Why do women feel the need to dislike other women !!!???

reply to post by TrueBrit


\m/ hell-o to a fellow metalhead.

Im sorry that you had to go through that with that girl. Im sure it made your life a living hell. I had the bad luck of running into a few of these women in metal shows and them trying to beat each other up in the bathroom cause they thought a girl was flirting with their bf. (who usually was a band member in the stage). Truth be told, the other girls were just casually talking to the band members but these girls would go into these jealous rages because they weren't exactly the best looking gals in the show.

One of these girls eventually got her butt kicked and they banned her from the show. She would start picking fights on the prettier girls at the show.


Im glad you got rid of that quick!

reply to post by blackmetalmist

Truth be told, the other girls were just casually talking to the band members but these girls would go into these jealous rages because they weren't exactly the best looking gals in the show. One of these girls eventually got her butt kicked and they banned her from the show. She would start picking fights on the prettier girls at the show.

You sure seem to be fixated on the looks thing. Why is that? Maybe you make assumptions that girls are jealous, when in fact they may not like someones character ?

Personally , I have no issues with women as a whole.. Just characteristics in humans which I do not care for...and those exist in both sexes.

I have seen the very same characteristics you speak of in men as well..

Women can be excellent "soul sisters" , and there are way too many damn good women out there for me to ever put down the whole gender.

I used to have a lot of guy friends....but it always got complicated, because most guys don't want just a friendship..and are always looking for that "in" door.

I like the feeling of having "brothers", but talking to my brother about it one day.. he told me.. sorry sis.. guys that are friends often have hopes of more. I won't say all are like this, but in my experience, it has been at least 90%.

So, I must say..I feel no need to dislike other women just because they are women...no matter what they look like...and some of the smartest, and nicest people out there happen to be beautiful as well. They are beautiful on the outside, but more important, they have an integrity , and beauty that shines through on the inside.. and it shows in how they interact with others.

Also..if someones spouse or boyfriend hits up on me, in front of his gf or wife, I make a point to point out how lovely she is , and how lucky he is to have her. That usually (not always) gets the message across, that I'm not interested in him, and he is being an idiot to his gf...or his wife.

If someone blatantly came on to my BF or spouse...I would leave it up to my spouse to deal with it ..sometimes they enjoy the attention, and nothing wrong with a little ego boosting... but its up to them to draw the line.. not me telling some woman to lay off.

So, in closing this post I will say this..

Long live my soul sisters... I appreciate you more than you may realize..

reply to post by blackmetalmist


I have always told my husband that he can look
but he can't touch!
If he ever touches,he gets peanut butter and jelly for
dinner,then I will go shopping!

