are on the right track to understanding why you feel so uncentered. Once you understand those reasons, maybe you can find the right path in becoming centered and happy for a change. My heart goes out to you and wish you the best of luck in your journey.

Some of what you wrote about (in regards to your father and business dealings) sounds a bit overwhelming yet, somehow intriuging to me. I would be interested in hearing more about that if you are open to talking about it. Feel free to msg me if you are uncomfortable posting in the thread.

I do wish you the best of luck in the rest of your journey and hope you find the peace and happiness that you want and deserve.

Aw thanks that was kind. It just seems to be since we re living in an existence thst we don't fully understand that we would work together to the best of our abilities, and even if a certain facet of society was very technical it would still be accessible. Instead we fight for a totally bull# notion called money when it leaves no one happier. Trust me I've had plenty of experoence noticing ppl not being honest w themselves. I just hate the world bc I don't know what goes on it in and I don't think anyone has a clear view of things bc they're so muddied. I just think we have great room for improvement organizationally speaking. I don't know I don't know I don't know. And I don't want to spend ,y life like this and I want ppl to realize we all need fullfillment in our lives which would prob only happen w much more peace and sanity. But no one cares about the futuure on a large scale . No moore making things that are harmful and what in the # drives ppl to do these things and act this way? Bc they need some sense oof routine and normalcy. But trust me, the world is not normal, not sane but rather greedy and stuck in the rat race that we and we alone created. We can undoour damage I just wish I had a forum to just talk to all a,ericans, talk them thru their crazy ideals of god and bias. Its all bull# and all I want to feel is happy, apart of something, and knowing that I'm doing my best/ our best.. all we can really ask and hope for.

Talk about rant from my cell phone at work yesterday! Geesh but I too am fed up / w assholes our country haha the genersal things but thanks for puttng up with my cell phone rant post dud e sis.