I'm a guy but your post made me think of something that happened to me when I was a lot younger (and better looking! LOL) I was a toolmaker in a large company (it was a union company) I was 1 of about 10 toolmakers (all guys) in a room built in the middle of this very large building. The building was filled with presses and stamping machines and there was about 250 women that worked out there (only a few men). I worked the night shift.
The door to the toolroom (or machine shop) was the only 'window' into our view of the building.
I was there about 3 months and was running a computer controlled lathe (sorry if I use terms that aren't familiar) and noticed a young cute girl running a press outside the room (she was new as well) she looked up and waved and I waved back, at break time there was a line for the soda machine and as I got in line I noticed she was in front of me. She turned around and said hello and introduced herself and I found she was very shy and quiet, we chatted for about 10 minutes and I went back to the shop. The next night I looked up and saw her at her usual work station and she waved again, once again at break we chatted and she told me she loved horses and I told her I was from California (that was as personal as we ever got!) later in the evening her machine broke down and I was paged to come out and replace the die-set. I got to the machine and said hi and started removing the die, I looked up and saw this older lady with about 4 others about the same age (late 50's) watching, one walked over and said to the girl "honey, while he repairs your machine why don't you go run the press on line 2?" so they walked away. I finished up, looked up the supervisor (she was the one that had walked up) and told her the tool was back up. A little later the girl was back at the machine and after cycling it once, she looked up smiled and gave me a 'thumbs up'.
Well the next night I am working and I get a page to the main office, I go up there and 'Gus' the night factory manager asked me to come in his office and have a seat. Then he started "Phil, buddy... I want you to know I don't care who sleeps with who as long as it's off the company property!" at which point I ask what the hell he is talking about and he says "Phil, Phil, phil.. I'm not a dummy and don't deny it, as a matter of fact I can't blame you as her supervisor pointed her out to me and she is a cutey!" At which point I knew he was talking about the 'girl' outside the tool room.. I tried to tell him we talked a couple of times and that was it and he cut me off and said "Phil, come on.. I know what happened and it's okay, your not in trouble but just don't let it happen on company property, I don't need that old supervisor pointing he finger in my face!"
With that I went back to the tool room shaking my head, I told the guys (the other toolmakers) what happened and they got a kick out of it and told me the supervisor was a 'beech' and her buddies liked nothing better than to get and of the young good looking girls in trouble! I mentioned she called her 'honey' several times and was told she always did that to the girls she didn't like!
This made me so mad, I took my tools home that night and quit as I figured the supervisor wouldn't stop until they fired the girl!. I couldn't believe someone could say such a horrible lie and take it all the way to the manager! I don't know how that woman could sleep at night knowing it was a complete lie, I was also disappointed that the plant manager didn't believe me unless her buddies backed her up.
We were both so innocent of the rumor that when I got home I told my wife why I quit and she fully agreed with my decision (also as a toolmaker/engineer at that time finding another job wasn't a problem).
Sorry to bore you with my story but it just shows what you stated in your OP is very true.
My daughter is a cute girl and has now started working and she told me the guys (she works in a college) is nicer to her than most the females and most her friends are males but she is a Daddy's girl so her guy friends are all afraid of me LOL, a perfect way to keep it!
Best regards,
Phil

reply to post by wulff


The thing that disturbs me most about the kind of behaviour mentioned in this thread, is that the logical conclusion to a species which allows it to continue, is automatically garun-damn-teed to fail eventually. Its one thing having healthy competition for mating rights (if we must resort to such gaudy terms when speaking of what ought to be a wonderful, innocent, and poetic ritual) amongst us psychotic apes, but the sort of simmering malevolence that exists beneath the false smiles and dagger gaze of some examples of the species, assists the human race in a healthy continuance not one bit.

Taking your example Wulff, the company for which you worked at the time you refer to in your post, lost out on your services, and no doubt the services of other morally driven persons affected in a similar manner down the years, all due to the unwarranted and unhelpful input of what I can only assume were a collective of embittered old bags (not a term I would normally use, it being disrespectful, although perhaps justified in this case). Loosing good people, and by that I do not merely refer to skilled persons, from a workforce is NEVER a good thing, because in any collection of people, wether they be collected for reasons of work, politics, theology or art, there must be a morally advanced element, if group cohesion is to remain. Removing such people via the machinery of bitterness is counter productive to the psychology of the workforce as a whole, since such bitterness only removes those who have enough moral strength to know when they are under a burden that they ought not bare. Yet these are the very people that a decent employer should be careful to retain, since they are the ones to be trusted and kept as well as can be.

These negative people are what divide us, as individuals, as groups, and on the wider scales, as nations and regions on the globe. What is most horrific about these people, is that often they are merely expressing thier dissatisfaction with thier own lives, and or working out thier own issues, usually passed on through family problems in thier childhoods, to persons who have at least tried to conquer thier deamons and lay thier interfamilial issues to rest, before engaging the outside world. That such people are allowed to access those who have at least made the effort of getting free of the toxic programming of thier past, is a tragedy, because it will undo all the hard work some have to put in to evolve past thier broken forebares issues, and become decent people, and it undermines the efforts of the parents of those who were raised in happier homes as children. The embittered among us are a cancer on the sociological flesh which keeps the guts of mankind restrained, and unfortunately, no genuinely effective or immediate treatment can be applied to them.

We just have to see them for what they are, and avoid allowing them to pass on thier vile disease to the rest of us, and continue to live decently and as peacefully as the times and circumstances we find ourselves in allow, despite thier fractious intentions toward us as a species. Good luck to all of us, for we shall surely need it.

I've noticed this too. Women seem to have more difficulty being civil with each other than men do.

I remember so many times being out in public with my ex girlfriend, we would just be walking and talking, and suddenly right when I was in the middle of a sentence she would spot some girl and blurt out "she looks like a skank!" Me usually replying with something like "I didn't notice, I was in the middle of speaking." Then she would actually get angry for reasons unknown to me. Almost like she was angry that I didn't confirm her statement. What's weird about that is men are always accused of leering at other women, when in fact most women seem to have hawk eyes and will scope the room for 'skanks' to sneer at. I always just figured that they do this to feel better about themselves and boost their own confidence.

And to think that women have the nerve to say that men behave in primitive ways LOL.

It's a good job we aren't still burning people at the stake for witchery.
Due to the finger pointing and basic bitchery there probably wouldn't be many women to go about. Orchestrators of our own demise by petty jealousy, ego and pride.

I've seen the extreme version of this.

I knew this one couple, and the woman was irrational and insanely jealous of her boyfriend.

In fact, if he even said hello to a female friend he knew for years before her she'd kick him in the balls. She'd also go on the warpath if he looked at another woman, breaking his stuff. One time she broke his Playstation 3 with a sledge hammer, and broke his mirror over his head. She would also burn any photographs of any female in his life, including his mother. She destroyed his relationship with his parents and eventually drove him to live on the streets for a couple of months before he went into a homeless shelter.

In fact she even didn't want him to get a driver's license because it meant that he would drive away from her. That's how controlling and manipulative she was.

And almost all women are like this to a degree. The only women who aren't are women who have low self esteem or are the kind of women who will go after convicts in prison who kill and rape women.

Basically it seems to me that far too many women think that they and only they should be the man's only world, and the man should rely upon no one else but them, and that she has to be the boss of the man. And they wonder why we're the way we are towards women. I don't understand how or why they got this mentality, but I blame militant man hating feminism.

It's one reason why I don't want a girlfriend, and no, I am not gay. I've just seen a lot of irrational crap from women to really want to have anything to do with them. Yes I know some people are going to zap me and ridicule and belittle me for that. But they don't understand what I've been through in my life because they haven't seen or experienced it.

Ah well.

Live and learn.

i would of thought its down to the desire to breed so if she's rabidly defensive then she's probably wanting a baby and want to ensure that the father is the poor sod but then again years ago i saw a program where 'undateable' women who were violent to men they liked but due to the violence they never got near a guy except at the wrong time of the month was down to hormonal problems and putting the women on a course of birth control tablets seemed to cure their psychotic thoughts

Insecurity,i would say.Women need to realise that where ever they are,no matter how good-looking they are,there are always gonna be millions and millions of younger,better-looking women.Thats why its wise to grow a personality the sooner the better,and work out your own worth as an individual.

I never feel threatened by a better-looking woman myself,because i know my own worth.I respect myself,and have appreciation for my various qualities-i dont want to be/look like any one else,not even Angelina Jolie,just to use an example.

I think also,a lot of women dont trust their boyfriends/husbands/girlfriends(if they are lesbian).Its like their sense of self-worth is mostly tied up in how they look..the whole physical appearance thing.Check out the market for cosmetic surgery.We live in a disposable-mindset society,so people are afraid to be discarded too,and if your whole sense of self-worth is wrapped up in your appearance,you will see other good-looking people as a threat.Unfortunately,most of these woman are dead correct in assuming they could be replaced by a better-looking/sexier model.So shallow,are people.Once you are happy and secure in your own self-worth,every one else,male or female,ceases to be a threat.Socially speaking,you know.

I operate on the presumption that if a man does,nt want me because he would rather go for a better-looking woman-its his loss,im wayyy better off without him,anyway.I have a lot to offer,and i dont need a man to find me gorgeous to feel good about myself.I also dont get how woman thinks that to be bitchy about another woman will make them more attractive,i make a point of complimenting other women if they look good.Why not? To keep quiet about it,to withhold a compliment,wont make me prettier.To give a compliment where its due,wont make me uglier..It really does tie in with insecurities,and a distorted sense of self-worth.

reply to post by Xaphan

Yeah,i dont get the jealousy thing,except to realise it is born of insecurity.My husband for instance think that Drew Barrymore and Carrie-Ann Moss are both absolutely sublime-and i agree with him.Good grief,i even say to him: "That woman is gorgeous" when we are watching dvd's and i say when i find some gy to be hot.He will for instance say: "Viggo Mortensen's in this movie,dont miss your oppurtunity to perve out!' We laugh about it.

We disagree on which women are traffic-stoppers,i will point out some-one and he'll say: "Nah,she's so-so"..its interesting for me to see,whom he finds gorgeous,and who not,i ask and the answers i get(for not finding a certain woman gorgeous) can be side-splitting! I dont mind him looking-its just looking,for crying out loud.I look too.Its natural.

I avoid those people like the plague, I won't let them infect me with their ways.
I won't blame this all on women, men are equally capable of it.

and I have fun with them if they act that way to me, I simply troll them away.

I just want to add I loves the metal.

Originally posted by Raxoxane
Drew Barrymore

She would be sublime if it weren't for that voice.

That voice...

Before I read your post and saw your pretty picture I knew the answer. Jealousy. If they chose to be that way ignore them as best you can, you certainly don't need these petty, insecure people for friends. Picture them as the wicked step-sisters in Cinderella when they get on your nerves.

There are a lot of things hardwired into us as a species (men and women both, if in different ways) that have to do with competition. Competition for resources, mates, status, and other things.

Fortunately we have brains and can ovveride our competitive spirit when its suitable to do so. But first we have to honestly acknowledge it. Then and only then can we strive to move beyond it.

reply to post by blackmetalmist


VERY much know where you are coming from!
I've always had boyish interests, and got on better with men, rather than women.
I had girl friends in school, but as I developed my own interests, I branched out and met more people.
Eventually, the girls I was friends with started really disturbing rumours about me, really nasty things which hurt since I knew these people so well at one point, and I still to this day have absolutely no idea why suddenly they turned on me.
One girl asked me once why I was sleeping with so many men. The fact was, I had many male friends I was comfortable with staying over night, without any kind of sexual contact, and I know it's only my word that stands against accusations, and people for some reason are more inclined to believe the worst about people than the good. But honestly, I am more than capable of spending the night with a guy and not having any kind of sexual contact with them, and I feel that the accusation comes from other women who can't say the same. Funnily enough, one of the girls that started that particular rumour is living with a guy who I stayed with once, no funny business. I wonder if she knows? That'd screw up her rumour mill.

I've since gained more close female friends, but even now, they are so prone to gossip mongering and talking about other people behind their backs, it really annoys me, because I've been the subject of bitchiness, and would prefer no part of it.

Very much have a male mind, where I don't even want to hear gossip, let alone gossip about others.

Only in AMERICA

Totally know what you mean, OP. Drives me insane.
Every time I think I've made a solid friendship with another female, it really DOES get competitive. She'll find reason to see flaw in me, get focused on our varying weights, come-on to my boyfriend...
I just don't understand it. Me and other chicks just really don't get one. I mean, it might be a fault of mine, but I really do not think that is the case.